Pushy Co-Workers

FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »

HardcoreP0rk wrote: »

bigblondewolf wrote: »

HardcoreP0rk wrote: »

bigblondewolf wrote: »

janejellyroll wrote: »

bigblondewolf wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

Be a team player here. Just making the effort speaks louder of your integrity rather than opposing. It's one meal not a commitment to eating that way forever.
We always have potlucks at my office gym and people bring food that's considered "unhealthy" by many standards. Some eat it, some don't. But they at least show up and don't mock the others for doing so.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

It's not just about the healthy value of the food - as I stated earlier, a lot of the menu options they're giving make me feel very ill. And my boss is not accommodating.

You don't have to order one that will make you feel ill. You can, as your boss suggested, order the salad. I get that it isn't exciting, but one lunch isn't really going to make you die of boredom.

I don't think objecting to being told what to put in my body is being overly difficult.

But if that's the consensus of the majority, then I guess I'm just going to have to suck it up.

I'll be honest, you sound like you're being a really high-maintenance PITA and I would be so annoyed if I were your boss. I don't think you should take it to HR. I don't think you should insist on doing your own thing.

I think you should order the least offensive thing possible, eat as much or as little as you can manage, have a good time, and add healthy snacks before and after if you need to. Once in a while, our work requirements extend past being at our desk from 9-5. Get used to it, and be a team player.

Frankly, I'm surprised at you and disappointed in how many people I see here suggesting you should be difficult about this.

I should probably clarify that's it's not just an issue of me being picky with my food. I have food allergies (that my work knows of) and I'm always wary of eating food that has been prepared by a chain restaurant.

It's a non-issue now anyway though, we've just been told that there are only two menu options, neither of which I can order due to allergies. So I'm off the hook I guess lol.

But thanks to everyone for the input!

If they are only offering 2 options, which both affect your food allergies then you're definitely off the hook. We handle food allergies for our people and take that stuff seriously. So at our events, they will bring out a separate plate for the 2-3 people that have issues. We do not have anyone, not even people with extremely severe Crohn's disease, who refuses to eat what we provide at any event. Ever.

I have extremely severe Crohn's disease and will absolutely refuse to eat something that I know could potentially cause me to end up in the ER.

As well you should. And yet we manage to provide options that everyone is ok with. It's conversation and not a battle. And at the end of said conversation - everyone ends up eating together and having a good time. No one ends up in the hospital, and no one childishly dumps a plate of food into the trash to spite their boss.

My point is that it is totally possible to make this work and your refusal to make it work is entirely on you.

HardcoreP0rk wrote: »

FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »

HardcoreP0rk wrote: »

bigblondewolf wrote: »

HardcoreP0rk wrote: »

bigblondewolf wrote: »

janejellyroll wrote: »

bigblondewolf wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

Be a team player here. Just making the effort speaks louder of your integrity rather than opposing. It's one meal not a commitment to eating that way forever.
We always have potlucks at my office gym and people bring food that's considered "unhealthy" by many standards. Some eat it, some don't. But they at least show up and don't mock the others for doing so.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

It's not just about the healthy value of the food - as I stated earlier, a lot of the menu options they're giving make me feel very ill. And my boss is not accommodating.

You don't have to order one that will make you feel ill. You can, as your boss suggested, order the salad. I get that it isn't exciting, but one lunch isn't really going to make you die of boredom.

I don't think objecting to being told what to put in my body is being overly difficult.

But if that's the consensus of the majority, then I guess I'm just going to have to suck it up.

I'll be honest, you sound like you're being a really high-maintenance PITA and I would be so annoyed if I were your boss. I don't think you should take it to HR. I don't think you should insist on doing your own thing.

I think you should order the least offensive thing possible, eat as much or as little as you can manage, have a good time, and add healthy snacks before and after if you need to. Once in a while, our work requirements extend past being at our desk from 9-5. Get used to it, and be a team player.

Frankly, I'm surprised at you and disappointed in how many people I see here suggesting you should be difficult about this.

I should probably clarify that's it's not just an issue of me being picky with my food. I have food allergies (that my work knows of) and I'm always wary of eating food that has been prepared by a chain restaurant.

It's a non-issue now anyway though, we've just been told that there are only two menu options, neither of which I can order due to allergies. So I'm off the hook I guess lol.

But thanks to everyone for the input!

If they are only offering 2 options, which both affect your food allergies then you're definitely off the hook. We handle food allergies for our people and take that stuff seriously. So at our events, they will bring out a separate plate for the 2-3 people that have issues. We do not have anyone, not even people with extremely severe Crohn's disease, who refuses to eat what we provide at any event. Ever.

I have extremely severe Crohn's disease and will absolutely refuse to eat something that I know could potentially cause me to end up in the ER.

As well you should. And yet we manage to provide options that everyone is ok with. It's conversation and not a battle. And at the end of said conversation - everyone ends up eating together and having a good time. No one ends up in the hospital, and no one childishly dumps a plate of food into the trash to spite their boss.

My point is that it is totally possible to make this work and your refusal to make it work is entirely on you.

OP can bring food that she knows is safe for her, eat it with everyone, and still have a good time. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

The only thing that is childish is her boss forcing her to eat food she doesn't want to/can't eat.

janejellyroll wrote: »

FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »

HardcoreP0rk wrote: »

FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »

HardcoreP0rk wrote: »

bigblondewolf wrote: »

HardcoreP0rk wrote: »

bigblondewolf wrote: »

janejellyroll wrote: »

bigblondewolf wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

Be a team player here. Just making the effort speaks louder of your integrity rather than opposing. It's one meal not a commitment to eating that way forever.
We always have potlucks at my office gym and people bring food that's considered "unhealthy" by many standards. Some eat it, some don't. But they at least show up and don't mock the others for doing so.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

It's not just about the healthy value of the food - as I stated earlier, a lot of the menu options they're giving make me feel very ill. And my boss is not accommodating.

You don't have to order one that will make you feel ill. You can, as your boss suggested, order the salad. I get that it isn't exciting, but one lunch isn't really going to make you die of boredom.

I don't think objecting to being told what to put in my body is being overly difficult.

But if that's the consensus of the majority, then I guess I'm just going to have to suck it up.

I'll be honest, you sound like you're being a really high-maintenance PITA and I would be so annoyed if I were your boss. I don't think you should take it to HR. I don't think you should insist on doing your own thing.

I think you should order the least offensive thing possible, eat as much or as little as you can manage, have a good time, and add healthy snacks before and after if you need to. Once in a while, our work requirements extend past being at our desk from 9-5. Get used to it, and be a team player.

Frankly, I'm surprised at you and disappointed in how many people I see here suggesting you should be difficult about this.

I should probably clarify that's it's not just an issue of me being picky with my food. I have food allergies (that my work knows of) and I'm always wary of eating food that has been prepared by a chain restaurant.

It's a non-issue now anyway though, we've just been told that there are only two menu options, neither of which I can order due to allergies. So I'm off the hook I guess lol.

But thanks to everyone for the input!

If they are only offering 2 options, which both affect your food allergies then you're definitely off the hook. We handle food allergies for our people and take that stuff seriously. So at our events, they will bring out a separate plate for the 2-3 people that have issues. We do not have anyone, not even people with extremely severe Crohn's disease, who refuses to eat what we provide at any event. Ever.

I have extremely severe Crohn's disease and will absolutely refuse to eat something that I know could potentially cause me to end up in the ER.

As well you should. And yet we manage to provide options that everyone is ok with. It's conversation and not a battle. And at the end of said conversation - everyone ends up eating together and having a good time. No one ends up in the hospital, and no one childishly dumps a plate of food into the trash to spite their boss.

My point is that it is totally possible to make this work and your refusal to make it work is entirely on you.

OP can bring food that she knows is safe for her, eat it with everyone, and still have a good time. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

The only thing that is childish is her boss forcing her to eat food she doesn't want to/can't eat.

Which, by the way, isn't happening. OP has updated, she is bringing her lunch to the event.

As she should.

bigblondewolf wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

urloved33 wrote: »

Did someone actually say that we sometimes have to eat a "shi( sandwich" YOU MAY but I don't and wont'

Social situations at work the restaurants chosen, the food at pot lucks etc are operating from an antiquated systems...be brave enough to help that system fall to the way side. The majority of office workers are obese for a reason...be brave.

Lol, and there are lots of office workers who can eat whatever is being ordered and be lean and fit too.
The OP is off the hook here due to allergies to the food so it's no longer an issue, but if the "be brave" stance gets taken and people at work then deem that person difficult to deal with on such a "simple" issue, it may make working with these individuals more difficult. Again, it's more a about a "team" bonding here and not personal preferences on food choices. Team aspects aren't about individuality.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Maybe I'm naïve, but I don't see how what I eat has anything to do with a "team" mentality. It's not like we'd all become bffs over the fact that we're eating the same crappy catered sandwiches lol.

It does IF you get to do what you want out of prerogative and others comply because it's not that big a deal. Again, you aren't going to control how other perceive you.
I had some friends when I lived in VA who were "clean" eaters only. When in the gym we worked out together, cracked jokes together, etc.
We were all invited to a party and they asked what was being served. No allergies mind you, but they asked if they could bring their own food to the party. Host said no. So they opted not to go. At the party, guests that knew them viewed them as food "snobs". Again, actions speak louder than words. They obviously took the high road to prevent conflict, but it didn't stop how they were perceived by others.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

hollyrayburn wrote: »

HardcoreP0rk wrote: »

bigblondewolf wrote: »

janejellyroll wrote: »

bigblondewolf wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

urloved33 wrote: »

Did someone actually say that we sometimes have to eat a "shi( sandwich" YOU MAY but I don't and wont'

Social situations at work the restaurants chosen, the food at pot lucks etc are operating from an antiquated systems...be brave enough to help that system fall to the way side. The majority of office workers are obese for a reason...be brave.

Lol, and there are lots of office workers who can eat whatever is being ordered and be lean and fit too.
The OP is off the hook here due to allergies to the food so it's no longer an issue, but if the "be brave" stance gets taken and people at work then deem that person difficult to deal with on such a "simple" issue, it may make working with these individuals more difficult. Again, it's more a about a "team" bonding here and not personal preferences on food choices. Team aspects aren't about individuality.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Maybe I'm naïve, but I don't see how what I eat has anything to do with a "team" mentality. It's not like we'd all become bffs over the fact that we're eating the same crappy catered sandwiches lol.

Choosing something different can be polarizing. What you aren't eating can serve as a powerful reminder to others of what they ARE eating. I see this play out on an ethical level as a vegan -- some people are very alienated by my choice not to eat animal products. And it can also happen on a health level.

Sharing food is powerful. I am not saying you should turn your back on your goals (I don't turn my back on mine), but I don't think it is something that can be dismissed.

Hmm, I can see where that would come into play for sure. It's funny though, because to me it feels more alienating that they're actively choosing not to make people who eat differently uncomfortable.

Ah well, I'll still be there with them at the table with my own lunch so at least I'll physically be there with everyone.

There is perhaps a lack of sensitivity here on the part of your company. We're much more careful about it. When we have events, there's always a fish option on Friday, there's a vegetarian option at every meal, and we have GF and Crohn's friendly special meals on hand for our employees with serious dietary restrictions.

We also have very talented people planning the events, and super nice / accommodating admins that work with us. Maybe come work here? You'd probably like it.

Much nicer than my company, and we are in the healthcare industry. You would think.....

Lol, I believe the healthcare workers tend to be on edge more due to 12 hour shifts! Trust when I tell you that many of my boxing clients are happy to hit the bag after work.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

ninerbuff wrote: »

hollyrayburn wrote: »

HardcoreP0rk wrote: »

bigblondewolf wrote: »

janejellyroll wrote: »

bigblondewolf wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

urloved33 wrote: »

Did someone actually say that we sometimes have to eat a "shi( sandwich" YOU MAY but I don't and wont'

Social situations at work the restaurants chosen, the food at pot lucks etc are operating from an antiquated systems...be brave enough to help that system fall to the way side. The majority of office workers are obese for a reason...be brave.

Lol, and there are lots of office workers who can eat whatever is being ordered and be lean and fit too.
The OP is off the hook here due to allergies to the food so it's no longer an issue, but if the "be brave" stance gets taken and people at work then deem that person difficult to deal with on such a "simple" issue, it may make working with these individuals more difficult. Again, it's more a about a "team" bonding here and not personal preferences on food choices. Team aspects aren't about individuality.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Maybe I'm naïve, but I don't see how what I eat has anything to do with a "team" mentality. It's not like we'd all become bffs over the fact that we're eating the same crappy catered sandwiches lol.

Choosing something different can be polarizing. What you aren't eating can serve as a powerful reminder to others of what they ARE eating. I see this play out on an ethical level as a vegan -- some people are very alienated by my choice not to eat animal products. And it can also happen on a health level.

Sharing food is powerful. I am not saying you should turn your back on your goals (I don't turn my back on mine), but I don't think it is something that can be dismissed.

Hmm, I can see where that would come into play for sure. It's funny though, because to me it feels more alienating that they're actively choosing not to make people who eat differently uncomfortable.

Ah well, I'll still be there with them at the table with my own lunch so at least I'll physically be there with everyone.

There is perhaps a lack of sensitivity here on the part of your company. We're much more careful about it. When we have events, there's always a fish option on Friday, there's a vegetarian option at every meal, and we have GF and Crohn's friendly special meals on hand for our employees with serious dietary restrictions.

We also have very talented people planning the events, and super nice / accommodating admins that work with us. Maybe come work here? You'd probably like it.

Much nicer than my company, and we are in the healthcare industry. You would think.....

Lol, I believe the healthcare workers tend to be on edge more due to 12 hour shifts! Trust when I tell you that many of my boxing clients are happy to hit the bag after work.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Yeah, my days have been as small as 8 hours, and I've done 24 hours, too. Other than the past few days, since I've had the flu, I enjoy going for a stroll after work, or doing some kinda cardio.

Just never before work. I'm not a morning person, and sometimes, "I can't even" at 0430. Haha.

Hi, if there are food that make you ill I'm guessing you have an intolerance or allergy rather than simply being fussy. If your boss isn't budging on this, perhaps the person who is actually sending through the order would talk to the restaurant about your particular dietary requirements or you could talk to them yourself. Most UK chain restaurants have their menus online and I find it useful to look and select before I go out for a meal as I'm more likely to make a greedy choice in the restaurant! Online many have a nutritional breakdown so you can weigh up the choices.

It's not as simple as choosing a salad as many salads are covered in creamy sauces in restaurants.

My boss is allergic to dairy so whenever we order lunches there's always a lot of care about dietary requirements. (It's not something that gives her a dodgy tummy but that could actually kill her.)

Of my group of friends, one is coeliac, one diabetic, two others are vegetarian and so I'm always conscious of researching menus before we go out for meals. One friend works for a restaurant chain so is always informative about what restaurants are expected to provide in terms of allergy advice etc. The coeliac friend kicked up a fuss somewhere because they didn't have a printed gluten free menu. The restaurant friend pointed out that the bigger chains have to do that now but it is yet to roll out to smaller, independent places. To be fair to the place we were in, the waiter invited my coeliac friend to have a tour of the kitchens, meet the chef and ensure that she was content that there would be no gluten contamination.

I've blabbered on a bit here but the point I want to make is - it should be a treat to have meals paid for and cooked by someone else! So talk to the chef or the restaurant manager - they should be happy and able to prepare you something that meets your needs.

Whatever you decide to do about the food, I would suggest thanking the person who paid for it at the end. I'm pretty sure that person's intent wasn't to torture restricted eaters or send anyone to ER. The intent is most likely well meaning, to do something special employees would enjoy. A little gratitude (for good intentions, kindness) goes a long way.