Holiday turns into negative comments regarding my gym workouts/results. How would you respond?

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  • ArvinSloane
    ArvinSloane Posts: 80 Member
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    "Thank you for your opinion. I'll be sure to give it the consideration it deserves." ::superior smile, change of subject::
  • Bugdude54
    Bugdude54 Posts: 137 Member
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    Tell her that when she dies she'll appreciate the fact you were in the gym when you're required to help carry her casket.
  • DebraJean122
    DebraJean122 Posts: 4 Member
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    Such a typical comment from someone who doesn't know the benefits. Keep up the good work and the + 'tude and you are doing it for yourself.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    1. Throat punch.
    2. Tell her what you do is none of her business.
    3. Tell your husband to deal with her.
    4. Another throat punch.
  • mls100771
    mls100771 Posts: 125 Member
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    Classic hater!

    One of the things you're going to have to come to terms with, is some people just don't "get it".

    Don't overly concern yourself with what people think. Some folks are threatened by people who are trying to do something different and break out of the norm. Mostly because it threatens the delicate structure of their own reality.

    Bottom line is if it feels good, makes you feel good about yourself, and is ultimately has healthful benefits, to hell with the haters!
  • lauracups
    lauracups Posts: 533 Member
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    Go into "Spock" mode. Her negativity is illogical, therefore dismiss it and move along.
  • jmagdalena707
    jmagdalena707 Posts: 28 Member
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    If my MIL was that rude to me about my exercise I would say either "it makes me happy to go and that's reason enough" or "Wow, that a really nasty thing to say"

    It would depend on how gracious I'm feeling at that moment. I think they're both effective at letting her know the comments aren't appreciated. The latter calls her out but would also put her on the defensive so there would be that to deal with.

    On a side note, I'm sorry you have to deal with that kind of negativity. It has nothing to do with you or your results. When people act ugly it's all about their own issues. You have the right, and are worthy of taking care of yourself(through exercise) without justifying it to anyone.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    SingRunTing wrote: »
    "I enjoy working out and its good for me."
    "It's really none of your business."

    After that, this:
    SezxyStef wrote: »
    I wouldn't...it's your mother in law and it's the responsibility of your spouse...their child to respond not yours.

    Mind you when my MIL made a comment that I was too skinny...(keep in mind she and her daughter are obese) and I needed to stop I started doing pull ups in my living room using the trim around the door as my grip and said oh okay.... >:)

  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,908 Member
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    Wow. First of all I wouldn't be talking about going to the gym with my in-laws. They obviously don't "get it" so there is no need to discuss it with them.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,344 Member
    edited April 2015
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    I'd turn the conversation back onto the real problem

    " I think the more immediate issue here is why you have an unnatural need to make others feel bad about trying to do good things for themselves that has nothing to do with you ,this can stem from an insecurity, I would really like to help you become a better more caring person so you don't become a negative influence on my children and the others around you. So let's discuss"

    But say it in a very nice way of course :wink:
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
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    Challenge her to a foot race, and then when she starts running, trip her and laugh.
  • TiberiusClaudis
    TiberiusClaudis Posts: 423 Member
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    As people begin their transformation, the first person to take any notice is one's self. And before anyone sees a change or mentions it, the question is always: Why are you doing it?
    As you progress, people close to you begin to take notice...then people you haven't seen for a while...and as you continue you get to the point where strangers come up to you and comment. The question then becomes: How did you do it?
    Keep trucking...the rewards as you continue are priceless.
  • jessupbrady
    jessupbrady Posts: 508 Member
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    I had a similar experience with my ex-wife's mother. My reply was "It's too difficult for me to change everything I need to at once. This is something I can do right now and I will work on the rest later. At the gym, I've learned how to be a positive role-model to others who are struggling; you should try it sometime."
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    edited April 2015
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    "How is this your business?"

    I would not even humor her by continuing the conversation, she is just 100% out of line. Seriously, your weight loss and fitness goals are you own. It's one thing to be honestly concerned because you are hurting yourself or something, but it did not sound like she had any real groud for butting in and definitely was not contributing anything constructive to the conversation. You are not a child, were never her child, so why is it her business?
  • burnsgene42
    burnsgene42 Posts: 102 Member
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    Sit her down and explain to her respectfully that though you would jump in the fire for her or your spouse that this is your and your spouse's life and you will make your own decisions. That though you really appreciate her advise ,in the end it is your and your spouse's call.
    I put up with a father in law like that for about 25 years until I had "the talk" with him. You don't have to waste that much time.
    Just listen to me and do what I tell you!! (-
  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
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    ccam99 wrote: »
    So yesterday my in-law questioned why I go to the gym since she sees no physical results in my appearance. I work out 3 times a week but have been in a mental rut and have not changed my eating so my appearance has not changed much. I do have an increase in muscle strength and and gaining improvement in my recovery rates. Working my heart and lungs, etc. She thinks it's doing nothing and that I'm only there for the social aspect. I get in and get out so I'm not standing around socializing but I do like the people I work out with or around at the gym and enjoy their company. She still thinks I am wasting my money and was pretty negative regarding my appearance. I told her I am gaining benefits that you can not see outwardly but she wouldn't agree. How would you respond?

    Why do you care what she thinks? If you don't want her to discuss your healthy/fitness, don't discuss it with her. Don't defend or explain yourself. It isn't any of her business, so don't let it be.
  • claram5415
    claram5415 Posts: 512 Member
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    Change the subject or say politely, "I don't want to discuss this with you." Then walk away.
  • Adiemus200
    Adiemus200 Posts: 63 Member
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    That's really rude. From experience people say things like that when they are unable to sick to a diet or even commit to a exercise programme them selves.
  • CeleryStalker
    CeleryStalker Posts: 665 Member
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    Unless she's paying the bill and has something riding on your physical appearance, I'd have told her to mind her own f'ing business and stick her opinions up her butt.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    "Why do I keep going to the gym? It gets me away from you."

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