You aren't always going to get support

Options
13567…11

Replies

  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
    Options
    shadowfax_c11 wrote: »
    I haven't told any of my friends that I am working on weight loss. I really don't need to be under more than one microscope right now. My own is enough for me. Once start having visible results and people bring it up I will gladly tell them but right now I only discuss the subject on this forum.

    I told one or two people but honestly, I agree with you and I've mostly kept it to myself. For one thing, I don't want to be one of those people who's constantly over-sharing on social media or whatnot, because like with travel photos and baby photos, most people don't care that much about other people's weight loss. For another, even if someone did care, I'd end up being subjected to their opinions or diatribes about such-and-such fad diet or such-and-such exercise routine, which I really don't want. Most people are fairly self-centered and like to make everything about them, and right now I need to just focus on me, so I've kept my weight loss talk to this site and that's it.
  • atypicalsmith
    atypicalsmith Posts: 2,742 Member
    Options
    beckajo82 wrote: »
    In most of the threads where people ask for motivation and support, the OP's tell stories that show it's not just that other people in their lives are unsupportive....the people are often actually destructive. Things like significant others telling them that they are fat and ugly, or sabotaging their attempts to change, or ignoring them completely, or telling them that it's stupid to change. It's not that people are lacking in self-motivation or want to be babied...they just want to be acknowledged. There's nothing wrong with that!

    I haven't seen that.
  • earlnabby
    earlnabby Posts: 8,171 Member
    Options
    Even those who are supportive have their limits. I have learned to only mention what is going on to my family when I reach a big milestone. Even then, it is a "guess what? I have now lost 100 lb" and move on to another subject.
  • atypicalsmith
    atypicalsmith Posts: 2,742 Member
    Options
    earlnabby wrote: »
    Even those who are supportive have their limits. I have learned to only mention what is going on to my family when I reach a big milestone. Even then, it is a "guess what? I have now lost 100 lb" and move on to another subject.

    Yes! I find it a lot more fun to lose the weight and see people I haven't seen in a while do a double take on seeing me and asking, "Have you lost weight?" and people who see me regularly not even noticing until I wear something new that I outgrew 15 pounds ago.
  • earlnabby
    earlnabby Posts: 8,171 Member
    Options
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Understand that in my position, I HAVE to be supportive as well as objectively constructive with clients. So I get to hear all the stories about non support from spouses, relatives, best friends, BF's and GF's, etc. I'm sure that sometimes when I get "gifts" from clients, it's their thank you to me for being their supporter and doing it sincerely.
    Of course if they're blowing it, I'm also gonna be their drill sergeant.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png

    That is the right balance!

  • ogmomma2012
    ogmomma2012 Posts: 1,520 Member
    Options
    I don't expect anyone to be supportive. Now that my husband finally gets just how little I can eat (about half as much as he can) he is using the scale to weigh food so that I can put it in the recipe builder. Sure, people say "good job" or "I need to do that too" but it's not like I fish for it, or expect it. I've come this far doing it on my own, people rolling their eyes, HUBBY rolling his eyes when I tell him how small a portion of cheese is or a serving of noodles... And even the people that I -am- trying to be supportive of because they work with me and knew me when I was 262lbs... they just don't have enough determination yet.
  • rocknlotsofrolls
    rocknlotsofrolls Posts: 418 Member
    Options
    In my past experience, most so-called girlfriends would tell me I look great and don't need to lose any weight and crap like that because they didn't want me looking better than them, the jealous hussies! I don't tell anyone that I know personally anymore, because of this. I can do just fine with this support team right here on MFP.
  • luluinca
    luluinca Posts: 2,899 Member
    Options
    Interesting post. I feel as though I'm really on this journey by myself. I may get a few high fives along the way and then a few "don't hurt yourself or loose too much weight", but honestly most of it goes in one ear and out the other.

    My husband has become more attentive for whatever reason, but he's also one of the "don't hurt yourself" groupies. I just tune them all out at this point. If he thinks I look nice then that's a bonus, whether he approves of how I got there or not doesn't matter that much to me.

    Long story short, this is for me!!!
  • atypicalsmith
    atypicalsmith Posts: 2,742 Member
    Options
    beckajo82 wrote: »
    atypicalsmith wrote: »
    beckajo82 wrote: »
    In most of the threads where people ask for motivation and support, the OP's tell stories that show it's not just that other people in their lives are unsupportive....the people are often actually destructive. ...

    I haven't seen that.

    In a random sample of threads where people ask for motivation, the OP's report: that their husband is verbally and physically abusive, especially about weight; they are isolated and stressed at work; that they are angry at themselves; that their husband is making fun of their food choices; that they are shamed for eating a different meal from the rest of the family.

    Maybe you're just avoiding the threads where people talk about these things, and that's fine. You don't have to have empthy for people and no one is required to offer their support to strangers on the internet. But this kind of self-congratulatory thread where people cheer on the telling of a 'harsh truth' is simply mean.

    I have no idea what you are talking about.

Categories