girls who like bad boys.

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  • kenzietea
    kenzietea Posts: 614 Member
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    I used to like 'bad boys'... but it wasn't at all because I was attracted to the 'bad' aspect. 'Bad' boys typically are wonderful charmers. The kinds that say all the right things, do all the right things, pretend to be interested in everything you have to say until they have gotten all they want from you. Then you start to notice who they really are because they start to let their guard slip.

    When it comes to picking men you know are bad, its probably because a lot of us women have the 'fix it' syndrome. We are convinced we can be the ones to change said man, when the truth is- They can only decide to change for themselves.

    A lot of women grow out of it after being used or abused by some of these a-holes, some women are not as lucky. You need to pick a partner based on who they are right then, and not expect any major changes to happen. Its basically the same concept as if you are not attracted to brunettes, but you decide to date one hoping they will dye their hair blonde (although I don't know anyone who does this- because its STUPID-which is my point :P).

    My boyfriend now is a total sweetheart. He would do anything for me and frankly is a complete dork. He loved me when I was thicker, he loves me now as I am getting thinner, and he would never stray. He appreciates and respects me, which is the most amazing quality in a man. I guess I just finally grew out of my 'need to fix' and found someone that was already pretty awesome :) Basically, with a combination of maturity and some harsh life lessons, I think you will grow out of it. Men grow out of being jerks too, at least most of them. If I were you I would focus on YOURSELF right now. Don't worry about dating and allow yourself to mature and figure out what you want in a partner. Its hard not to acquire some baggage from 'bad boy-good girl' relationships, like trust issues etc, so if I were you stay away from men in general.

    Also, a note to men- especially the nice guys:
    NOT all women necessarily like 'bad' boys, but we also don't want you to be too introverted and awkward, either. Its truly difficult finding a balance where there is the right amount of bad (we like bad in areas such as the bedroom), and the right amount a good. We want someone who respects and appreciates us without losing qualities that make him manly. We don't want a push over and we crave the need to feel protected. Try to find your balance, because it is such a rare find... and biology usually wins us over when we pick the bad boy over the toooo good boy because the bad boy fills our biological needs- which history typically shows us biological needs win out almost all of the time over emotional needs. Try to be an emotional fulfiller and still be a man =) Okay, enough said!

    It pretty much has been proven that the womens subconcsious wants a Alpha male, a strong confident man, it has nothing really to do with changing the man as much as it does wanting a man that can be strong and protective, confident, a provider and a nurturer as well as a father that can provide you with children. Only in the last 30-40 years has the psychology shifted toward the idea of "changing or conquering the male and it's Alpha male ego or self worth"

    I said that as well, but as a woman and the reason I made the decisions I made in the past definitely had to do with my own ego. I thought I could be the one to change them. Definitely does not work =) and this particular 'bad boy' I am referring too- wasn't exactly bad in looks- it was his personality. In fact he was really skinny and in that sense was not biologically very masculine- so it definitely wasn't that. It was his complete jerk-off personality that truly swept me off my feet- LOL.
  • kenzietea
    kenzietea Posts: 614 Member
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    no no... not grumpy at all actully. a guy is a guy. as someone else said.. the good guy hurt me worse then any bad boy ever did. men are men. period!

    That is so UNTRUE. That is like say all women are the same; gold digging, cheating, *****y "c" words. I don't believe that for one second as there are good woman and good men out there. It is too bad that you did not find this but they are out there and there are plenty of them.

    Yeah harsh words! My boyfriend is a wonderful man, and I have met other wonderful men. It sucks to have such a jaded perspective. Sorry you have been hurt in the past, but try to not be so bitter and you'd see nice guys everywhere.
  • decu68
    decu68 Posts: 78
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    QUOTED BY milehighcritic:

    Why are motorcycles associated with bad boys? I have been riding since I was 14 years old. I have never been confused for a bad boy. :) LOL.

    I agree, why? And what is considered a bad boy motorcycle? Is it a Harley? Can other manufacturers like Honda, Suzuki, Yamaha, etc. be included in this? Is it just cruisers or can sport bikes be considered a bad boy bike? I ride a 2007 Yamaha YZF-R6; is that bad boy enough for the girls? LOL
  • Bridgidm2000
    Bridgidm2000 Posts: 21
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    Personally, all bikes are fine with me. I grew up with a father who restores motorcycles and even has rare ones that museums beg him for. I hate it when some refers him/herself as a biker but it's just harleys.....a true "biker" sees beauty in all bikes. JMHO
  • clhiter
    clhiter Posts: 74
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    naughtyl not bad......and image of this can be best, gentlemen are necessary for long life
  • FitFrenchGirl
    FitFrenchGirl Posts: 177
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    back in my single days..I like bad boys and I would challenge them, cause watching a bad boy chase after a girl is kinda funny..:laugh: throws off there whole world when a girl doesnt call them or pay attention to them..make the guy want the girl more :bigsmile:
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member
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    Same question as decu68. Why is it only Harley's get the "bad guy" stigma? I've got a Jap sportsbike that's pretty mean and one tattoo and I don't think I fit the "bad boy" image at all haha. Some people just like to actually turn on their bikes as well :P

    Oh and I think it works both ways too. Sometimes guys get attracted to the bad girls even when they know it's not the best in the long run. Some guys will just go with it though?
  • mideon_696
    mideon_696 Posts: 770 Member
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    according to the wife:

    she never wanted a bad boy, but didnt want a "super nice cute guy, who'll do anything anytime" kinda boy either...

    wound up with me...says i fall inbetween...hahahha. for the ultimate ego boost, she told me her friends all considered me to be a "real man"...lol. and they wished they could find someone like that...someone in between. not a bad guy, but not too soft either :)

    Man look at that post haha.

    Wife approves of it :p
  • kenzietea
    kenzietea Posts: 614 Member
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    according to the wife:

    she never wanted a bad boy, but didnt want a "super nice cute guy, who'll do anything anytime" kinda boy either...

    wound up with me...says i fall inbetween...hahahha. for the ultimate ego boost, she told me her friends all considered me to be a "real man"...lol. and they wished they could find someone like that...someone in between. not a bad guy, but not too soft either :)

    Man look at that post haha.

    Wife approves of it :p

    Yep that is what we want. Masculine energy to balance out our feminine energy. At least generally speaking. Push overs are not at all sexy, but neither are extremely controlling. Balance is most desirable :)
  • BellySoonGone
    BellySoonGone Posts: 150
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    Cause nice guys are so booooooooooooooooring

    Why do we like bad boys? Do we like the sweet, cute boy down the street that would do anything for us? No. We like the boy that has the tattoos, a motocycle, and checks out other girls. He doesn’t call for a week, but then when he does… woah, that’s all we need, and we drop the nice, clean-cut boy who's waiting on you hand and foot. You know the one I’m talking about. The one that you have a hot, sexy 3 month, rendezvous with and then all of a sudden he’s dating his ex-girlfriend stripper? Maybe it’s all about attraction. Why cant we be attracted to the nice guy who’s good for us?

    No, seriously I want an answer, not a rhetorical question.
  • irishblonde2011
    irishblonde2011 Posts: 618 Member
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    is there not a saying about "nice guys coming 2nd" ????

    Yes there is, it was created by bad boys who needed to pump themselves up. Being a nice guy, I finished first and always will. I know many nice guys that did so as well. However I know far more "bad guys" that have nothing to show for with either never being married or multiple marriages and/or a failed marriage. I deal with "bad boys" all of the time, guys with attitudes who think the world owes them something, that they are really tough. Trust me, these guys, they cry in cells more then any woman has.

    A douche is a douche. A guy with confidence is not a bad guy, it is a guy confident. Cockiness however I find a little is good, too much is a douche ... and a douche is a douche.

    Totally agree
  • TK266
    TK266 Posts: 3,689 Member
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    maybe this helps explain some of the attraction:

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110525/od_nm/us_smiles_sex

    Brooding men, smiling women seen as sexy?
    Reuters
    By Allan Dowd Allan Dowd – Wed May 25, 12:48 pm ET

    VANCOUVER (Reuters) – Guys, want to look sexy and get the girl? Don't smile too much. Look brooding or show a bit of shame instead. Women, ignore that advice.

    Women find happy men less sexually attractive than those with expressions that show pride or hint that they have done wrong and know it, according to Canadian researchers.

    The study published online Tuesday in the American Psychological Association journal Emotion showed pictures of the opposite sex to both men and women. Participants were then asked for their initial reactions on sexual attractiveness based the expressions they saw.

    "Men who smile were considered fairly unattractive by women," said Jessica Tracy, a University of British Columbia psychology professor who directed the study.

    "So to the extent that men think that smiling is a good thing to do if they want to be found sexually attractive our findings suggest that's not the case," Tracy said.

    The men's reaction was just the opposite.

    "Women who smile are absolutely very attractive. That was by far the most attractive expression women showed," Tracy said in an interview.

    The researchers admit they are not sure why men and women reacted differently to smiles. In a man, a big smile may make him appear too feminine or more desperate for sex.

    The study also adds fuel to the notion that women are attracted to bad boys.

    "Women are attracted to guys like James Dean, Edward the vampire. The guys who are flawed, but who know it and are tortured by it," Tracy said.

    A slightly downcast expression of shame is an appeasement gesture that hints at a need for sympathy.

    Men also found sexual attractiveness in women whose expressions and body language hinted at shame.

    The researchers stressed they looked only at initial reactions of sexual attractiveness, and were not recommending men adopt a no-smile policy for a long-term relationship.

    "When people want a long-term relationship they take much more into account than sexual attractiveness. How nice a person is, is a big thing," Tracy said.

    "So we're not saying, don't be a nice guy," she said.

    (Reporting Allan Dowd; editing by Rob Wilson)

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