We broke up because...
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He was insecure0
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He'd always light my drinks on fire (as I was drinking them!)0
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She liked flaming shots0
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kept ripping brim off baseball caps0
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Didnt like my many friends and got jealous because I spent so much time chattin! ;p0
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Wouldnt let me wax his chest!0
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She never laughed at my jokes0
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Because she would NOT stop singing that Burl Ives song "Silver and Gold" (there's a special place in hell for Rankin and Bass for popularizing that one in '64) ... Normally, here singing around home was delightful, but for this "Silver and Gold" nightmare, she insisted on singing it in Mr. Ives voice, which was just a little creepy. It was like I was with a black-listed Communist, Masonic, crazy woman! Just had to end that... Sorry baby!0
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Didn't brush his teeth.0
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Decided she just wasnt into girls0
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She was too popular with the boys0
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had too many extra girls0
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He thought it was normal to bring his Mama with us on a trip. Goodbye.0
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She was a cat person. I'm more of a dog person0
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he played his music at all hours of the nite0
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She didn't allow me to build a fort with her pillow collection.0
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Used my pillows to build a fort outside in the mud0
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I ate her pizza0
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She ate my pizza0
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And her secret ice cream stash0
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