You aren't always going to get support
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A reality that people need to accept is that you are the only one who really cares about your success. People might say they care, but they really don't. In fact, most people secretly want to see you fail to make themselves feel better about their shortcomings. Maybe your mom cares a little...maybe.
It sounds harsh, but I believe understanding this can actually empower you to reach your goals. Sure, there are great people that will help you on your way. No one is saying that you should just do it all on your own. You just have to realize that if you are doing it to impress someone, you will probably be disappointed. Also, everyone that helps you will want something in return even if they don't explicitly say it. It's part of being a social being.1 -
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+1. As a trainer, I've always had a client say at one time or another, that their SO, relative, parent, etc., "my ______ thinks I'm getting obsessed with this self improvement I'm doing". I'm sure many here have had the same feelings.rjmudlax13 wrote: »A reality that people need to accept is that you are the only one who really cares about your success. People might say they care, but they really don't. In fact, most people secretly want to see you fail to make themselves feel better about their shortcomings. Maybe your mom cares a little...maybe.
It sounds harsh, but I believe understanding this can actually empower you to reach your goals. Sure, there are great people that will help you on your way. No one is saying that you should just do it all on your own. You just have to realize that if you are doing it to impress someone, you will probably be disappointed. Also, everyone that helps you will want something in return even if they don't explicitly say it. It's part of being a social being.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Recently had a client have an argument with her husband (who frequently runs in SF and then goes to the bar afterward according to her), that although she's getting is great shape, losing weight and getting "hot" again, that our once a week training is too much for her to spend. She spends about $50 a session.
What's the going rate for 3 mixed drinks 3 times a week?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 1 -
Recently had a client have an argument with her husband (who frequently runs in SF and then goes to the bar afterward according to her), that although she's getting is great shape, losing weight and getting "hot" again, that our once a week training is too much for her to spend. She spends about $50 a session.
What's the going rate for 3 mixed drinks 3 times a week?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Ooooohhhh, marriage problems.
RUN.
At least when I have to give up on my trainer, it's going to be because of my kid's braces.
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Lol, we got that coming up too. Couple of teeth have to be pulled so that canines can come down.mamapeach910 wrote: »Recently had a client have an argument with her husband (who frequently runs in SF and then goes to the bar afterward according to her), that although she's getting is great shape, losing weight and getting "hot" again, that our once a week training is too much for her to spend. She spends about $50 a session.
What's the going rate for 3 mixed drinks 3 times a week?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Ooooohhhh, marriage problems.
RUN.
At least when I have to give up on my trainer, it's going to be because of my kid's braces.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition[/quote]
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Maybe you can't count on others to 'do it for you' but it is nice to feel supported and recognized for your efforts and for some one to notice when you are in a bad spot and say hey we will get through this together! I like that, it actually pulled me back into mfp when I got a notification from someone saying where are you we miss you! So that I get whe people ask to have a cheerleader or some support in that way.
I know its a inside job though but its nice to have an up comment on a bad day or someone with tips to get out of a motivation rut.2 -
No doubt. Initially the OP is about letting others know that they shouldn't be phased if they don't get support from people whom they love, trust and befriend. That regardless of it, that it shouldn't be the determining factor on whether or not they give up on themselves or their attempt at weight loss.angelexperiment wrote: »Maybe you can't count on others to 'do it for you' but it is nice to feel supported and recognized for your efforts and for some one to notice when you are in a bad spot and say hey we will get through this together! I like that, it actually pulled me back into mfp when I got a notification from someone saying where are you we miss you! So that I get whe people ask to have a cheerleader or some support in that way.
I know its a inside job though but its nice to have an up comment on a bad day or someone with tips to get out of a motivation rut.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition[/quote]
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Have a good weekend and great advice sometimes we have to encourage ourselves no one wants it more than you do!! Thank u ☺
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O I got that. I don't get that at home but its morereason for me to press on eeventually things get noticed. It is hard though when you want that support but need to do it on your own. Or worse they make it harder for you by fighting with you bc you want to eat healthy or go workout but have to have that thing in you not to give up despite the hardships. It is really hard.1
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The one thing that most successful people have in common is the relentless pursuit of completion. Regardless of obstacles and deterrences standing in their way, they still find a way to get to goal. It takes time to learn it, but once someone gets it, sky's the limit.angelexperiment wrote: »O I got that. I don't get that at home but its morereason for me to press on eeventually things get noticed. It is hard though when you want that support but need to do it on your own. Or worse they make it harder for you by fighting with you bc you want to eat healthy or go workout but have to have that thing in you not to give up despite the hardships. It is really hard.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition[/quote]
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My mom is the most supportive of my weight loss efforts. My fiancé supports me but he doesn't really know what I'm talking about when I talk about cico or any of that stuff. He probably gets tired of hearing about it. Oh well, I'm doing this for me and I'm okay with other people not cheering me on. I told him as long as he doesn't say anything negative about it I'm fine. He made a comment the other day about how "jiggly" I used to be, and I told him "no matter how much I lose to please dont make fun of how I used to look. Even if I don't look like that anymore it is still offensive." He seemed to understand and hasn't made anymore comments about it.3
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forgtmenot wrote: »He made a comment the other day about how "jiggly" I used to be, and I told him "no matter how much I lose to please dont make fun of how I used to look. Even if I don't look like that anymore it is still offensive." He seemed to understand and hasn't made anymore comments about it.
Good for you. There's no cause to fat-shame anyone, especially if that someone happens to be the former you.0 -
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I have one weight loss journey buddy & other than that I zip my lips! This has to be an inner process, and it has to rely more on routines and rhythms than inspiration/motivation because that will change from day to day.1
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Winners don't wait to see who's coming with them. Go for your goals and let others follow you if they want. Set the example. Be the leader.0
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My husband told me to stop talking about it the other day. Apparently I'm obsessed (I'm not) and it's all I ever talk about. I told him it's not an obsession it's a passion.
It's OK though I'll just talk to my fitness friends about it and when he starts talking and talking about his likes I can tell him very bluntly that I don't want to hear it because it bores me too.1 -
I was kind of irritated at first when I saw this post, because it was right after posting my own thread for support / advice... but... yeah, you're completely right. I have known for a long, long time that the only one I can count on to do this is me. If other people I care about want to cheer me on or offer kind words, that's just a bonus - even though I always used to take compliments with a grain of salt, because in the back of my mind I felt like the only opinion I should care about is my own. And I don't know why I sometimes feel like I should be able to ask for help, because when other people have asked me to "help motivate" them, I always think, "How the hell do you expect me to do that?" lol...
I'm feeling a lot more optimistic about coming back today, though, and already got a great workout in.
Thanks again for being honest, as always. It really helps me at times to get that truth. 2
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