Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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smashley_mashley wrote: »overlook237 wrote: »overlook237 wrote: »I don't know why I'm suddenly having such a hard time staying on track lately. I don't even remember it being this hard when I first started and had tons of bad habits to break and zero fitness level. WTF?! I haven't had any days that were 100% awful - I've kept up with my exercising and I'd say about 75% of my eating has still been fairly healthy. But I keep screwing up, and I hate that.
Like yesterday: I was hungry while I exercised (walking) and instead of ignoring it like I should've, I actually ate a bunch of Chex mix while I was walking. Talk about defeating the purpose (and I obviously wasn't pushing myself hard enough if I could stuff my face while walking either). What a waste.
I weighed myself yesterday morning and I'm up 3 pounds and at the same weight I was in the beginning of May. Might be water weight; might not. Regardless, it's like any of the work I've done these past few weeks was for nothing because of all the screw-ups. I just wish I could tap into some of the motivation I've had in the past and push through this. I don't know if it's because I'm burnt out or if I'm letting my emotions of late (stressed and depressed about being unemployed) take over where food is concerned. But I'm really tired of feeling like this.
Not for nothing! Think how much you might be up if you weren't getting it right 75% of the time plus still exercising! It's easy to completely give up, but you're hanging in there. Just focus on one day at a time.
And please explain to me how you were walking around with a pocketful of Chex mix?!
I love that, haha. Reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite.
That made me laugh for like five minutes, and I really needed it - thank you!
And to explain: I walk in my basement and we have a pantry down there. It was pretty easy to grab the bag and get right back to my walking. But walking around with a pocket full of Chex mix on a daily basis doesn't sound like a bad idea actually smashley_mashley wrote: »My confession for today: I have plans to go shopping to buy some summer clothes. I need a few pairs of capris and a few shirts to go with them but I have no motivation to do anything. Hubby and I have just the one vehicle and normally it isn't a problem since I am usually at work during the day and he uses it for his job. But today, I just want the truck and I just want to drive. I don't want to walk to the bus stop, wait for buses, sit on trains, or do any of that. I also want to go to the store to pick up groceries for dinner but again, don't even feel like walking there even though walking is the only exercise I can do right now. I thought about buying online but I really hate buying clothes w/o trying them on.
I also need to pull my dandelions, just because they are dandelions and they must all die. Normally that would give me some satisfaction (DIE DANDELIONS DIE!!!) but all I want to do is be lazy - but then I feel guilty for being lazy.
Maybe I will just watch a movie...
Yes, yes they must! They're worse than ever this year. I'm embarrassed to say that my neighbor caught me standing outside shouting, "Get off my lawn!" at the weeds like a crazy person, LOL! I just came back in from outside after nearly 2 hours of weed pulling, and it was very cathartic.
our city administration has decided that they are no longer considered a "noxious weed" and don't kill them anymore. There is more yellow than grass. They are such an eyesore.
My whole yard is being overtaken with them so I've suggested that we all just give up and decide that dandelions will now be our lawns. We can all have nice yards of yellow.
Plus, you can eat the dandelion greens as a salad! Of course, that's only if they haven't been sprayed with pesticides or "visited" by a pet or other animal.0 -
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xMrBunglex wrote: »Wow, 100 new posts! You guys be crazy...
Today's confession: It REALLY p*sses me off that you can't outwork a bad diet.
The last month, I've been logging everything as usual, breakfast, lunches & snacks have been on point, but after analyzing the data, noticed my avg cals per day have been quite a bit higher. Exercise burn has been at its usual levels, avg about 550 cals a day. I usually net about 11-1200 cals per day after exercise, but this last month it's been more like 1700. And not good calories either, a lot of crap at home after work. Chips, cake, cookies. Bad habit creeping back in, getting complacent, I've figured this out for years, blah blah blah.
End result? a 5 lb gain for May.
The fire has been lit.
Umm, yeah, me too. I "officially" weigh and measure on the 1st so I won't say yet how much I've gained in May but I gained a pound in April too. The only other month I've gained since I started MFP in Feb 2014 was December. I have been consistent with exercise but my eating has sucked. But! I am determined to put a stop to it.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »So my NSV for today. I got stuck waiting for a flight for 3 hours on a delay. Instead of eating crap and drinking like I normally would, I walked the length of terminal c at Newark for nearly 2 hours. Earned the Jamba Juice I ended up getting... And which I only chose to get a small. Which is an NSV in itself.
That is excellent!0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »My confession...I love sweets. Yeah, not unique I know. Earlier this week I ate 1/4 of a Boston cream cake and then a few hours late had a bowl of cookie crisp cereal. Must get these things OUT of my HOUSE. You know, without eating them first. lol
Do you have any neighbors or friends that you could give some of the cake too? You could do what I do & whatever I don't like or don't want anymore of I will put it in the break room at work.
You could also drown it in water like the person did with the PB jar... or take it to work with a sticky that says "help yourself" if you don't want to waste it.
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My cellphone decided to do a Peter Pan off my bicycle cell phone mount today. Landed face down in front of my tire and I ran over it. End result = cracked screen. So maaaad right now.
I'm behind on this thread this morning, so I'm sure someone else already suggested it, but around here we have local repair places that will replace the screen for you. Maybe you can do something like that?0 -
KevinPsalm23v4 wrote: »I've been UNSUCCESSFUL in weight loss because of bad habits that seem too difficult to change. I eat when I am not hungry and eat based on emotional comfort vs eating because I need to. Far too often I may get up in the middle of the night, feeling hungry I'll eat a peanut butter and orange marmalade sandwich or something else.
I looked at myself the other day and felt disgusted in how I look. For too many months I felt too apathetic to change <I won't say why publicly - only privately and in limited capacity as to why>. The other day it shocked me to feel I am the "fattest" at home, get called fat and even know I am the fattest among co-workers.
What I am scared of most is failing, not loosing weight and my willpower only lasting a few days.
It may seem overwhelming at first, but tackle one habit at a time. Once you see that you CAN change bad habits and create new ones and be successful you will build momentum. Identifying that you are an emotional eater is the first step. Now to replace the reaction to eat with something else. Anything else. Healthy, of course. If it's the middle of the night I'm pretty sure going for a walk isn't a good idea, so maybe read something. Turning on the TV can be a food trigger, plus it could interrupt your sleep pattern. I'd have a drink of water, acknowledge that you don't really need fuel and try to go back to sleep.
NO ONE should call you fat and get away with it. Shut those people down. Unacceptable. Don't compare yourself to others, either. You are an individual. We are all different.
We are all scared of failure to some degree. Accept that you will have good days and bad, but bad days are not failures. They are just a bump or turn in the road. Stay on the road! It will take you down the right path. Also, don't rely on willpower. That is a recipe for failure. Make a plan, do it, and don't attach emotions to it. Welcome to this thread and keep posting!
THIS is why you're a favorite in this thread!
Thank you! That means a lot to me.0 -
AngryViking1970 wrote: »
Oh my.
I've never been a physique inspiration to anyone, ever, in my life before. That's very touching.
I have a mental image of BZAH10's avatar in my head the whole time I do the workout.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Then you'll love this one: A few weeks ago, I was sitting on my exercise bike and I had my 7-inch tablet balanced on top of a little pocket (made for holding an iPod, so my tab wouldn't fit inside it) so I could watch Phineas and Ferb while exercising (I'm very mature, I know). I was putting on my earphones and accidentally jerked the wire. Result: The tab came flying towards my face, then went down and slammed into the frame of the exercise bike, bounced off like a rubber ball, flew two feet, and CRASHED into the floor.
It looks like spiders built webs all over the screen now.
Oh no! Sorry about your tablet, but I always watch cartoons! One of the gyms I used to go to had shared TVs for all the cardio machines and no dedicated child area, so I was secretly happy when one of the guys used to bring in his little boy and turn on cartoons for him. That was the TV I then watched, too!0 -
Sheesh. You all have been busy today. Lots of good stuff and some newbies.
I went to the doctor to discover what I had feared. Strep. I wanted a few more days off work but not like this. I used my last PTO day today so tomorrow I have to use a vacation day. Sucks! My mom took me to the doctor and now she's cleaning my house. It's really nice being taken care of.
Sorry you are sick but enjoy being taken care of! Definitely a rare occurrence for most of us.0 -
smashley_mashley wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »
I really enjoy flying normally. All the walking past other gates and I want to say screw DC I want to go to Paris, Madrid, Brussles, Italy, etc.
I'd love to go to DC - so much history there. But I would also love to go see Madrid, Brussles, Italy, (go back to Paris). One day, I will take 2 months off work and hubby and I are going to to to Europe and see everything we possibly can see. He hates flying (planes are just not big enough for a 7'2" frame - even the bulk head and emergency rows are tough) as he has a anxiety, control issues, and a bit of claustrophobia. Which is why we would have to fly once to Europe (there and back) and take the train for all the countries in between.
Sans commuter traffic, DC is awesome. I live about 90min south but used to visit all the time. About to start visiting again now my daughter is almost 10.
DC is a great city! I've been living in the area for about 6 years (just across the city line a few years ago, but still work downtown) and really love it. But Europe is still my favorite - if I could find a job I would move back in a heartbeat! Doesn't really matter where... Italy has my heart, but I'd try London or Brussels or Madrid or even Oslo given the chance! Luckily my fiance shares my love of living abroad, someday we'll find a way to make it work.
Edited bc I messed up the quotes0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: Recently, as an attempt at portion control, I tried to make one of those "Microwave Peanut Butter Cookie in a Mug" recipes that I saw on YouTube instead of making a whole tray of cookies and risking eating them all. It was awful and sad and doesn't deserve the name "cookie". *sniffle*
SO, today, I wanted peanut butter cookies (I always want peanut butter cookies), but I didn't have enough of any ingredient to make a tray of cookies. So I made the recipe for the microwave cookie, topped it with a bit of whipped cream, and ate the dough raw. Delicious!
If you want the baked cookies next time, make the dough for a full batch, roll it up like slice and bake cookies, then freeze it, and only slice off enough to bake a few at a time as you go.
I've tried that. I just don't have the self control--When I have cookie dough in my freezer, it gets pulled out and baked or eaten raw. *blush*
I'm a few pages behind but I'm in the same boat. I will eat any cookie dough in the house until it's gone. And peanut butter cookie dough. YUM. Sugar cookie dough. OMG. Okay...any cookie dough. I have a problem, lol. Funny thing is, I don't like baked cookies. I feel like they lose something as they bake, lol. As a result I refuse to purchase any of it and I don't keep it in my house. I do not do well with the 'eat in moderation' people...I have to not see it, at all, lol.0 -
Food-related confession: I'm completely fed up with long pasta like spaghetti and linguine. Manual dexterity isn't my strong suit and I get so bored with twirling it into a manageable forkful, which seems to take me an extraordinary length of time, and I end up losing most of the sauce in the process so all I taste is the noodle. And there is usually some trailing end that I can't manage to train onto the fork that thwaps me in the chin anyway. I gave up ordering these types of noodles in restaurants long ago since I can't manage to eat them gracefully.
We had some leftover meat sauce and the SO made it with linguine last night (which obviously prompted this confession!). After the first couple of mouthfuls, I decided "screw it" and started hacking it up into smaller pieces with my knife. What the hell, I was in the privacy of my own home, who cares if I commit Pasta Sacrilege?
I break mine in half when cooking, so shorter pieces!!
Me too. I honestly didn't know there was such a thing as Pasta Sacrilege.0 -
My confession...I love sweets. Yeah, not unique I know. Earlier this week I ate 1/4 of a Boston cream cake and then a few hours late had a bowl of cookie crisp cereal. Must get these things OUT of my HOUSE. You know, without eating them first. lol
Sweets a big problem for me too. Not sure if it's the sugar, the taste, the yummy-ness. I have no moderation when it comes to sweets, mostly baked/bakery goods.0 -
My Husband and I ordered pizza after only the 2nd week of our diet and I nearly ate the whole thincrust pizza by myself.
The next day there was leftovers, so to keep myself from eating it, I literally opened my back door and tossed it out into the compost.
Not to brag.. But we're doing way better now, and only 5wks of logs I've lost 13lbs.
And I'm back on my veggies only rabbit food diet.
I still love veggie pizza and when I reach my goals it's going to be my first cheat food. Maybe homemade though.0 -
Sadly, I confess...if I ever were to get divorced, though I like to think different, I would probably be "that older guy" that hooks up with someone younger...then feel all creepy about it.
Depends on how big of an age difference it is. I met my current husband when I was 28 and he was 38. We had both just divorced our first spouses the year before. The vast majority of his family and friends were convinced he was having a mid-life crisis. Been some ups and downs, but 15 years later we're still together.0 -
I have read so many of these, figured I should contribute...
My confession is, I hate my body. I just had my third child 2 months ago and I have refused to look at myself in the mirror. When I joined MFP 3 years ago I had lost 70 lbs. I have gained it all back and then some. I feel like a failure and its really eating me up inside. My husband is so sweet and understanding and I feel like I am pushing him away because I am so unhappy with myself. It makes me sad that my self worth totally depends on the number on the scale.
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I unfriended you in my mind for like 2.6 seconds. Punishment served.
pofoster21 wrote: »
Thankssmashley_mashley wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »I confess that I love being on airplanes. There is just truly amazing to me about it. I always want the window seat so I can stare out the window. My favorite time on a plane was when I left early in the morning, while it was dark and the full moon and stars were out. So breathtakingly beautiful.
My brother got to fly a jet at his military academy and I am extremely jealous, though I would probably be nervous if I were ever actually given the chance to fly one. This jealousy partially comes from admiring and adoring astronauts and knowing that most of them were pilots before moving on to outer space. I would love to be an astronaut, but I don't think I'm cut out for the job.
Chris Hadfield's book, An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth, is amazing!
And I am the opposite. I detest flying. I get physically sick, so flights aren't fun for me. I'm getting better, but there have been times where I've made it through without vomiting, only to collapse once I made it into the terminal. It's not due to anxiety, I actually think it's an inner ear thing - driving in a car with the windows down can cause the same kind of nausea, depending on how the wind hits the vehicle. This is part of the reason I don't travel much. It's hard to be excited about a trip knowing I have to fly. And sometimes the flights are so bad it takes me 3 or 4 days to recover (just in time to come back home). And I have to get on a plane on Sunday
I will agree on the window seat - but for me it's so I can fall asleep and not be disturbed by people needing to get by lol.
I really enjoy flying normally. All the walking past other gates and I want to say screw DC I want to go to Paris, Madrid, Brussles, Italy, etc.
I'd love to go to DC - so much history there. But I would also love to go see Madrid, Brussles, Italy, (go back to Paris). One day, I will take 2 months off work and hubby and I are going to to to Europe and see everything we possibly can see. He hates flying (planes are just not big enough for a 7'2" frame - even the bulk head and emergency rows are tough) as he has a anxiety, control issues, and a bit of claustrophobia. Which is why we would have to fly once to Europe (there and back) and take the train for all the countries in between.
Sans commuter traffic, DC is awesome. I live about 90min south but used to visit all the time. About to start visiting again now my daughter is almost 10.mysticlizard wrote: »
I had a case on it and it would have been ok had I not ran it over in the process. lol
How old was the case? There's a chance you can contact the company and Otter Box may replace it or give you a discount. They're pretty good about that.0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »mysticlizard wrote: »I'm very pale like a bunch of you have said you are. I used to try tanning, but it didn't take. I've never had a tan or a sunburn in my life. I finally stopped trying and embraced my day walker skin. I sometimes get embarrassed by it, but I figure if people don't like it screw them. Being able to blind people with the color of my skin is a super power!
My daughter shares your super power. In our house we call it rockin' the Casper.
I'm also very pale & once had a co-worker comment on how white I was after coming back from Hawaii for the second time. The first time I went to Hawaii I had learned my lesson the hard way. Over there the heat is very dry & I thought well it's not as hot & humid like it is in Pennsylvania so I don't need to cake on the sunblock. Ugh! Huge mistake! I had huge welts all over my one arm from a horrendous sunburn. Luckily they didn't hurt, but it definitely taught me to be more vigilant while out in the sun.
I'm pale but by choice- I can tan really easily but I'm super OCD about having sunblock on anytime I'm outside! I'm terrified of wrinkles and skin cancer
You are very smart! (say the hypocrite tanning addict) I gave it up several years ago, but started again this past March. I love it! But I seriously need to stop.0 -
Confession: Between full-time work, full-time school, and all the in-law health stuff, I'm approaching rock bottom energy levels. I simply do not have anything left to pull from the tank.
Which naturally only makes me feel totally guilty.
Also, I have a huge (non-school) certification exam next Saturday and I am woefully underprepared because of everything else going on. Depending on how the next 8 days go, I will not be all that surprised if I fail it. So it goes.0 -
TigerNY128 wrote: »I am also pale and never tan! I just had to chime in and encourage all of the other fair skinned people to get checked by a dermatologist! Especially if you've had bad sunburns! Four years ago, at 27 years old, I noticed a tiny black dot on my arm. I went to the dermatologist and it was melanoma. My doctor said it would have been fatal in 5 years. Luckily it was caught early, and although I'm left with an ugly scar, it could have been much worse. I'm 31 now and religiously put on sunscreen every day and see my dermatologist twice a year. I don't want to scare anyone, just want everyone to be safe and healthy!!
Thank you and I agree with you. I confessed just prior to this to being a tanning addict. I DO go to a dermatologist once a year to get checked out. Sorry for your experience.0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »mysticlizard wrote: »I'm very pale like a bunch of you have said you are. I used to try tanning, but it didn't take. I've never had a tan or a sunburn in my life. I finally stopped trying and embraced my day walker skin. I sometimes get embarrassed by it, but I figure if people don't like it screw them. Being able to blind people with the color of my skin is a super power!
My daughter shares your super power. In our house we call it rockin' the Casper.
I'm also very pale & once had a co-worker comment on how white I was after coming back from Hawaii for the second time. The first time I went to Hawaii I had learned my lesson the hard way. Over there the heat is very dry & I thought well it's not as hot & humid like it is in Pennsylvania so I don't need to cake on the sunblock. Ugh! Huge mistake! I had huge welts all over my one arm from a horrendous sunburn. Luckily they didn't hurt, but it definitely taught me to be more vigilant while out in the sun.
I'm pale but by choice- I can tan really easily but I'm super OCD about having sunblock on anytime I'm outside! I'm terrified of wrinkles and skin cancer
You are very smart! (say the hypocrite tanning addict) I gave it up several years ago, but started again this past March. I love it! But I seriously need to stop.
My best friend had melanoma when we were in our early twenties and I've been watching my mom deal with all the consequences of being a sun bathing beauty her whole life! So just trying to avoid all of that 0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »mysticlizard wrote: »I'm very pale like a bunch of you have said you are. I used to try tanning, but it didn't take. I've never had a tan or a sunburn in my life. I finally stopped trying and embraced my day walker skin. I sometimes get embarrassed by it, but I figure if people don't like it screw them. Being able to blind people with the color of my skin is a super power!
My daughter shares your super power. In our house we call it rockin' the Casper.
I'm also very pale & once had a co-worker comment on how white I was after coming back from Hawaii for the second time. The first time I went to Hawaii I had learned my lesson the hard way. Over there the heat is very dry & I thought well it's not as hot & humid like it is in Pennsylvania so I don't need to cake on the sunblock. Ugh! Huge mistake! I had huge welts all over my one arm from a horrendous sunburn. Luckily they didn't hurt, but it definitely taught me to be more vigilant while out in the sun.
I'm pale but by choice- I can tan really easily but I'm super OCD about having sunblock on anytime I'm outside! I'm terrified of wrinkles and skin cancer
You are very smart! (say the hypocrite tanning addict) I gave it up several years ago, but started again this past March. I love it! But I seriously need to stop.
My best friend had melanoma when we were in our early twenties and I've been watching my mom deal with all the consequences of being a sun bathing beauty her whole life! So just trying to avoid all of that 0 -
Okay so I know this is silly but I have no idea what NSV means0
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My husband was hospitalized and I ate Wendy's even though I really wasn't hungry because I am stressed out.0
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Six or so weeks ago I mentioned my daughter and a potential ED. The follow up (first follow up) and nutritionist meeting were yesterday. She's gained a few lbs and that is what the doctor wanted. The nutritionist gave her some good information and what I like is that the nutritionist told her not to count calories or even think about it but to eat in a way (I don't remember the diagram but about 50% non starchy veggies, 25% fat/protein and 25% unprocessed grains/starchy veggies and this 25% is by the portion of food on the plate.) My daughter tried it for a meal yesterday and said it seemed to work, she didn't over eat and was satisfied. We also both have food intolerances. It appears my daughter is getting some cross contamination of wheat/gluten at her dad's house. She needs to be very careful in reading labels and such. She also *may* have a legitimate allergy to another food and may need to carry an epi pen. The blood work is at the lab. Nutritionist is also wanting daughter to keep a journal of what foods are eaten and results (mood/bloat/energy/etc) without any judgement, just curiosity.
While she was going through this process of relearning to listen to her body (still in process) and be ok with putting on a pound or two of weight I didn't log. I just tried listening to my body etc. I did have a few big food days (holiday) but I'm holding steady on the weight I've lost. As I am within 4 - 5 pounds of my goal and as I am at a healthy weight I am happy with even a very slow downward trend - a pound every month or two is fine. Daughter is traveling for a little while so I'm logging again and may be more careful to maintain a deficit.
Edited to take out a few details.
Thanks for the update and I'm glad to hear you both are making positive progress. Keep us informed!0 -
ikkin32dvs wrote: »My husband was hospitalized and I ate Wendy's even though I really wasn't hungry because I am stressed out.
Oh, I hope that your husband is ok! Sending prayers your way. Be kind to yourself, stressful situations like this are hard enough without beating yourself up about something little like a meal at Wendy's!0 -
TigerNY128 wrote: »I am also pale and never tan! I just had to chime in and encourage all of the other fair skinned people to get checked by a dermatologist! Especially if you've had bad sunburns! Four years ago, at 27 years old, I noticed a tiny black dot on my arm. I went to the dermatologist and it was melanoma. My doctor said it would have been fatal in 5 years. Luckily it was caught early, and although I'm left with an ugly scar, it could have been much worse. I'm 31 now and religiously put on sunscreen every day and see my dermatologist twice a year. I don't want to scare anyone, just want everyone to be safe and healthy!!
Fair skinned here. I actually just found a new mole and was thinking about calling the doctor to get it checked out. Your advice just made up my mind, I'm calling today.
Great, that makes me happy!! Good for you!
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I can't wait to go home for the holidays and rub it in peoples face that I am not thinner than them. All the horrible comments they made about my weight will be thrown back at them without me having to say a word. Those that thought themselves thinner than me are now over twice my weight? Oh how the tables have turned!!
Nice! Enjoy the satisfaction - you deserve it!0
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