Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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krissyreminisce wrote: »Confession: I"m thinking of taking a break from logging and just being active and mindful of my eating. I'm just tired of always thinking about food and worrying about food. I'm just tired of agonizing over every little stupid calorie.
I hope it works. I've actually starting to lose steam for MFP. I only come to this thread and the Ice Cream/Gelato group page. I was active on the other forums and reading the blog, now I just don't even want to bother.
I've thought about doing that too. I lost 50lbs on my own before I ever found MFP. I know weighing and logging food is a helpful tool and it works (when you stick to it) but I find myself getting more and more obsessed with it again. Going over my calories leaves me feeling like a failure, which sometimes leads to binging because of the "I blew it" mentality. So then I feel bad that I ate, so I eat some more because I feel bad or like a failure, then again I eat some more and feel bad about that, repeat cycle. I want to lose weight and be happy and healthy, not see my life as being in the RED or the GREEN and hopefully get to a place where some number on a stupid scale doesn't matter. I feel like I need to fix the emotional me and hopefully the physical me will fall into place too.
For me, this is what finally worked. Not easy, but definitely worth it. I also don't weigh my food or log it here because I'm pretty sure I'd get too caught up in the numbers. I eat intuitively and it works for me. You can do it!0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »
Ahhh thank you! Would never have guessed that one haha0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »Feeling like crap today. I had a bad night of emotional eating..estimated 2000 calories over my goal ( I tend to not measure/weigh foods when I binge). I've done way worse..some days up to 5000 over! Anyway, I woke up today with an extra 3 pounds of water weight. Still did my workout though..running 8 miles with that bloated feeling is NOT FUN, but I did it. I knew I had a binge coming on at some point because tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of my mom's death. Since that day last year, I have become a completely different person..I can't accept it, can't move on, can't find peace. I've become angry over little things and find comfort in eating. I gained 12 pounds because of it...would have been much worse if I didn't work out every day to counteract all the emotional eating/binges. I've been pretty good over the past two months..losing six of those extra pounds. I just need to get through today and tomorrow and really focus on finding a different way to deal with my emotions. I already feel like I'm going to give in again today though.
Ugh! Sorry to be a downer.
No need to apologize - that is what this thread is for! I'm very sorry for your loss. Grief is a long, difficult process. Any option of seeing a grief counselor or specialist? I'm sure it has been an incredibly long year, but in the big picture, a year is much TOO short of a time to expect to "get over it". You never get over it. You just learn to live with the pain.
Feel free to vent more here instead of eating - we're all here to listen.0 -
TigerNY128 wrote: »I am also pale and never tan! I just had to chime in and encourage all of the other fair skinned people to get checked by a dermatologist! Especially if you've had bad sunburns! Four years ago, at 27 years old, I noticed a tiny black dot on my arm. I went to the dermatologist and it was melanoma. My doctor said it would have been fatal in 5 years. Luckily it was caught early, and although I'm left with an ugly scar, it could have been much worse. I'm 31 now and religiously put on sunscreen every day and see my dermatologist twice a year. I don't want to scare anyone, just want everyone to be safe and healthy!!
That's certainly excellent advice, particularly considering the benchmarks I've always read for "suspicious" skin growths say "larger than a pencil eraser" and yours doesn't sound like it was.
I've been OCD about wearing sunscreen on my face 365 days a year for a few decades, and spf 50 or 60 on all exposed skin in the summer (okay, it's not like I have any exposed skin here in winter, lol) for about the past 10 years. I get really excited when I find the super high numbers like spf 80 or 100 in stores.
I do hate the way sunscreen looks on my skin, though. It seems like the only options are shiny/greasy or dry/chalky. I'm wearing a black linen crop jacket today that has white sunscreen rub-off smears on it already. I used to love one of the Banana Boat formulas for kids that promised "sand won't stick", it was great for gardening... of course they discontinued it.
TigerNY128 wrote: »I am also pale and never tan! I just had to chime in and encourage all of the other fair skinned people to get checked by a dermatologist! Especially if you've had bad sunburns! Four years ago, at 27 years old, I noticed a tiny black dot on my arm. I went to the dermatologist and it was melanoma. My doctor said it would have been fatal in 5 years. Luckily it was caught early, and although I'm left with an ugly scar, it could have been much worse. I'm 31 now and religiously put on sunscreen every day and see my dermatologist twice a year. I don't want to scare anyone, just want everyone to be safe and healthy!!
That's certainly excellent advice, particularly considering the benchmarks I've always read for "suspicious" skin growths say "larger than a pencil eraser" and yours doesn't sound like it was.
I've been OCD about wearing sunscreen on my face 365 days a year for a few decades, and spf 50 or 60 on all exposed skin in the summer (okay, it's not like I have any exposed skin here in winter, lol) for about the past 10 years. I get really excited when I find the super high numbers like spf 80 or 100 in stores.
I do hate the way sunscreen looks on my skin, though. It seems like the only options are shiny/greasy or dry/chalky. I'm wearing a black linen crop jacket today that has white sunscreen rub-off smears on it already. I used to love one of the Banana Boat formulas for kids that promised "sand won't stick", it was great for gardening... of course they discontinued it.
Yep, my melanoma looked like a dot you make with a Sharpie marker. It wasn't raised and was very tiny. I'm honestly surprised I noticed it.
My favorite sunscreen is Neutrogena Sheer. It doesn't feel greasy...the spray and the lotion are great.0 -
Six or so weeks ago I mentioned my daughter and a potential ED. The follow up (first follow up) and nutritionist meeting were yesterday. She's gained a few lbs and that is what the doctor wanted. The nutritionist gave her some good information and what I like is that the nutritionist told her not to count calories or even think about it but to eat in a way (I don't remember the diagram but about 50% non starchy veggies, 25% fat/protein and 25% unprocessed grains/starchy veggies and this 25% is by the portion of food on the plate.) My daughter tried it for a meal yesterday and said it seemed to work, she didn't over eat and was satisfied. We also both have food intolerances. It appears my daughter is getting some cross contamination of wheat/gluten at her dad's house. She needs to be very careful in reading labels and such. She also *may* have a legitimate allergy to another food and may need to carry an epi pen. The blood work is at the lab. Nutritionist is also wanting daughter to keep a journal of what foods are eaten and results (mood/bloat/energy/etc) without any judgement, just curiosity.
While she was going through this process of relearning to listen to her body (still in process) and be ok with putting on a pound or two of weight I didn't log. I just tried listening to my body etc. I did have a few big food days (holiday) but I'm holding steady on the weight I've lost. As I am within 4 - 5 pounds of my goal and as I am at a healthy weight I am happy with even a very slow downward trend - a pound every month or two is fine. Daughter is traveling for a little while so I'm logging again and may be more careful to maintain a deficit.
Edited to take out a few details.
Glad your daughter is doing well and that she is getting helpful information!0 -
TigerNY128 wrote: »I am also pale and never tan! I just had to chime in and encourage all of the other fair skinned people to get checked by a dermatologist! Especially if you've had bad sunburns! Four years ago, at 27 years old, I noticed a tiny black dot on my arm. I went to the dermatologist and it was melanoma. My doctor said it would have been fatal in 5 years. Luckily it was caught early, and although I'm left with an ugly scar, it could have been much worse. I'm 31 now and religiously put on sunscreen every day and see my dermatologist twice a year. I don't want to scare anyone, just want everyone to be safe and healthy!!
Thank you and I agree with you. I confessed just prior to this to being a tanning addict. I DO go to a dermatologist once a year to get checked out. Sorry for your experience.
Good for you for getting checked out! Honestly, I love to sit in the sun, I just put on tons of sunscreen now. I also DON'T tan at all...never have been able to, I just burn and then go back to being white. People with fair skin are definitely more prone to get skin cancer. I confess I'm jealous of you and others who can sit outside and not get burned! My boyfriend is Italian and has never worn sunscreen a day in his life! Ugh.0 -
Food-related confession: I'm completely fed up with long pasta like spaghetti and linguine. Manual dexterity isn't my strong suit and I get so bored with twirling it into a manageable forkful, which seems to take me an extraordinary length of time, and I end up losing most of the sauce in the process so all I taste is the noodle. And there is usually some trailing end that I can't manage to train onto the fork that thwaps me in the chin anyway. I gave up ordering these types of noodles in restaurants long ago since I can't manage to eat them gracefully.
We had some leftover meat sauce and the SO made it with linguine last night (which obviously prompted this confession!). After the first couple of mouthfuls, I decided "screw it" and started hacking it up into smaller pieces with my knife. What the hell, I was in the privacy of my own home, who cares if I commit Pasta Sacrilege?
Hahaha! The pasta struggles are real! Too funny. You sound like my husband. He hates spaghetti and linguini because he can't eat it at his usual pace. I'm half Italian and grew up eating spaghetti every Sunday with the whole Italian side of the family. Didn't matter how old you were, eating pasta "properly" by swirling it on a fork was the ONLY acceptable way. I'm pretty good at it simply because of that.0 -
FitForMaddy wrote: »obscuremusicreference wrote: »FitForMaddy wrote: »girlviernes wrote: »I'm really curious, what is the purpose of the trash bag?
I sweat like a dog. (lol not literally) I wore them my first time around when I was losing weight.
Water weight with a risk of heat stroke. I'm not trying to be judgmental, but this is a bad idea.
My protein levels suck almost every day.
Augh you're right though! I'm going to go take it off right now. Screw it it's not worth it!
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xMrBunglex wrote: »Wow, 100 new posts! You guys be crazy...
Today's confession: It REALLY p*sses me off that you can't outwork a bad diet.
The last month, I've been logging everything as usual, breakfast, lunches & snacks have been on point, but after analyzing the data, noticed my avg cals per day have been quite a bit higher. Exercise burn has been at its usual levels, avg about 550 cals a day. I usually net about 11-1200 cals per day after exercise, but this last month it's been more like 1700. And not good calories either, a lot of crap at home after work. Chips, cake, cookies. Bad habit creeping back in, getting complacent, I've figured this out for years, blah blah blah.
End result? a 5 lb gain for May.
The fire has been lit.
Thanks for the compliment!
I thought you could outwork a bad diet if you were male. All the males in my family do it. They workout simply so that they can continue to eat their fast food, drink pop/soda, and satisfy their steak and bacon obsession. Sorry it's not that way for you, but you will be better off in the long run!0 -
Sadly, I confess...if I ever were to get divorced, though I like to think different, I would probably be "that older guy" that hooks up with someone younger...then feel all creepy about it.
Depends on how big of an age difference it is. I met my current husband when I was 28 and he was 38. We had both just divorced our first spouses the year before. The vast majority of his family and friends were convinced he was having a mid-life crisis. Been some ups and downs, but 15 years later we're still together.
You're well within my oldest age divide by 2 + 7 formula. See, works every time.
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quiksylver296 wrote: »Confession/NSV: I did NOT want to go to the gym last night. I was completely dreading it. However, no matter how much I dread the gym, sitting at my son's boxing gym and watching them practice is worse. So, I dragged myself to the gym. And PRed my bench!!! Went from total dread to psyched in 0.6 seconds!!!
I also ate cake, chocolate, ice cream, Funyuns and two Quest bars yesterday. Urgh.
There ya go! Super! Love the new pic, also!
I felt like that on Tuesday, but forced myself to get on the stepmill anyway. Actually made it to level 11 for the first time! Now I'm not dreading going back so much today to see how many level 11 intervals I can do without dying.0 -
Justina0535 wrote: »I have read so many of these, figured I should contribute...
My confession is, I hate my body. I just had my third child 2 months ago and I have refused to look at myself in the mirror. When I joined MFP 3 years ago I had lost 70 lbs. I have gained it all back and then some. I feel like a failure and its really eating me up inside. My husband is so sweet and understanding and I feel like I am pushing him away because I am so unhappy with myself. It makes me sad that my self worth totally depends on the number on the scale.
This is so sad to read. You say you hate your body, but your body created and supported 3 children - surely that's something to be proud of? It's amazing really. Even if you never have a 'perfect' body, I hope you can get to a point where you have good enough self esteem that it doesn't matter so much. You can do it, though I'd forgive you for not getting going straight away - you've just had a baby!0 -
Food-related confession: I'm completely fed up with long pasta like spaghetti and linguine. Manual dexterity isn't my strong suit and I get so bored with twirling it into a manageable forkful, which seems to take me an extraordinary length of time, and I end up losing most of the sauce in the process so all I taste is the noodle. And there is usually some trailing end that I can't manage to train onto the fork that thwaps me in the chin anyway. I gave up ordering these types of noodles in restaurants long ago since I can't manage to eat them gracefully.
We had some leftover meat sauce and the SO made it with linguine last night (which obviously prompted this confession!). After the first couple of mouthfuls, I decided "screw it" and started hacking it up into smaller pieces with my knife. What the hell, I was in the privacy of my own home, who cares if I commit Pasta Sacrilege?
I always cut up my noodles because it is easier that way!
Confession: Started cutting up my husband's noodles before I give them to him because I can't stand the slurping sounds he makes when eating pasta.0 -
I just got the a call from my mom saying she put our family dog down, we had him for 9 years. I'm sad even though I haven't lived at home in over 4 years.0
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AngryViking1970 wrote: »
Good for you! Hearing this always makes me happy.0 -
AngryViking1970 wrote: »
Oh my.
I've never been a physique inspiration to anyone, ever, in my life before. That's very touching.
I have a mental image of BZAH10's avatar in my head the whole time I do the workout.
Me neither! That's why knowing others are doing these exercises makes me so happy! Feels good to be a positive influence.0 -
Verablackrabbit wrote: »My Husband and I ordered pizza after only the 2nd week of our diet and I nearly ate the whole thincrust pizza by myself.
The next day there was leftovers, so to keep myself from eating it, I literally opened my back door and tossed it out into the compost.
Not to brag.. But we're doing way better now, and only 5wks of logs I've lost 13lbs.
And I'm back on my veggies only rabbit food diet.
I still love veggie pizza and when I reach my goals it's going to be my first cheat food. Maybe homemade though.
Congrats on your success! I'd think you should be able to enjoy a veggie pizza now, right? Maybe homemade so that you can control the ingredients.0 -
["That" older guy isn't as rare as you think.
@JPW1990 I know it isn't rare. Have many a friends who upon getting divorced suddenly find themselves in the company of much younger company. I shake my head as a older guy, but honestly there is a LOT of draw to it. Mostly it can capture that feeling of fleeting youth. Ya know, Jerry Lee Lewis "Middle Aged Crazy, trying to prove he still can...".
I am pretty grounded, but who knows. Was just thinking out loud. No plans for divorce or younger women at this point.
honestly, this is why at 34 i'm pretty sure i'm gonna be alone.
totally not judging you (after my parents divorced my dad spent years dating younger gals and then five years ago married a girl that is ONE year older than ME. i judge him )
anytime i go out i can't help but feel like i don't belong. there are young, stunning girls EVERYwhere, i can't imagine anyone settling for my older, pudgy butt. plus i'm also pretty sarcastic and b*tchy.
but seeing how i'm the reason my current relationship tanked, i really don't have anyone else to blame.
it's still kinda disappointing though.0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Congrats-peleroja and Tubbs
Celebrate!
Confession-Sometimes this thread is a bad influence. I was eating some of that Peanut Butter and Co white chocolate peanut butter and ate a bunch of it. My reasoning was, well the people from the thread do it sometimes so I'm normal.
I need to get back on track. I've been eating too much each day since Sunday.
I'm not blaming anyone but myself of course. I love this thread still.
We all have those bad days, weeks, & months. I'm sure you'll be back on track in no time. For a few months at least when I was off from work I would binge on at least 2,500-5,000 calories a day & it took me a long time to get back to eating somewhat normally again.
I confess that I did judge a poster who blamed this thread for eating treats everyday & that we talk about foods & particularly sweets too much.
i DID buy cookie butter because of this thread, as i'd never heard of it before. but i also didn't eat the whole jar. woot woot.
but speaking of the cookie butter, besides a random taste here and there, what are you supposed to eat it with or on?
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MissLaaber wrote: »I just got the a call from my mom saying she put our family dog down, we had him for 9 years. I'm sad even though I haven't lived at home in over 4 years.
oh no, so sorry for your loss 0 -
and yes, i own page 699. lol0
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CountessKitteh wrote: »Confession: Between full-time work, full-time school, and all the in-law health stuff, I'm approaching rock bottom energy levels. I simply do not have anything left to pull from the tank.
Which naturally only makes me feel totally guilty.
Also, I have a huge (non-school) certification exam next Saturday and I am woefully underprepared because of everything else going on. Depending on how the next 8 days go, I will not be all that surprised if I fail it. So it goes.
Sorry for all your stress! I'm pretty sure your family understands that your certification exam is important. It's okay to put them on the back burner while you prepare and finish the exam. No need to feel guilty! Priorities have to change from time to time.0 -
MissLaaber wrote: »I just got the a call from my mom saying she put our family dog down, we had him for 9 years. I'm sad even though I haven't lived at home in over 4 years.
So sorry. This makes me want to go home and hug mine.0 -
ikkin32dvs wrote: »My husband was hospitalized and I ate Wendy's even though I really wasn't hungry because I am stressed out.
Oh, I hope that your husband is ok! Sending prayers your way. Be kind to yourself, stressful situations like this are hard enough without beating yourself up about something little like a meal at Wendy's!
Ditto!0 -
MissLaaber wrote: »I just got the a call from my mom saying she put our family dog down, we had him for 9 years. I'm sad even though I haven't lived at home in over 4 years.
Awww, I'm so sorry! It's understandable to feel sad! I'm sure he had a full, happy life.0 -
["That" older guy isn't as rare as you think.
@JPW1990 I know it isn't rare. Have many a friends who upon getting divorced suddenly find themselves in the company of much younger company. I shake my head as a older guy, but honestly there is a LOT of draw to it. Mostly it can capture that feeling of fleeting youth. Ya know, Jerry Lee Lewis "Middle Aged Crazy, trying to prove he still can...".
I am pretty grounded, but who knows. Was just thinking out loud. No plans for divorce or younger women at this point.
honestly, this is why at 34 i'm pretty sure i'm gonna be alone.
totally not judging you (after my parents divorced my dad spent years dating younger gals and then five years ago married a girl that is ONE year older than ME. i judge him )
anytime i go out i can't help but feel like i don't belong. there are young, stunning girls EVERYwhere, i can't imagine anyone settling for my older, pudgy butt. plus i'm also pretty sarcastic and b*tchy.
but seeing how i'm the reason my current relationship tanked, i really don't have anyone else to blame.
it's still kinda disappointing though.
Don't compare yourself to girls who literally had nothing to do all day Saturday but fix all the layers they needed to leave the house. Start going places where wardrobe is an afterthought, and you'll find the guys who appreciate sarcasm over bodycon.0 -
xMrBunglex wrote: »Wow, 100 new posts! You guys be crazy...
Today's confession: It REALLY p*sses me off that you can't outwork a bad diet.
The last month, I've been logging everything as usual, breakfast, lunches & snacks have been on point, but after analyzing the data, noticed my avg cals per day have been quite a bit higher. Exercise burn has been at its usual levels, avg about 550 cals a day. I usually net about 11-1200 cals per day after exercise, but this last month it's been more like 1700. And not good calories either, a lot of crap at home after work. Chips, cake, cookies. Bad habit creeping back in, getting complacent, I've figured this out for years, blah blah blah.
End result? a 5 lb gain for May.
The fire has been lit.
Thanks for the compliment!
I thought you could outwork a bad diet if you were male. All the males in my family do it. They workout simply so that they can continue to eat their fast food, drink pop/soda, and satisfy their steak and bacon obsession. Sorry it's not that way for you, but you will be better off in the long run!
Some guys can. I'm not one of them, unfortunately!
Being fit & trim, I am the freak in my family...everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, is overweight. My younger brother looks like John Candy. If I stop watching it & stop exercising I can put on 5 lbs in 10 days, no problem. It's a main focus of my life to stay fit & trim, and I've been on it for 8 years now.
Here's my DL photo from 2007, at 240 lbs:
And here's my new one, taken last month, at 175:
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quiksylver296 wrote: »Confession/NSV: I did NOT want to go to the gym last night. I was completely dreading it. However, no matter how much I dread the gym, sitting at my son's boxing gym and watching them practice is worse. So, I dragged myself to the gym. And PRed my bench!!! Went from total dread to psyched in 0.6 seconds!!!
I also ate cake, chocolate, ice cream, Funyuns and two Quest bars yesterday. Urgh.
Nice!! ... did you eat those foods before or after your PR? If before, I may have to try your method 0 -
CountessKitteh wrote: »Confession: Between full-time work, full-time school, and all the in-law health stuff, I'm approaching rock bottom energy levels. I simply do not have anything left to pull from the tank.
Which naturally only makes me feel totally guilty.
Also, I have a huge (non-school) certification exam next Saturday and I am woefully underprepared because of everything else going on. Depending on how the next 8 days go, I will not be all that surprised if I fail it. So it goes.
Sorry for all your stress! I'm pretty sure your family understands that your certification exam is important. It's okay to put them on the back burner while you prepare and finish the exam. No need to feel guilty! Priorities have to change from time to time.
I wish. My in-laws are the most anxiety-ridden people on the planet (all medicated in some form kind of anxiety) and they cannot rationalize when they get like this. I'm positive there's resentment (which they will eventually realize was stupid), but right now I'm the total jerk who isn't available 24/7.1 -
["That" older guy isn't as rare as you think.
@JPW1990 I know it isn't rare. Have many a friends who upon getting divorced suddenly find themselves in the company of much younger company. I shake my head as a older guy, but honestly there is a LOT of draw to it. Mostly it can capture that feeling of fleeting youth. Ya know, Jerry Lee Lewis "Middle Aged Crazy, trying to prove he still can...".
I am pretty grounded, but who knows. Was just thinking out loud. No plans for divorce or younger women at this point.
honestly, this is why at 34 i'm pretty sure i'm gonna be alone.
totally not judging you (after my parents divorced my dad spent years dating younger gals and then five years ago married a girl that is ONE year older than ME. i judge him )
anytime i go out i can't help but feel like i don't belong. there are young, stunning girls EVERYwhere, i can't imagine anyone settling for my older, pudgy butt. plus i'm also pretty sarcastic and b*tchy.
but seeing how i'm the reason my current relationship tanked, i really don't have anyone else to blame.
it's still kinda disappointing though.
Yeah, I'd have a hard time not judging if I was in your situation as well. But, stay true to yourself - never settle! It's better to be independent and be your real self than to ever be with someone and be unhappy.
And the right person for you will NOT be settling - they will be grateful to have found you and fortunate to spend time with you!0
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