How do I stop being "Skinny Fat?"

I second guess myself a lot, and even after hours of research and myth debunking I'm still not sure I have the answers I need.

I'm 5'6", around 140 lbs last time I checked. I wear a medium in most clothes. I lost 25 lbs recently, and I'm happy to report I can wear a size 8 skinny jean for the first time since I was a teenybopper. However, I'm still not comfortable with the shape of my body. My breasts are small, and always have been. Any sort of excess weight looks really awkward on me because of that. My belly, which my boyfriend denies exists, hangs farther out than my breasts. My thighs are thick, my upper arms are floppy, and I have little love handles. I hate how bumpy and rolly my body is, but I have a 22.3 BMI, which is lower than my skinny boyfriend's 23 BMI, and he worries I'm going to starve myself trying to lose weight.

What should I do here? I don't want to go down to 1200 calories a day because I tried that before and it really didn't work. At the same time, I don't have as much weight to lose so now I need to eat less? I've already lost weight and so I'm not sure where to go from here.

TL:DR: Reached my goal, I'm at a healthy weight, but my body is gross. How do I fix it?
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Replies

  • juggernaut1974
    juggernaut1974 Posts: 6,212 Member
    Eat at maintenance and lift heavy weights repeatedly.

    Search for a good lifting program online to follow
  • stevencloser
    stevencloser Posts: 8,911 Member
    Weightlifting is your friend here.
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,565 Member
    Lift all the things!
  • MaiLinna
    MaiLinna Posts: 580 Member
    Is there anything safer I could do? If I hurt myself I don't have a doctor to go to.
  • JakeBrownVB
    JakeBrownVB Posts: 399 Member
    MaiLinna wrote: »
    Is there anything safer I could do? If I hurt myself I don't have a doctor to go to.

    Lifting is perfectly safe and...

    No there is nothing else you can do to build muscle other than lift.
  • JakeBrownVB
    JakeBrownVB Posts: 399 Member
    MaiLinna wrote: »
    Is there anything safer I could do? If I hurt myself I don't have a doctor to go to.

    Lifting is perfectly safe if you learn properly and...

    No there is nothing else you can do to build muscle other than lift.

  • juggernaut1974
    juggernaut1974 Posts: 6,212 Member
    MaiLinna wrote: »
    Is there anything safer I could do? If I hurt myself I don't have a doctor to go to.

    Lifting is perfectly safe and...

    No there is nothing else you can do to build muscle other than lift.

    Well you could do body weight exercises, but that still accounts to lifting weights (you're just using your body weight rather than outside weights)

    If you follow a program and learn proper form it's perfectly safe
  • JakeBrownVB
    JakeBrownVB Posts: 399 Member
    ceoverturf wrote: »
    Well you could do body weight exercises

    This, except body weight exercises fall of VERY quickly in terms of stimulating muscle growth. The intensity simply becomes too little, even with the convoluted versions of exercises like single leg squats etc.

    Whenever I see a well toned woman, you best believe she didn't do it purely on body weight excesses alone.

    Just lift weights, its silly not to
  • juggernaut1974
    juggernaut1974 Posts: 6,212 Member
    edited June 2015
    ceoverturf wrote: »
    Well you could do body weight exercises

    This, except body weight exercises fall of VERY quickly in terms of stimulating muscle growth. The intensity simply becomes too little, even with the convoluted versions of exercises like single leg squats etc.

    Whenever I see a well toned woman, you best believe she didn't do it purely on body weight excesses alone.

    Just lift weights, its silly not to
    Agreed...but it might be a good starting point for someone like op. Won't be able to make significant progress though
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    MaiLinna wrote: »
    Is there anything safer I could do? If I hurt myself I don't have a doctor to go to.

    What makes you think it's dangerous? Make sure you're educated on what you're doing, and it's perfectly safe. Weights are awesome!
  • MaiLinna
    MaiLinna Posts: 580 Member
    I'm going through some challenges right now like the 100 squat and the 100 push up challenge. When I was a teen I actually did 100+ pushups every day. Every. Day!!! I'd love to be able to do that again. I couldn't even do 1 full push up for the pre-program test, so I have a lot of work to do.

    I'm thinking maybe if I can get to the point where I can do 100 pushups a day I could reward myself with a new weight set. I had one but I moved to the other side of the country with nothing but a suitcase of clothes and a laptop, so...yeah. I live in a touristy town though so I should be able to find a job soon. I am without health insurance though. Rent > health insurance right now.
  • holly55555
    holly55555 Posts: 307 Member
    I was skinny fat too! I lost about 10% body fat. I almost have abs for the first time in my life! Just eat at a deficit and incorporate weight lifting into your routine.
  • mantium999
    mantium999 Posts: 1,490 Member
    Lifting isn't dangerous, anymore than walking up a flight of stairs. Fear of injury is often an excuse not to learn how to do it properly. Most who are at a happy weight, but are not happy with appearance, are lacking muscle mass. Lifting, or other forms of resistance training are your friend, not something to fear.
  • JakeBrownVB
    JakeBrownVB Posts: 399 Member
    edited June 2015
    MaiLinna wrote: »
    I'm going through some challenges right now like the 100 squat and the 100 push up challenge. When I was a teen I actually did 100+ pushups every day. Every. Day!!!

    Firstly I assume you don't mean 100 in one go.

    Secondly doing reps ranges high teens and above in ANY exercise is pretty much always utterly ridiculous as it has long been tried and tested at being useless in building muscle. To do that many reps of an exercise you must be using a weight that is very light and you can lift with great ease. The goal is to break down and tear the muscles fibers, you can't do that consistantly with such an insignificant amount of weight. All you will be doing in those ranges is basically cardio, training your muscle endurance, getting a pump and giving yourself pretty big DOMs.

    You won't be building muscle.

  • mantium999
    mantium999 Posts: 1,490 Member
    MaiLinna wrote: »
    I'm going through some challenges right now like the 100 squat and the 100 push up challenge. When I was a teen I actually did 100+ pushups every day. Every. Day!!!

    Firstly I assume you don't mean 100 in one go.

    Secondly doing reps ranges high teens and above in ANY exercise is pretty much always utterly ridiculous as it has long been tried and tested at being useless in building muscle. To do that many reps of an exercise you must be using a weight that is very light and you can lift with great ease. The goal is to break down and tear the muscles fibers, you can't do that with such an insignificant amount of weight. All you will be doing in those ranges is basically cardio, training your muscle endurance, getting a pump and giving yourself pretty big DOMs.

    You won't be building muscle.

    ^^^ All this, plus, an argument could be made that, if you are fearful of injury, this actually increases your odds of some form of repetitive motion issue. Just something to think about
  • MaiLinna
    MaiLinna Posts: 580 Member
    I have no idea what a DOM is, but yeah, I would just do push ups until I was too tired to keep going. That's when I'd switch to crunches. I was a teen with no internet. How would I know it wasn't helping me? At the same time, I had a pretty nice body so w/e. Though even then I thought I was fat because I wore a size 4-6 and I was usually too tall to wear a small. I wanted to a be a 00 like the girls in my school. :c
  • opalsqueak007
    opalsqueak007 Posts: 433 Member
    Mailinna - I can totally relate to your issues.

    I am/was in the same situation. I have found lifting weights and strengthening exercises has helped me a lot. It was not something I ever saw myself doing, or wanted to do, but I feel differently about it now. Do give it a try. I don't lift really heavy weights - 15-25lb handweights which took me a long time to get strong enough to lift - and 25lb kettlebell, has changed my body. Do give it a try. I understand that you don't want to hurt yourself, but lifting weights does strengthen you and in the long term, is a great thing for your body.
  • JakeBrownVB
    JakeBrownVB Posts: 399 Member
    MaiLinna wrote: »
    I have no idea what a DOM is, but yeah, I would just do push ups until I was too tired to keep going. That's when I'd switch to crunches. I was a teen with no internet. How would I know it wasn't helping me? At the same time, I had a pretty nice body so w/e. Though even then I thought I was fat because I wore a size 4-6 and I was usually too tall to wear a small. I wanted to a be a 00 like the girls in my school. :c

    DOM or should I say DOMS is "delayed onset muscle soreness"... bascially when you get really achy 2-3 days after doing the workout. Typically happens when you miss a week or two of lifting and especially when you do very high volume workouts.

    Yeah by all means doing those kind of exercises won't be completely useless by any means! And no doubt you had a fairly decent athletic build. But it still isn't the most effective way to train and there are much better ways to do it and like Mantium said, it would actually probably be safer too and less wear and tear on those joints.
  • MaiLinna
    MaiLinna Posts: 580 Member
    http://www.hundredpushups.com/

    Are these safe then?
  • holly55555
    holly55555 Posts: 307 Member
    MaiLinna wrote: »
    I was usually too tall to wear a small

    What? That isn't a thing, unless you mean some skirt or dress lengths? I'm 5'8, size 0 or 2, and a small. Sometimes things will be a little short because of my height, but my size is still small so I'm a little confused as to what you mean?