We broke up because...
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Couldn't keep it in his pants0
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It's like she never even knew I was around!0
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She wasn't around. Couldn't find her to finally break up.0
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She wouldn't share her bikinis with me.0
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Would never bring me to the beach0
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He only ever wanted to go to the beach and wrestle sharks...0
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Wouldn't let me go to the beach because of his fear of sharks.0
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She kept holding out0
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He kept holding out cupcakes0
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She didn't put bacon on the cupcakes.0
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his poops smelled up the whole house0
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Was fanciated0
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He never kept in touch0
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Had beans and corn for lunch, and wouldn't pull my finger.0
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When I asked him to pull my finger, he would always reach lower0
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I got sick of pulling his finger0
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She hated my jokes0
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She destroyed my external usb drive with all my mp3's on it.0
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He was so mad about silly things like losing music...I offered him mine but Taylor Swift and Abba Suck apparently0
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