Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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Also, I confess that I have gotten really bad at group challenges. I am in a couple of groups where we weigh in on a certain day of the week (two different days in the two groups for me) and do all kinds of other challenges, and now that I have quit work and graduated school I have been thrown completely off balance. It just so happens that I was posting before going to work and now I am forgetting everything and am probably bringing my teammates down by a lot. I even missed my first weigh in for one group I have been in for months and never missed a weigh in for! Argh.0
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kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »pearso21123 wrote: »I just finished reading the "You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?" thread and now am feeling very grateful for my friends and family. I have only had good comments about my weight loss, so far. Of course, I still have a long ways to go. But man, reading that thread made me realize how rude and unsupportive some people are.
I first got down to my normal weight nearly 20 years ago. I went from around 500 to around 175. People who didn't recognize me treated me completely differently than they did when I was big. I got smiles and courtesy, doors held open - and I don't mean flirting, it was men and women, any ages, the way they treated me was night and day. People who were absolutely cold and wouldn't acknowledge me before would go out of their way to say hi.
Overall, I'd say that had a far bigger impact on me than the random "you need to eat a hot pocket" type comments I'd get once in a while. I'm very distrustful of people in general, now. It takes a very long time before I decide if they're actually a nice person, or if they're a "nice as long as you fit my cookie cutter mold" person. Outside of some dysfunctional family relationships, most of the comments like those in that thread will stop after people get used to seeing the smaller version of the person, but the really rude and unsupportive people are far more subtle.
the massive difference in ppl i experienced after losing 100lbs was ridiculous, i can't imagine how that must have been for you. it's made me even more bitter and cynical about people in general. because i can't help but think, how different would i be if for my whole life people just treated me like a normal person and were nice? or even just decent?
Gosh that sucks, I'm sorry y'all must have just encountered some pretty *kitten* people
I can't believe people treat others that way because of their size it's so mind boggling to me!
The difference between my highest weight and lowest (which at the time, I'd lost 160 lbs) was insane. People held doors for me, looked me in the eye, listened to my opinion, etc. I was invisible when I was fat. It sucked and I actually went through a stage where I was mad at everyone for not giving me the time of day when I was fat and being all over me skinny. And I noticed as the weight came back on and I was eventually 40 lbs heavier than my lowest, people were starting to be ruder, not hold doors, notice me less, etc.
yep. i've noticed over the past year i've started to become invisible again....
I wanted to respond but have to think about my thoughts on this. (I may ramble.)
1 When I was heavier I wanted and tried to be invisible. I'm sure I personally behaved differently than when I was not heavier. I was 152% of what I am now and more than a dozen sizes bigger if that gives some perspective to what size I was or if it even matters. I am only speaking of my experience here.
2 I am short - not even five feet tall and I am hmm, what is a descriptive word, non-threatening looking. (They have no idea how strong and powerful I am inside!) The size is another place where people (some) purposely ignore and don't see you. I am cut in front of in line a lot. Sometimes (as in recently) I was not in a hurry and just wanted to observe the person doing the cutting. The first person cut and I watched her closely. She was uncomfortable and I was amused secretly. When the second person tried to cut I spoke up. I was VERY clearly in line and she stood behind me for a solid five minutes. When I firmly said, I was here first, her reply was "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you. (BS, she was 2 feet behind me in line.) The kind of funny part is that this was in the PETITE section of the store so no-one was all that tall, but most are more than 4'11".
So I wonder if it is just rudeness in general and when a person perceives whatever about a person and makes assumptions then they rationalize their rude behavior?
Again, I'm small, pleasant in dealing with (most) people. I am also very calm in an emergency. After my son's second open heart surgery (WARNING FOR THE Squeamish - skip this paragraph) they removed one of the main-line IV's that he's had. It was on his arm very high up near his armpit. It didn't clot as much as the nurse thought and pretty quickly after it started to bleed a lot. I grabbed his arm and applied pressure (he was 3 years old). The circumstances were such that I could not move (he was attached to lines) to push the call button. I was in a room near the nurses station. I called out "I need some help in here, he's bleeding" (nothing, chatting continued.) I tried this several times. I was not panicked but no one was coming to help, they continued their conversation. I was not worried but it was time to get some assistance as I was in an awkward position and my hand stopping the bleeding was a temporary measure so I put on the freaked out mom voice "My son is gushing blood" and INSTANTLY three nurses stopped their chatting and rushed in to help. It bothered me that I was ignored until I acted upset. The volume of my voice had been the same each time, it was the tone of voice that changed.
So I'm short and non-threatening/pleasant looking. I go by my first name almost all the time but when I want to cut through and get things moving quickly or if I'm dealing with customer service (or when I'm dealing with a new customer for the first time) I pull out the doctor title. It is amazing how people's attitutes change. I'm the same freaking person but put a title in front of me and I get way more respect and better customer service.
I dress up (sort of) most of the time. I love little comfortable dresses and sandals all summer long. They are more comfortable than shorts but have the bonus of people assuming I'm dressed up. People respond to me differently when I'm in a dress than when I'm in shorts and a t-shirt. (Hair and makeup being the same). I like the comfort of the dresses but I also like the niceties that dressing well brings out in people. (I'm on a budget so I don't spend much to dress the way I do.) The difference between dresses and shorts is amazing! These are just simple little summery dresses that are as comfortable as pajamas and cooler than shorts but doors get opened, people smile and talk, etc.
I guess some or maybe a lot or maybe all of us make assumptions about people and treat people accordingly whether it be weight or height or gender or the manner of dress, etc.. I try to treat everyone with common decency but I'm sure there have been times when I've failed (PMS or whatever).
I don't have a clear cut point or a solution. Reading over this I can summerize that when I was heavy I tried to disappear and didn't want interactions so I can't remember if I felt people treated me differently. I know I acted as if I was in retreat from people more. I know that some people use whatever assumptions about other people (short and probably non-confrontational in my case) to try to get away with rude behavior. I know that at the same weight I get treated very differently depending upon if I'm wearing casual wear, casual dresses or business suits. I also know that whatever I'm wearing if I'm smiling and outgoing I get a different reaction from people than if I'm quiet and not smiling.
I'm sorry you are not being treated the way you should be treated. I wish I understood human nature more.
People are just rude in general.
I see it all the time at the service desk. I always explain to a customer that it would be in their best interest to just do the return first & not run back in the store to do an exchange or shopping/exchange cause if there is a line then they cannot just cut right back in front. A lot of them seem to understand, but there are still a few who go back & then come up to see the line has 10+ people in line & they think they can mosey on up & be waited on first. I also hate when you're waiting on someone & the next person has to literally be breathing down their neck since they're so close to them. I always want to say can you give the person some space? You being that close will not make the line go faster. I also hate when you're helping someone with a return, counting money for a paycheck, or explaining something important to a customer & you have someone come up & start asking questions or think they should be waited on that minute. I can't count how many times I have gotten ready to count a large amount of change & someone has to tell me they're leaving their stuff they already bought on the counter to use the restroom.
I also can't stand the people who roll their eyes when the line is long. I always try to be nice & tell them that I am going as fast as I can & that I can't get help since they're busy on the regular registers.
As a shopper I thought there was going to be a fight one day in a thrift store of all places. There was a man & a woman getting ready to ring out & they were arguing about cutting in line. Out of nowhere the man screamed to the lady that she better not have a taser. I was like are you serious?
I can only imagine the things you see every day! As far as the bold, I've tried to solve this in two ways:
1. I'll go to the store right after the gym when I'm all sweaty and smelly hoping people will keep their distance.
2. If someone is standing behind me uncomfortably close I will turn around and say, "I need more room than this. Please scoot back." People have always don't it probably because they were caught off guard by me saying that. Don't care. Back off and do not breathe on me!
If I'm in the mood, I will just back up and "accidentally" step on them. Also don't care.0 -
xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Confession: so I tend to eat "low carb"; like less than 50 gms if I can manage it. But I'm having a pumpernickel bagel for breakfast right now and it. is. glorious. It's so good I may even have popcorn at the movies tonight to keep my carb high going. Yay for carbs!
I actually eat low carb (and not because it's trendy, I have IR and PCOS so when I eat the way I'm supposed to, I generally do the < 50 g carbs thing, too) but I do buy into the "carb reset" days of higher carbs. I'll do 701-00 g that day, stay off the scale for 2-3 days, and I'm fine. I time it around higher exercise days. I've been known to eat bagels then, too. They taste like HEAVEN when you normally eat LC. Of course, then I also bloat up like a mofo and my stomach hates me...
This is why I stay low carb all the time. I never carb cycle or have high carb days due to digestive issues. So not worth it anymore.0 -
kellienw335 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: I hate Facebook. Why does everyone feel the need to emotionally vomit everything they can possibly think of that happens in their life all over the feeds? Does nothing in life remain private anymore? :-/
I feel like a weirdo because I absolutely love Facebook.
I have reconnected with so many friends that I've lost touch with over the years. People say all the time "well, I'm in touch with all the people I care about". That is not true. When I was 19, I got pregnant, married the jerk and moved to Colorado. I lost touch with everybody from my life. This was 1993, not many people had email back then. Facebook has helped me reconnect with several really good friends. I even found an old friend from grade school that had moved to Florida when she was 14. When I went to Florida and visited with her the first time, it was like not a day had passed.
Yes, some of my friends post stuff I don't care to see, but I typically either ignore it, unfollow them, or unfriend them if it's somebody I don't care to interact with at all any more.
Edited to add: My least favorite thing about Facebook right now is the huge number of people who are using it to market their latest MLM garbage.
I agree with you! I have family and friends all over the US and my brother and his family live in Germany. I would not see pictures of my nieces, nephews, and friends' kids without it! I unfollow people that annoy me! Totally get why some people hate it, but it serves it's purpose in my life!
I'm in Ohio and I have family in the south that I only see once a year if I'm lucky (travelling to see them all next week, actually, haven't seen them in two years), so I'm glad that Facebook is around so that we can keep in touch.0 -
qn4bx9pzg8aifd wrote: »
...is there a Sims police force at play (no pun intended) -- ? -- is there a chance that anyone trying to catch a ghost in someone else's house could be charged with B&E (?)... (I have no idea to what 'limit' the game gets taken, in the context of any of so many potential (and virtualized) 'realities'...)qn4bx9pzg8aifd wrote: »
W. T. H. ?!!!Your sims can die by all kinds of normal things, like old age, or a house fire. If, for whatever reason, you want to kill one off, you can help them along. In the one you quoted, I did it by locking them in a room with no door so they couldn't escape, couldn't eat or bathe. It's not the best way to do it, because it takes forever. After they die, the grim reaper appears, and you have a chance to beg for their life with another sim. If you don't, or if that doesn't work, you end up with a little urn of ashes, or you can place it outside and it turns into a gravestone. After that, the ghost of the dead person will wander around the house at night, which is a good thing if you have sims who want to see ghosts, or a bad thing, if you have a sim who has an anxiety disorder.
OMG
Holy crap!
I already found the concept of Sim-dom to be interesting, when I first heard of such, many years ago -- however, this is another freakin' ballgame, I do declare... the aforementioned 'choreographed nightmare' (lol
), which offers disturbingly informative clarifying detail (if ever there were a time when being horrified, while simultaneously thanking someone (for the explanation therein), were ever to be relevant, then this would be it! lol 
), could perhaps be seen as being (and among the so many Sim-specific 'alternate universe' -type incarnations one could concoct) a kind of Sim AfterLife Soap Opera Channel (or so it would seem (and with Lifestyles of the Paranormal thrown in, to boot!)) -- whereby one can be writer, producer, director, and all-out 'puppetmaster'... and of the whole shebang!
...Sims with anxiety disorders?! ...Sims who are 'into' ghosts?! ...locking the poor things in a room, and with no means of escape?!
What have they not thought of?!! (and by they, I'm referring to the Sim creators (as in, the Sim creator-creators (but not creators of actual creators -- but creators of that which the secondary 'creators' will virtually create (how much more convoluted could I make this?!
)), and not the player-based Sim creators (as in, orchestrators of virtual horrors 
) )...
Oh, my... the Nightmare on Elm Street -esque 'rules of engagement' found in the realm of Sim-specific 'realities' could plausibly 'facilitate' the development of a sleep disorder, or some such form of 'reverb' -like negative consequence (or so it would seem), when it comes to being the master of said domain (who would have dreamed that a Seinfeldian reference might happen to 'fall out of nowhere', in a brief bit of commentary about virtual worlds (that's it! that's what *I'll* do! -- I'll recreate Seinfeld episodes in a Sim world! (which now has me wondering -- is there any way to have a Sim character 'enter a room' ala Kramer-from-Seinfeld's bursting-through-a-door-only-to-suddenly-arrest-momentum-and-immediately-engage-in-seemingly-casual-movement-and-interaction-and-as-though-nothing-unusual-had-just-happened -- ? )))...
Paranormal investigator is one of the available professions (this is all for Sims 3, there's a Sims 4 now and not everything is the same). Your job is to run around and night and catch ghosts in other people's houses.
Whoa... (who thinks of this stuff?!)The kidnapping challenge is pretty out there - your goal is to lock up your neighbors in your basement with a door only you are allowed to use (instead of killing them off, you give them a kitchen and bathroom).
Holy crap... I can only imagine...The 100 baby challenge is a lot of social engineering, too.
...it'd also be an unexpected form of 'training' for a '100 Babies and Counting' -type reality show (or so it would seem)... (are there any 'reality shows' in the land of Sims? (and do any Sims have their own Sims (?), such that a 'game within a game' is possible?))...
Yep, there are police. If you have all of the expansions for Sims 3, these are the available careers:
Acrobat
Angler
Alchemist
Architect
Art Appraiser
Astronomer
Athlete
Band member
Robotics Engineer
Business
Criminal
Culinary
Daycare
Education
Fashion
Film
Firefighter
Fortune Teller
Game Developer
Gardener
Ghost Hunter
Horseman
Inventor
Investigator
Journalist
Police
Lifeguard
Magician
Medicine
Military
Musician
Wine Maker ( they call it nectar)
Painter
Photographer
Politician
Scientist
Scuba Diver
Sculptor
Singer
Sports Agent
Writer
Retail
Beautician/Tattoo Artist
Alien Test Subject
No reality shows, but they do have a fame system, and when you're famous enough, the paparazzi follow you around. Occasionally they write something scandalous, true or not, and your reputation with the entire town drops. You can then sue for defamation.0 -
I'm a bit behind but had to chime in on the road rage thing. Apparently it's no joke these days. Last year there was an incident where a father and son were being tailgated by someone for quite awhile so they pulled into the parking lot of my gym (not necessarily for any type of confrontation I don't think, just to let the guy pass), but the guy followed them into the parking lot and SHOT them. The son actually died. Way too many crazies these days.
I agree with you. I just keep my anger and gestures to myself on the road anymore. People be crazy!0 -
AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: I hate Facebook. Why does everyone feel the need to emotionally vomit everything they can possibly think of that happens in their life all over the feeds? Does nothing in life remain private anymore? :-/
Editing to add: I'm obviously not dissing this confession thread--I love this thing. I'm referring to the people who like to air all of their dirty laundry and that of their family in public for all to see. I find it extremely distasteful.
My "favorite" thing is when someone is fighting with their partner or a specific person and is posting all kinds of passive aggressive and hostile comments about it publicly instead of just messaging that person - or just talking to them in real life - because half the time they are sitting in the same house.
Exactly! I also especially hate the dramatic "fishing" ones where they say something totally vague like... "I'm so sad..." or "I can't believe this!! Ugh!!" and wait for everyone to ask what's wrong and if they're okay. -_-
Ugh, my terrible SIL is guilty of both of these. Hence, the "terrible".
I generally either ignore those, or in one case I texted my friend and asked him what was going on. Only because he and his boyfriend both posted some vague garbage like that at the same time. That was a breakup.
I'd much rather vaguebooking or attention seeking posts than the racist crap my SIL posts. I've unfollowed her.0 -
Here is a picture of my lovely bruise. My leg is really swollen, it hurts constantly, and my foot keeps falling asleep. I think working out this week was not the best idea, but I'm trying to do all I can before I go on vacation and have to be seen in public in a bikini. Yellow means it's healing, right?!
Holy crap! That looks painful! On the flip side battle wounds are so cool!
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I gained 3lbs this week; I'm blaming the fact I came on my TOM this morning, but I also know that some of that was probably from overeating this week.0
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xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Confession: so I tend to eat "low carb"; like less than 50 gms if I can manage it. But I'm having a pumpernickel bagel for breakfast right now and it. is. glorious. It's so good I may even have popcorn at the movies tonight to keep my carb high going. Yay for carbs!
I actually eat low carb (and not because it's trendy, I have IR and PCOS so when I eat the way I'm supposed to, I generally do the < 50 g carbs thing, too) but I do buy into the "carb reset" days of higher carbs. I'll do 701-00 g that day, stay off the scale for 2-3 days, and I'm fine. I time it around higher exercise days. I've been known to eat bagels then, too. They taste like HEAVEN when you normally eat LC. Of course, then I also bloat up like a mofo and my stomach hates me...
This is why I stay low carb all the time. I never carb cycle or have high carb days due to digestive issues. So not worth it anymore.
Same here. A mystery number of days living in the bathroom is not worth it. When I got sick a few months ago, I went over because of the NyQuil and other meds I was taking, and at the same time couldn't keep much else down to offset it. I think the week after the flu was worse than the flu.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: I hate Facebook. Why does everyone feel the need to emotionally vomit everything they can possibly think of that happens in their life all over the feeds? Does nothing in life remain private anymore? :-/
Editing to add: I'm obviously not dissing this confession thread--I love this thing. I'm referring to the people who like to air all of their dirty laundry and that of their family in public for all to see. I find it extremely distasteful.
Ditto! I don't use Facebook but know of those who do and I get actually embarrassed for people who air their martial issues online. How can you possibly think that's going to help??? I guess it's because logical thinking just doesn't enter their minds.0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »MissLaaber wrote: »There is one girl I went to high school with who has seemed to not grow up since then, her facebook is full of drama with her wedding and bridal party. It's like Jersey Shore, a train wreck I can't help but watch lol
It's true..I'm kind of the same way. As much as I complain about the annoying things like the whole vague-booking thing, I don't delete or block the person..always waiting to see what they'll post next.
Hahaha and that right there is exactly why they do it! 0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »
The funny thing is that my sister's name is Georgia. People always get a good laugh over that when we introduce ourselves at the same timeFluffySandwich wrote: »And about names- mine is Savannah. My mom was going to name me Isabella if I had dark hair, but I was born blonde.... so Savannah it was. It's a pretty popular name in the Southern United States, but in Montreal it has gotten butchered so many times. I haven't met a single person with my name up here!
I named one of my former dogs Savannah, for Savannah Georgia actually, because I always wanted to go there. All of my dogs since then have had geographic names.
When one of my young coworkers was pregnant, knew she was having a girl, and couldn't think of a girl's name... I suggested Savannah. My rationale was that her son had the same name as one of my earlier dogs so her second child should be named after my dog too. Turns out her husband went to school with a Savannah and didn't like the girl so Savannah was tainted for him as a name. However, ever since then I have referred to her daughter as Savannah instead of her real name.
I agree, it's really difficult watching the (still living) loved ones around you suffer. I cried a lot during the funeral. And you're right about our dads not suffering anymore, at least there is thatAlma102724 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »
Don't blame yourself or feel bad for any of the feelings you are experiencing. Death has a way of shaking you up like that, and you had two significant losses in one day. I can't express how sorry I am!Alma102724 wrote: »Ok heres my 3rd contribution to this thread:
My dad AND my dog died on April 19. My dog at 3:00am and my dad at 5:28pm. He had a stroke and was recovering from it, was set to be released, then he had another massive stroke which did it for him. He was on a breathing tube, which he was against from the get go, but he was able to communicate with his foot. (up and down for yes, side to side for no) I was able to talk to him and ask him questions like "Do you understand what will happen if we take the tube out?" So in a sense I was able to get some type of closure. However right now, at this moment, I feel guilty for being so impatient with him towards his last days, I feel guilty for sometimes not even missing him, and I feel guilty for forgetting that he's gone. Towards the end of his days, he was either in dialysis or in the hospital and when he was home, he said very little but was always upbeat and happy (for the most part, well as happy as he could be given the situation/s he was put in.) It just feels like I didn't "feel" his passing even though as I write this it hurts my heart knowing he's gone.
My dog, we had her for 15 years. When my dad was diagnosed with renal failure so was my dog, when he was diagnosed with arthritis so was she, etc. She was close to him but she was still my dog. When he had his first stroke she had a seizure. When he had his second one she had another seizure. She stopped eating and I blame myself for not watching her as I should have because for a whole week we were going back and forth to the hospital to be at my dad's bedside. I just wanted to spend as much time with him as possible because I knew he wasn't going to be around for much longer. I didn't want to believe it but somehow I gave in to it and it wasn't until the day before her passing that I realized how thin she had gotten. We came home that night to sleep for a few hours and shower, my dad had since been taken off the breathing tube and it was just a waiting game at that point. I let her in, she was breathing rapidly so I thought it was just because she was excited and would calm down. She never did. She started throwing up nothing because there was nothing in her stomach so it was a dry heeve type of thing. I took her to the ER, once I pulled in to the parking lot she passed out. I thought she died. I ran inside screaming and she threw up some foamy stuff. The doctor ran out to meet me and took her back. I fell in to one of the consult rooms where I was inconsolable. I knew if she died my dad would follow. The tech came out told me how much it would be to stabalize her and I told her to do it I didnt care, it was my dog just save her. A few minutes later the doctor comes out and tells me she has fluid in her lungs and around her heart and he needed me to decide what I wanted to do. I knew I was going to have to contribute to my dad's funeral expenses and I knew if they drained it, it would just come back again.
I chose to have her put down rather than the latter. Now I feel guilty for not saving her, for not doing everything I could to take care of her. It all happened so fast.
I called my brother who stayed with my dad that night, screaming and crying for him to check on dad and make sure he was breathing, he was. I went back home with my dog in a plastic bag, let her two girls (she had puppies once, I kept two) say goodbye and we buried her. I slept for maybe an hour and it was off to the hospital again.
My dad passed later that day at 5:28pm.
I feel guilty for a lot of this. I feel like I'm cold for not missing either one of them, when everyone told me they saw the love I had for them both, but as I write this I can't help but feel so much hurt inside of me.
We came home to find my dad's recliner empty and my dog's bed as well. She wasn't there to comfort me and neither was he. Our house feels so strange now.
I don't know if this will be of any help to you, but I lost my dad last year. He had been struggling with multiple sclerosis ever since before I was born, and he spent the last years of his life almost completely paralyzed. I lived with him in high school and helped to take care of him (basic things like cooking meals, etc), but I feel horrible about how irritated I was at him sometimes for needing the treatment he did (too hot, too cold, needed to be turned over in his bed). Saying this feels me with shame, but I loved him deeply as it sounds like you did your own father. We are people too, though, and can't always be perfect individuals.
For a long time I just felt shock over it, and still do in a sense... I don't cry over him very often at all (there have been times when I have been overcome with grief and couldn't get out of bed), and feel guilty about it, but I cannot bring myself to say the word ''dad'' unless I am talking to my family... it brings up all these sad feelings.
Whether you cry or are in shock or cannot bring yourself to feel much of anything, people mourn and grieve in different ways and it doesn't mean you didn't care. Again, I'm so sorry.
Yes that is exactly how I felt! Especially how you mentioned not crying at all, some days I'm so nonchalant about everything. Then there's days like this, where I think I should be sad.
For him it was always too hot or cold, too much light coming in it had to always be dark and I'd get so frustrated and tell him he needed to be in the sunlight and he'd say his eyes hurt with the bright light. I didn't realize to what extent that's why I feel bad.
I can't say my dad is dead out loud or anything mentioning the word death, dying, etc. I just can't. Honestly (confession) I feel worse watching my mom cry than knowing my dad is gone. At least I know he's not suffering but her, she loved that man. She was with him 40+ years I can't imagine what she must be feeling.
I have to agree with this also. My parents were together for almost 50 years when my mom passed last year. My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad retired at an early age. So once he retired, they were both home every day together for the past 25 years and were so close. They built their own little world in that house and now my dad has to live in it...alone. It is heartbreaking. Going through my mom's things to help clean out the house was just awful...everything in there had a memory to go with it...and we had to see my dad struggle with each item he touched. In my 36 years, I had never seen my dad cry...until last year. Now it's kind of normal to see him cry...because he does it so often.
This is so sad. I am sorry.
My grandmother passed away 3 months before my grandparents would have had their 70th wedding anniversary - yes- seventy - not a typo. My grandpa was lost after that, he was not complete. All he had known for 70 years was with her by his side, she was a housewife all those years and cooked for him 3 meals a day - he had to learn to do all things for himself. He did manage to go on for another 4 years after that, but he was not happy after she was gone. He passed away last summer July 7 at age 94.
I'm so sorry for your losses but what an inspirational story when you think about two people who stick together through all the crap life throws at you, how amazing!
I have had some great examples set for me. My parents are in their 55th year of marriage. Guess that is how I managed the 33 years we are at. (although all of my 4 siblings have been divorced at least once)0 -
I'm actually wanting to hurry up and get my workout and shower in for the day because it's going to rain from 3 PM onwards and I need to binge-watch the new season of Orange is the New Black. #priorities
I couldn't sleep last night I was so excited for it to come out!!! We all know what Laura's doing this weekend! 0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Guys, I think I'm in trouble. I just made these:
(picture removed)
...And I think they're going to be lunch.
Even though you're younger than me- will you be my mother? I hate baking! I need someone to do it for me!
Consider yourself adopted, if you'll save me from myself by eating my baked goods. I LOVE to bake! But then I end up eating a little too much of what I baked...
YAYY!! I would like some chocolate cake with white whipped cream icing Haha that is why I'm glad I hate baking because if I did I wouldn't be able to stop myself from eating everything I made!
While it isn't chocolate cake, you reminded me of this dessert that I made when I visited family in March:
It's layered from bottom to top: Digestive biscuits (A bit like graham crackers), vanilla custard, Oreos, chocolate custard, repeat... And the top is real whipped cream (not the stuff in a can). 0 -
Thank you everyone for the congrats - I'm pretty chuffed about it.
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pofoster21 wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »
The funny thing is that my sister's name is Georgia. People always get a good laugh over that when we introduce ourselves at the same timeFluffySandwich wrote: »And about names- mine is Savannah. My mom was going to name me Isabella if I had dark hair, but I was born blonde.... so Savannah it was. It's a pretty popular name in the Southern United States, but in Montreal it has gotten butchered so many times. I haven't met a single person with my name up here!
I named one of my former dogs Savannah, for Savannah Georgia actually, because I always wanted to go there. All of my dogs since then have had geographic names.
When one of my young coworkers was pregnant, knew she was having a girl, and couldn't think of a girl's name... I suggested Savannah. My rationale was that her son had the same name as one of my earlier dogs so her second child should be named after my dog too. Turns out her husband went to school with a Savannah and didn't like the girl so Savannah was tainted for him as a name. However, ever since then I have referred to her daughter as Savannah instead of her real name.
I agree, it's really difficult watching the (still living) loved ones around you suffer. I cried a lot during the funeral. And you're right about our dads not suffering anymore, at least there is thatAlma102724 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »
Don't blame yourself or feel bad for any of the feelings you are experiencing. Death has a way of shaking you up like that, and you had two significant losses in one day. I can't express how sorry I am!Alma102724 wrote: »Ok heres my 3rd contribution to this thread:
My dad AND my dog died on April 19. My dog at 3:00am and my dad at 5:28pm. He had a stroke and was recovering from it, was set to be released, then he had another massive stroke which did it for him. He was on a breathing tube, which he was against from the get go, but he was able to communicate with his foot. (up and down for yes, side to side for no) I was able to talk to him and ask him questions like "Do you understand what will happen if we take the tube out?" So in a sense I was able to get some type of closure. However right now, at this moment, I feel guilty for being so impatient with him towards his last days, I feel guilty for sometimes not even missing him, and I feel guilty for forgetting that he's gone. Towards the end of his days, he was either in dialysis or in the hospital and when he was home, he said very little but was always upbeat and happy (for the most part, well as happy as he could be given the situation/s he was put in.) It just feels like I didn't "feel" his passing even though as I write this it hurts my heart knowing he's gone.
My dog, we had her for 15 years. When my dad was diagnosed with renal failure so was my dog, when he was diagnosed with arthritis so was she, etc. She was close to him but she was still my dog. When he had his first stroke she had a seizure. When he had his second one she had another seizure. She stopped eating and I blame myself for not watching her as I should have because for a whole week we were going back and forth to the hospital to be at my dad's bedside. I just wanted to spend as much time with him as possible because I knew he wasn't going to be around for much longer. I didn't want to believe it but somehow I gave in to it and it wasn't until the day before her passing that I realized how thin she had gotten. We came home that night to sleep for a few hours and shower, my dad had since been taken off the breathing tube and it was just a waiting game at that point. I let her in, she was breathing rapidly so I thought it was just because she was excited and would calm down. She never did. She started throwing up nothing because there was nothing in her stomach so it was a dry heeve type of thing. I took her to the ER, once I pulled in to the parking lot she passed out. I thought she died. I ran inside screaming and she threw up some foamy stuff. The doctor ran out to meet me and took her back. I fell in to one of the consult rooms where I was inconsolable. I knew if she died my dad would follow. The tech came out told me how much it would be to stabalize her and I told her to do it I didnt care, it was my dog just save her. A few minutes later the doctor comes out and tells me she has fluid in her lungs and around her heart and he needed me to decide what I wanted to do. I knew I was going to have to contribute to my dad's funeral expenses and I knew if they drained it, it would just come back again.
I chose to have her put down rather than the latter. Now I feel guilty for not saving her, for not doing everything I could to take care of her. It all happened so fast.
I called my brother who stayed with my dad that night, screaming and crying for him to check on dad and make sure he was breathing, he was. I went back home with my dog in a plastic bag, let her two girls (she had puppies once, I kept two) say goodbye and we buried her. I slept for maybe an hour and it was off to the hospital again.
My dad passed later that day at 5:28pm.
I feel guilty for a lot of this. I feel like I'm cold for not missing either one of them, when everyone told me they saw the love I had for them both, but as I write this I can't help but feel so much hurt inside of me.
We came home to find my dad's recliner empty and my dog's bed as well. She wasn't there to comfort me and neither was he. Our house feels so strange now.
I don't know if this will be of any help to you, but I lost my dad last year. He had been struggling with multiple sclerosis ever since before I was born, and he spent the last years of his life almost completely paralyzed. I lived with him in high school and helped to take care of him (basic things like cooking meals, etc), but I feel horrible about how irritated I was at him sometimes for needing the treatment he did (too hot, too cold, needed to be turned over in his bed). Saying this feels me with shame, but I loved him deeply as it sounds like you did your own father. We are people too, though, and can't always be perfect individuals.
For a long time I just felt shock over it, and still do in a sense... I don't cry over him very often at all (there have been times when I have been overcome with grief and couldn't get out of bed), and feel guilty about it, but I cannot bring myself to say the word ''dad'' unless I am talking to my family... it brings up all these sad feelings.
Whether you cry or are in shock or cannot bring yourself to feel much of anything, people mourn and grieve in different ways and it doesn't mean you didn't care. Again, I'm so sorry.
Yes that is exactly how I felt! Especially how you mentioned not crying at all, some days I'm so nonchalant about everything. Then there's days like this, where I think I should be sad.
For him it was always too hot or cold, too much light coming in it had to always be dark and I'd get so frustrated and tell him he needed to be in the sunlight and he'd say his eyes hurt with the bright light. I didn't realize to what extent that's why I feel bad.
I can't say my dad is dead out loud or anything mentioning the word death, dying, etc. I just can't. Honestly (confession) I feel worse watching my mom cry than knowing my dad is gone. At least I know he's not suffering but her, she loved that man. She was with him 40+ years I can't imagine what she must be feeling.
I have to agree with this also. My parents were together for almost 50 years when my mom passed last year. My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad retired at an early age. So once he retired, they were both home every day together for the past 25 years and were so close. They built their own little world in that house and now my dad has to live in it...alone. It is heartbreaking. Going through my mom's things to help clean out the house was just awful...everything in there had a memory to go with it...and we had to see my dad struggle with each item he touched. In my 36 years, I had never seen my dad cry...until last year. Now it's kind of normal to see him cry...because he does it so often.
This is so sad. I am sorry.
My grandmother passed away 3 months before my grandparents would have had their 70th wedding anniversary - yes- seventy - not a typo. My grandpa was lost after that, he was not complete. All he had known for 70 years was with her by his side, she was a housewife all those years and cooked for him 3 meals a day - he had to learn to do all things for himself. He did manage to go on for another 4 years after that, but he was not happy after she was gone. He passed away last summer July 7 at age 94.
I'm so sorry for your losses but what an inspirational story when you think about two people who stick together through all the crap life throws at you, how amazing!
I have had some great examples set for me. My parents are in their 55th year of marriage. Guess that is how I managed the 33 years we are at. (although all of my 4 siblings have been divorced at least once)
My parents just celebrated their 50th last year. Out of the 6 siblings they have between them only one has been married to the same person. My father's brothers are all on their 3rd or 4th wives.0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Also my MFP was not working yesterday. I was able to read everyone's posts but couldn't quote or even reply at all. Got back on this morning and I was 15 pages behind. I'm still behind but getting there.
Confession: I miss living in Japan. The culture there is so wonderful. And the people are so much more thoughtful and lovely compared to Americans. I am an American, but other Americans disappoint me a great deal. I don't mean to offend anyone. We could learn so much from other cultures. Where we lived there was ZERO crime. You could sleep with your windows and doors wide open, leave your car unlocked. The mailman would actually come into your house and set your mail inside your house. I could go on and on, but that's just one small example.
Could not agree more.
Me too. I remember watching some docs about prisons over seas and the violence and crap from inmates was nearly non existent because they are actually treated properly. Some of the prisons had swimming pools and all kinds of crap to keep the inmates healthy. Some allow them to house with family members and friends etc. And most had menus and food of that of a five star hotel. I was amazed and thought it was brilliant.
Just wondering? Was it for all inmates or the ones who did petty crimes?
I know you like the ID channel & for all of those who watch it too they're having a special about Ted Bundy on Sunday. I will probably watch it since I have never watched anything based on him before.
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/31107096/ns/dateline_nbc-crime_reports/t/where-theres-smoke/#.VXrLAEZySig
This is one of the cases that stuck with me for a long time. It almost seemed like something out of a movie. I couldn't believe the wife wasn't arrested too.
I do believe it was all inmates.....one thing I forgot that is a big one too is that guards are expected to treat the inmates with the utmost respect....and amazingly (sarcastic), the inmates treated the guards the same way.
Treat people like animals, and they will behave as such.....0 -
qn4bx9pzg8aifd wrote: »
...is there a Sims police force at play (no pun intended) -- ? -- is there a chance that anyone trying to catch a ghost in someone else's house could be charged with B&E (?)... (I have no idea to what 'limit' the game gets taken, in the context of any of so many potential (and virtualized) 'realities'...)qn4bx9pzg8aifd wrote: »
W. T. H. ?!!!Your sims can die by all kinds of normal things, like old age, or a house fire. If, for whatever reason, you want to kill one off, you can help them along. In the one you quoted, I did it by locking them in a room with no door so they couldn't escape, couldn't eat or bathe. It's not the best way to do it, because it takes forever. After they die, the grim reaper appears, and you have a chance to beg for their life with another sim. If you don't, or if that doesn't work, you end up with a little urn of ashes, or you can place it outside and it turns into a gravestone. After that, the ghost of the dead person will wander around the house at night, which is a good thing if you have sims who want to see ghosts, or a bad thing, if you have a sim who has an anxiety disorder.
OMG
Holy crap!
I already found the concept of Sim-dom to be interesting, when I first heard of such, many years ago -- however, this is another freakin' ballgame, I do declare... the aforementioned 'choreographed nightmare' (lol ), which offers disturbingly informative clarifying detail (if ever there were a time when being horrified, while simultaneously thanking someone (for the explanation therein), were ever to be relevant, then this would be it! lol ), could perhaps be seen as being (and among the so many Sim-specific 'alternate universe' -type incarnations one could concoct) a kind of Sim AfterLife Soap Opera Channel (or so it would seem (and with Lifestyles of the Paranormal thrown in, to boot!)) -- whereby one can be writer, producer, director, and all-out 'puppetmaster'... and of the whole shebang!
...Sims with anxiety disorders?! ...Sims who are 'into' ghosts?! ...locking the poor things in a room, and with no means of escape?!
What have they not thought of?!! (and by they, I'm referring to the Sim creators (as in, the Sim creator-creators (but not creators of actual creators -- but creators of that which the secondary 'creators' will virtually create (how much more convoluted could I make this?! )), and not the player-based Sim creators (as in, orchestrators of virtual horrors ) )...
Oh, my... the Nightmare on Elm Street -esque 'rules of engagement' found in the realm of Sim-specific 'realities' could plausibly 'facilitate' the development of a sleep disorder, or some such form of 'reverb' -like negative consequence (or so it would seem), when it comes to being the master of said domain (who would have dreamed that a Seinfeldian reference might happen to 'fall out of nowhere', in a brief bit of commentary about virtual worlds (that's it! that's what *I'll* do! -- I'll recreate Seinfeld episodes in a Sim world! (which now has me wondering -- is there any way to have a Sim character 'enter a room' ala Kramer-from-Seinfeld's bursting-through-a-door-only-to-suddenly-arrest-momentum-and-immediately-engage-in-seemingly-casual-movement-and-interaction-and-as-though-nothing-unusual-had-just-happened -- ? )))...
Paranormal investigator is one of the available professions (this is all for Sims 3, there's a Sims 4 now and not everything is the same). Your job is to run around and night and catch ghosts in other people's houses.
Whoa... (who thinks of this stuff?!)The kidnapping challenge is pretty out there - your goal is to lock up your neighbors in your basement with a door only you are allowed to use (instead of killing them off, you give them a kitchen and bathroom).
Holy crap... I can only imagine...The 100 baby challenge is a lot of social engineering, too.
...it'd also be an unexpected form of 'training' for a '100 Babies and Counting' -type reality show (or so it would seem)... (are there any 'reality shows' in the land of Sims? (and do any Sims have their own Sims (?), such that a 'game within a game' is possible?))...
Well, there ARE police (You can even be one, if you want, it's a career option; you can also choose being a robber as a career option, in fact) and when robbers come and break into your house, if you bought a burglar alarm the police will show up. I've never tried breaking into anyone else's house, though...
They DO have video games. They don't have their own Sims though, as far as I know! 0 -
Last night I discovered ants in my apartment. I swept the floors and cleaned them all and noticed that most of the ants were gone, but some still remained near the door of our apartment. My boyfriend and I finally investigated outside and saw some coming from a hole in our building, near our neighbor's door. This needs to be brought to the owner's attention, but I can't help but feel glad that it doesn't seem to be MY fault (food on the floor, etc). I was terrified to think that I caused an ant infestation
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