WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JULY2015

lhannon062709 wrote: »

GRITSandSLUTS wrote: »

@lhannon062709 - who now has 'physical' custody of your DGS? Is the 'joint' custody issue due to a 'new' person in the life/lives of one or the other of the parents? I think it is a shame to use a innocent child as a 'pawn'.

My DD has primary custody, but the ex was supposed to pick up the DGS for the summer. He sent a text to my daughter, taunting her that he was picking up the DGS, was going to move out of state, and would not be letting her know where he was taking him.

She used the text to get a temporary restraining order, and, due to a number of other issues, is suing for permanent custody and child support she's never received.

Oh, yeah - I'd be doing the same, too. Make sure she keeps current pictures of her and any distinguishing marks, scars, moles, etc. I think I would go so far as to have her 'fingerprinted' (but, that would put her into the 'system' which later on, she might not like). My boys were fingerprinted by the police at their school. Go to the school and ask if she can stay in the office until your DD (or a particular person only) came to pick her up. Use a password so that the school would know that the person had the right to pick her up. So many things you can do to make it difficult to take her without your knowledge. Bad thing is that unless there is an order from the Judge that the child is not to be with him - police won't get involved. Sounds like he is a real MF and using the child as a pawn for some reason, if maybe because she has moved on (new boyfriend of husband). If he does kidnap her (which he could well do) you'd have ways to identify her if he changes her hair style and/or color. Don't know how old she is - but she should be taught her address, telephone number; and shown how to call home, collect. Make sure she knows that she can go to her 'new' school or child care (if he enrolls her) and tell the principal or owner that her Daddy is not supposed to get her/have her. One of the things you can do to keep up with her - if for you to have the school ordered to advise you of any requests for school records and to tell the school that they are NOT to be released. Then contact the police about him not supposed to be having her. That way you'd know, at least, where he has attempted to enroll her in a school district. They have to be 'sent' by the school to the new school - they cannot just give them to anyone, not even a custodial parent (at least in the state where I live).

I worked for an attorney and we sometimes had the same sort of situation. Daddy got custody and mother picked them up after school and did not take them back. They were old enough to know how to contact him and he got the police involved in order to get them back from her and to keep them away with supervised visitation. She was pretty mean and unstable. Kids did NOT want to be with her. But, child support and visitation are 2 totally different things in any settlement agreement or order. He does not have to visit with the child(ren); but, he still owes child support. If he never pays child support most courts will still allow him to visit with the kids. You can't hold one thing (visitation) over his head (even if he is not current with his child support) ... in most states.

Some states make the party pay child support through a child support department instead of directly to a party; but most states do require they pay it directly to the custodial parent. This helps with parents who argue over whether or not they are current making child support payments. If DD is paid in cash, she should give him a receipt (best with a carbon copy to keep for herself). Even giving a receipt if he pays by check. These receipt books are good evidence if a parent is not paying or if they are paying sporactically. In this sort of he said/she said lets the judge know if he paying he or paying her only sporactically. You get a receipt anytime you buy something, whether in cash, by check, debit card, or money order. Write down the check #, amount and day paid - write down the number on the MO if he pays her that way (he is getting a receipt for it, for sure). Keep everything in the same drawer, locked, and documented.

My former D-n-L got my present D-n-L to cash the child support check and give her cash (without getting her to sign either the back of the check or write down that she had given her the cash for the check - she'd call her and give some song and dance about not being able to get a bank to cash them for her and present D-n-L would just cash a check in that amount and give her cash. Ex-D-n-L was 'crazy like a fox'; but, she had learned from some of her friends that doing this would make it so that my son could probably not prove he was current. Present D-n-L was paying C/S out of her checkbook. She did it, saying she felt 'sorry for the 'ex' because she did not have a banking account' and was just 'helping her out'. Yeah, she was helping - prove that DOS wasn't paying. After she learned what she was doing - she stopped. In the child custody change, the Judge wiped out any arrearages that she attempted to say that DOS had not paid and applied it over the next 4 years as child support she would have paid him - if he had pressed the issue. He had to come up with a way to prove that he had. Even then, he could not prove his present wife had given her cash. Couldn't do it with his wife giving his ex cash; but, over the period of time he got custody of DGD it ended up that before she turned 18 he would have gotten to be paid for 2 months C/S from his 'ex'. It wasn't worth it for him to fight it. Good records make for good evidence. She was not 'served' with the papers until they had her (DGD) 'physically' for a period of visitation because they knew she'd get up and go see her Dad in another state and just would not come home. They went for a 10 visit with him; but, they did come home. DGD had already signed the petition for the custody change (she was of age to do so, in this State it is 14 years old). Ex would call and tell me to bring her home; and I had to do so (especially if the visitation period had been agreed on between the parties) to be different. She did it to 'jerk everybody's chain' including the child's. She was downright 'hateful' - with all 3 of her children (which she has not lost to DFACS and they have been placed with a paternal grandmother and the other's biological parent). She'll never comply with the Order from the criminal court; but, she writes letters to them telling them she is going to do this, that or the other. She doesn't fool the DGD that is our granddaughter; and she has told the middle child that her mother is only lying to her.

He probably won't pay child support even if visitation is granted ... but, I think I would try for supervised visitation (this was done with my DGD's mother where the other 2 were concerned because of DFACS). Parents are so cruel and they don't realize what they do to the child. It certainly messes with their minds. Sometimes it is necessary to get a guidance counselor involved and/or make sure that the child is not picked up by anybody other than the custodial parent (even if they have to sit in the office for it to be done). Most important this is something that is between you DD and her 'ex' and should never be something that the child is told. If her Dad is the type of @$$-O he sounds to be - she will soon learn that.

And you never heard this from me.

Good early evening beautiful ladies :flowerforyou:

DJ I think it was you that asked if I went to the track everyday and walked 5 miles, If not, just skip the answer. I go to the track at least 3 days a week and walk anywhere from 3 miles to 5 miles, just depending on how much time I have. Sometimes I`m there at 5:30 in the morning, surprisingly enough there are other people there too. I enjoy walking in the mornings; I think it sets me up for a wonderful day! How are things at the beach? Have you had any shark sightings there? Love your fur babies, they are so cute !!!

Rosie Congrats to your daughter!!! Your fridge looks delicious! Glad to hear you`re home and your sons missed you .

Pip Happy belated birthday to Kirby! Hope you`re having a fab time!

Vicki You are a great friend to Lee, I`m sure she appreciates you being there for her! How are things going at work? Hope your mom is doing better, and that DH feels better too!

Lesley Keeping your daughter in my thoughts and prayers! I love hearing about Blaize and his adventures :laugh:!

Becca by the beach I just had to laugh at you being a Gemini and you`re REALLY happy or really HORRID, my dog is a Gemini too, she is the same way :laugh:!

Carol in NC I hope you`re feeling better soon :flowerforyou:!

Michele When I was working, I was always on my computer during the day, so I could check in a couple times. Now I am very rarely on my computer, I have so many other things I`ve been doing (that doesn`t include housework, which I desperately need to do :blushing:!), I think I`ve spent one day in a month and half at home…I`m having fun :bigsmile:!!!

Chris in MA Congrats on starting the C25K! I did that a few years ago, in the winter, it was cold and we had training in rain, snow and wind. I loved it, although I did come down with a bout of pneumonia :sick: (that was not fun). Congrats on being in a size 8 now, woo hoo!!!

Joyce Your “strawberry ice cream” sounds yummy! So sorry to hear about the moderator!

Carey I want to thank you again for your quotes!!! I love all them!

Katiebug I`m waiting to hear how you like the Baby Foot cream! I go every 2 weeks or so to get a pedicure because my feel are so dry. The little girl who does my pedi fusses at me if I wait too long !

Janet R I sure hope you feel better soon!!! Let us know how you like the waterproof FitBit. I have an old one, the FitBit ultra…I love it, and it`s still working just fine. I think I`ve had it for at least 3 years and never once had a problem with it! The one you have, do you wear it on your wrist?

Toni in TN Hope you feel better soon :flowerforyou:!!!

Lillian I hope you get rain soon!!! It`s such a shame about all the fires, so very sad! I think it was one day last week, it was hazy here in NC and they said it was from the fires in Canada. Oh my, your number called your number , I wouldn`t answer it either! I`m knocking on wood now, I don`t get many telemarketer calls, just a few on my cell phone, none on my home number.

Heather Beautiful couple! Step away from cheese!

Lisa So glad your DD got a restraining order. Wishing her well on the full custody! I love reading your posts!

Katla Glad the bike shorts added another layer of protection!!!

Terri Have a great time!!! Good luck to your son!

Yanniejannie Lucky you, having temps in the 70`s. It`s been hot here today, lots of wind but still hot!

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!!!

Hugs,
DeeDee in NC

Arrived safely in New Hampshire without any hitches in the flight connections or luggage or catching the bus from Boston. I logged my food today, though without the degree of accuracy I usually strive for. I also managed to get my butt out jogging in the early morning so I think I probably broke even calorie-wise.

But boy is it hectic here! The plane had internet and I read a bit of the thread somewhere over Labrador, but haven't been able to read anything since. I'll just wish you all well and hope to be back in the community soon!

/Penny, currently nowhere near the Pole

Yesterday it rained all day, dog refused to go for a walk. We stayed near fire, watched TV and I cleaned. Glad I did training early
NO she cannot have a wig of her own hair, she says she is not too proud to wear a beanie if she needs to. The wigs are for people who lose hair during chemo.
Sunday and rest and Re-feed day, Stan is making Sunday Brunch and I am keeping cals LOW as not sure what we will do. Lunch is "Almond on a date smoothie"
Washing clothes, drying towels by fire
Lesley in Tasmania

@DeeDee in NC wrote - "Janet R I sure hope you feel better soon!!! Let us know how you like the waterproof FitBit. I have an old one, the FitBit ultra…I love it, and it`s still working just fine. I think I`ve had it for at least 3 years and never once had a problem with it! The one you have, do you wear it on your wrist?"

Thanks DeeDee, I am feeling better my blood pressure is still low up to 78/65 now.

Yes its a fitbit Flex, but has been waterproofed. I hope it works well too. I'm new at all this syncing stuff. Taxing my brain. lol I'll let you know how it goes.

Janetr OKC

@GodMomKim - I do just about any medium, such as oils, pastels, pencil, etc. I am really rusty on watercolor; but, love the way they look. I do not do Acrylics, mainly because when I was 'in school' and they had just come out - they dried too quickly, hard to mix, and you had to finish the area at one sitting and therefore just never tried them again. Of course, there are things you can add to paints to make them dry fast or slow down the speed at which they dry. I love the way they look; but, but not willing to pay to get enough of them to have enough to paint anything. They are really less expensive than oils; but, I still have some tubes of oil and a couple of 100 brushes that I had in school, 45 years ago. My favorite subjects are people (portraits), landscapes, and seascapes. I look through magazines to get ideas sometimes taking part of one picture and a part of another one and make up my own subject. [I'm the one sitting at the MD's office, tearing pages out of the magazine - I just don't tear out any unless the backside is an AD. I'll try to post some when I figure out how to do so. I'll have to do it from my desktop, which I have been ignoring due to the purchase of a new laptop. For my DOS's wife, I painted her grandmother. She got her lip poked out when my DYS asked me to paint a peacock for his 'at that time fiancée, now wife'. She has not seen it and I want to rub down the 'lavender' frame down with some black. I was trying to get the frame finished for a show.

@DeeDee2211 Yep that is ME....Im dog-gone grumpy! I used to scream in a pillow when I got really mad....or go down to the barn and yell at COWS.....!

Well walked with husband all heck and gone in Seaside Oregon! There is an antique Mall there, so we snooped around there. I bought my saddle shoes there...

My husband in his walking in the fog outfit.

Did an hour of Advanced Strength DVD today. The plan for tomorrow is to do Quick Start Pilates DVD

Exercised, went to the farmer's market where I got 4 more dozen ears of corn (they are soooo good). Vince's reaction when he saw the corn? "Quick, call my broker and tell him to invest in dental floss". Then went to the Hallmark store to pick up some of our preordered ornaments, home to cook the corn (yes, I did eat an ear), had breakfast, went in the pool, got dinner ready, went to church, made some zucchini pineapple muffins for this guy at bowling who gave me these humongous zucchini.

Next month I'm hosting Rummikub so started working on this project that I thought of. I'm going to see if we can play in the pool. I got 2 sheets of styrofoam (really, I only needed one), each "tile" will be 3" x2", I'll need to get more styrofoam and hot glue it together to make a "table", now I need to use nail polish or fabric paint for the numbers on the "tiles". Then I'm thinking I'll put strips of velcro on the "table" and on the backs of the "tiles" so they don't slide off. I just haven't figured out how to make the stands to keep the tiles in.

yanniejannie - so sorry about your friend. That's so nice of you to keep everyone updated on the arrangements. Tell me about youth. Jessica most times leaves VA right after work, gets here around 2a.m., then goes back on Sun late morning or early afternoon. I can't get over some of the driving that she's done

Joyce - the instructions for taking the jack out of Lynette's car that were in the book are "remove jack". It didn't say HOW you were to, just to remove jack. According to those directions, you first remove the jack, then the spare tire. Only you can't see the jack unless you remove the spare tire first. Oh fun! Glad you're not flooding. Vince and I both feel that Ken is getting worse, his migranes are coming more frequently. I feel so bad for the guy, but there's nothing I can do.

Gilly and Rosie - safe travels

Welcome everyone new

Carol/peach - I try to read all the post, and there are lots of things I seem to have missed.

Lisa - fingers, toes, eyes, and anything else that can get crossed is crossed for you. Have fun at the wedding

DJ - Our pool gets pretty warm. Vince is on a pool forum and the people in places like Texas and Arizona told him about a "chiller" that lowers the temp of the pool. Basically, you use PVC pipe and drill VERY SMALL holes in it, the water sprays out the pipe and cools off. It has to be a fine mist because we do have the waterfall and that doesn't chill the water enough.

Lenora - what was the cause of your rotator pain, what did they have to do that they were able to do it laproscopically? Vince has been having shoulder pain, he thinks it's rotator cuff. Did they x-ray your shoulder first to be sure it was rotator cuff? So far he's just gotten one cortisone shot and that doesn't seem to have helped. Oh, I see they did xray it. Can't wait to see your pics

gawworthing... - last week at the farmer's market they had these purple peppers. I've never seen them before nor had them. Actually, they're pretty good.

Heather - just love reading about your adventures. What lovely friends you have there

DeeDee - so glad to hear that you're enjoying retirement.

Penny - glad you had a good trip.

Becca - awesome shoes! Can I ask you how much they were? Snazzy hubby you got there

Michele in NC