We broke up because...
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I think she was tired of me worshiping the ground she walked on...0
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he kept kissing the floor and i had just mopped it0
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BeCause he fell out of love
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He had a thing about always wearing his suit when he showered. It was weird.0
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she wanted to get a breast reduction0
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I was tired of him ending up in jail0
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She kept saying she was going out to visit her friend in jail, always came back with her underwear missing0
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He missed the point.0
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She was always waving around her blunt pencils, I never understood her.0
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He didnt speako Ingles!0
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She knew I fantasized that she was Greta Garbo...0
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He kept insisting that I was a time traveler!0
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she wouldn't even give me the time of day0
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He was goin around hoggin everyones day light0
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I was embarrassed by his grass skirt wearing habit0
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She was embarrassed by a lot of things I did and would always be complaining about it.0
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I came home one day and she had cut out the nipples and crotches of all my clothes.0
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He wouldn't eat the booty like groceries0
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I ravaged the groceries,0
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Couldn't keep food in the house0
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Never shared the Goodies and left me with Grits and Oatmeal!0
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I didn't like grits. She left immediately.0
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Dead fish in bed0
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Couldn't tell if I was awake or sleeping0
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Broke my pelvis "experimenting"0
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He never used the safe word... then blamed me for injuries0
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He didnt take his "Vitamins" ;p0
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Tried slipping horse tranquilizers in my food.0
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He kept calling me mom.
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Was in denial that I was the father.0
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