How to approach a girl at the gym?

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  • sheermomentum
    sheermomentum Posts: 827 Member
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    Have you ever struck up a conversation with another man at the gym while you were both working out? That's exactly how you should approach her.
  • Hea1thyGam3r
    Hea1thyGam3r Posts: 1,354 Member
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    Non_Stop wrote: »
    Have you ever struck up a conversation with another man at the gym while you were both working out? That's exactly how you should approach her.

    Spank 'em on the booty and say "Attaboy!"

    I've had that happen before. I was torn between offended and amused. Laughter won out.
  • Char231023
    Char231023 Posts: 700 Member
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    Here's my 5 step process that is sure to make the OP a winner.

    Step 1: bring workout buddy to gym
    Step 2: send buddy to girl with little folded up note
    Step 3: stand in corner
    Step 4: wait until girls friend brings back note
    Step 5: open note to see if she checked "yes" or "no" next to the question,"Do you think I'm cute?"

    That is not good she might like the buddy better.

    It would work better if you brought a cute little kid or a puppy (the puppy is better) to the gym. Have the kid or the puppy bring to the note to the girl. Although she might get confused and think the kid or puppy is cute.
  • _SummerGirl_
    _SummerGirl_ Posts: 3,791 Member
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    Hornsby wrote: »
    TSith wrote: »
    Hornsby wrote: »
    I can't believe how many people would be upset if someone came and talked to them at the gym... Makes me sad.

    You also have to understand it from a woman's point of view. The majority of the guys at my gym prey on girls. I wear a baggy cut off and usually sweat pants to the gym and they still look at me like a piece of meat. It's disgusting. It's very rare to have a genuine guy come up to you at the gym. So from experience, no please don't come up to me. Show me you're interested in another way than interrupting me. If you want to get to k ow me and you think I'm worth the wait, then wait until I'm finished. That's all.

    I'm not saying the above is true for ALL guys..

    Meh, that's a cop out excuse to me. Guys get gawked at as well. Guys get looked at like a piece of meat. Wouldn't keep me from being friendly to someone who approaches me. I don't judge people based on what others do. Sorry.

    Well then if you prefer people feel entitled to your time and attention at any given moment of their choosing with complete disregard for your space and level of comfort on the off-chance that they're being genuinely friendly to you, then carry on. That's your prerogative, not anyone else's.

    I have been out of the game for so long I have no clue however, I guess I just don't understand what is wrong with being friendly in general anymore. It's so bizzare. I have people approach me at the gym and I am never rude. I have actually made friends with some of these guys and they are great people. Would each one of them love it if I wasn't married, absolutely but they are very respectful and genuinely nice people. In the OP's situation, (brace yourself, I'm about to pull out my inner disney princess on ya'll LOL). What if OP and this girl are meant to be, and for fear of being friendly (because apparently its a bad thing to speak to someone in the gym) he never even takes a minute to initiate conversation with her and what was meant to be now will never be, to me that would be devastating. But again, I am the kind of person that finds it fascinating that there are so many people out there with so many things to offer, and different personalities and I get sad to think that I will never be able to meet them all. I think the whole being personable thing is going away in general and that is a damn shame.

    ^^this

    When I was in college and single, everyone talked to each other all the time. Maybe it was just a different culture back then (in da old days...haha) or because it was the campus gym, but we actually socialized there, too. :astonished: the horror. Of course, we were 20...and ya....in college. But we all sorts knew each other, I suppose.

    I guess I don't see what the big deal is. But I've been married for a long time now...and have no idea what it's like out there.
  • hotpink_meow
    hotpink_meow Posts: 1,252 Member
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    Non_Stop wrote: »
    Wear lots of cologne, make really loud grunts while lifting, and whenever she looks your direction flex your muscles. That's what usually works for me.

    Lol nice advice
  • conqueringsquidlette
    conqueringsquidlette Posts: 383 Member
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    ^^this

    When I was in college and single, everyone talked to each other all the time. Maybe it was just a different culture back then (in da old days...haha) or because it was the campus gym, but we actually socialized there, too. :astonished: the horror. Of course, we were 20...and ya....in college. But we all sorts knew each other, I suppose.

    I guess I don't see what the big deal is. But I've been married for a long time now...and have no idea what it's like out there.

    They still do this at my campus gym. Which is why I avoid it like the plague. Nothing like being the old fat chick at the fratboy meat market.
  • _SummerGirl_
    _SummerGirl_ Posts: 3,791 Member
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    ^^this

    When I was in college and single, everyone talked to each other all the time. Maybe it was just a different culture back then (in da old days...haha) or because it was the campus gym, but we actually socialized there, too. :astonished: the horror. Of course, we were 20...and ya....in college. But we all sorts knew each other, I suppose.

    I guess I don't see what the big deal is. But I've been married for a long time now...and have no idea what it's like out there.

    They still do this at my campus gym. Which is why I avoid it like the plague. Nothing like being the old fat chick at the fratboy meat market.

    Maybe it's the culture of a campus gym then. It never bothered me then...

    I admit I go to my gym at non-peak hours now to avoid the crowd.
  • Ssthrnbby
    Ssthrnbby Posts: 731 Member
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    I would be mad someone interrupted me. I'm in the "zone". I agree with a previous post tape a note and protein bar to the car window and a number. :) good luck!!
  • bryantparson
    bryantparson Posts: 516 Member
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    You don't.
  • conqueringsquidlette
    conqueringsquidlette Posts: 383 Member
    edited August 2015
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    Non_Stop wrote: »

    ^^this

    When I was in college and single, everyone talked to each other all the time. Maybe it was just a different culture back then (in da old days...haha) or because it was the campus gym, but we actually socialized there, too. :astonished: the horror. Of course, we were 20...and ya....in college. But we all sorts knew each other, I suppose.

    I guess I don't see what the big deal is. But I've been married for a long time now...and have no idea what it's like out there.

    They still do this at my campus gym. Which is why I avoid it like the plague. Nothing like being the old fat chick at the fratboy meat market.

    Why are people so silly? Take that gym, swap it for a library or some other public place. Most half-way intelligent guys know where you can and can't pick up women. In that sense every place is a meat market.

    Speaking for myself only, I would feel much less vulnerable at a library or some other public place than a gym. It's just not the place where I'm at my best and most confident. I'm not interested in social time at the squat rack.
  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
    edited August 2015
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    Hornsby wrote: »
    TSith wrote: »
    Hornsby wrote: »
    I can't believe how many people would be upset if someone came and talked to them at the gym... Makes me sad.

    You also have to understand it from a woman's point of view. The majority of the guys at my gym prey on girls. I wear a baggy cut off and usually sweat pants to the gym and they still look at me like a piece of meat. It's disgusting. It's very rare to have a genuine guy come up to you at the gym. So from experience, no please don't come up to me. Show me you're interested in another way than interrupting me. If you want to get to k ow me and you think I'm worth the wait, then wait until I'm finished. That's all.

    I'm not saying the above is true for ALL guys..

    Meh, that's a cop out excuse to me. Guys get gawked at as well. Guys get looked at like a piece of meat. Wouldn't keep me from being friendly to someone who approaches me. I don't judge people based on what others do. Sorry.

    Well then if you prefer people feel entitled to your time and attention at any given moment of their choosing with complete disregard for your space and level of comfort on the off-chance that they're being genuinely friendly to you, then carry on. That's your prerogative, not anyone else's.

    I have been out of the game for so long I have no clue however, I guess I just don't understand what is wrong with being friendly in general anymore. It's so bizzare. I have people approach me at the gym and I am never rude. I have actually made friends with some of these guys and they are great people. Would each one of them love it if I wasn't married, absolutely but they are very respectful and genuinely nice people. In the OP's situation, (brace yourself, I'm about to pull out my inner disney princess on ya'll LOL). What if OP and this girl are meant to be, and for fear of being friendly (because apparently its a bad thing to speak to someone in the gym) he never even takes a minute to initiate conversation with her and what was meant to be now will never be, to me that would be devastating. But again, I am the kind of person that finds it fascinating that there are so many people out there with so many things to offer, and different personalities and I get sad to think that I will never be able to meet them all. I think the whole being personable thing is going away in general and that is a damn shame.

    ^^this

    When I was in college and single, everyone talked to each other all the time. Maybe it was just a different culture back then (in da old days...haha) or because it was the campus gym, but we actually socialized there, too. :astonished: the horror. Of course, we were 20...and ya....in college. But we all sorts knew each other, I suppose.

    I guess I don't see what the big deal is. But I've been married for a long time now...and have no idea what it's like out there.

    I socialize at the gym now. Why wouldn't I? I spend a lot of time there and have met some really great people. It's bound to happen seeing the same people all the time. I have even met some ladies...that I approached and some approached me...and am now friends with. ahh, the horror. Nobody was rude, nobody was trying to hit on anyone...just a friendly hello that led to friendships being made in the gym. I mean, most people want friends with similar interests...so why wouldn't you want friends at the gym if you spend more than 15 minutes there?

    ETA: and I just quoted you cause you brought it up.
  • _SummerGirl_
    _SummerGirl_ Posts: 3,791 Member
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    Hornsby wrote: »
    Hornsby wrote: »
    TSith wrote: »
    Hornsby wrote: »
    I can't believe how many people would be upset if someone came and talked to them at the gym... Makes me sad.

    You also have to understand it from a woman's point of view. The majority of the guys at my gym prey on girls. I wear a baggy cut off and usually sweat pants to the gym and they still look at me like a piece of meat. It's disgusting. It's very rare to have a genuine guy come up to you at the gym. So from experience, no please don't come up to me. Show me you're interested in another way than interrupting me. If you want to get to k ow me and you think I'm worth the wait, then wait until I'm finished. That's all.

    I'm not saying the above is true for ALL guys..

    Meh, that's a cop out excuse to me. Guys get gawked at as well. Guys get looked at like a piece of meat. Wouldn't keep me from being friendly to someone who approaches me. I don't judge people based on what others do. Sorry.

    Well then if you prefer people feel entitled to your time and attention at any given moment of their choosing with complete disregard for your space and level of comfort on the off-chance that they're being genuinely friendly to you, then carry on. That's your prerogative, not anyone else's.

    I have been out of the game for so long I have no clue however, I guess I just don't understand what is wrong with being friendly in general anymore. It's so bizzare. I have people approach me at the gym and I am never rude. I have actually made friends with some of these guys and they are great people. Would each one of them love it if I wasn't married, absolutely but they are very respectful and genuinely nice people. In the OP's situation, (brace yourself, I'm about to pull out my inner disney princess on ya'll LOL). What if OP and this girl are meant to be, and for fear of being friendly (because apparently its a bad thing to speak to someone in the gym) he never even takes a minute to initiate conversation with her and what was meant to be now will never be, to me that would be devastating. But again, I am the kind of person that finds it fascinating that there are so many people out there with so many things to offer, and different personalities and I get sad to think that I will never be able to meet them all. I think the whole being personable thing is going away in general and that is a damn shame.

    ^^this

    When I was in college and single, everyone talked to each other all the time. Maybe it was just a different culture back then (in da old days...haha) or because it was the campus gym, but we actually socialized there, too. :astonished: the horror. Of course, we were 20...and ya....in college. But we all sorts knew each other, I suppose.

    I guess I don't see what the big deal is. But I've been married for a long time now...and have no idea what it's like out there.

    I socialize at the gym now. Why wouldn't I? I spend a lot of time there and have met some really great people. It's bound to happen seeing the same people all the time. I have even met some ladies...that I approached and some approached me...and am now friends with. ahh, the horror. Nobody was rude, nobody was trying to hit on anyone...just a friendly hello that led to friendships being made in the gym. I mean, most people want friends with similar interests...so why wouldn't you want friends at the gym if you spend more than 15 minutes there?

    ETA: and I just quoted you cause you brought it up.

    Exactly. Maybe I wasn't clear...but I agree with you. I don't see what the big deal is. I haven't been rude when approached by a guy - or girl - at the gym. It doesn't happen often. Then again, I also hate crowds now (versus how I was in college) and go to the gym when it isn't packed with people.



  • rjmudlax13
    rjmudlax13 Posts: 900 Member
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    Hornsby wrote: »
    Hornsby wrote: »
    TSith wrote: »
    Hornsby wrote: »
    I can't believe how many people would be upset if someone came and talked to them at the gym... Makes me sad.

    You also have to understand it from a woman's point of view. The majority of the guys at my gym prey on girls. I wear a baggy cut off and usually sweat pants to the gym and they still look at me like a piece of meat. It's disgusting. It's very rare to have a genuine guy come up to you at the gym. So from experience, no please don't come up to me. Show me you're interested in another way than interrupting me. If you want to get to k ow me and you think I'm worth the wait, then wait until I'm finished. That's all.

    I'm not saying the above is true for ALL guys..

    Meh, that's a cop out excuse to me. Guys get gawked at as well. Guys get looked at like a piece of meat. Wouldn't keep me from being friendly to someone who approaches me. I don't judge people based on what others do. Sorry.

    Well then if you prefer people feel entitled to your time and attention at any given moment of their choosing with complete disregard for your space and level of comfort on the off-chance that they're being genuinely friendly to you, then carry on. That's your prerogative, not anyone else's.

    I have been out of the game for so long I have no clue however, I guess I just don't understand what is wrong with being friendly in general anymore. It's so bizzare. I have people approach me at the gym and I am never rude. I have actually made friends with some of these guys and they are great people. Would each one of them love it if I wasn't married, absolutely but they are very respectful and genuinely nice people. In the OP's situation, (brace yourself, I'm about to pull out my inner disney princess on ya'll LOL). What if OP and this girl are meant to be, and for fear of being friendly (because apparently its a bad thing to speak to someone in the gym) he never even takes a minute to initiate conversation with her and what was meant to be now will never be, to me that would be devastating. But again, I am the kind of person that finds it fascinating that there are so many people out there with so many things to offer, and different personalities and I get sad to think that I will never be able to meet them all. I think the whole being personable thing is going away in general and that is a damn shame.

    ^^this

    When I was in college and single, everyone talked to each other all the time. Maybe it was just a different culture back then (in da old days...haha) or because it was the campus gym, but we actually socialized there, too. :astonished: the horror. Of course, we were 20...and ya....in college. But we all sorts knew each other, I suppose.

    I guess I don't see what the big deal is. But I've been married for a long time now...and have no idea what it's like out there.

    I socialize at the gym now. Why wouldn't I? I spend a lot of time there and have met some really great people. It's bound to happen seeing the same people all the time. I have even met some ladies...that I approached and some approached me...and am now friends with. ahh, the horror. Nobody was rude, nobody was trying to hit on anyone...just a friendly hello that led to friendships being made in the gym. I mean, most people want friends with similar interests...so why wouldn't you want friends at the gym if you spend more than 15 minutes there?

    ETA: and I just quoted you cause you brought it up.

    Agreed. I've met some of the coolest, nicest people at the gym. Both men and women. If I politely try to start a friendly conversation with someone and they act cold and uninterested I get the point and leave them alone. Not that difficult folks. It's called being a decent social human being. I know it might not be as "safe" as your cozy little Internet world.
  • crssftlv
    crssftlv Posts: 715 Member
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    Non_Stop wrote: »
    Wear lots of cologne, make really loud grunts while lifting, and whenever she looks your direction flex your muscles. That's what usually works for me.

    Lol yeah right..... seriously though you should definitely ask her out if you're feeling it. I'd wait until she's done or right before she starts. You could try in between sets but honestly that kind of bothers me too. I'm always nice though when someone starts talking to me no matter what I'm doing.
  • crssftlv
    crssftlv Posts: 715 Member
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    Hornsby wrote: »
    I can't believe how many people would be upset if someone came and talked to them at the gym... Makes me sad.

    Do you talk to people at the gym? Lol
  • RiverMelSong
    RiverMelSong Posts: 456 Member
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    TL:DR all the responses so here's my two bits:
    -if she's dressed head to toe in matching lululemon, has her hair, makeup and nails done and is glistening, chances are she's there to pick up guys.
    -if she's lifting heavy and sweating like a h**ker in church, she's only returning your gaze because you're creeping her out
    :) you're welcome

    This. So much.

    If you think you're getting all the right signals then by all means approach her, but only after she's finished her workout (not in between sets, when she's actually getting ready to leave)

    I've been approached by guys at the gym before and I ended up never going back there. This had nothing to do with the guy per se but it was more about me feeling extremely self concious and unattractive while sweating my *kitten* off.
    Knowing someone noticed me (for whatever reason) made me feel very, very uncomfortable.
  • 3AAnn3
    3AAnn3 Posts: 3,054 Member
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    When I get approached in the gym, I'm totally awkward, but never offended. I'd say, just go for it. Say hi?
  • 3AAnn3
    3AAnn3 Posts: 3,054 Member
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    @jadob123
    I suspect you believe anyone not wooed by your charm, must have some screws loose.
    I call that person wise.
  • 3AAnn3
    3AAnn3 Posts: 3,054 Member
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    You sure spend a lot of time talking about how old I am. Not a very good insult... Why not come up with a different POS to spread all over the internet about me?
  • katnroyal1987
    katnroyal1987 Posts: 3,449 Member
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    I try to disappear at the gym. So I unfortunately am unsure how to help you handle this situation. :)