"Too heavy" he said to me

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Replies

  • rhianna818
    rhianna818 Posts: 85 Member
    Yeah, that really sucks. Its hard to hear. Especially after 4 months. But in the long run it was better the told you. I mean, he could have left the part about your weight out of it tho. That is the part that makes him a dbag. Having a preference is fine. I've had to be the one to tell someone I wasn't interested (not bc of weight but other physical features) and it was so hard to find the courage to say it, but I took into account the other persons feelings and wasn't mean. Good luck to you and you will find someone who will love everything about you! The before and after picture :smiley:
  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Thank you
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    So it sounds like to me that was his "excuse" to get out of it. When he realized that after 4 months he wasn't getting whatever he wanted from you (my guess is sex since you specifically said "no sex involved"). Ugh, be glad you weren't having sex with him.
  • allaboutthecake
    allaboutthecake Posts: 1,535 Member
    No chemistry after 4 months of having fun? You were his friend. He's a boy. You're 40. Don't waste another thought. Go have fun with your girlfriends instead. Save the dating for a Man, not a boy.
  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    I love sex, he was the one not puttin out LOL! Thanks
    lisalsd1 wrote: »
    So it sounds like to me that was his "excuse" to get out of it. When he realized that after 4 months he wasn't getting whatever he wanted from you (my guess is sex since you specifically said "no sex involved"). Ugh, be glad you weren't having sex with him.

  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Lol yes and girl night out sounds good thanks
    allaboutthecake wrote: »
    No chemistry after 4 months of having fun? You were his friend. He's a boy. You're 40. Don't waste another thought. Go have fun with your girlfriends instead. Save the dating for a Man, not a boy.

  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Thank you
  • tfinch35
    tfinch35 Posts: 25 Member
    What an *kitten*! I agree u dodged an emotional bullet and u will prevail! Good luck with all u set out to accomplish for YOU :)
  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Thank you so much
  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Thank you!
    PinkPixiexox wrote: »
    You definitely dodged a bullet with that shallow little fool :)
    You are beautiful - regardless of whether you're 100lbs overweight or hitting your goal, you are beautiful. The best and only thing you can do for this loser is pity him. He has lost out.

    Best of luck - and remember, do this for you and only you.

  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Yeah Thank you
    JaneiR36 wrote: »
    Ugh, hate time wasters! Girl spend your time on something or someone that is not flaky. Good riddance

  • smithie092015
    smithie092015 Posts: 56 Member
    oh_happy_day wrote: »
    You dodged a bullet. He's not worth your time or energy. Don't try to figure him out.

    Truer words were never spoken. I'm sorry that happened to you. His negativity and cowardice say nothing about you and everything about him. Let it all go. Good things ahead :smiley:
  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Thank you!
  • kg047
    kg047 Posts: 95 Member
    Do not let him "rent" space in your head! He has clearly moved on and now is the time for you to do the same. Ensure that you are losing weight for YOURSELF and no one else. You have so much more to gain in getting your MIND and BODY healthy. Be strong in all that you do and think about going forward. Strong bodies and strong minds!
  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Thank you
  • tcarmen85
    tcarmen85 Posts: 85 Member
    Thanks
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Meh. People are attracted to what they are attracted to. I never got offended at men for not being attracted to me. HOWEVER, if he strung you along, he certainly should not have!
  • trying4real
    trying4real Posts: 113 Member
    dragthewaters91 wrote: »
    Sounds like you dodged a bullet there!

    If you want to lose weight it should be for you, not for some d-bag.

    love this ...so true
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
    People will want what they want, the bottom line is if you are happy with yourself his words are irrelevant. If you are not happy with yourself and his words struck a wound towards an issue you already have then you need to take that pain, turn it into motivation, and become the person you would rather be. Either way good luck in your ventures, the world is big and life is too short to live for one singular moment or someone's happiness.
  • owensy12
    owensy12 Posts: 88 Member
    Seriously!!?? What an awful thing to say. Maybe you dodged a bullet there.
  • yvonnelefave
    yvonnelefave Posts: 1 Member
    dragthewaters91 wrote: »
    Sounds like you dodged a bullet there!

    If you want to lose weight it should be for you, not for some d-bag.

    They're absolutely right! Be who you want to be and don't guilt yourself into changing for someone else; you can't maintain changes that way. But it never hurts to get a kick start. You're on the right track :)
    Ps: he sounds like a jerk.
  • lessismoreohio
    lessismoreohio Posts: 910 Member
    I'm sorry to hear this. Trust me when I say you're better off without him. Please know that you'll eventually find the right man who will love you for you and not be so concerned with the superficial.
  • donna70s
    donna70s Posts: 84 Member
    Not a nice thing to say but Credit where it's due he had the decency to tell you.
  • sgfoster110
    sgfoster110 Posts: 60 Member
    Too bad. I know you would have worked on your weight! He needs to love you for who you are. You are concious of your weight, no one has to tell you. Hang in there. You will meet someone who loves you the way you are.
  • jsmestflowers
    jsmestflowers Posts: 52 Member
    I'm gonna give it to you straight..as a man.. There are women that are heavier than I would go out with (I'm totally married, so really not applicable) Now here is the thing.. I'm not blind, I am not going to all of a sudden have a realization that so and so is miracle to big for me! That's just stupid. The guy saw what you looked like and for months was ok..then he just all of a sudden...please. He is a tool plain and simple. Your better off without him. And the sick part is when you lose the weight you want, you probably would not want the loser anyway..really..not kidding. I have seen several women, got with a loser cause they were heavy and thought that was all they could get, only to latter lose the weight AND the loser :) Stay strong woman..and that dude. He is a fool.
  • jsmestflowers
    jsmestflowers Posts: 52 Member
    jgnatca wrote: »
    In your case I'm guessing he worried what his buddies thought, romancing you.
    Real men don't worry about silly crap like that, my buddies support me, or they can go to hell. Sounds harsh, sorry, but that's real man stuff there.
    This guy was obviously not one.

  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,668 Member
    Unpopular opinion alert....
    I actually thought his text was tasteful. It hurt to read, I'm sure, but he was trying to be gentle.
    Looking at the other side, perhaps he enjoyed spending time with you so much that he wanted to try getting past the physical part, but then decided it was a deal breaker for him. He should have made this decision earlier for sure, but 4 months really isn't that long in the scheme of things.

    Pick yourself up and move on. If you want to lose weight, great, but it shouldn't have anything to do with revenge or anyone else.

  • phildog49
    phildog49 Posts: 31 Member
    I'm guessing he just used that as an excuse... at least you found out he was an *kitten* early enough.
  • Frankenbarbie01
    Frankenbarbie01 Posts: 432 Member
    tcarmen85 wrote: »
    This was the tex I received from him "I really do enjoy hanging out with you and you are lots of fun. There's a lot of characteristics about you that I do like. However I'm afraid of myself. I've never dated anyone heavier than me. I'm not sure how I would handle that in the long run. That may not be fair to you. that may not be fair to you. And perhaps I'm the one with the problem.
    karyabc wrote: »
    :/ please elaborate the exact words he told you , like "yeah you're actually too heave so no thank you? "

    uuhhhggg!!!.....His comments and actions say waaaay more about him than it does you! As awkward and difficult as you feel right now, this individual is really not worth your time or effort. I've been in that position too, he said flat out "...why don't you lose some weight?" and that was in a long term relationship. The only advise I can give is you gotta love yourself FIRST. Only then can you make the difficult decisions as to what you'll accept in your life. If I was still in that old relationship (..with myself) and my ex said that to me today?....I'm pretty sure I'd punch him in the neck, throw his crap out in the street, celebrate the demise of a toxic and unhealthy relationship and no looking back. Trust me, when you love and accept yourself more you will attract the right kind of love, and when it happens its amazing!
  • cazting53
    cazting53 Posts: 4 Member
    What arrogance! Tell him you were doing him a favour hanging out with such a small minded man. And now you're on the look out for a much bigger person who isn't afraid of a little booty !
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