Significant other and their habits..Break up or Suck it up??

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  • deluxmary2000
    deluxmary2000 Posts: 981 Member
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    It sounds like he would be better off without you.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
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    Dr. John Harvey Kellogg:
    My own stools, Sir, are gigantic and have no more odor than a hot biscuit.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,339 Member
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    UltimateRBF wrote: »
    senecarr wrote: »
    PrizePopple wrote: »
    I'd like to point out that she's not married to him, and it doesn't even sound like they live together as she says "the only time the home reeks is when the SO is here". I'm thinking he's dodging a bullet on both counts there.
    15 years + kids, but not living together? Lot more going on than who's poop stinks.
    I'll also point out, the OP's language doesn't even say it is a him. Also, she refers to the kids as her kids, not their kids, so maybe the kids aren't the SO's?

    Impossible. It has to be a man. Girls don't poop.

    Girls poop, but it never smells.
  • ChantalBremner
    ChantalBremner Posts: 5 Member
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    You're the one that wants to be vegan. Don't punish someone because they're not doing the same things you are.
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
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    i truly hope that either this is a troll, she leaves him and does him the favor, or she gets counseling.
  • yusaku02
    yusaku02 Posts: 3,476 Member
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    kathrynjean_ wrote: »
    I am a vegan and my long-term partner is an omnivore. In fact, he loves meat. He doesn't just like it - he loves it. And cheese. And eggs.

    There was a period of time when we first started dating that people would ask me if I was hoping/thinking/trying to get him to "go vegan". My response has always been no. From my perspective, if he had some sort of a hidden agenda and was trying to get me to eat meat again, I would find it hurtful. And I would be upset and wouldn't put up with it. So why would I think it's okay for me to do that to him? Being vegan is something that works well for me and has for a long time. It's important to me. On the flip side, his diet works well for him and it's not my place to try to change him in that way. I don't care if he eats meat.

    What I do care about is that he cares about ME. And how he shows me that is by being respectful of my dietary choices and restrictions by not pressuring me to eat in a way that I am uncomfortable with.

    It's okay to have boundaries and to talk about those as a couple. I don't like cooking meat so he cooks it himself. He doesn't use my cast iron cookware for meat (because you never really wash it) and although it doesn't really make a difference, we have separate cutting boards. If we go out to eat together as a couple, we tend to go to a lot of Asian/Vietnamese places because they are often great for vegan options but have a ton of stuff with meat in them too. That's it. It's never been an issue.

    I *personally* think that if you are wanting to end your relationship over this, there are some bigger issues at play. That's fine. But it might be helpful to reflect on that and figure out what they are ... Just my 2 cents.

    You're a unicorn, you know that right?
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,576 Member
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    I haven't read most of the replies but in my experience if asking "should I break up" is even an option then you should step back and look at the relationship overall. People change, and sometimes those changes lead in directions that aren't compatible. You might consider couples therapy, but if switching to vegetarianism is a requirement for continuing the relationship it might already be over. Best of luck to you whatever you decide.
  • Ginnygirl5
    Ginnygirl5 Posts: 55 Member
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    I would say there is something else going on. If I was you I would go talk to a councler, before I walked away from 15 yrs. good luck to you
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
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    OP, what happens if your kids decide they want to eat meat when they are old enough to make their own decisions? Will you refuse to kiss them or have them in the house?
  • erimethia_fekre
    erimethia_fekre Posts: 317 Member
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    Abby_C2014 wrote: »
    I am the same with my husband, but we are not vegans. I only have a problem when my SO eats something that isn't in our meal plan. What I do is I initiate one on one talk with him in regards of "What foods to avoid" then explain all the reasons behind it. <b>My husband is an understanding man so he agrees immediately. </b>Anyway, go for what you think is the best for your relationship. As for my husband, he may have things I hate. For example! Leaving the bathroom floors wet, snoring really loud at night, hoarding all three blankets in our bed, farts in the car without notifying me, and I can go on forever. However, I love him. All the good things he does outweighs everything else I hate.

    I don't think he agree because he agrees. He might just want to shut you up.

    OP: you made up your mind, why are you posting this?
  • lejoie
    lejoie Posts: 51 Member
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    My heart breaks for your partner. Breaking up over dietary differences is absurd, unless you were deathly allergic to a food he eats and your very life is in danger as a result.

    But this... this is strange. I'm sure your confidence level is up due to weight loss and you're feeling a bit high and mighty. Step back and realize love is bigger than you've trivialized it to be.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
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    Poor guy. Sounds like the best thing for him would be for you to just let him go. You've clearly moved on already and have no regards for him anyway.
  • betuel75
    betuel75 Posts: 776 Member
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    i havent had time to go through all 4 pages, but im curious, has she come back and said anything?
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    betuel75 wrote: »
    i havent had time to go through all 4 pages, but im curious, has she come back and said anything?

    Nope.
  • Kissimmee_Disney
    Kissimmee_Disney Posts: 24 Member
    edited October 2015
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    if i look at this post**juuuuust so** it almost resembles an actual real thing

    What the heck is that supposed to mean?? Fake?? I think not!
  • Kissimmee_Disney
    Kissimmee_Disney Posts: 24 Member
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    Kalikel wrote: »
    If this is not a joke, you should hang on to that guy.

    Not a joke
  • Kissimmee_Disney
    Kissimmee_Disney Posts: 24 Member
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    kalynbreann357 wrote: »
    This is very off putting... How can you be with someone for 15 years and decide to leave all because they don't follow the same diet as you? You need a reality check, tell your SO how you're feeling and I'm sure they'll give you one.

    I have told him...Several times..It's is way more than JUST his eating habits.It's many things.Fast food 2-3x a day,lying about losing weight and then when he comes home he is bigger than he was the last time he was home..He is an over the road truck driver, and regardless of what people think there are ways to eat healthier.It's all about choices.He chooses to eat junk, he chooses to lie about his weight ( not just to me) He chooses to not do anything about it.When I mention to him the fact that he may end up with health problems that may be fatal one day he says he has lived a full life (at 45) This tells me that he's rather be a lazy unhealthy person than to change his unhealthy ways so he can be there for his family.We are married, and we do have kids. He has told me several times he will not allow me to divorce him, so yeah...There's a reality check. And it wouldn't be for the "same diet as me" reason...it would be for ALL the reasons..Not to mention he's gone for a long amount of time.
  • Kissimmee_Disney
    Kissimmee_Disney Posts: 24 Member
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    moyer566 wrote: »
    i truly hope that either this is a troll, she leaves him and does him the favor, or she gets counseling.

    I'm not a troll (but I guess I sorta sound like one LOL)
  • senecarr
    senecarr Posts: 5,377 Member
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    Kissimmee_Disney wrote: »
    kalynbreann357 wrote: »
    This is very off putting... How can you be with someone for 15 years and decide to leave all because they don't follow the same diet as you? You need a reality check, tell your SO how you're feeling and I'm sure they'll give you one.

    I have told him...Several times..It's is way more than JUST his eating habits.It's many things.Fast food 2-3x a day,lying about losing weight and then when he comes home he is bigger than he was the last time he was home..He is an over the road truck driver, and regardless of what people think there are ways to eat healthier.It's all about choices.He chooses to eat junk, he chooses to lie about his weight ( not just to me) He chooses to not do anything about it.When I mention to him the fact that he may end up with health problems that may be fatal one day he says he has lived a full life (at 45) This tells me that he's rather be a lazy unhealthy person than to change his unhealthy ways so he can be there for his family.We are married, and we do have kids. He has told me several times he will not allow me to divorce him, so yeah...There's a reality check. And it wouldn't be for the "same diet as me" reason...it would be for ALL the reasons..Not to mention he's gone for a long amount of time.

    So like a lot of people predicted - there's more than just vegetarian issues.
    I'd be pretty concerned about someone that uses language like they "won't let you divorce them".

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