All the Lies

135

Replies

  • mommarnurse
    mommarnurse Posts: 515 Member
    I think I just envisioned that my weight wasn't that big. (It was.)
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member

    It was/is for-real asthma (diagnosed). I still have it, but the symptoms are better and exercise doesn't trigger it as much unless the air is really cold.

    Well I'm for sure glad your symptoms are at least a little reduced! Keep on Keepin on!
  • tashatashae
    tashatashae Posts: 311 Member
    i use to pretend the weight doesn't bother me pile on make up, put on a pair of heels and pretend my feet doesn't hurt. At the end of the day when i strip back all the layers i don't like it. don't like it one bit.
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    i use to pretend the weight doesn't bother me pile on make up, put on a pair of heels and pretend my feet doesn't hurt. At the end of the day when i strip back all the layers i don't like it. don't like it one bit.

    I so get this! I can look pretty good if I wear the exact right clothes and use contouring make up on my face and (oh the shame) where my collar bone SHOULD be. But when you see yourself undressed, you know the truth. Here's for looking great naked as well as clothed!
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
    I always told myself that I was fat because I made good food choices but ate too much and at night. Yeah, I know. not how it works. Plus, what part of the hoagie was a good food choice? Maybe the lettuce? I've since learned to put down the cheesesteak.
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    .................................................................@enterdanger Is that picture of you and the POPE? Or am I as sleep deprived as I think I am??
  • pearso21123
    pearso21123 Posts: 351 Member
    clgaram720 wrote: »
    That my husband needs viagra, and not that I need to get back to being a healthy weight (or better).

    LOL- I love this! That was part of what finally triggered my weight loss. I'd ask my husband if I was fat (like it wasn't obvious) and he'd say "You're a little plump, but I love you no matter what." I finally had enough and said to him, "I know you love me, but I want you to be attracted to me." And now he is again. So we're both benefiting from my weight loss!
  • sweety510
    sweety510 Posts: 99 Member
    My reason was that I was just too comfortable and knowing that my husband loves me regardless what size I was, It didn't matter what other people think of me (we met when I was thin btw). After having 3 kids the weight just stayed on for years and deep down inside I did hated how I looked and how terrible I felt. But I kept thinking to myself that I didn't need to impress others as long if hubs loves me thats all that should matter. One day I went to the ER my heart wasn't feeling too good, thought I was having a heart attack. Turns out that I didn't, but the doc said I may have heart palpitations so to watch for it. That was a big wake up call so I gave up on coffee then that led to giving up pop, started feeling way better enough to exercise and that led to clean eating and a well balance diet and cutting out all the process and junk food. Although I have 10 lbs to go before I reach my goal weight, now I am feeling so much better, I am way more healthier and active then I ever was before (not feeling sluggish anymore and my heart isn't beating a thousand mph anymore lol) and I love the way I look in clothes and I can even fit in some clothing I haven't wore since high school. Had I kept going down the path I was going before I would of definitely ended up having heart disease or something, because in my family genes they all have high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes. I feel very lucky that I took control of my situation early enough to prevent that from happening.
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    clgaram720 wrote: »
    That my husband needs viagra, and not that I need to get back to being a healthy weight (or better).

    LOL- I love this! That was part of what finally triggered my weight loss. I'd ask my husband if I was fat (like it wasn't obvious) and he'd say "You're a little plump, but I love you no matter what." I finally had enough and said to him, "I know you love me, but I want you to be attracted to me." And now he is again. So we're both benefiting from my weight loss!

    This has been a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE sore spot for my ego. I could probably go the rest of my life at my current weight and be okay except for this. I'm a very physical person. I NEED him to want me. It's not a want, I absolutely require that to be the case for our relationship to work. But it was unfair of me to put that burden solely on him. If I want him to want me, I need to meet him halfway by being desirable. (I have to add my feminist caveat and say this is not the end all be all of our relationship, but it's so large a part of my self esteem that I think it could really hurt us. So it's a me thing, not a male/female thing.)
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    sweety510 wrote: »
    My reason was that I was just too comfortable and knowing that my husband loves me regardless what size I was, It didn't matter what other people think of me (we met when I was thin btw). After having 3 kids the weight just stayed on for years and deep down inside I did hated how I looked and how terrible I felt. But I kept thinking to myself that I didn't need to impress others as long if hubs loves me thats all that should matter. One day I went to the ER my heart wasn't feeling too good, thought I was having a heart attack. Turns out that I didn't, but the doc said I may have heart palpitations so to watch for it. That was a big wake up call so I gave up on coffee then that led to giving up pop, started feeling way better enough to exercise and that led to clean eating and a well balance diet and cutting out all the process and junk food. Although I have 10 lbs to go before I reach my goal weight, now I am feeling so much better, I am way more healthier and active then I ever was before (not feeling sluggish anymore and my heart isn't beating a thousand mph anymore lol) and I love the way I look in clothes and I can even fit in some clothing I haven't wore since high school. Had I kept going down the path I was going before I would of definitely ended up having heart disease or something, because in my family genes they all have high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes. I feel very lucky that I took control of my situation early enough to prevent that from happening.

    That's a great piece of motivation there. I think it's important that we all remind ourselves, ladies and gentlemen, that having your spouse love you as you are is all well and good (not to mention a sign of good character on their part) but that it's unfair for us to let them love us if we're also gonna allow ourselves to die first. I know that's a little blunt, but how much could I really love MY man if I let him love me unhealthy and never tried to get healthy and left him and our son all alone? Weight loss, and getting into a healthy lifestyle is the gift that gives ALL around. And I think it's a pretty special way to love someone, by saying "I'm willing to work hard because I don't want to leave you alone, I want to be here for you"
  • sweety510
    sweety510 Posts: 99 Member
    Oh yes definitely! Although I didn't mention it above, after getting out of the ER my kids was a big factor in what made me change. I wanted to stay with them as long as I possibly can, couldn't bear the thought of them losing their mother at such a young age.
  • _stumpyshark_
    _stumpyshark_ Posts: 11 Member
    I have a few lies I told myself.

    I'm not really "that big".
    I'm not the fattest one in the family.
    I'm still very cute.
    Everything is made for tiny people.

    I'm slowly working on stopping the lies.
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    I have a few lies I told myself.

    I'm not really "that big".
    I'm not the fattest one in the family.
    I'm still very cute.
    Everything is made for tiny people.

    I'm slowly working on stopping the lies.

    Hey, ANY progress is progress on that front. Thanks for sharing! I have told myself that same thing (I'm thinner than mom/sister so I'm the thinnest in the family!...like that matters ha ha!)
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    sweety510 wrote: »
    Oh yes definitely! Although I didn't mention it above, after getting out of the ER my kids was a big factor in what made me change. I wanted to stay with them as long as I possibly can, couldn't bear the thought of them losing their mother at such a young age.

    That's so beautiful! I just don't think it gets mentioned often enough or loud enough how much a weight loss journey is about the people we love and NOT just about ourselves! (Although if you saw my Fashion board on Pinterest it's obviously totally about me LOL)
  • wildflowergypsy38
    wildflowergypsy38 Posts: 25 Member
    I used say, tomorrow, I'm too stressed/I've had a tough day/ people accept me/ I don't need to be thin I'm 40/my fiancé loves me anyway and I need and deserve this treat, except my treats had me eating nearly 4000 calories a day and weighing 200+ pounds at only 5ft 2 in tall!!
    Crazy thing is I used to bike/hike/run and was very healthy 10years ago!
    Since then I've used stress at work/social anxiety and personal trauma as an excuse to gorge for 10 years!!

    Thankfully I'm in a good place now and my healthy important, a fiancé who adores me but is also supportive and truthful about my health!!

    The catalyst for me was I've 2 herniated discs in my lumbar region and 1 in my upper back. Lots of pain and carrying an extra 35kg+ is not helping!!
    I had no energy always moody and felt stuffed/constipated all the damn time.
    11 days ago I thought I've enough.
    I've cut out meat, cut dairy drastically and eat better and I move more.
    Results are I've lost the bloat and I'm more energised and in a better mood/able to deal with day to day life.
    It's the best decision I've made in a long time. I miss the healthy happy me trapped in rolls of fat/exhaustion and Chrinic Pain!! After all I'm only 40!! Life in the old dog yet!!! :smiley:
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
    I always told myself that I was fat because I made good food choices but ate too much and at night. Yeah, I know. not how it works. Plus, what part of the hoagie was a good food choice? Maybe the lettuce? I've since learned to put down the cheesesteak.

    Yep. Me and the pontiff. Chillin.

    Ok, maybe it's me and a cardboard cutout of the Pontiff. Who can tell?
  • jesikalovesyou
    jesikalovesyou Posts: 172 Member
    I always told myself that I was fat because I made good food choices but ate too much and at night. Yeah, I know. not how it works. Plus, what part of the hoagie was a good food choice? Maybe the lettuce? I've since learned to put down the cheesesteak.

    Yep. Me and the pontiff. Chillin.

    Ok, maybe it's me and a cardboard cutout of the Pontiff. Who can tell?

    I was thinking he had the same pose every time he took a picture! I've seen them all over Facebook! Or a cutout, that makes more sense.
  • Diana_GettingFit
    Diana_GettingFit Posts: 458 Member
    I went from being a skinny teenager to ballooning up to 214 lbs. The weight crept on me gradually through my 20's. I wasn't happy with the way I looked, only looked in the mirror when I had to. The biggest lie I told myself was I'll do something about it one day. Then I became diabetic. It still took me a few years to get the willpower to make the necessary changes. I joined MFP and started running. Now I'm down 50 lbs from my heaviest and I'm off my diabetes medication.
  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
    I'm getting older
    I don't look that bad
    I should be able to eat what everyone else eats
  • Zombella
    Zombella Posts: 491 Member
    edited October 2015
    The biggest lie that I ever told myself was a few years ago when I said (out loud) that I was happy with my body the way that it was. I wasn't and haven't been for a long time.

    I have been saying recently that x (lack of sleep, feeling crappy) is the reason as to why I am off or z is the reason. No. I am letting these things effect me. I feel crappy because of my weight. I have to be stronger and say nothing will stand in my way.
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    I always told myself that I was fat because I made good food choices but ate too much and at night. Yeah, I know. not how it works. Plus, what part of the hoagie was a good food choice? Maybe the lettuce? I've since learned to put down the cheesesteak.

    Yep. Me and the pontiff. Chillin.

    Ok, maybe it's me and a cardboard cutout of the Pontiff. Who can tell?

    Oh LOL that's awesome. I didn't even notice, my mom recently converted to Catholicism and she noticed reading over my shoulder and I was like "WOAH YOU'RE RIGHT ZOMFG" That's hilarious, give that cut out a big hug for me ha ha
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    I'm getting older
    I don't look that bad
    I should be able to eat what everyone else eats

    This right here. I still off and on feel a little resentment toward my friends (all of whom are skinny and eat whatever they want), but mostly these days I just try to accept that everyone is different and more I worry about them eating unhealthily cause I care about them!
  • Ponkeen
    Ponkeen Posts: 147 Member
    Told myself I was just naturally fat and couldn't do anything about it. Everyone else in the family was fat, so we must just be fat people. But as soon as i started actually calorie counting and trying to lose weight and be healthier, the weight started peeling off. Funny, that.
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    Ponkeen wrote: »
    Told myself I was just naturally fat and couldn't do anything about it. Everyone else in the family was fat, so we must just be fat people. But as soon as i started actually calorie counting and trying to lose weight and be healthier, the weight started peeling off. Funny, that.

    So true! I'm a huge science buff, so I found every reason in the book to tell myself I was just this way or that way and had no power to change it. Like you, my whole genetic family is on the larger side. So it was easy to accept that this was how things would be for me. But eventually we find that "this is how things are" really means "This is how things are.......... unless I change the rules of the game."!
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,632 Member
    That it was OK for me to be fat because I was reasonably fit, strong, and (mostly) healthy. I read a number of things suggesting that being active was truly more important than body weight per se to health. (This may be true in a general sense, but my torn knee meniscus *is* feeling ever so much better now that I'm down 48 pounds.) And yes, I really *was* reasonably fit, strong and active, at least for my age. Still am.

    That I probably had a slow metabolism. (It turns out it might actually be a little bit on the fast side for my age and such - I'm still losing half a pound or so a week at a calorie level that MFP seems to think is right on the edge of maintenance. Speculation: I may be a little more muscular than most women my age, from that activity thing, thus burn a teensy bit more.)
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    That it was OK for me to be fat because I was reasonably fit, strong, and (mostly) healthy. I read a number of things suggesting that being active was truly more important than body weight per se to health. (This may be true in a general sense, but my torn knee meniscus *is* feeling ever so much better now that I'm down 48 pounds.) And yes, I really *was* reasonably fit, strong and active, at least for my age. Still am.

    That I probably had a slow metabolism. (It turns out it might actually be a little bit on the fast side for my age and such - I'm still losing half a pound or so a week at a calorie level that MFP seems to think is right on the edge of maintenance. Speculation: I may be a little more muscular than most women my age, from that activity thing, thus burn a teensy bit more.)

    Great self-assessment! The path to weight loss starts first with self-analyzation, second with diet and exercise imo!
  • BurnWithBarn2015
    BurnWithBarn2015 Posts: 1,026 Member
    edited October 2015
    I didn't lie to myself or searched for any excuses to lose weight or not lose weight. I just didn't. I accepted the way i was because i was doing fine and feel good ( enough).
    Of course now i feel thousand times better lol.

    But what i was shocked about for 2 weeks ago was something i was confronted with.

    I lost a lot of weight now and i was cleaning out my wardrobe again. I only kept 2 jeans and shirt from a year ago ( when i started).
    So everything in boxes and off with it......while doing this i also bumped into those 2 jeans and just for fun i kept one in front of me.
    I was first smiling look how much i lost. Than like a hammer it hit me. OMG how big was i really!!!!
    Totally shocked for hours.
    The realization that that pants was even tight for me. That i just fitted in that stretch jeans. Now that was my biggest eye opener and to be honest it was shaking my world that day.

    I am a pretty stubborn person. And i can say when i do something i do it. I take things simple, dont make a problem of it. And dont moan about it. Self insured yes i would say, never had any doubt to do this or if i could do it.
    I just did.
    I told myself "i have no excuses to not lose this weight" So i did!
    Still want a bit more but not in a hurry lol

    But that day standing there in front of the mirror was very emotional. I know i will never gain that much again or let it come that far.
    I know now that i was a very big girl and that my eyes and mind looked at myself at least some sizes less than i really was. They lied to me! Big time.
    Staring at myself there was all kinds of feelings and mixed emotions,
    **Anger...why didn't i do this 5 years ago.
    **Shock... i look pretty good now
    **Sad....what time did i waste
    **happy...dang i feel good now i am strong and fit!
    **Proud....I did it! easie peasie :)
    **humorous...think of all the nice new clothes i have to start buying again to fill this space
    **Unbelief....is that really me standing there behind that jeans i was holding up.
    **Be trait....Damm i looked at myself the wrong way

    ***oh nooooo is that a wrinkle?....rofl

    Well like i said before, it was not the time before i started to lose weight. I just did. I fall bad one day, to sick. Picked myself up and said to myself oke time to lose weight. That was it.
    No hesitations no doubts.

    But that day 2 weeks ago was like somebody smashed me big time and i really needed the whole day to get my head on right. And accept the fact my eyes and mind were lying to me for a long time hehehehee


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  • noraron
    noraron Posts: 31 Member
    The biggest lie I told myself was that allowing myself to binge eat was a treat, a reward for working hard or a consolation for being stressed or unhappy. In reality, I was just shovelling the food in, not tasting it, taking no pleasure in it, until I made myself so full that it hurt. Binge eating was more of a punishment than a treat!
  • Enic03
    Enic03 Posts: 173 Member
    I only gained 2 pounds? No big deal, that will come off by the end of the week. Oh, another 2 pounds? I'll start my workout tomorrow. Another 5 pounds? Well, that is only 5 up from the last time I weighed in so once I lose that it will be no time at all until I am in shape again!.....

    Almost 20 pounds later you see how this went
  • glassofroses
    glassofroses Posts: 653 Member
    I recovered from two eating disorders (not related to body image) in my teens so I went the other way and ate everything as a sort of FU to my EDs. I developed some very disordered eating habits over the years but I am breaking them every day. Another reason was I didn't care what I weighed. I was always happy in my own skin. Sure, I could lose a few pounds but I still wore nice clothes and took care of myself. It wasn't until a huge health shock in the family shoved a foot up my butt that I decided to get healthy (not skinny). In retrospect, I did feel a lot of shame for doing what I did to my body, but every day I work hard to correct my mistakes.

    Exercise-wise I have always been awful at 'traditional' exercise. Running and the gym are my worst nightmare but ever since I discovered yoga and martial arts (kickboxing specifically) I have fallen in love. I'm actually not awful at them! Like a lot of people, I have asthma and those first few awful workouts would always send me running back to the comfort of the sofa. I've only been working out since June (aerobic DVD), doing intense cardio for kickboxing since August, and my lung capacity has improved significantly. I've also stopped doing my weird habit of holding my breath when I run/exercise. I don't know how or why I started doing it but it used to make my life so difficult, lol.

    I think we all just have that lightbulb moment where all the excuses in the world can't excuse our reflection/scale reading anymore and then we're ready to make a change.
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