Family Support
Replies
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MommyL2015 wrote: »My family eats what I cook. If they don't like it, they go hungry or cook their own food. This isn't a restaurant and I don't hand out menus.
Correct! !!! Remember you are the parent.
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superhockeymom wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »
There's nothing wrong with Hamburger Helper. That's a go to for my family on busy nights too. I cook family packs of ground beef on the weekend and divide them up into 1 lb portions and stick in the freezer. It's ready in under 15 minutes and you can add some frozen green beans, chopped spinach, or frozen peas in it. Serve a salad on the side, and garlic bread. Everyone will be happy.
No one would be happy if I added anything to it. I used to add peas back when I ate it.
Then put the vegetables on the side. Why don't you eat it?
Is this post about getting everyone to eat the same thing, if so you have two options: Eat what they eat or get them to eat what you eat. You keep saying the latter isn't going to happen. So.... You're talking about two meals a week that you all eat together. Eat what they eat those nights. Add a salad or vegetables on the side for yourself. You said this is a new development that you actually found 1 or 2 nights that you can have a family meal. Do you really want to spend those meals arguing about what everyone is eating or seeing them turn up their noses at food that you are trying to force them to eat?
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WinoGelato wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »
There's nothing wrong with Hamburger Helper. That's a go to for my family on busy nights too. I cook family packs of ground beef on the weekend and divide them up into 1 lb portions and stick in the freezer. It's ready in under 15 minutes and you can add some frozen green beans, chopped spinach, or frozen peas in it. Serve a salad on the side, and garlic bread. Everyone will be happy.
No one would be happy if I added anything to it. I used to add peas back when I ate it.
Then put the vegetables on the side. Why don't you eat it?
Is this post about getting everyone to eat the same thing, if so you have two options: Eat what they eat or get them to eat what you eat. You keep saying the latter isn't going to happen. So.... You're talking about two meals a week that you all eat together. Eat what they eat those nights. Add a salad or vegetables on the side for yourself. You said this is a new development that you actually found 1 or 2 nights that you can have a family meal. Do you really want to spend those meals arguing about what everyone is eating or seeing them turn up their noses at food that you are trying to force them to eat?
Good point. Compromise at its best.0 -
What are they having that's so awful you can't eat it or have less cheese or bread with it?superhockeymom wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »
There's nothing wrong with Hamburger Helper. That's a go to for my family on busy nights too. I cook family packs of ground beef on the weekend and divide them up into 1 lb portions and stick in the freezer. It's ready in under 15 minutes and you can add some frozen green beans, chopped spinach, or frozen peas in it. Serve a salad on the side, and garlic bread. Everyone will be happy.
No one would be happy if I added anything to it. I used to add peas back when I ate it.
Real talk/trigger warning
My significant other killed himself. If eating hamburger helper without add ins was the only way for me to have a hot meal with him once a week, do you think I'd hesitate to eat it?
1. I don't think that's the only thing he'll eat
2. I'm still confused if it's you or him who's too picky0 -
Beef and noodles doesn't seem like a very healthy meal plan for every night. Trust me, I'm not judging, because I have a 3 year old picky eater. But, that being said, it is easier to start NOW for healthy lifestyle choices than years down the road. At my house, there is always a vegetable and protein at the dinner table. I compromise with sides she likes such as Applesauce or fruit, but she eats what I eat with little variation. Once a week we eat pizza, and that's our treat. Trying to show that junk food is OK every now and then. Everything in moderation.
I will say that there have been nights where she wont touch her food and goes to bed without eating. It is what it is.0 -
What are they having that's so awful you can't eat it or have less cheese or bread with it?superhockeymom wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »
There's nothing wrong with Hamburger Helper. That's a go to for my family on busy nights too. I cook family packs of ground beef on the weekend and divide them up into 1 lb portions and stick in the freezer. It's ready in under 15 minutes and you can add some frozen green beans, chopped spinach, or frozen peas in it. Serve a salad on the side, and garlic bread. Everyone will be happy.
No one would be happy if I added anything to it. I used to add peas back when I ate it.
Real talk/trigger warning
My significant other killed himself. If eating hamburger helper without add ins was the only way for me to have a hot meal with him once a week, do you think I'd hesitate to eat it?
1. I don't think that's the only thing he'll eat
2. I'm still confused if it's you or him who's too picky
I am so sorry for your loss but thank you for sharing this reality check. It's a reminder to all of us to not major in the minors.
I also agree with your other points... No surprise there...
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My hubby's favourite is Hamburger Helper too. I eat my portion with a big salad.
I would really like to see you eat with your family at least once a week. You can cater to different appetites by serving buffet style. Everyone decides how many greens to have with their meal.
I think eating together and having your boys see you eat will help temper that disordered thinking about food.
Family dinners are a keystone habit with proven benefits in many areas.
https://m.facebook.com/permalink.php?id=155660644287&story_fbid=101527651181842880 -
Beef and noodles doesn't seem like a very healthy meal plan for every night. Trust me, I'm not judging, because I have a 3 year old picky eater. But, that being said, it is easier to start NOW for healthy lifestyle choices than years down the road. At my house, there is always a vegetable and protein at the dinner table. I compromise with sides she likes such as Applesauce or fruit, but she eats what I eat with little variation. Once a week we eat pizza, and that's our treat. Trying to show that junk food is OK every now and then. Everything in moderation.
I will say that there have been nights where she wont touch her food and goes to bed without eating. It is what it is.
Your approach is very similar to mine, but I also have younger kids. OP has busy teenage boys that she's always running to and from activities. Beef and noodles a couple nights a week are better than concession stand food every single night. It's a bit harder when kids are that age to get them to change their eating habits. Plus she could use the extra calories.0 -
What are they having that's so awful you can't eat it or have less cheese or bread with it?superhockeymom wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »
There's nothing wrong with Hamburger Helper. That's a go to for my family on busy nights too. I cook family packs of ground beef on the weekend and divide them up into 1 lb portions and stick in the freezer. It's ready in under 15 minutes and you can add some frozen green beans, chopped spinach, or frozen peas in it. Serve a salad on the side, and garlic bread. Everyone will be happy.
No one would be happy if I added anything to it. I used to add peas back when I ate it.
Real talk/trigger warning
My significant other killed himself. If eating hamburger helper without add ins was the only way for me to have a hot meal with him once a week, do you think I'd hesitate to eat it?
1. I don't think that's the only thing he'll eat
2. I'm still confused if it's you or him who's too picky
I am in agreement. With all of the different foods in the world surely she could find something that would work for them all...if she wanted to.
If I am understanding the bolded above...I get that all too well. Life is too short to be so upset over "What's for dinner?".
OP...when I was cooking for a family I always made sure that there was at least one thing on the menu that each person liked.0 -
My hubby's favourite is Hamburger Helper too. I eat my portion with a big salad.
I would really like to see you eat with your family at least once a week. You can cater to different appetites by serving buffet style. Everyone decides how many greens to have with their meal.
I think eating together and having your boys see you eat will help temper that disordered thinking about food.
Family dinners are a keystone habit with proven benefits in many areas.
https://m.facebook.com/permalink.php?id=155660644287&story_fbid=10152765118184288
Yep. I think trying to make this about picky teenagers and husband is a way to find a way to keep eating separately so they don't catch on to the disordered thinking about food. This really isn't about her family not liking her "healthy" food. Netting less than 1000 cals isn't healthy. Eat the Hamburger Helper OP.
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christinev297 wrote: »All I can say is please try not to raise your kids to be fussy adults. Think of their future wife and what they are going to have to go through.
Or teach them to cook so they don't have to rely on their future spouse. 
YES. I absolutely refuse to be with anyone who can't cook for themselves and clean up after themselves. It's pathetic to have to rely on a woman.
OP, if you were me... I'd be making myself dinner. The husband can cook for himself and the kids. Or, even better, the kids can cook. I was cooking for myself when I was even younger than them. You know why? When my mom cooked (rarely), I didn't like it, so she told me to cook for myself. I did. She wasn't going to cook something special for me. There's no reason for you to cater to them. 13 and 15 is far old enough to take care of themselves.0 -
Changing habits takes awhile. For one person, it may be tough, but changing a whole family's? Realize that the kids are eating what they like, because that's what you've offered them up to now. Expecting them to change with no resistance would be naive.
My mom taught me how to cook at about 15. In fact I was in charge many times for the main course. So you might try passing on the responsibility to them and at the same time teach the a skill they should have when they go out on their own. Or else they'll end up being a take out or eat out person.
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Our family dinners were what my parents wanted to eat. We had some sort of protein, some sort of starch and a hot vegetable and there was always a bowl of green salad. You ate what you wanted of the food offered. If you really hated something you could make yourself an sandwich. My parents thought that it was important to offer a variety of foods and to model healthy eating habits (which including eating all of the foods groups).0
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Eat with your kids. The more they see you eating a variety of foods, the more likely it is they will try at some point, even if this point comes in a year.
Serve a variety of foods. Even if they do not like them. Explain you are concerned about their health, they are old enough to understand, even if they hate it. Does not guarantee they will eat everything you serve, but at least they will get more used to the idea. Seeing a bowl of salad in the middle of the table every time you eat means you are more likely to try it at some point and accept it as a regular part of dinner. If you never serve things they do not like, they will never have any motivation to try them.
Ask them to help you meal plan, but set rules. Like, X servings of vegetables per week, Y servings of red meat, Z serving of fish, or whatever seems reasonable to you. Even if they stick to the same choices every time if they are picky, still it is adding some balance to their meals and it is helping them figure out that they should be eating things from different food groups.
Let them know that they can have some foods they hate and you will serve something else these days, but the list needs to be short. 2-3 things, not 30. Telling them they are not babies any more so stop acting like ones usually helps, at least with my kids and their friends. Even if they hate me for it.
If the meal is not in their "hate" list, they can eat it, or not eat at all. Not having junk food and treats at home helps, especially on days you know they will not be thrilled about the basic meal. If you are hungry and the only options are eating the meal you do not love or trying to get full on e.g. oranges and milk, it is more probable to decide that eating the actual meal is worth a try.
Also serving two options, one they do just dislike and one they hate usually helps at least in my home. They compare them, and decide that one of them is at least edible. To give you an example, we had a green beans bsed dish last week for dinner, and one of my kids kept whining about this being horrible and ate a tiny portion (I know she does not like them much, but she eats them, it is not a food that she absolutely cannot stand). Next day, we had split peas, which she really hates. I offered a choice of leftovers from the green beans or the split peas. She happily ate a huge portion of green beans, feeling very happy for being spared the horror of trying the split peas
Whenever possible, offer different side dishes. So e.g. you can all have burgers for dinner, but the kids can have them with a large serving of mashed potatoes, you can choose something that fits more easily your calories, like some lettuce salad.
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What are they having that's so awful you can't eat it or have less cheese or bread with it?superhockeymom wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »
There's nothing wrong with Hamburger Helper. That's a go to for my family on busy nights too. I cook family packs of ground beef on the weekend and divide them up into 1 lb portions and stick in the freezer. It's ready in under 15 minutes and you can add some frozen green beans, chopped spinach, or frozen peas in it. Serve a salad on the side, and garlic bread. Everyone will be happy.
No one would be happy if I added anything to it. I used to add peas back when I ate it.
Real talk/trigger warning
My significant other killed himself. If eating hamburger helper without add ins was the only way for me to have a hot meal with him once a week, do you think I'd hesitate to eat it?
1. I don't think that's the only thing he'll eat
2. I'm still confused if it's you or him who's too picky
1. I am very sorry for your loss it puts things in perspective family time is to be cherished.
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I've been thinking at their age these boys can start cooking. You could give them an evening a week to plan the meal for everyone.
My granddaughter has always been in to cooking; this is something we share. At home she often makes the salad when her mom makes the main course.
But of course this would be a major change in your family dynamic so I suggest trial runs with a few false starts.
Consider in a few short years your boys will be cooking on their own so it pays to teach them a few basics, even if it is heat and serve chicken strips.0 -
I've read through all of the responses to this eating debacle and there seems to be much larger issues at play than "my husband/kids do not like vegetables." First and foremost being, what exactly does OP eat? Is the way the OP choosing to eat at this time sustainable for life? I'm going to have to agree with the posters that have said Eating those things is not inherently bad, add to your own menu. If it is hamburger helper (now that gags me, but that's just me) make sure there are fresh vegetables/salad you can eat. Portions are the key. Quit the fussing about food and sit down and eat together when time allows. Walk the walk not just talk the talk. Show your family what "healthy" looks like and that your life is better for it. Sure, you want your family to eat "healthy" - but obviously your husband and children (how old are they?) can make those decisions now. Make the food, take what you wish if it be just the vegetables/salad and sit down and enjoy each other. Time passes way too quickly to sweat the small stuff. You can do this!0
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Ok so just to give an example of how this works and why last night I just decided it needs to change. First off yes we are a crazy busy family so yes nights when we can eat a "normal" meal are rare but I am trying. Last night menu.
Steak tips
Rice pilaf
Corn
Cresant rolls
Cauliflower (me)
Apple sause
Time 7:45
Oldest and husband come in from practice 7:43 oldest needs shower ok but quick
Youngest not home yet still at girlfriends text him 2x call him finally answers he was sleeping. " mom please can you pick me up and bring me to Grammies to bring in her trash barrels". Ok so now I leave.
Husband and oldest son eat why not they are home and hungrey
Finally get home with youngest 8:25
He eats only steak ( not hungrey) husband in now watching Hockey game
Oldest son working on homework
Youngest goes to do his homework.
I look at steak tips don't really like them and everything is kinda cold so I cook a piece of fish, warm up rice, cauliflower and corn and a roll. Clean up kitchen now it is 9:30. So there is my frustration even days we could potentially eat together we can't and they all eat different things actually last night was better for that because we all mixed and matched.
My day starts at 4:15 because I have to get my kids to practice before school so by 9:30 I'm pretty much ready to relax/ sleep. Ok vented.
It has nothing to do with me wanting to have my family not see what I eat. My Dinner is always a great meal, filling well rounded. I could only hope they would learn to eat a dinner that.0 -
superhockeymom wrote: »Ok so just to give an example of how this works and why last night I just decided it needs to change. First off yes we are a crazy busy family so yes nights when we can eat a "normal" meal are rare but I am trying. Last night menu.
Steak tips
Rice pilaf
Corn
Cresant rolls
Cauliflower (me)
Apple sause
Time 7:45
Oldest and husband come in from practice 7:43 oldest needs shower ok but quick
Youngest not home yet still at girlfriends text him 2x call him finally answers he was sleeping. " mom please can you pick me up and bring me to Grammies to bring in her trash barrels". Ok so now I leave.
Husband and oldest son eat why not they are home and hungrey
Finally get home with youngest 8:25
He eats only steak ( not hungrey) husband in now watching Hockey game
Oldest son working on homework
Youngest goes to do his homework.
I look at steak tips don't really like them and everything is kinda cold so I cook a piece of fish, warm up rice, cauliflower and corn and a roll. Clean up kitchen now it is 9:30. So there is my frustration even days we could potentially eat together we can't and they all eat different things actually last night was better for that because we all mixed and matched.
My day starts at 4:15 because I have to get my kids to practice before school so by 9:30 I'm pretty much ready to relax/ sleep. Ok vented.
It has nothing to do with me wanting to have my family not see what I eat. My Dinner is always a great meal, filling well rounded. I could only hope they would learn to eat a dinner that.
Youngest ate with GF. Yours was second dinner for him.0 -
For my family, my wife and I eat the mostly the same dinner. We sometimes differ on veggies as I'm a little picky on those (I also due about 60% of the cooking). For our children, they do have to eat what is made if we feel its something kids wouldn't object too: steak, grilled chicken, pasta with meat sauce. Many if not most meals we make are more adult. So we have them try what we are eating, assuming its not spicy, and have prepare other food for them we heat up in the microwave.
Although I agree with the sentiment that kids should eat what is in front of them, I don't think it is fair to put a almost raw piece of Ahi tuna in front of them, a spicy Thai noodle dish, or Coq au Vin. I don't want to sacrifice my choices so I'll have some baked chicken nuggets in fridge ready to heat up.0 -
superhockeymom wrote: »Ok so just to give an example of how this works and why last night I just decided it needs to change. First off yes we are a crazy busy family so yes nights when we can eat a "normal" meal are rare but I am trying. Last night menu.
Steak tips
Rice pilaf
Corn
Cresant rolls
Cauliflower (me)
Apple sause
Time 7:45
Oldest and husband come in from practice 7:43 oldest needs shower ok but quick
Youngest not home yet still at girlfriends text him 2x call him finally answers he was sleeping. " mom please can you pick me up and bring me to Grammies to bring in her trash barrels". Ok so now I leave.
Husband and oldest son eat why not they are home and hungrey
Finally get home with youngest 8:25
He eats only steak ( not hungrey) husband in now watching Hockey game
Oldest son working on homework
Youngest goes to do his homework.
I look at steak tips don't really like them and everything is kinda cold so I cook a piece of fish, warm up rice, cauliflower and corn and a roll. Clean up kitchen now it is 9:30. So there is my frustration even days we could potentially eat together we can't and they all eat different things actually last night was better for that because we all mixed and matched.
My day starts at 4:15 because I have to get my kids to practice before school so by 9:30 I'm pretty much ready to relax/ sleep. Ok vented.
It has nothing to do with me wanting to have my family not see what I eat. My Dinner is always a great meal, filling well rounded. I could only hope they would learn to eat a dinner that.
So then this post isn't about getting them to eat healthy food. It's about your hectic schedules and not being able to get everyone to sit down together, right? If that's the issue then you need to have a family discussion and pick one night and the expectation is that everyone is home at a certain time, no excuses, no girlfriends, no electronics. Take turns picking what is on the menu that night. Every one gets one Tuesday a month. As this becomes more of a habit whosever turn it is to choose the menu can also be responsible for cooking it.
Also, since previously you said you wouldn't see your husband till Friday, did
You take the chance last night to have that discussion with him about the goals you set for yourself, most importantly that you are going to stop undereating and NET at least 1200 each day, excluding wine?0 -
superhockeymom wrote: »Ok so just to give an example of how this works and why last night I just decided it needs to change. First off yes we are a crazy busy family so yes nights when we can eat a "normal" meal are rare but I am trying. Last night menu.
Steak tips
Rice pilaf
Corn
Cresant rolls
Cauliflower (me)
Apple sause
Time 7:45
Oldest and husband come in from practice 7:43 oldest needs shower ok but quick
Youngest not home yet still at girlfriends text him 2x call him finally answers he was sleeping. " mom please can you pick me up and bring me to Grammies to bring in her trash barrels". Ok so now I leave.
Husband and oldest son eat why not they are home and hungrey
Finally get home with youngest 8:25
He eats only steak ( not hungrey) husband in now watching Hockey game
Oldest son working on homework
Youngest goes to do his homework.
I look at steak tips don't really like them and everything is kinda cold so I cook a piece of fish, warm up rice, cauliflower and corn and a roll. Clean up kitchen now it is 9:30. So there is my frustration even days we could potentially eat together we can't and they all eat different things actually last night was better for that because we all mixed and matched.
My day starts at 4:15 because I have to get my kids to practice before school so by 9:30 I'm pretty much ready to relax/ sleep. Ok vented.
It has nothing to do with me wanting to have my family not see what I eat. My Dinner is always a great meal, filling well rounded. I could only hope they would learn to eat a dinner that.
Youngest ate with GF. Yours was second dinner for him.
Probably but he would never tell me because he knew he was supposed to be home.0 -
So, after months of you posting about what you eat (or rather what you don't eat, because reasons), and getting great advice from people here, you have now manipulated the focus onto what your family eats and what time they eat it. Well played @superhockeymom, well played.0
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CurlyCockney wrote: »So, after months of you posting about what you eat (or rather what you don't eat, because reasons), and getting great advice from people here, you have now manipulated the focus onto what your family eats and what time they eat it. Well played @superhockeymom, well played.
Yes because there will be a whole new group of folks who will empathize with the frustrated mom just trying to get healthy but her family is not on board...,
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superhockeymom wrote: »For me. I am going to work on this though getting tired of being a short order cook and then being called weird because I don't like what they eat. Lol
Tell them if they call you weird again, you are going on strike, and they will get no 'special' meals. You are doing all this work for them. They seem to feel entitled to having their preferences all the time, and then make fun of you? You are letting them disrespect you. Are they going to grow up thinking it is ok for them to always get what they want and that women have to give in to them?
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WinoGelato wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »Ok so just to give an example of how this works and why last night I just decided it needs to change. First off yes we are a crazy busy family so yes nights when we can eat a "normal" meal are rare but I am trying. Last night menu.
Steak tips
Rice pilaf
Corn
Cresant rolls
Cauliflower (me)
Apple sause
Time 7:45
Oldest and husband come in from practice 7:43 oldest needs shower ok but quick
Youngest not home yet still at girlfriends text him 2x call him finally answers he was sleeping. " mom please can you pick me up and bring me to Grammies to bring in her trash barrels". Ok so now I leave.
Husband and oldest son eat why not they are home and hungrey
Finally get home with youngest 8:25
He eats only steak ( not hungrey) husband in now watching Hockey game
Oldest son working on homework
Youngest goes to do his homework.
I look at steak tips don't really like them and everything is kinda cold so I cook a piece of fish, warm up rice, cauliflower and corn and a roll. Clean up kitchen now it is 9:30. So there is my frustration even days we could potentially eat together we can't and they all eat different things actually last night was better for that because we all mixed and matched.
My day starts at 4:15 because I have to get my kids to practice before school so by 9:30 I'm pretty much ready to relax/ sleep. Ok vented.
It has nothing to do with me wanting to have my family not see what I eat. My Dinner is always a great meal, filling well rounded. I could only hope they would learn to eat a dinner that.
So then this post isn't about getting them to eat healthy food. It's about your hectic schedules and not being able to get everyone to sit down together, right? If that's the issue then you need to have a family discussion and pick one night and the expectation is that everyone is home at a certain time, no excuses, no girlfriends, no electronics. Take turns picking what is on the menu that night. Every one gets one Tuesday a month. As this becomes more of a habit whosever turn it is to choose the menu can also be responsible for cooking it.
Also, since previously you said you wouldn't see your husband till Friday, did
You take the chance last night to have that discussion with him about the goals you set for yourself, most importantly that you are going to stop undereating and NET at least 1200 each day, excluding wine?
Well the thread was about getting them to support healthier eating and how others handled picky eaters. I am always looking for ideas these threads always change into something else so no it was not really about my busy schedule at first but hey someone mentioned it.
As to my husband no he got home to eat then watched the game while I cleaned up and ate, removed ticks from the dog and myself,( going to rethink the trail run today) folded laundry and all the fun stuff I am expected to do.0 -
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first, take care of yourself
second, cook healthy food most nights and do hamburger helper once a week.
taco night with fish?
try teaching them all how to cook.
start with recipes from cooking light or real simple. i made a healthy lentil soup that my bf enjoyed and didn't even realize it was 'healthy'0 -
sallygroundhog wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »For me. I am going to work on this though getting tired of being a short order cook and then being called weird because I don't like what they eat. Lol
Tell them if they call you weird again, you are going on strike, and they will get no 'special' meals. You are doing all this work for them. They seem to feel entitled to having their preferences all the time, and then make fun of you? You are letting them disrespect you. Are they going to grow up thinking it is ok for them to always get what they want and that women have to give in to them?
I've said it before to this OP, and I'll say it again since it costs me $0.00. Patti, who taught you it was ok to be treated this way?0 -
sallygroundhog wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »For me. I am going to work on this though getting tired of being a short order cook and then being called weird because I don't like what they eat. Lol
Tell them if they call you weird again, you are going on strike, and they will get no 'special' meals. You are doing all this work for them. They seem to feel entitled to having their preferences all the time, and then make fun of you? You are letting them disrespect you. Are they going to grow up thinking it is ok for them to always get what they want and that women have to give in to them?
I've said it before to this OP, and I'll say it again since it costs me $0.00. Patti, who taught you it was ok to be treated this way?
I was feeling pretty on top of the world today. No not so much.
No I do want my boys to grow up to disrespect anyone and honestly they are good boys tell me everything. It drives my husband crazy because they never talk to him at all. It's to bad but he lectures all the time. So they just avoid it.0
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