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superhockeymom wrote: »Ok so just to give an example of how this works and why last night I just decided it needs to change. First off yes we are a crazy busy family so yes nights when we can eat a "normal" meal are rare but I am trying. Last night menu.
Steak tips
Rice pilaf
Corn
Cresant rolls
Cauliflower (me)
Apple sause
Time 7:45
Oldest and husband come in from practice 7:43 oldest needs shower ok but quick
Youngest not home yet still at girlfriends text him 2x call him finally answers he was sleeping. " mom please can you pick me up and bring me to Grammies to bring in her trash barrels". Ok so now I leave.
Husband and oldest son eat why not they are home and hungrey
Finally get home with youngest 8:25
He eats only steak ( not hungrey) husband in now watching Hockey game
Oldest son working on homework
Youngest goes to do his homework.
I look at steak tips don't really like them and everything is kinda cold so I cook a piece of fish, warm up rice, cauliflower and corn and a roll. Clean up kitchen now it is 9:30. So there is my frustration even days we could potentially eat together we can't and they all eat different things actually last night was better for that because we all mixed and matched.
My day starts at 4:15 because I have to get my kids to practice before school so by 9:30 I'm pretty much ready to relax/ sleep. Ok vented.
It has nothing to do with me wanting to have my family not see what I eat. My Dinner is always a great meal, filling well rounded. I could only hope they would learn to eat a dinner that.
So then this post isn't about getting them to eat healthy food. It's about your hectic schedules and not being able to get everyone to sit down together, right? If that's the issue then you need to have a family discussion and pick one night and the expectation is that everyone is home at a certain time, no excuses, no girlfriends, no electronics. Take turns picking what is on the menu that night. Every one gets one Tuesday a month. As this becomes more of a habit whosever turn it is to choose the menu can also be responsible for cooking it.
Also, since previously you said you wouldn't see your husband till Friday, did
You take the chance last night to have that discussion with him about the goals you set for yourself, most importantly that you are going to stop undereating and NET at least 1200 each day, excluding wine?0 -
superhockeymom wrote: »Ok so just to give an example of how this works and why last night I just decided it needs to change. First off yes we are a crazy busy family so yes nights when we can eat a "normal" meal are rare but I am trying. Last night menu.
Steak tips
Rice pilaf
Corn
Cresant rolls
Cauliflower (me)
Apple sause
Time 7:45
Oldest and husband come in from practice 7:43 oldest needs shower ok but quick
Youngest not home yet still at girlfriends text him 2x call him finally answers he was sleeping. " mom please can you pick me up and bring me to Grammies to bring in her trash barrels". Ok so now I leave.
Husband and oldest son eat why not they are home and hungrey
Finally get home with youngest 8:25
He eats only steak ( not hungrey) husband in now watching Hockey game
Oldest son working on homework
Youngest goes to do his homework.
I look at steak tips don't really like them and everything is kinda cold so I cook a piece of fish, warm up rice, cauliflower and corn and a roll. Clean up kitchen now it is 9:30. So there is my frustration even days we could potentially eat together we can't and they all eat different things actually last night was better for that because we all mixed and matched.
My day starts at 4:15 because I have to get my kids to practice before school so by 9:30 I'm pretty much ready to relax/ sleep. Ok vented.
It has nothing to do with me wanting to have my family not see what I eat. My Dinner is always a great meal, filling well rounded. I could only hope they would learn to eat a dinner that.
Youngest ate with GF. Yours was second dinner for him.
Probably but he would never tell me because he knew he was supposed to be home.0 -
So, after months of you posting about what you eat (or rather what you don't eat, because reasons), and getting great advice from people here, you have now manipulated the focus onto what your family eats and what time they eat it. Well played @superhockeymom, well played.0
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CurlyCockney wrote: »So, after months of you posting about what you eat (or rather what you don't eat, because reasons), and getting great advice from people here, you have now manipulated the focus onto what your family eats and what time they eat it. Well played @superhockeymom, well played.
Yes because there will be a whole new group of folks who will empathize with the frustrated mom just trying to get healthy but her family is not on board...,
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superhockeymom wrote: »For me. I am going to work on this though getting tired of being a short order cook and then being called weird because I don't like what they eat. Lol
Tell them if they call you weird again, you are going on strike, and they will get no 'special' meals. You are doing all this work for them. They seem to feel entitled to having their preferences all the time, and then make fun of you? You are letting them disrespect you. Are they going to grow up thinking it is ok for them to always get what they want and that women have to give in to them?
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WinoGelato wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »Ok so just to give an example of how this works and why last night I just decided it needs to change. First off yes we are a crazy busy family so yes nights when we can eat a "normal" meal are rare but I am trying. Last night menu.
Steak tips
Rice pilaf
Corn
Cresant rolls
Cauliflower (me)
Apple sause
Time 7:45
Oldest and husband come in from practice 7:43 oldest needs shower ok but quick
Youngest not home yet still at girlfriends text him 2x call him finally answers he was sleeping. " mom please can you pick me up and bring me to Grammies to bring in her trash barrels". Ok so now I leave.
Husband and oldest son eat why not they are home and hungrey
Finally get home with youngest 8:25
He eats only steak ( not hungrey) husband in now watching Hockey game
Oldest son working on homework
Youngest goes to do his homework.
I look at steak tips don't really like them and everything is kinda cold so I cook a piece of fish, warm up rice, cauliflower and corn and a roll. Clean up kitchen now it is 9:30. So there is my frustration even days we could potentially eat together we can't and they all eat different things actually last night was better for that because we all mixed and matched.
My day starts at 4:15 because I have to get my kids to practice before school so by 9:30 I'm pretty much ready to relax/ sleep. Ok vented.
It has nothing to do with me wanting to have my family not see what I eat. My Dinner is always a great meal, filling well rounded. I could only hope they would learn to eat a dinner that.
So then this post isn't about getting them to eat healthy food. It's about your hectic schedules and not being able to get everyone to sit down together, right? If that's the issue then you need to have a family discussion and pick one night and the expectation is that everyone is home at a certain time, no excuses, no girlfriends, no electronics. Take turns picking what is on the menu that night. Every one gets one Tuesday a month. As this becomes more of a habit whosever turn it is to choose the menu can also be responsible for cooking it.
Also, since previously you said you wouldn't see your husband till Friday, did
You take the chance last night to have that discussion with him about the goals you set for yourself, most importantly that you are going to stop undereating and NET at least 1200 each day, excluding wine?
Well the thread was about getting them to support healthier eating and how others handled picky eaters. I am always looking for ideas these threads always change into something else so no it was not really about my busy schedule at first but hey someone mentioned it.
As to my husband no he got home to eat then watched the game while I cleaned up and ate, removed ticks from the dog and myself,( going to rethink the trail run today) folded laundry and all the fun stuff I am expected to do.0 -
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first, take care of yourself
second, cook healthy food most nights and do hamburger helper once a week.
taco night with fish?
try teaching them all how to cook.
start with recipes from cooking light or real simple. i made a healthy lentil soup that my bf enjoyed and didn't even realize it was 'healthy'0 -
sallygroundhog wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »For me. I am going to work on this though getting tired of being a short order cook and then being called weird because I don't like what they eat. Lol
Tell them if they call you weird again, you are going on strike, and they will get no 'special' meals. You are doing all this work for them. They seem to feel entitled to having their preferences all the time, and then make fun of you? You are letting them disrespect you. Are they going to grow up thinking it is ok for them to always get what they want and that women have to give in to them?
I've said it before to this OP, and I'll say it again since it costs me $0.00. Patti, who taught you it was ok to be treated this way?0 -
sallygroundhog wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »For me. I am going to work on this though getting tired of being a short order cook and then being called weird because I don't like what they eat. Lol
Tell them if they call you weird again, you are going on strike, and they will get no 'special' meals. You are doing all this work for them. They seem to feel entitled to having their preferences all the time, and then make fun of you? You are letting them disrespect you. Are they going to grow up thinking it is ok for them to always get what they want and that women have to give in to them?
I've said it before to this OP, and I'll say it again since it costs me $0.00. Patti, who taught you it was ok to be treated this way?
I was feeling pretty on top of the world today. No not so much.
No I do want my boys to grow up to disrespect anyone and honestly they are good boys tell me everything. It drives my husband crazy because they never talk to him at all. It's to bad but he lectures all the time. So they just avoid it.0 -
superhockeymom wrote: »sallygroundhog wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »For me. I am going to work on this though getting tired of being a short order cook and then being called weird because I don't like what they eat. Lol
Tell them if they call you weird again, you are going on strike, and they will get no 'special' meals. You are doing all this work for them. They seem to feel entitled to having their preferences all the time, and then make fun of you? You are letting them disrespect you. Are they going to grow up thinking it is ok for them to always get what they want and that women have to give in to them?
I've said it before to this OP, and I'll say it again since it costs me $0.00. Patti, who taught you it was ok to be treated this way?
I was feeling pretty on top of the world today. No not so much.
No I do want my boys to grow up to disrespect anyone and honestly they are good boys tell me everything. It drives my husband crazy because they never talk to him at all. It's to bad but he lectures all the time. So they just avoid it.
Patti, you're contradicting yourself on that they "tell you everything." Remember a couple messages ago where you said the youngest wouldn't tell you if he'd already eaten at his GF? They're teenaged boys, they definitely don't tell you everything (though they may tell you more than your DH).
I see you're trying to be the nice parent that always says yes and gives them everything they want, but you'll have to ask yourself if that's how life really is for adults.0 -
superhockeymom wrote: »sallygroundhog wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »For me. I am going to work on this though getting tired of being a short order cook and then being called weird because I don't like what they eat. Lol
Tell them if they call you weird again, you are going on strike, and they will get no 'special' meals. You are doing all this work for them. They seem to feel entitled to having their preferences all the time, and then make fun of you? You are letting them disrespect you. Are they going to grow up thinking it is ok for them to always get what they want and that women have to give in to them?
I've said it before to this OP, and I'll say it again since it costs me $0.00. Patti, who taught you it was ok to be treated this way?
I was feeling pretty on top of the world today. No not so much.
No I do want my boys to grow up to disrespect anyone and honestly they are good boys tell me everything. It drives my husband crazy because they never talk to him at all. It's to bad but he lectures all the time. So they just avoid it.
Patti, you're contradicting yourself on that they "tell you everything." Remember a couple messages ago where you said the youngest wouldn't tell you if he'd already eaten at his GF? They're teenaged boys, they definitely don't tell you everything (though they may tell you more than your DH).
I see you're trying to be the nice parent that always says yes and gives them everything they want, but you'll have to ask yourself if that's how life really is for adults.
Oh ya dinner I was thinking of the big stuff and if they are not telling me everything then I am in big trouble because so far there are a few things that really surprised and shocked me. But we can discuss I can tell them not a good idea or flat out never ever do that again. I'm glad they gave me. On long rides to games I talk to my sons when my husband takes them the kids put on headphones or sleep. But perhaps that says more about the dynamic of my family then I would ever put straight out in words.
And this all has nothing to do with dinner. Lol0 -
superhockeymom wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »sallygroundhog wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »For me. I am going to work on this though getting tired of being a short order cook and then being called weird because I don't like what they eat. Lol
Tell them if they call you weird again, you are going on strike, and they will get no 'special' meals. You are doing all this work for them. They seem to feel entitled to having their preferences all the time, and then make fun of you? You are letting them disrespect you. Are they going to grow up thinking it is ok for them to always get what they want and that women have to give in to them?
I've said it before to this OP, and I'll say it again since it costs me $0.00. Patti, who taught you it was ok to be treated this way?
I was feeling pretty on top of the world today. No not so much.
No I do want my boys to grow up to disrespect anyone and honestly they are good boys tell me everything. It drives my husband crazy because they never talk to him at all. It's to bad but he lectures all the time. So they just avoid it.
Patti, you're contradicting yourself on that they "tell you everything." Remember a couple messages ago where you said the youngest wouldn't tell you if he'd already eaten at his GF? They're teenaged boys, they definitely don't tell you everything (though they may tell you more than your DH).
I see you're trying to be the nice parent that always says yes and gives them everything they want, but you'll have to ask yourself if that's how life really is for adults.
Oh ya dinner I was thinking of the big stuff and if they are not telling me everything then I am in big trouble because so far there are a few things that really surprised and shocked me. But we can discuss I can tell them not a good idea or flat out never ever do that again. I'm glad they gave me. On long rides to games I talk to my sons when my husband takes them the kids put on headphones or sleep. But perhaps that says more about the dynamic of my family then I would ever put straight out in words.
And this all has nothing to do with dinner. Lol
You trying to always be the nice parent that always says yes has "nothing" to do with dinner?0 -
superhockeymom wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »Ok so just to give an example of how this works and why last night I just decided it needs to change. First off yes we are a crazy busy family so yes nights when we can eat a "normal" meal are rare but I am trying. Last night menu.
Steak tips
Rice pilaf
Corn
Cresant rolls
Cauliflower (me)
Apple sause
Time 7:45
Oldest and husband come in from practice 7:43 oldest needs shower ok but quick
Youngest not home yet still at girlfriends text him 2x call him finally answers he was sleeping. " mom please can you pick me up and bring me to Grammies to bring in her trash barrels". Ok so now I leave.
Husband and oldest son eat why not they are home and hungrey
Finally get home with youngest 8:25
He eats only steak ( not hungrey) husband in now watching Hockey game
Oldest son working on homework
Youngest goes to do his homework.
I look at steak tips don't really like them and everything is kinda cold so I cook a piece of fish, warm up rice, cauliflower and corn and a roll. Clean up kitchen now it is 9:30. So there is my frustration even days we could potentially eat together we can't and they all eat different things actually last night was better for that because we all mixed and matched.
My day starts at 4:15 because I have to get my kids to practice before school so by 9:30 I'm pretty much ready to relax/ sleep. Ok vented.
It has nothing to do with me wanting to have my family not see what I eat. My Dinner is always a great meal, filling well rounded. I could only hope they would learn to eat a dinner that.
So then this post isn't about getting them to eat healthy food. It's about your hectic schedules and not being able to get everyone to sit down together, right? If that's the issue then you need to have a family discussion and pick one night and the expectation is that everyone is home at a certain time, no excuses, no girlfriends, no electronics. Take turns picking what is on the menu that night. Every one gets one Tuesday a month. As this becomes more of a habit whosever turn it is to choose the menu can also be responsible for cooking it.
Also, since previously you said you wouldn't see your husband till Friday, did
You take the chance last night to have that discussion with him about the goals you set for yourself, most importantly that you are going to stop undereating and NET at least 1200 each day, excluding wine?
Well the thread was about getting them to support healthier eating and how others handled picky eaters. I am always looking for ideas these threads always change into something else so no it was not really about my busy schedule at first but hey someone mentioned it.
As to my husband no he got home to eat then watched the game while I cleaned up and ate, removed ticks from the dog and myself,( going to rethink the trail run today) folded laundry and all the fun stuff I am expected to do.
Did you tell him you had something important to talk to him about? You keep talking about how you have to do all this stuff and how disengaged your husband is but are you telling him that you are feeling this way? Did you ask him to help you with any of this? How come it's ok for you to come here and vent and ask for advice but you don't communicate with your own partner? Why should we continue spending our time trying to help you when you aren't following through on your promises to make changes?
Until you sit down and talk to your husband about ALL of this: the undereating, the wine consumption, the binge restrict cycles, the self loathing, control issues seeing the therapist, the frustration about lack of support at home, etc then none of us can really help you.
Your problems run far deeper than Hamburger Helper and busy schedules. You have to fix them and the way to start is to discuss with your spouse.
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superhockeymom wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »sallygroundhog wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »For me. I am going to work on this though getting tired of being a short order cook and then being called weird because I don't like what they eat. Lol
Tell them if they call you weird again, you are going on strike, and they will get no 'special' meals. You are doing all this work for them. They seem to feel entitled to having their preferences all the time, and then make fun of you? You are letting them disrespect you. Are they going to grow up thinking it is ok for them to always get what they want and that women have to give in to them?
I've said it before to this OP, and I'll say it again since it costs me $0.00. Patti, who taught you it was ok to be treated this way?
I was feeling pretty on top of the world today. No not so much.
No I do want my boys to grow up to disrespect anyone and honestly they are good boys tell me everything. It drives my husband crazy because they never talk to him at all. It's to bad but he lectures all the time. So they just avoid it.
Patti, you're contradicting yourself on that they "tell you everything." Remember a couple messages ago where you said the youngest wouldn't tell you if he'd already eaten at his GF? They're teenaged boys, they definitely don't tell you everything (though they may tell you more than your DH).
I see you're trying to be the nice parent that always says yes and gives them everything they want, but you'll have to ask yourself if that's how life really is for adults.
Oh ya dinner I was thinking of the big stuff and if they are not telling me everything then I am in big trouble because so far there are a few things that really surprised and shocked me. But we can discuss I can tell them not a good idea or flat out never ever do that again. I'm glad they gave me. On long rides to games I talk to my sons when my husband takes them the kids put on headphones or sleep. But perhaps that says more about the dynamic of my family then I would ever put straight out in words.
And this all has nothing to do with dinner. Lol
You trying to always be the nice parent that always says yes has "nothing" to do with dinner?
You win. Yes it does man I am such a pushover.0 -
WinoGelato wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »Ok so just to give an example of how this works and why last night I just decided it needs to change. First off yes we are a crazy busy family so yes nights when we can eat a "normal" meal are rare but I am trying. Last night menu.
Steak tips
Rice pilaf
Corn
Cresant rolls
Cauliflower (me)
Apple sause
Time 7:45
Oldest and husband come in from practice 7:43 oldest needs shower ok but quick
Youngest not home yet still at girlfriends text him 2x call him finally answers he was sleeping. " mom please can you pick me up and bring me to Grammies to bring in her trash barrels". Ok so now I leave.
Husband and oldest son eat why not they are home and hungrey
Finally get home with youngest 8:25
He eats only steak ( not hungrey) husband in now watching Hockey game
Oldest son working on homework
Youngest goes to do his homework.
I look at steak tips don't really like them and everything is kinda cold so I cook a piece of fish, warm up rice, cauliflower and corn and a roll. Clean up kitchen now it is 9:30. So there is my frustration even days we could potentially eat together we can't and they all eat different things actually last night was better for that because we all mixed and matched.
My day starts at 4:15 because I have to get my kids to practice before school so by 9:30 I'm pretty much ready to relax/ sleep. Ok vented.
It has nothing to do with me wanting to have my family not see what I eat. My Dinner is always a great meal, filling well rounded. I could only hope they would learn to eat a dinner that.
So then this post isn't about getting them to eat healthy food. It's about your hectic schedules and not being able to get everyone to sit down together, right? If that's the issue then you need to have a family discussion and pick one night and the expectation is that everyone is home at a certain time, no excuses, no girlfriends, no electronics. Take turns picking what is on the menu that night. Every one gets one Tuesday a month. As this becomes more of a habit whosever turn it is to choose the menu can also be responsible for cooking it.
Also, since previously you said you wouldn't see your husband till Friday, did
You take the chance last night to have that discussion with him about the goals you set for yourself, most importantly that you are going to stop undereating and NET at least 1200 each day, excluding wine?
Well the thread was about getting them to support healthier eating and how others handled picky eaters. I am always looking for ideas these threads always change into something else so no it was not really about my busy schedule at first but hey someone mentioned it.
As to my husband no he got home to eat then watched the game while I cleaned up and ate, removed ticks from the dog and myself,( going to rethink the trail run today) folded laundry and all the fun stuff I am expected to do.
Did you tell him you had something important to talk to him about? You keep talking about how you have to do all this stuff and how disengaged your husband is but are you telling him that you are feeling this way? Did you ask him to help you with any of this? How come it's ok for you to come here and vent and ask for advice but you don't communicate with your own partner? Why should we continue spending our time trying to help you when you aren't following through on your promises to make changes?
Until you sit down and talk to your husband about ALL of this: the undereating, the wine consumption, the binge restrict cycles, the self loathing, control issues seeing the therapist, the frustration about lack of support at home, etc then none of us can really help you.
Your problems run far deeper than Hamburger Helper and busy schedules. You have to fix them and the way to start is to discuss with your spouse.
Baby steps.0 -
superhockeymom wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »sallygroundhog wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »For me. I am going to work on this though getting tired of being a short order cook and then being called weird because I don't like what they eat. Lol
Tell them if they call you weird again, you are going on strike, and they will get no 'special' meals. You are doing all this work for them. They seem to feel entitled to having their preferences all the time, and then make fun of you? You are letting them disrespect you. Are they going to grow up thinking it is ok for them to always get what they want and that women have to give in to them?
I've said it before to this OP, and I'll say it again since it costs me $0.00. Patti, who taught you it was ok to be treated this way?
I was feeling pretty on top of the world today. No not so much.
No I do want my boys to grow up to disrespect anyone and honestly they are good boys tell me everything. It drives my husband crazy because they never talk to him at all. It's to bad but he lectures all the time. So they just avoid it.
Patti, you're contradicting yourself on that they "tell you everything." Remember a couple messages ago where you said the youngest wouldn't tell you if he'd already eaten at his GF? They're teenaged boys, they definitely don't tell you everything (though they may tell you more than your DH).
I see you're trying to be the nice parent that always says yes and gives them everything they want, but you'll have to ask yourself if that's how life really is for adults.
Oh ya dinner I was thinking of the big stuff and if they are not telling me everything then I am in big trouble because so far there are a few things that really surprised and shocked me. But we can discuss I can tell them not a good idea or flat out never ever do that again. I'm glad they gave me. On long rides to games I talk to my sons when my husband takes them the kids put on headphones or sleep. But perhaps that says more about the dynamic of my family then I would ever put straight out in words.
And this all has nothing to do with dinner. Lol
You trying to always be the nice parent that always says yes has "nothing" to do with dinner?
You win. Yes it does man I am such a pushover.
This is an obvious overly negative sarcasm that's focused on your flaws, and in no way funny or cute. If you want advice, you should be more graceful taking it.
I'm the kind of person who values outside perspective, and sometimes people say things I don't want to hear. That's the risk I take asking strangers for their advice. Their kindness by responding to my request for outside perspective is not something I'm going to respond sarcastically to in reply. Look to yourself, and maybe you'll discover why your life is the way it is. Because if no one taught you to reply this way when good, caring people respond to your request for advice, then perhaps you have some childish emotion outburst issues you should discuss with your therapist (if not also your DH).0 -
Also how's this as I have discussed some of the above previously.
"This is what you signed up for". So not sure partner is a fair assessment. His parents where pretty old school.0 -
superhockeymom wrote: »Also how's this as I have discussed some of the above previously.
"This is what you signed up for". So not sure partner is a fair assessment. His parents where pretty old school.
Is he 18? Or is he 50? How many more years are YOU going to blame HIS UPBRINGING for the way he acts NOW? He's had 30-some years to "get over" the way he was raised, right?0 -
superhockeymom wrote: »sallygroundhog wrote: »superhockeymom wrote: »For me. I am going to work on this though getting tired of being a short order cook and then being called weird because I don't like what they eat. Lol
Tell them if they call you weird again, you are going on strike, and they will get no 'special' meals. You are doing all this work for them. They seem to feel entitled to having their preferences all the time, and then make fun of you? You are letting them disrespect you. Are they going to grow up thinking it is ok for them to always get what they want and that women have to give in to them?
I've said it before to this OP, and I'll say it again since it costs me $0.00. Patti, who taught you it was ok to be treated this way?
I was feeling pretty on top of the world today. No not so much.
No I do want my boys to grow up to disrespect anyone and honestly they are good boys tell me everything. It drives my husband crazy because they never talk to him at all. It's to bad but he lectures all the time. So they just avoid it.
It's good that they have someone to talk to
now use that time and teach them how to cook good food
chop and talk 0
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