We broke up because...
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she caught me cheating on her daddy with a younger man0
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That younger man was my brother!0
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she ahd way to many family members I keep getting caught0
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I wasn't a member of the family...
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He wouldn't get rid of the beard!0
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She kept whipping me in the face with her hair.0
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Got as big as a house0
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Called me fat
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Because he wouldn't let me wear red lipstick0
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jealous
he spent all day kissing his biceps0 -
I was jealous of his butt.0
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He smelt like 6 different perfumes none were mine
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She didn't like my new mix of 6 different perfumes0
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she tossed out my mix tape0
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Came home with an STD0
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she wet the bed0
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he ate the last oreo0
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Was always eating......biscuit crumbs in our bed0
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She never let me eat in bed...0
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She never let me eat
I want pie damnit0 -
I had lots of things for him to eat..he just said he wasn't hungry..too hard to please0
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He wanted to eat peanut butter off me even though he was aware of my allergies.0
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We were stuck on an island and I had to eat him.0
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Would never let me drive the bat mobile0
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Confused @jimmybanks for @handyrunner0
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Couldn't take a hint0
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She lived on top of a mountain. I had to rappel into her house for the first date0
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No sense of adventure0
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She said she was going on an adventure and never came back0
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That's not out of the realm of possibilities...
She was always waiting around like a lost puppy0
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