How is the MFPer above going to die?

Duckie life preserver got a hole and he drowned

Drank too much booze

Choked while fornicating

Auto eroticism gone to far

Random bus crash

Killed in her sleep by children who had had enough of being told what to do!

Was torn apart by same enthusiasts when they discovered he lied about the taste

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Under me..heart gave out

Mauled by a bear

Heel caught in street grate and she fell into street and ran over by a bus. Tragic.

She says "not yet" to one of the fellas in the crush thread, and disheartened, he decides to perform a love spell on her to try to win her affection. It goes awry, and instead, the spell turns her into a squirrel. Frightened in her new squirrel body, Jo darts away, but doesn't look where she's going and......splat.....gets run over by a car

Patricide

Was a victim of lisping lenny the luckless laplander
When caught redhanded lenny lisped "the fourth "and then shot himself
The bodies of the three other victims have not been found yet

Froze to death shovelling snow