"You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?
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My low weight was 175lbs (6'1.5") and I was told I was too skinny. I'm currently at 198, with little if any muscle mass, and I still get told I'm thin/fine. I'm back to overweight; that isn't fine.0
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Ignore them!
Do what makes you feel good about yourself as long as you know it's healthy. 1 -
It's gotten crazy that you can bad mouth someone skinny or fit or anything that is good. God forbid you ever tell someone wow you really have put on some weight.0
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My mother is convinced I need to see a nutritionist to make sure I don't develop anorexia as a result of my weight loss.
And she understands that I needed to lose weight and that I'm doing it the smart way, she's just like...shocked I guess.0 -
I think what I found most frustrating was the fact that my family kept telling me things like "I'll buy you a gym pass" or making other comments about how I should lose weight before I began dieting, but now that I'm at a healthy BMI & a weight I feel good about, I constantly receive comments about how I should eat more. I'm not going to let them influence me, but it's gotten to the point where I'll diet a bit before visiting family so that I can eat more to avoid confrontation.
I was pretty vocal about dieting earlier before, so maybe I shot myself in the foot. Me being vocal was more about requesting healthier food so I could still join in the fun, but I'm sure it rubbed off as me bragging to some.
In any case, you just have to look at yourself in the mirror & appreciate all the hard work you've done, even if other people try to bring you down. Sometimes I think dieting forces those around you to judge themselves more harshly, so encouraging you to eat more is just a reaction to this self-judgement.0 -
I've got called that many times growing up. I come to learn that, it's not me...it's the people. Those who use to call me that are not in the perfect shape themselves- I guess they either say that to make you fee like you have to gain weight or their vocab choice is limited to "skinny" and not like "toned, slim, healthy".0
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I've been maintaining for almost 3 years now and I'm quite happily smack bang in the middle of the BMI for my height. At 61 I'm resigned to the fact that my 'mummy tummy' will be a life companion - so just that feature ensures me that I'm not over-thin!
Last week I was REALLY poorly with gastroenteritis, and I looked it!! My elder son coincidently took a photo of his son - who was on my lap and put it in an online photo album accessible by friends and family. A close friend who has not seen mean IRL for about 6 weeks seriously took me to task using the image as evidence I'd 'over done it'.
The image was compared to one from 4.5 years ago - 50 lbs ago - at my son's wedding. It seemed I looked happier - YES it was a very happy occasion and I didn't feel like death warmed up!!
It seemed that I looked younger - YES I was, 4.5 years younger, in full make-up to define, contour and glamourise my face AND I didn't feel that death warmed up.
She also cited the fact that, on my way to visit her, I take the opportunity to stop and walk a couple of miles - an example of obsessive behaviour. She might have a slight point there - but she and her DH have disabilities which restrict their movement and I'm just trying to get my daily 10k steps in before I visit!!!!
Too long, I know
Edited to add para break2 -
I get it all the time from a few family members and co workers. I have lost 120 lbs and have an 18.5 BMI. People don't know how to react when you change your life. It forces them to look at themselves. It's easier to believe I have some disease then I found a way to sucsessefully loose weight and maintain it. You know if I can do it, why can't they.
My family I understand, because they love me and have genuine concern. But my co-workers.... Just rude. I don't need anyone's validation because I validate myself now : )0 -
Rethinking my relationship with food, feelings, and every other aspect of my life is how I arrived at the place I am today! I lost 275 pounds (410 to 135), emotional baggage, and 'religion' to become the healthiest I have ever been physically, emotionally and spiritually!
Do *I* hear the 'you're too skinny' or worse 'you look anorexic' comments? Of course! Do I care? Nope! I know, my family and friends know and my doctors know that I am THE healthiest, ever!
Who gives a rip what bystanders or 'haters' think? If they have walked with you, and truly know you- they won't speak badly of you.7 -
That's the equivalent of calling you obese all the time when you were heavier. Most don't see it that way but that's the reality of it. Call them out on it.0
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I've gotten those comments a lot. I'm 5'7", 132 lbs at the moment but in 2013 I got down to about 127-128. I've gotten the "too skinny" comments when I'm in that 127-132 or so range. I'm basically skinny fat so I'll realize I still have plenty of midsection fat to lose, BF% even in the high 20s at such a low weight but my arms and legs are skinny. It frustrates me b/c my limbs are always skinny for the most part but I think people only notice that when I'm slimmer overall. I am trying to do more HIIT and strength training to help with body recomp more so than just fat loss.0
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My family does this, but they are obese. I know they are saying it lightly so I just brush it off.0
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A family member told me this when I was at my smallest weight...when in reality, I was still 35 lbs overweight. They're just not used to seeing you that small...as time go on, the comments should go away. You look amazing!0
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A lot of the people who say I'm too skinny are often overweight, so I feel like I don't need to pay them any mind lol. My doctor says I'm good at my weight. My BMI is right smack dab in the middle of where I should be. I feel great and my numbers are good.
People were saying I'm too skinny when I was losing the weight, and I think it's because they were so used to me being big that when they saw me lose all the weight, it was a me they weren't familiar with. So it may have looked like I was losing too much weight.0 -
I wear slim fitting suits during the week and hear this occasionally from well-meaning (and often rotund) people who've never seen me in anything else.
I don't mind, but my wife? *kitten*! She's gone for the proverbial jugular on more than one occasion when she's heard that said to me.
We have a little understanding; My body is not my body. It's hers. And she'll defend it fiercely, apparently
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I get told frequently that I am to skinny yet I fall right where my doctor says I should be. I am tall so (5'8" ) people tend to think I should be heavier. I just explain I eat healthy when I can and I am right where I should be.1
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I'm a few pounds under my goal, but still in the range for my height. For my age, however, I would be healthier at my goal range - longevity speaking. People have always thought of me as little even when I was 35lb heavier because I carry my weight evenly and have good posture (it's amazing what standing up straight can do to your appearance).
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I get this. I am not underweight at all -- my happy zone is 113-115 lbs. at 5'1.5" which is appropriate for my small frame. I think people get confused because I am leaner and have more muscle than average, so I look much more jacked than most women. I don't particularly care what they think, however, as I like the lean and athletic look.0
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I have always been relatively skinny and I get it all the time. I'm looking at loosing three pounds but I'm really looking at just being healthier. The thing I hate the most is when people tell me that I need to eat more and get some meat on my bones. I'm a 5ft 11in male at 163 pounds and I know it is pretty good and I did a bod pod test a couple weeks ago and is said that I'm 23% fat which I know isn't bad. I would like to loose the little bit of a beer belly that I have acquired. I would love to have a 6 pack but I'm not sure if I have the dedication to get there.0
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I've been called scrawny a lot lately. I've had neighbors tell my husband that I'm "wasting away." I want to lose 100lbs total, and I'm only 15lbs from hitting that goal. To my friends and family it's just crazy.
My goal weight is 25lbs from being considered "underweight" for my height so I know that I am doing just fine. While I do not put any value in the BMI chart, I know how I feel and the people I love are just looking out for me. As others have said, its just different and it takes time for people to accept the change. I personally think it's flattering to be called scrawny, I've been obese all of my life so scrawny in comparison to the other things I've been called is a nice change.0 -
farfromthetree wrote: »It is embarassing when people say that because I never know how to respond. It's just because they are not used to seeing you as "thin" yet. If you were always 125 no one would say anything. I think you look great and your calorie range shows you have a healthy perspective. I think the best response is something like "No, I am fine and I feel great!"
That's a good point; it's not necessarily my current weight, but rather the deviation from my previous weight in comparison to how I look now.I have dealt with this as well. Unfortunately, I don't have a snappy comeback. I usually just give a vague "I'm within a healthy weight range" or "my doctor is very happy with my current weight". I find it so interesting that the same person who is saying it would never dream of telling another "you're too fat", but I really think it's the same thing.
All I can tell you is that is gets better with time. I hit my goal weight around 7 months ago, and the comments are on the decline.
If you are in the normal range for BMI and at 18% BF, I doubt you have body dysmorphia or an eating disorder. However, you could have a chat with your doctor, just to confirm this.
I could not agree more about the "too skinny" comments being the same as "too fat", yet no one would dare tell anyone they were looking too fat (well, not in a civilized conversation anyway!).
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I totally agree with the statement that people don't say you're too fat. People are just rude.
I started my weight loss back on May 2015 when I was 146.5 pounds. I am about 5'1. Becoming uncomfortable with myself, getting the full under jaw, full face, and thicker arms, pushing 150 pounds, getting older, and wanting to be healthy, I was ready to make a change. At the end of September 2015 I was finally at my goal weight of 110. I was eating healthy, feeling great, and working out 5-7 days a week.
Then bam, the questions came. "Are you sick?" "Don't lose no more weight." "Are you okay?" "What have you been doing?". "You're too skinny".
I started looking more at myself wondering, do I really look that bad? At this point I just wanted to maintain my goal weight and work at staying healthy, but I felt like discontinuing my efforts.
I decided, some people want to see you fail. Some people don't want to see you succeed because of their failures. The key to fitness is being healthy and I knew the exercising was helping thw stress I dealt with as well. For once in my life I was and am proud of myself for succeeding. I have always given up on my efforts in many things. It's easy to do when your own family doesn't give you support or help motivate you when obstacles get in your way. My mother even said to me "don't lose no more weight, you're too skinny". "Your head looks long". I'm like, what the heck? This didn't happen overnight.
I motivated ME and with the hard work it took to get me at this weight I'm gonna make every effort to stay as healthy and physically fit for as long as I can, while I can.
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I hate this. I've heard this before too..you need more carbs, a woman has to have some fat blah blah blah. Rain on my parade! I think bottom line people are always going to tell you based on what they think is good for themselves and really, that has nothing to do with you! Actually, for the first time in my life I am happy with the way I look naked. And I do not think I am too skinny. Women need to stop criticizing each other and just accept one another for who they are period. It's not healthy behavior and doesn't produce anything.
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It's been my experience overall that people's comments like that are a reflection of what they think of themselves. Maybe some people are feeling inadequate about themselves because you've done something they haven't, or in the case of the friend who's 10 lbs. lighter, maybe she's losing a secret sense of superiority.
pretty wise words. makes me think of a lunch out I had with a friend, who was encouraging me to eat things like cheesecake and was eating loads of junk herself.1 -
I explain things with science. That usually shuts them up. I provide data from the NIH, and I do not have to hear the too skinny or toothpick comments anymore (at least from that person)0
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This is such a weird thing!! My father in law always comments that I look skinny and "don't get too skinny!" I lost a lot of fat from my face but my body looks great! I'm strong and still a little thick. I feel like I look just right and it makes me feel bad when people say things like that. You never forget it either. Like one time I ran into a male friend in the grocery store and he commented on my weight! I was not happy and I told him that you don't say that to people, and that I will never forget that he said that. Same with my father in law just stop already!!0
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just today, I sent some shirtless pics to my SO of me flexing and not flexing. The response? "I am going to call an anorexia hotline. You look underweight to me."
My bmi is just now 24.6. And this could just be a water fluctuation getting me this low lol... humblebrag 0 -
Well at 5'6 and 125 lbs im pretty sure you look super skinny i say this for personal experiance when i got down to 138 im also 5'6 i got those comments from friends and family alot i had 15% body fat ...i guess the only thing u can do is ignore the comments i mean its ur body and health0
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This may be part of it too. The fatter the average American gets, the more abnormal and distressing it is for the average American to see what a normal-BMI human looks like.
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Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences, thoughts and opinions on this issue. It is so refreshing to know there are so many of you who encounter the same issues once their weight loss hits a point where people actually notice a significant change.
After losing almost 90lbs over three years (the last 50lbs with MFP) I can honestly say that the "you're too skinny" comment has been coming thick & fast for me recently. Up until now I have been taken back, almost apologetic and shameful, for what I have achieved. I am 5ft 2" and 110lbs, with a very healthy BMI. After reading your posts, I am no longer going to be.
My favourite response so far was this one. "Too skinny for what?". LOL! I can't wait to use it, and I'm pretty sure I won't have to wait long! Keep up the wonderful work everyone, and always smile knowing you have worked so damn hard for what you've achieved. Don't let ignorance, jealousy and stupidity ruin it xx0
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