WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2016

What a roller coaster of a day.

Started with giving the program at Church Women United. What a sweet bunch of ladies! (Kind of reminded me of another sweet bunch.) many of the women were African American therefore very participatory in the presentation. There was a lot of "yes Lord"s and "amen sister"s. Plus these women knew their scripture and would quote it out loud along with me. It was truly amazing.

Then, I went to the Honda dealership and traded in my 2008 perfectly fine (except for the killer shrapnel shooting airbag) CRV for a brand spanking new 2016 with 3 miles on it. It is quite the dream car, and they did give me a great deal. It has leather seats, a backup camera, a right lane blind spot camera, and a navigation system. I definitely traded up.

Then, I had to charge my Fitbit and forgot to put it back on before I headed out for the three mile walk so I didn't get credit for my steps in the weekly challenge. Ok, thus one is just whiny, but I am spoiled.

Now, I am really about to be a spoiled rotten, selfish princess, so skip this part if you want to continue to like me. My sister fell and broke her other wrist (you may or may not remember she broke her right one in Seotember and I spent three weeks with her). She was shopping and it happened outside the store in the rain. The scary part is that she doesn't remember falling, which makes me wonder if something else is going on. Well, the niece called me to tell me while she was on the way to the store to see about my sister. She definitely wants (I hate to go so far as to say expects) me to head on out there again. I really don't want to go. I have a class starting tomorrow that is going to last for the next four Saturdays. I'm doing pulpit supply on Sunday morning at two churches, and I've promised a math teacher to sub for her on the 10th and 11th. She is chaperoning the senior trip to Europe and they are gone already. I am not going to bail on her with her already in Europe. They have to get their own subs. I've told my niece that I can leave on Sunday after my preaching gig, getting to NOLA by 10 or so, but that I will have to leave the following Sunday.

I can take my yoga mat and Dumbbells with me, but I won't get the workouts I get at the gym. I know I'm being spoiled rotten about the whole thing, and I will go for the week if I have to, but this whole turn of events has just ruined my day that started out so great. And on a more serious note, I really hate it for my sister. This may send her over the edge. Her right wrist is not healing like it should and now she has the other one broken! She's going to have to take short term disability from work. I don't see any way around it. It's going to be a financial setback for her. Which makes me feel even more guilty for making it about me.

Thanks for listening if you've made it this far. Please don't judge me too harshly for my pettiness. Some of you deal with much worse on a daily basis, and I admire you for it.

Lenora, your sister's surgery sounds like a lot like my sis's except for the flap. They did a double mastectomy with the reconstruction at the same time. But she developed MRSA infection in one of the mastectomies. So the 'spacer' that you spoke of had to be removed. But they continued with the inflation of the one spacer. So she was quite lopsided until they knew the MRSA was all gone and they could put the spacer in the other breast. My sis is a little strange. she is quite outspoken. She called her son and asked him what size of implant he thought she should have. He was quite put off about it. I asked her today if the surgeon mentioned in the pathology what the stage of this new cancer was. He said he wasn't qualified in saying that. How much qualifying does it take to read a pathology report. I guess he didn't think he was qualified to answer any questions about what stage it is.

Charlie had his appointment with the gastro guy this afternoon. It was a productive appointment. I don't know what that office would do without their nurse practitioners. he saw the doctor when he had his colonoscopy and when he was in the hospital when he had meningitis. Anyway, to make sure that he can get his infusion next week, they did a stool test to make sure he doesn't have the C diff infection again. And if he does have it he will have a stool implant. And to do that, it is done during a colonoscopy. She did start him on a big cortisone dose that will last about 6 weeks. If he has the infection he has to stop the cortisone. But if he doesn't have an infection, they will still do a colonoscopy since he hasn't made any progress at all. He had his diagnosing colonoscopy last April and he really hasn't had any change. She did recommend a good probiotic that won't change the course of the colitis but would enhance his medicine.

Katla, I had never thought of me being rich in family but I guess I am. Now Charlie's family is the exact opposite. But that's a whole other story. I am glad eh truly and dearly loves my family and thought my parents were terrific. He very highly regarded them. My girls are super. I do have enough meals for me to make 3 meals while they are here but found out tonight that they will leave on Wednesday instead of Tuesday morning.

Kim, love, love those irises. My Mom had then around her big tree, between yards and behind their garage. She had a small yard. When she sold her house and went into the retirement center apartment, my sister went over there and pulled up bulbs to put in her yard. Then they came up and boy was she surprised! She had pulled up green onions. She is like me, no green thumb.

Love you all. To all the new ladies joining us, you have no idea the kind of support, kindness and love you will find here.

Joyce, Indiana

Dr. Katiebug, I don't think it is selfish to feel you have the responsibility to meet commitments made before hand and that cannot be changed at this late date. WE (I say that collectively) as women and perhaps even more so for us with a propensity to eat our way through stress, seem to feel we don't have the right to say I am so sorry this happened to you, but I have prior commitments. I think you have been more than generous to offer to stay a week. Stand in fron of the mirror look yourself in the eye and repeat after me "I am not an awful sister/person, I will offer help to be best of my ability". Above that is NOT feasible. Big (((hugs))).

By the way, I would love to hear one of your presentations/sermons, are they ever recorded? Have I ever mentioned on this site that my ex-husband was an ordained Conservative Baptist Minister?

Janetr OKC

Morning Ladies~
I am up and having my first cup of tea...
Think Tom enjoyed having my paycheck in the bank and me not here when I was taking care of Faith, I would come after the gym, after he had left for work, and I would do laundry, make his lunch and dinner, and the boys food for dinner... and then be gone when he got home. He enjoyed that arrangement. He was on his computer last night looking up stuff,like a map and didnt come to bed until later..
There is no woman involved but he is just pulling farther and farther away..
I will not budge... this is his idea , and if he really wants out then he has to make the move not me...
He will be going to Florida the end of the month for a week or so to close up the house down there..

Hi, folks. I'm new round here, having just started using the app (which I love) after trying literally all the other diet/carb or cals counting in the App Store.

Personal info: I'm 65 (am I the oldest here?), very sedentary because of chronic pain & very frequent migraines so I spend much of my time in bed, and need to lose weight to bring down my extra-high blood pressure and high cholesterol or the doc won't prescribe any more HRT. The very thought of having to go back to almost constant hot sweat/cold sweat changes every minute or two, all day, plus 'shudders' (like 'someone waking on my grave' — is that just a Scottish saying? — and goose pimples all over while sort of convulsing) while it's happening, plus constant morning nausea (having never had that in two pregnancies) is more than I can tolerate. (Yes, I know that at my age I ought to be past all that. Wish I were. But I know from a medical exam I was still ovulating in my mid fifties, so I guess I'm just a very late starter at the menopause thing.) I know all this makes me sound like a totally self-absorbed, pain-in-the-butt, neurotic freak, but I'm quite stable and cheerful, really!

Location: I live right on the coast, 400 yards from a beautiful pink-sand beach, in an old crofters' cottage in a tiny hamlet in the very northernmost part of Scotland's rugged and spectacularly lovely West Coast. From every window we can see either the (usually) deserted beach or the waterfall farther up the little glen. Yes, I am extremely lucky, and even luckier in that I know how lucky I am; the Prozac probably helps! But along with the luck come the usual life stresses. For example my husband (32 years and counting — I hope) is diabetic and slowly recovering from some very drastic treatment from throat cancer, and my eldest step son died of cancer during my husband's treatment.

Past life: I was a college lecturer for some years (psychology) before branching out on my own as a management consultant and writer on management issues. Now I do d*#% all, but kid myself I'm preparing to write a) a novel (yeah, like everyone else) and b) the book on fashion psychology my husband and I have been researching and making copious notes on for over 30 years.

So, now you know more about me (if you were kind enough to plough through it all) than you could possibly wish for.

Finally, my goals for April:
a) use the app to take meticulous note of every morsel I eat so that I become more aware of my (bad) eating habits in order to change to better ones
b) aim for fewer than 1,000 calories a day (my basal metabolic rate is somewhere between 1,200 and 1,400) and fewer than 30 net carbs
c) aim for whatever is the recommended maximum level of saturated fat (once I've found out what that is)
d) use my Pilates machine (a domestic version of the Reformer used in gyms) for a minimum of 15 minutes at least 5 days a week (health issues permitting) aiming for at least 30 minutes by the end of the month, on the way to a full Pilates sequence by the end of May.
e) get out of the house in to the garden for a minimum of 15 minutes at least 3 times a week, weather permitting, preferably doing some kind of actual gardening.
f) by the end of the month, walk to the beach and back (up a very steep hill)

Wish me luck? (I'll need all the support and encouragement I can get.)

About you guys:
Loved all the pics of grandchildren (mine live 600+ miles away so I don't see much of them ☹️) especially the one of the little girl's determination not to anyone mess with her ponytail! '
I was so impressed by that amazing Harry Potter quilt. That will be some child's prize possession I'm sure, and probably passed down to the following generation too. How lovely to know you've made an heirloom, and such a clever one too.
I'm in awe of all those who do things like weight training (Does lifting and moving my heavy Pilates machine count?
As for those who go regularly to the gym I bow down before your ability to commit to something tough and stick to it. I'm hopeless at that kind of thing, I never seem able to stick to any regular commitment, even ones I would enjoy. (Rewards don't work as a motivator for me, and I've never had the least vestige of an endorphin rush after hard exercise; I just feel sweaty and exhausted.) As for all that hard effort once you get to the gym, I can only applaud you with all my heart. The very idea of all that work just makes me want to lie down for a nap!

Beth I will be thinking of your ds as he auditions this afternoon.

Using this weekend to clean out the fridge and pre-plan my meals for the busy week ahead. We are looking at another cold week, so I will enjoy my comfort food soup and stews for one more week and then move ahead to more Spring like meals. I love eating seasonally, the asparagus is terrific right now.

Planning on growing sugar snap peas this time around, anybody have advice about that? Never grown them before, do they hang on teepee type set up or just some kind of support? Anybody??

Karen from NY cause we have a new Karen posting, welcome!

Beth prayers for DS and that he succeeds.

Drkatie bug agree. Having your own life is what keeps you healthy. It is not selfish to take care of yourself. Do what you feel comfortable for your sister. We feel pressure as woman to step into the care giver role at our own expense. I am sorry that happened to your sister. Prayers for you and her.

The book I am reading called The Dance of Anger is about how woman handle anger sometimes in my case how anger handles me. It has started me reflecting is what is my family roots and how conflict, anger, and crisis was handled in my family. What roles did family members take on and how did they react. It has also gotten me thinking how to use it as am impetus for change rather than to be reactive. One suggestion I am trying now is just to try and observe myself in situations of conflict.

Yesterday I had plenty of practice. I was in a classroom where one student was in frequent conflict with others. I found myself adding to the conflict by the tone in my voice. He also reacted when I tried to approach him in a neutral manner. I did find myself feeling frustrated and angry with the situation. Upon reflection I want to work on what is my role? My role is to help the students learn their basics not get caught in power struggles and keep the class moving forward. I did have help with the student and I asked for it. I also followed through when I had a chance to reinforce a positive behavior

Asking what is my role? Clarifying what your limits are and accepting this is part of the process in using anger to help change your life.

I am writing about this because I know issues with anger is having a negative effect on my health. The author does caution as you change your reactions others around you may push back. They have their own agenda that may or may not be in your best interest. Ultimately you can only be responsible for yourself and let others gain responsibility for themselves so that you can work as a team towards a goal that will benefit you both.

Margaret

Good morning ,,, and welcome to all the new ladies.

Kay ... You are by no means selfish, spoiled or petty. Boundaries are important in all relationships. ... Especially families where members tend to ignore them.

Well, I've allowed old habits to get the upper hand and the scale proved it this morning. Quite disgusted. The overall trajectory over the past year has been up, not down. Putting a stop to it now!

A determined Beth near Buffalo

Call me crazy but I love to see other people happy and succeeding.

Good Morning, Ladies.

Kimses, Happy Anniverary. Starting your exercise slow and steady is a good way to go. Just remember that weightloss is 80% what we eat and 20% exercise. That tells us that it is very important that we log everything that goes in our mouths. That way we can look back and see where we need to make adjustments. You can do this and we4 are with you.

Sue, good to see you again. I"m glad you are getting a little better. Hope you are back to 100% very soon.

Rori, sorry you don't have travel in April but hopefully we will get to see you more often because of it. We will keep you from going stir crazy. (((Hugs)))

Chakra7Chic, welcome to a great group for support and information. Please tell us about yourself so we can get to know you. We also ask that you sign each post with the name you want to be called and a location, general or specific.

Betty, I'm with you on that fortune cookie. I might have tried to stuff it back in a cookie. lol

Katla, so happy for your DS and DDIL that they found a house so soon.Have fun at horsey riding, Ms Pro.

P Dillo, welcome to you as well. Start to wrap your head around the fact that you aren't on a diet but a new lifestyle of healthy eating. This is a life journey for me that has no end. Hopefull when I reach my goal I'll be able to adjust what I eat somewhat to maintain for the re3st of my life. Please tell us a little about yoursself and sign each post with the name you want to be called.

Kay, congrats on the new car. It sounds wonderful!! That is really too bad about your sister. And it's okay to whine a bit about it being inconvenient for you, because you will still go to help her. If it were no inconvenience at all and just a fun trip there would be no sacrafice. You are a good sister!!!

Joyce, I'm sending good thoughts for Charlie and the next proceedures. Sure with they could find something to help him.

Allie, I don't want to sound like a broken record but I can't imagine why Tom would want out when he has a free, full time maid, cook, laundry wench, etc. You do so much for him even when you are off helping someone else. Is he helpless? I love my DH and he is so good to me but I don't even do all that for him when I go away. He is as capable as I am to cook a meal and he already does the laundry for both of us. *grin* I'm just saying, think about it. ((((Hugs))))

Heather, I'm sure you are missing the grands something terrible. I feel like getting teary eyed for you. I hope your DS and DDIL enjoy their new adventure and the job works out great.

Sleepyscribbler, welcome. You aren't the oldest for sure. I might be? I'll be 69 later this month. I know there are a few others between you and me, but age is just a state of mind anyway. We have some published writers among us so you will fit right in. I don't like exercise and I love to eat but the reward for me is losing weight. Since I found MFP and this group I have lost 60 pounds and gotten off all my diabetic medication. I can do so much more that I could for years and have more energy. Come often and join right in. Please sign your posts with the name you want to be called. Oh yes, and we want pictures from around where you live, please.

Lisa, sounds like a busy time before you leave on your get-away. You and DH have fun and I hope you both relax.

Beth, I'm with you. I don't know why I've become so weak in resisting some foods. It's just a matter of saying "NO". We can both get back on track and lose what we've gained.

It was still raining when I got up this morning but it may have stopped now. We are getting a new door to go from the garage out to the back yard that had to be ordered from Home Depot. It is in so we might get to pick it up this afternoon. I'm sure it will stick out the back of my SUV so we don't want to do it in the rain. Then I can schedule the handy man to come back and get it on for us. I hope none of you have been in the path of the terrible storms that were overnight.

I hope you all have a happy and healthy day.

Words I live by:
Savor: I have to slow down and savor every bite.
Opportunity: Each day offers new opportunities for good health and happiness if we just look for them and choose them.

Love you,
DJ
Myrtle Beach, SC

I'm new to the group. I have been using Myfitnesspal since January of 2015. In total I have lost 66 pounds. I have set a new goal of losing 5 more pounds. With this I will be happy. My body has not let me exercise. But I'm working on that now. I had hip replacement 14 years ago and now I am having the left side redone. I have had 7 hip dislocations, 3 this year alone. Enough of that. I love your word for 2016 alacrity. It best describes me, for the last year now. I love it. I too will try to use this word in spreading the joy of life!!

Good morning everyone. One of my goals for April is to overcome depression from not being able to be active, still recovering from hysterectomy. I had a good day yesterday then yesterday evening had pain. I want to be able to freely move about again. It's only been 4 weeks, 4 days. I go for my post op appt next Friday, I hope to be released to lift more than 5lbs! Just ready to get back to life!

Good morning, all! Happy Saturday!

Beth- Sending good luck and good vibes to your son as he auditions.
Sleepy Scribbler, Melanie and Kelly- Welcome to a great group! Just remember that it takes baby steps to get you started. You can't run a marathon on your first day of running, you can't lift 35 pounds on your first day of strength training. Start small with small goals and enjoy the small victories. As you get stronger, your goals will move with you and get bigger, but the next step up/forward is still just as small as your first step. Kelly, my name is also Kelly but most people call me KJ.
Katie- Don't be hard on yourself. You do have a life that you need to maintain and you need to take care of yourself so you CAN care for others. I so understand where you are at with your frustration as a caregiver. I was all set to enjoy my week off this week, not caring for children; when my MIL ended up in hospital. My dh is suffering side effects from his RA meds, which left me heading into the city (45 minute drive) to be with MIL. 45 minutes is not a long drive, but long enough for me to rant and fume and wallow in my self pity. LOL! I arrived and couldn't find close parking so had to park about half mile away. The walk allowed me cool down time. I arrived at MIL's bedside, calm and able to provide some comfort and company for FIL. We do what we can...
Kristan- Yea! Squats! The first day was a piece of cake. Not feeling anything yet. I don't think it will hit me until week two or three. I am adding weights to these first couple weeks. (only five or ten pounds)
Kim- I bet you could correct my wasteful water problem! IN fact, it is the thought of all of the drought stricken lands/people that made me realize that I have a wasteful water habit. Maybe it is living so close to all of the fresh water that makes it seem NOT sinful to waste. BUT: I have hung a sign over my sink that says TURN IT OFF. So far, it seems to be working. My daughter lives in the Fort Worth area, and she called me concerned over the high price of her water bill. She said "Isn't this awfully expensive? Do you pay this much?" I had to remind her that in Michigan, water is not really a high priced commodity. Well, with the exception of Flint. She is now living in an area that rations water.
Lora, Karen, and all of you other gardeners- I have garden envy! The flowers, the veggies, etc. I am just starting to plant things. I have aspirations of growing lovely things. Right now my gardening mantra is "Me, Miracle Grow, and God". I plant, feed and water, and let God do the rest. My roses seem to like it. My herbs do well the more I ignore them. My big project last year was to move my wild strawberry plants to planters so the kids would stop walking on them.
kimses- Congrats on 27 years! My hubby and I are coming up on 27. I continue to be amazed that we made it this long. I have been married to him longer than I had my parents. Sobering thought.
Larisa- HOLY SCHNEIKES! 75 pounds, uphill for 2 1/2 miles?! Amazon woman, indeed! I bet you could find a way to put this in mfp. I think they have a "sled" calculation. Seriously...THAT is freaking amazing!
Margaret- I seriously just spent about 10-15 minutes backtracking through the posts looking for the person who posted about the book that sounded like something I would like to read! LOL! I need to have my eyes checked, because your post was just a few above mine. Dance of Anger sounds like something that will interest me and I will have to check it out. Who is the author?

I had an epiphany moment last night. For about seven years, I have been focusing my childcare trainings on children's brains. Taking training sessions on how kids brains are wired, behavior differences in the genders, learning possibilities and how they learn, etc. I have thought about taking formal college courses on the brain and neuroscience for about two years because a two hour training session can't get very deep into any subject. Now in the past four months "brains" and "brain health issues" have taken a front seat in my life. My younger sister's brain cancer diagnosis, involvement in a friend's organizing of a "run" for hydroencephaly and brain disorders, and now my MIL's "brain" tracking and EEG testing. I was talking to my son about all of this last night and he said "I think you need to sign up for a couple of fall classes, it will give you an idea of what you want to do." So...I started my class search today, I will spend some time this week talking to a couple of local colleges regarding financial aid for women/women over 40/50, checking out grants and scholarships. I am on my way back to school! On my way to my "When I grow up, I want to be..." career! Finally!