Married and heavy flirting good or bad

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Replies

  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    I'm not a farmer.
  • wuwu90
    wuwu90 Posts: 275 Member
    Anything i wouldnt want my partner to do, i wouldnt do. That includes heavy flirting
  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    My great relatives were chicken farmers...you'd think choking chickens would be in my blood.
  • xbowhunter
    xbowhunter Posts: 1,309 Member
    This post hits home with me.

    There is an older couple that one of our family member is friends with. Husband is a pilot/wife is a retired nurse.

    Last time we were out with them I noticed the husband started some heavy flirting with my wife.
    A few of the comments he made to her.
    "Oh your so skinny how do you stay like that"
    "Boy you smell good what are you wearing?"
    "If your husband ever leaves you give me a call"
    "hey can I hug your wife"
    "Hey is your wife for sale I would like to buy her"

    I told him what-ever man give it a rest & keep your distance Jack! I was then labeled as a jealous husband & I was over reacting.

    This was not jealousy on my part. I see it as I was disrespected by the guy flirting with my wife & he was also disrespecting his wife by saying those things to my wife. If he does it again I am going snap & this will not end well... :(
  • rockgoddess2016
    rockgoddess2016 Posts: 8,663 Member
    My opinion is this. If you can't tell anyone about it. Then you shouldn't be doing it
  • lifesnotfare
    lifesnotfare Posts: 169 Member
    lol this is a debatable question topic? lol
  • SecretWeaponKevin
    SecretWeaponKevin Posts: 85 Member
    Every relationship is different so it's an impossible question to have a general consensus on. As long as it's open, agreed upon, and communicated between spouses it doesn't really matter.
  • iamfat102
    iamfat102 Posts: 1 Member
    just do it, as long as not noticed.
  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    edited April 2016
    xbowhunter wrote: »
    This post hits home with me.

    There is an older couple that one of our family member is friends with. Husband is a pilot/wife is a retired nurse.

    Last time we were out with them I noticed the husband started some heavy flirting with my wife.
    A few of the comments he made to her.
    "Oh your so skinny how do you stay like that"
    "Boy you smell good what are you wearing?"
    "If your husband ever leaves you give me a call"
    "hey can I hug your wife"
    "Hey is your wife for sale I would like to buy her"

    I told him what-ever man give it a rest & keep your distance Jack! I was then labeled as a jealous husband & I was over reacting.

    This was not jealousy on my part. I see it as I was disrespected by the guy flirting with my wife & he was also disrespecting his wife by saying those things to my wife. If he does it again I am going snap & this will not end well... :(

    See I would never think of that as flirting just sill stupid comments that illicit eye rolling
  • jammer1963
    jammer1963 Posts: 106 Member
    NO NO NO... lead us not unto temptation...
  • hdatres
    hdatres Posts: 635 Member
    My husband is really sensitive and jealous. If we're riding down the road and I say "he has a nice truck" my husband will say "well ,get him if that's what you want"
    He knew when he met me 4 years ago ,that I was a social butterfly and love talking to people,
    So ,in my case I can't even make a comment about or too another person man or woman ( because I'm bi) without being criticized for it.
    But my guess ,is if you have to sneak or hide it it's a bad thing.
  • _incogNEATo_
    _incogNEATo_ Posts: 4,537 Member
    hdatres wrote: »
    My husband is really sensitive and jealous. If we're riding down the road and I say "he has a nice truck" my husband will say "well ,get him if that's what you want"
    He knew when he met me 4 years ago ,that I was a social butterfly and love talking to people,
    So ,in my case I can't even make a comment about or too another person man or woman ( because I'm bi) without being criticized for it.
    But my guess ,is if you have to sneak or hide it it's a bad thing.

    So your husband is a really jealous person, but you're bisexual? How does that work? How does somebody who is really jealous deal with not only having to worry about the flirting with men, but with women as well?

    #justlookingforanswers
  • hdatres
    hdatres Posts: 635 Member
    hdatres wrote: »
    My husband is really sensitive and jealous. If we're riding down the road and I say "he has a nice truck" my husband will say "well ,get him if that's what you want"
    He knew when he met me 4 years ago ,that I was a social butterfly and love talking to people,
    So ,in my case I can't even make a comment about or too another person man or woman ( because I'm bi) without being criticized for it.
    But my guess ,is if you have to sneak or hide it it's a bad thing.

    So your husband is a really jealous person, but you're bisexual? How does that work? How does somebody who is really jealous deal with not only having to worry about the flirting with men, but with women as well?

    #justlookingforanswers

    We spend a lot of time alone together, he's not jealous with family. And if we are among other people I hold his hand and give him my full attention. I don't let my sees wonder. .......... I thought that he would have appreciated my complete honesty when we first met but it seems to be slapped in my face.
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  • looking4gains
    looking4gains Posts: 88 Member
    edited April 2016
    If you wanna flirt, Leave the relationship. Because obviously you're bored as heck and tired of the monotonous evenings. Find happiness. If you're truly happy and you both make an effort to rock each other's socks off there is no urge to look elsewhere because you got the prime choice at home. Just my opinion. Been divorced and I'm soo much happier now. A relationship should be equal comprimise. Not sacrifice of who you are.
  • pie_eyes
    pie_eyes Posts: 12,964 Member
    These comments say if all

    I'm glad these people exist
  • jarablue
    jarablue Posts: 127 Member
    edited April 2016
    Do the heavy flirting with your wife. I respect all women and will be happy and friendly. But my love is for my squeeze. In my opinion, something isn't right if you feel like you need to flirt with anyone but your wife. Does that mean you can't talk crap with your buddies or be like damn she is fine? Of course not we are all men. But at the end of the day the only one who should get that passion is the one you promised yourself to on the altar.

    Maybe sit down with her and have mindblowing rainbow energy generating sex a few nights. Really go to town with her. Paint the house. Sex is so fleeting. An orgasm lasts what? 10 seconds? What a waste to think about having it with someone else other than your woman.
  • Khaleesi2012
    Khaleesi2012 Posts: 84 Member
    Bad. It's basically why I'm contemplating divorce from my, "husband," now. He's only my husband by legal matters and the sense of the word.
  • jmule24
    jmule24 Posts: 1,382 Member
    Absolutely 100% bad and unacceptable. There is little respect to you. I just went through my live in boyfriend/high school sweetheart of 10 years cheating on me and I've read the book "Surviving an Affair". VERY good book even if you haven't gone through an affair. It just outlines ways and "laws" to avoid an affair and this is one of them. This opens the door to very bad things.

    I flirt very heavy in real life and around here. Everybody knows my marital status. I have restraint. I have respect. I have boundaries. Never had an affair and don't think I ever will. My wife sees it in real life, most times with her extremely attractive coworkers and just rolls her eyes or tells them how bad I am in bed after I leave so that they don't think they're missing anything. Alls I'm saying is, it's not 100% bad. Ever!

    @_incogNEATo_ yeah but I'm pretty sure your side piece gets uber jealous knowing they aren't the only side piece......and the other side piece gets just as jealous because she realizes she isn't the only side piece either.....If a rough world we live in! Just remember what the Godfather said himself....... "It aint no fun, if the homeys can't have none!" :trollface:
  • Noelv1976
    Noelv1976 Posts: 18,948 Member
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  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    hdatres wrote: »
    My husband is really sensitive and jealous. If we're riding down the road and I say "he has a nice truck" my husband will say "well ,get him if that's what you want"
    He knew when he met me 4 years ago ,that I was a social butterfly and love talking to people,
    So ,in my case I can't even make a comment about or too another person man or woman ( because I'm bi) without being criticized for it.
    But my guess ,is if you have to sneak or hide it it's a bad thing.

    So your husband is a really jealous person, but you're bisexual? How does that work? How does somebody who is really jealous deal with not only having to worry about the flirting with men, but with women as well?

    #justlookingforanswers

    Because she's bisexual doesn't mean she's always hitting on women...men like him are jealous of everyone...

    OP, I understand...and I agree with the if you have to hide it it's bad. Your hubby may or may not change/soften as the years pass; Hopefully you've learned how to "get around" his jealousy, or at least cope xo
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    I heavy flirt with my wife constantly. She usually turns the hose on me. :sad:

    That's because you're a dirty boy...OBVIOUSLY!! Lucky wife, lucky hubby!! xo
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    I don't like flirting with anyone who's not my hubby, and I don't like for him to, either. Fortunately, we've passed those years, and are now in a quiet time together. We flirt crazily with each other in our empty nest, works for him, works for me!
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    pie_eyes wrote: »
    These comments say if all

    I'm glad these people exist

    I'm glad YOU exist... <3
  • _incogNEATo_
    _incogNEATo_ Posts: 4,537 Member
    hdatres wrote: »
    My husband is really sensitive and jealous. If we're riding down the road and I say "he has a nice truck" my husband will say "well ,get him if that's what you want"
    He knew when he met me 4 years ago ,that I was a social butterfly and love talking to people,
    So ,in my case I can't even make a comment about or too another person man or woman ( because I'm bi) without being criticized for it.
    But my guess ,is if you have to sneak or hide it it's a bad thing.

    So your husband is a really jealous person, but you're bisexual? How does that work? How does somebody who is really jealous deal with not only having to worry about the flirting with men, but with women as well?

    #justlookingforanswers

    Because she's bisexual doesn't mean she's always hitting on women...men like him are jealous of everyone...

    OP, I understand...and I agree with the if you have to hide it it's bad. Your hubby may or may not change/soften as the years pass; Hopefully you've learned how to "get around" his jealousy, or at least cope xo

    I didn't say she was always flirting with/hitting on men or women. She also answered my question already. Thanks though <3
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    hdatres wrote: »
    My husband is really sensitive and jealous. If we're riding down the road and I say "he has a nice truck" my husband will say "well ,get him if that's what you want"
    He knew when he met me 4 years ago ,that I was a social butterfly and love talking to people,
    So ,in my case I can't even make a comment about or too another person man or woman ( because I'm bi) without being criticized for it.
    But my guess ,is if you have to sneak or hide it it's a bad thing.

    So your husband is a really jealous person, but you're bisexual? How does that work? How does somebody who is really jealous deal with not only having to worry about the flirting with men, but with women as well?

    #justlookingforanswers

    Because she's bisexual doesn't mean she's always hitting on women...men like him are jealous of everyone...

    OP, I understand...and I agree with the if you have to hide it it's bad. Your hubby may or may not change/soften as the years pass; Hopefully you've learned how to "get around" his jealousy, or at least cope xo

    I didn't say she was always flirting with/hitting on men or women. She also answered my question already. Thanks though <3

    LOL! My bad! xo
  • kristinleah939
    kristinleah939 Posts: 14 Member
    Trouble :o
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    hdatres wrote: »
    My husband is really sensitive and jealous. If we're riding down the road and I say "he has a nice truck" my husband will say "well, get him if that's what you want"
    He knew when he met me 4 years ago, that I was a social butterfly and love talking to people,
    So, in my case I can't even make a comment about or too another person man or woman ( because I'm bi) without being criticized for it.
    But my guess, is if you have to sneak or hide it it's a bad thing.

    It's dreadful to have to walk around on eggshells all the time. That sounds emotionally abusive to me.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    edited April 2016
    I must not know what flirting is. I think of it as a harmless social pleasantry not intended to lead to sex, and certainly not out of line for a married person, as long as it stays on the flattering, but not sexual, side. People don't stop needing friends just because they get married.
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