Dealing with people that don't get it.

Enjcg5 · May 2016

Does anyone have a sarcastic response for people in their lives that have stupid things to say because of your lifestyle change? All of a sudden I'm apparently a prude because I pass on the donuts at work, bring my own lunch when work orders pizza, pass on the alcoholic beverages etc..
I'm not against any of these things but I want to choose how I get my calories in and plan accordingly. I don't want to eat free donuts an hour after I had my protein filled breakfast because *gasp* I'm not hungry!!!
Just having a heightened awareness of ALL the food around me (it's a lot) and changing my mindset has helped me out. I'm losing weight in a way that benefits my overall health for the long term.
Do people just not get it? Will the eyerolls stop?

fr33sia12 · May 2016

I actually get the opposite. My colleagues at work are impressed by my willpower to say no to the chocolates or drinks after work.

DanaDark · May 2016

If they don't get it, they never will.

It is usually a self defense mechanism where they belittle your change so they don't have to look at themselves and do something similar for their health.

You'll just need to fight back or learn to ignore them.

I have some catty friends that make comments. But they do so in a fun Golden Girls sort of way and know I have my goals and desires so its all fun and games there.

sympha01 · May 2016

Honestly, most people won't GAF if you just do your own thing. Being sanctimonious about it is what tends to trigger comments and eyerolls.

Enjcg5 · May 2016

Or they ask me what I'm doing to lose weight and look at me like I have a third eye when I tell them.... I'm not eating like a kitten anymore. I eat when I'm hungry and I'm drinking more water than ever! Amazing things happen when you just eliminate high calorie beverages.

Enjcg5 · May 2016

Nope. Not sanctimonious at all. I don't mention anything about it unless people inquire.

CupcakesMom2 · May 2016

While this frustrates me, I feel its something I need to work on because you can't change other people, only yourself. So I try to ignore it and smile. No way is someone going to pressure me into eating something, this is hard enough.

bpetrosky · May 2016

I simply say "No thanks, I'm cutting back." If they press further, I just say "I've planned my meals for the day and sticking to that, feel free to take my portion."

There's really no further explanation needed. They do their thing, you do yours.

RodaRose · May 2016

They will get bored and move on to something else eventually.
For now, ignore them.

RodaRose · May 2016

Enjcg5 wrote: »

Nope. Not sanctimonious at all. I don't mention anything about it unless people inquire.

When they inquire, give a really short general answer like I am trying to eat less or whatever.
In other words, give them the shortest answer possible OR do not give them an answer at all because it is none of their business and this is your journey.

Adiemus200 · May 2016

Sometimes yes. When people bring cake to work and I don't want any. I say that's very kind but I'm trying to cut back. Most people are okay, some look at me if I'm some kind of a weirdo. One time we had a sales rep come to work and he brought sandwiches and cake in. When there is free food at my work place people go a bit crazy and eat as much as they can. I just quietly are my own lunch with out saying anything. Some people laughed at me. " why eat your own lunch when you can eat all this free food?" As they tuck into their third peace of cake. I just ingnore it and carry on.

Lounmoun · May 2016

Enjcg5 wrote: »

Does anyone have a sarcastic response for people in their lives that have stupid things to say because of your lifestyle change?
Do people just not get it? Will the eyerolls stop?

I wouldn't go sarcastic if you want the comments and eyerolls to stop. I would go silent on the subject of food and weight loss. Repeat "No, thanks. I don't want it." or "I'm happy with my lunch. Enjoy your pizza." or "I'm not hungry right now." Then walk away and don't talk about it any more. You don't have to explain why you refuse something. Change the subject.
I have some life experience in making different life choices than family, friends or co-workers that they don't understand. They eventually shut up about those choices and they were bigger than skipping doughnuts. People will eventually drop the subject if you don't make a big deal about it.

Enjcg5 · May 2016

Adiemus200 wrote: »

Sometimes yes. When people bring cake to work and I don't want any. I say that's very kind but I'm trying to cut back. Most people are okay, some look at me if I'm some kind of a weirdo. One time we had a sales rep come to work and he brought sandwiches and cake in. When there is free food at my work place people go a bit crazy and eat as much as they can. I just quietly are my own lunch with out saying anything. Some people laughed at me. " why eat your own lunch when you can eat all this free food?" As they tuck into their third peace of cake. I just ingnore it and carry on.

This exactly! The kicker was when I was drinking a green smoothie at a work lunch. Like I was doing it to be defiant. Ummmm... No. And it's just as bad saying no to free alcohol.

LaLa482 · May 2016

I'm part of the no thanks club, the shorter the conversation the better.

celadontea · May 2016

There will always be people who won't get it. Just keep continuing to be real with yourself and why you are doing what you do. Someone will always say something. It is frustrating and annoying.

zyxst · May 2016

The middle finger works well.

"Why do you care what I eat?" or "Why is what I'm eating such a big deal for you?"

If you can, ignore them. My MIL is very commentating on what I'm cooking because she's the sort of person who has to talk 24/7/365. It's her way of controlling in a passive manner so when I do tell her to shut up, she can act righteously offended.

TavistockToad · May 2016

helenrosec0 wrote: »

I actually get the opposite. My colleagues at work are impressed by my willpower to say no to the chocolates or drinks after work.

This.

I'm not sure how people have a problem with 'I don't want a doughnut thanks, I'm not hungry'

upoffthemat · May 2016

I have found that not making a big deal of it is the easiest way. It is rare that I will be the only person declining anyway. If someone makes a big deal of it I just say "Ok, I am weird that way." and laugh it off.

Mavrick_RN · May 2016

My favorite go to line is "That looks good, I'm having mine later". They don't care, won't remember, won't ask again, eat what they want and move on. You have survived the moment and really can do what you want, eat some later or have your own lunch/treat.

You don't have to say "No" or spoil their fun. Say "Later" and just like their weight loss efforts it never happens.

AnnPT77 · May 2016

Maybe it's a character fault, but I tend to want to take the high road if possible when other people make inappropriate comments directed at me (in this or other contexts) . . . feels like I'm one up, karmically speaking, I guess. (And my hope is that it'll make me more boring to engage with on the subject in future, if they find that they can't get a rise out of me.)

So "No, thanks." "Not hungry right now." "I'm not much of a cake girl." "Looks delicious, but not for me, thanks." - that sort of thing works for me. If they pester, then (raised eyebrow) followed by emphatic "No . . . *thank you*."

Dealing with people that don't get it.

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