We broke up because...
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Wouldn't let me wear shoes0
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Last time I let her she attached blades to them!0
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She put knives in my pudding0
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She was paranoid0
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She wouldn't take her meds...all kinds of crazy!0
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Committed me to a Sanitarium0
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^^nutzzz0
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Had a fear of commitment0
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I didn't have them!0
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The distance was a problem.0
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Had a harem already0
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Thought I was playing around on her...0
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He has a terrible skip-raiding habit which has led to many infestations including flies, bed bugs and fleas. Got tapeworms from the fleas, cholera from the flies and the crabs are probably from him. He also pretended he was a woman for 5 years so he could eat makeup.0
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He's dating some chick named Jo0
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She raised chicks in our apartment0
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She likes @musclegood_fatbad much more!0
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Tried to donate my brain to science, despite my assertion that I was still using it.1
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Couldn't make sacrifices for the common good0
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Oh you were???0
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She wouldn't stop calling me "Professor Queerman"0
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