We broke up because...
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She couldn't pronounce quesadilla much less cook one!0
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Her cooking was
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wouldn't grill me a proper steak0
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Was a meat snob0
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thought well-done steaks were acceptable0
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He wanted sausage ..
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Shes a vegan0
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he ate a vegan!0
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His name is A. Vegan0
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dietary restriction...would not let me eat.0
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He said he wanted to be fast
I misunderstood!1 -
.0
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She kept letting other people play with her beautiful red hair...0
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I woke up once staring up at a pair of scissors!
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She wouldn't let me touch that luscious hair0
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He kept flexing for other girls0
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He always had sticky fingers and they'd get stuck in my hair!0
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^That is exactly why I had scissors!
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Was always insisting that I'd look better in a mullet!1
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she was to much business in the front, party in the back!0
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He snored so loudly I never got any sleep0
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tried to cover my head with the pillow0
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Hey he was a screamer, Didn't want the neighbours to wake up.0
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cared too much about what other people thought0
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Was thoughtless0
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Wouldn't share her bike
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She only had one speed0
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He was always high on Speed0
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Not to mention record breaking speedy sexy time
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Too judgey about my sex techniques0
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