People who don't get it but think they do.
Replies
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Sometimes people will comment and lend advice because they don't know what else to say when it's brought up (same with most things). People tend to think that others are always looking for advice when they really just want to talk about whatever it is. I find it helpful to tell people that I am not looking for advice but just someone to listen to what I am experiencing or what I am going through and usually that takes the burden off them to try and find a way to "fix" it or "help" with the situation.1
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AllOutof_Bubblegum wrote: »SomeShenanigans wrote: »I mean did you guys even read the examples of what happens...? I'm talking about people noticing me doing certain things and always having something to say about it. I never said I was shaming them for not knowing the stuff-- but I do wish they would realize they don't know what they're talking about and let me do what I'm doing without needing to give their condescending two cents.
If you are eating under 1,200 cals (and by your own admission at times as low as 700), I would venture to guess that you don't know what you're doing, either.
This happened one day when I was busy with a personal business and forgot about food, it was an off-handed example of something annoying someone said. Stop getting so hung up on it.2 -
Acacia_Evers wrote: »lyndseybellz wrote: »Off topic but DAYUM those arms!
preshate it mane0 -
AllOutof_Bubblegum wrote: »SomeShenanigans wrote: »I mean did you guys even read the examples of what happens...? I'm talking about people noticing me doing certain things and always having something to say about it. I never said I was shaming them for not knowing the stuff-- but I do wish they would realize they don't know what they're talking about and let me do what I'm doing without needing to give their condescending two cents.
If you are eating under 1,200 cals (and by your own admission at times as low as 700), I would venture to guess that you don't know what you're doing, either.
Good point.. I saw the 700 calories and missed the "continue eating less" part.. I interpreted it that "they" just thought OP was eating that much out of assumption..0 -
lyndseybellz wrote: »SomeShenanigans wrote: »You guys are hilariously antagonistic about this, sore spot much? But thanks.
i lost a lot of weight...so i didnt have to tell anyone i was "dieting."
i get what youre saying. people CAN BE annoying in real life...and on here as well.
i drank a smoothie in front of someone the other day (with OJ, spinach, strawberries, greek yogurt, and protein powder) like as a snack and they very condescendingly asked if i eat solid food anymore.
and i can totally identify with you when people give their opinion or make snarky remarks like, "that isn't on your diet, is it?"
Oh JESUS I remember when I first started making smoothies. I put greek yogurt in it and the individual who this post is largely about had to remind me that yogurt has fat in it, after checking the container to see if it said "fat free."0 -
Ask them to run with you tomorrow to help you keep going longer!4
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Since you say these are people you live with, are we talking parents and/or siblings that are making these comments? If so, I'm sure they are genuinely concerned for your health but you ARE an adult and IF you are losing weight in a healthy manner then you need to be firm, consistent, and stand your ground.
If you are under-eating then they are probably worried, and rightly so. Sounds like from the comments they make they don't know a whole lot about nutrition and food content but if you all live together (and will be doing so for a while) I suggest you speak to them about what does and what doesn't help you. It's all about communication.1 -
I used to try to explain my actions to people who didn't understand, but it never accomplished anything other than frustration. Now I just say "Different things work for different people- this works for me" or straight-up, "eh, it's not something I really like talking about," depending on who's making the comment. Then I tell myself- let the results speak for themselves. It helps keep me on track too because I want to be able to show that hey- what I'm doing works, no starvation or 5-hour gym-a-thons necessary!
Even if I do want to respond to a lame comment (maybe because it was made by a good friend with good intentions)- I won't let it get to me. One friend once told me I should avoid bananas because they're "the worst fruit." I just laughed and said "Yeah but I didn't get fat because of a banana addiction!" We both laughed and that was the end of that. I've found that explaining and justifying invites debate and more questions next time.1 -
SomeShenanigans wrote: »lyndseybellz wrote: »SomeShenanigans wrote: »You guys are hilariously antagonistic about this, sore spot much? But thanks.
i lost a lot of weight...so i didnt have to tell anyone i was "dieting."
i get what youre saying. people CAN BE annoying in real life...and on here as well.
i drank a smoothie in front of someone the other day (with OJ, spinach, strawberries, greek yogurt, and protein powder) like as a snack and they very condescendingly asked if i eat solid food anymore.
and i can totally identify with you when people give their opinion or make snarky remarks like, "that isn't on your diet, is it?"
Oh JESUS I remember when I first started making smoothies. I put greek yogurt in it and the individual who this post is largely about had to remind me that yogurt has fat in it, after checking the container to see if it said "fat free."
OP are you talking about yourself in this thread or someone else?0 -
My MIL is like this, always has to comment. She also simpers which is more annoying. I ignore her for the most part. When she's gotten on my last nerve, I yell at her "NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK" which doesn't shut her up, but I do feel better for having yelled.0
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My MIL is like this, always has to comment. She also simpers which is more annoying. I ignore her for the most part. When she's gotten on my last nerve, I yell at her "NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK" which doesn't shut her up, but I do feel better for having yelled.
That's the way to go! And that's what I always /fee/ liking doing. Sometimes I wanna but I'm tiny and quiet and I've always been kind of soft-spoken and conflict-avoidy.0 -
This thread sort of went south when I saw that OP (who may not be OP) was eating 700 calories less (and not described as just a one day thing) and then explained this post was about another individual.
So naturally the content in this thread from the person that wrote the OP are suspect at best.0 -
This thread sort of went south when I saw that OP (who may not be OP) was eating 700 calories less (and not described as just a one day thing) and then explained this post was about another individual.
So naturally the content in this thread from the person that wrote the OP are suspect at best.
...I'm not sure where you're getting this but this isn't what is happening at all please read with your eyeballs or something? I've literally said multiple times that the 700 calories was a one day thing. What are you reading?1 -
Some people are going to "comment" -- however you're interpreting it, they might actually be "criticizing" you as you think they are, or they might just be trying to engage you in conversation on a topic they assume will be interesting to you.
In either case, it's entirely up to you whether to argue with them about it, or just smile and change the subject. Feeling victimized by other people expressing ideas you disagree with is entirely on you.2 -
SomeShenanigans wrote: »AllOutof_Bubblegum wrote: »SomeShenanigans wrote: »I mean did you guys even read the examples of what happens...? I'm talking about people noticing me doing certain things and always having something to say about it. I never said I was shaming them for not knowing the stuff-- but I do wish they would realize they don't know what they're talking about and let me do what I'm doing without needing to give their condescending two cents.
If you are eating under 1,200 cals (and by your own admission at times as low as 700), I would venture to guess that you don't know what you're doing, either.
This happened one day when I was busy with a personal business and forgot about food, it was an off-handed example of something annoying someone said. Stop getting so hung up on it.
Why would you tell people you'd only eaten 700 calories for them to comment though?2 -
SomeShenanigans wrote: »lyndseybellz wrote: »SomeShenanigans wrote: »You guys are hilariously antagonistic about this, sore spot much? But thanks.
i lost a lot of weight...so i didnt have to tell anyone i was "dieting."
i get what youre saying. people CAN BE annoying in real life...and on here as well.
i drank a smoothie in front of someone the other day (with OJ, spinach, strawberries, greek yogurt, and protein powder) like as a snack and they very condescendingly asked if i eat solid food anymore.
and i can totally identify with you when people give their opinion or make snarky remarks like, "that isn't on your diet, is it?"
Oh JESUS I remember when I first started making smoothies. I put greek yogurt in it and the individual who this post is largely about had to remind me that yogurt has fat in it, after checking the container to see if it said "fat free."
OP are you talking about yourself in this thread or someone else?
She's talking about the person in her life that makes the most annoying comments to her. Or so I think. Guess I should let the OP respond.0 -
Roxie, have many times have you been told?
Stop reading with your nose.2 -
TavistockToad wrote: »SomeShenanigans wrote: »AllOutof_Bubblegum wrote: »SomeShenanigans wrote: »I mean did you guys even read the examples of what happens...? I'm talking about people noticing me doing certain things and always having something to say about it. I never said I was shaming them for not knowing the stuff-- but I do wish they would realize they don't know what they're talking about and let me do what I'm doing without needing to give their condescending two cents.
If you are eating under 1,200 cals (and by your own admission at times as low as 700), I would venture to guess that you don't know what you're doing, either.
This happened one day when I was busy with a personal business and forgot about food, it was an off-handed example of something annoying someone said. Stop getting so hung up on it.
Why would you tell people you'd only eaten 700 calories for them to comment though?
Because it was a friend and I mentioned how refreshing it was to eat a good breakfast mentioning that I barely ate anything the day before and this person has been looking over my shoulder multiple times in the past while I'm logging calories so they literally asked how many I ate that day and I said 700 and they started telling me how great that was.
Sorry I don't understand this weird obsessive don't ask/don't tell crap you guys follow religiously when it comes to switching up your diet.1 -
Because if you tell, then you get asked.
If you ask, then you get told.
All which are things you're complaining about.2 -
SomeShenanigans wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »SomeShenanigans wrote: »AllOutof_Bubblegum wrote: »SomeShenanigans wrote: »I mean did you guys even read the examples of what happens...? I'm talking about people noticing me doing certain things and always having something to say about it. I never said I was shaming them for not knowing the stuff-- but I do wish they would realize they don't know what they're talking about and let me do what I'm doing without needing to give their condescending two cents.
If you are eating under 1,200 cals (and by your own admission at times as low as 700), I would venture to guess that you don't know what you're doing, either.
This happened one day when I was busy with a personal business and forgot about food, it was an off-handed example of something annoying someone said. Stop getting so hung up on it.
Why would you tell people you'd only eaten 700 calories for them to comment though?
Because it was a friend and I mentioned how refreshing it was to eat a good breakfast mentioning that I barely ate anything the day before and this person has been looking over my shoulder multiple times in the past while I'm logging calories so they literally asked how many I ate that day and I said 700 and they started telling me how great that was.
Sorry I don't understand this weird obsessive don't ask/don't tell crap you guys follow religiously when it comes to switching up your diet.
And yet you wonder why people are giving their opinions. Does not compute.2 -
I used to have those people in my life, maybe I still do, but I would guess they have just given up saying anything to my face. I have learned to just tune them out. I smile, I tell them I have done my research and am comfortable doing what I am doing and it is working for me and I change the subject. If they want to have a serious conversation about what I am doing I will tell them, but I am very comfortable in my own skin with what I am doing.
I have failed often enough to know what doesn't work. I have been losing weight for over a year. Not at a rapid pace, but I have been losing and I will continue to lose because I have a plan to keep changing my lifestyle to a healthier one small piece by small piece and they are all permanent changes.0 -
SomeShenanigans wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »SomeShenanigans wrote: »AllOutof_Bubblegum wrote: »SomeShenanigans wrote: »I mean did you guys even read the examples of what happens...? I'm talking about people noticing me doing certain things and always having something to say about it. I never said I was shaming them for not knowing the stuff-- but I do wish they would realize they don't know what they're talking about and let me do what I'm doing without needing to give their condescending two cents.
If you are eating under 1,200 cals (and by your own admission at times as low as 700), I would venture to guess that you don't know what you're doing, either.
This happened one day when I was busy with a personal business and forgot about food, it was an off-handed example of something annoying someone said. Stop getting so hung up on it.
Why would you tell people you'd only eaten 700 calories for them to comment though?
Because it was a friend and I mentioned how refreshing it was to eat a good breakfast mentioning that I barely ate anything the day before and this person has been looking over my shoulder multiple times in the past while I'm logging calories so they literally asked how many I ate that day and I said 700 and they started telling me how great that was.
Sorry I don't understand this weird obsessive don't ask/don't tell crap you guys follow religiously when it comes to switching up your diet.
Well for me none of my friends or work colleagues give a flying fig how much I eat, so they don't ask and I don't tell...
Plus if I got annoyed by people commenting on what I eat (as you seem to do) I would stop telling them....1 -
Acacia_Evers wrote: »Because if you tell, then you get asked.
If you ask, then you get told.
All which are things you're complaining about.
Right. Good. You read a single sentence out of an entire thread, I'm happy for you.0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »SomeShenanigans wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »SomeShenanigans wrote: »AllOutof_Bubblegum wrote: »SomeShenanigans wrote: »I mean did you guys even read the examples of what happens...? I'm talking about people noticing me doing certain things and always having something to say about it. I never said I was shaming them for not knowing the stuff-- but I do wish they would realize they don't know what they're talking about and let me do what I'm doing without needing to give their condescending two cents.
If you are eating under 1,200 cals (and by your own admission at times as low as 700), I would venture to guess that you don't know what you're doing, either.
This happened one day when I was busy with a personal business and forgot about food, it was an off-handed example of something annoying someone said. Stop getting so hung up on it.
Why would you tell people you'd only eaten 700 calories for them to comment though?
Because it was a friend and I mentioned how refreshing it was to eat a good breakfast mentioning that I barely ate anything the day before and this person has been looking over my shoulder multiple times in the past while I'm logging calories so they literally asked how many I ate that day and I said 700 and they started telling me how great that was.
Sorry I don't understand this weird obsessive don't ask/don't tell crap you guys follow religiously when it comes to switching up your diet.
Well for me none of my friends or work colleagues give a flying fig how much I eat, so they don't ask and I don't tell...
Plus if I got annoyed by people commenting on what I eat (as you seem to do) I would stop telling them....
So much this.0 -
SomeShenanigans wrote: »Sometimes I wanna but I'm tiny and quiet and I've always been kind of soft-spoken and conflict-avoidy.Until people don't agree with them or tell them what they want to hear.
It's been a ride of insults from the beginning.
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SomeShenanigans wrote: »Asking for advice or just generally discussing your weight loss regimen with friends and families only to have them say things like "maybe you should do more though?" when you know what you're doing is already considerably not the healthiest weight-loss method.[ /quote]
Not bothered by people.
If I don't want to discuss something then I don't bring it up or ask advice on it. If someone is annoying me I change the subject, tell them to drop it or leave. This applies to all kinds of things from food to parenting. I do not have to defend or explain any of my choices to people who just want to argue or criticize.
However, if you know what you are doing isn't healthy then stop it. If you want to lose weight in a healthy way MFP is a great tool to use. People here can give you great advice on losing weight in a healthy way.1 -
Literally everyone here is getting super hung up on whether I off-handedly mention that I'm paying attention to my food in-take and exercise regimen to the people around me like it's some kind of crime because you all got on a high horse in the beginning and you're too proud of yourselves to get down. Chill.0
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SomeShenanigans wrote: »Literally everyone here is getting super hung up on whether I off-handedly mention that I'm paying attention to my food in-take and exercise regimen to the people around me like it's some kind of crime because you all got on a high horse in the beginning and you're too proud of yourselves to get down. Chill.
So much irony.5 -
I got this a lot when I was losing weight. I didn't talk about my goals, weight loss, etc. But I lost close to 80 pounds, so people noticed. And I often got lots of comments on what I ate, didn't eat, my weight (what they thought my goal should be! ) Most people really have no clue what a healthy diet is, how many calories are in the foods they eat, nor what a healthy body weight looks like. More often any comments others make, is really just about themselves, and what they need to tell themselves to feel better. Very little actually has to do with you.3
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SomeShenanigans wrote: »Literally everyone here is getting super hung up on whether I off-handedly mention that I'm paying attention to my food in-take and exercise regimen to the people around me like it's some kind of crime because you all got on a high horse in the beginning and you're too proud of yourselves to get down. Chill.
You made a thread because you don't like people commenting on you 'paying attention to your food in take' and yet you're bashing everyonr for suggesting you DON'T give people something to comment on....
:huh: :noway:
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