I have an (almost) obese brother & need advice!
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I'm not going to read 5 pages of comments, so forgive me if this is repeated information.
The pediatrician at the doctors office I work at tells overweight kids (the older ones, I've seen her say it to 8 and up) to do just ONE THING better. Next time your brother comes to you with issues, ask him what is one thing that he can change. Does he drink a 2 liter of soda every day? Can he change to diet? Only drink soda when on special occasions? Could he work in 30 minutes of activity a day? Just a walk after dinner.
One thing. Then, she says after its a habit, and you don't have to think about it any more, pick one other thing. Did you add a walk? Ok, this time pick one food thing to do better. Did you pick a food thing? Ok, pick an activity. Add that until it's a habit.
She says with kids, the key is to make it not the end of the world. Make it easy, make it achievable.
In my house - I have children ranging from unborn to 14 years old - we focus on strong. What can you do every day to make you strong? My 11 year old drinks water like crazy, loves to run, loves her veggies. They make her strong. And we all want to be strong.14 -
He's the biggest kid in his grade. He's not just chubby, 140 pounds is almost obese. He's around 40/50 pounds overweight. He's going to get taller during puberty but a lot of kids tend to gain weight during puberty too, I know I did. I'd rather not just leave it up to chanceKetoneKaren wrote: »I know you are trying to help your brother. Someone else may have mentioned it here, but it is extremely common for boys to be chubby just before they go through puberty (and grow tall before your very eyes). I am not saying his eating and exercise habits are great, but puberty may drastically change things...0 -
Yes, I understand. I guess what I should have said is that now, before puberty, is a great time for him to make positive changes, with the pediatrician's guidance, before that growth spurt happens. He has to buy in to it, though, and with your mom not fully on board it will be difficult for him and frustrating for you...I am sorry you have this situation.1
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Everyone is saying not to force my brother to eat what he doesn't want to eat (which I don't), and it's the same with exercise. We try to get him to move more but he doesn't want to. He isn't a big sports person at all and I (or my parents) could limit his Xbox time but he's obsessed. He cries when his connection stops working and if it's not Xbox then he's in bed watching YouTube videos on his iPad. It's really hard to get him to move when he can't pull away from his Xbox from 8am-9pm.Honestly, if he is sneaking food you just have to back off. I snuck food for years because my mom was always trying to make me diet. I know is hard to sit there and see the damage but if they can't buy overall better and healthier options (ie, not buying those crackers at all, having healthier options as a whole family) then he won't be successful. Maybe you should instead focus on helping him have active fun with you and bond with him. Getting him interested in sport would probably be the most beneficial. I mean it sounds like he isn't eating all day long, so he doesn't eat waaaay too much. Bringing his activity up might be the solution.
Let him know all physical activities are a bit hard to begin with but that movement is important. Perhaps have him earn Xbox time after 1 hour of soccer or swim or what have you. Make it fun and make it a bro sis thing he will enjoy.
Had I been encouraged to play sports or go ride my bike I think I would have been less overweight as a young teen, when I did want to play I was told the family didn't have enough money... ya know? so instead of focusing on the food which you can't control forever- build a love of a sport with him. It make take a few tries, but be open minded and try anything. I know it sounds weird but I have really enjoyed running around in empty skate parks with the kids I nanny for. Trying to climb up the walls, running over small ramps, etc turns out to be a great sweat producer and so much fun. Try basketball, soccer, more swimming, Frisbee, hikes to cool spots, whatever you guys can think of. An hour a day of moving around will surely benefit him in the long run.
Then honestly, what do you expect from us as far as advice goes?
I was the same, no one bothered trying to encourage me or pay for the sports I wanted to play with my friends and I was fat my whole teen years. it sucked, but looking back its just what happened. I ate the foods my parents ate. So does your brother. Maybe he likes the food, but bottom line is he is old enough to circumvent your efforts.
Please feel free to keep offering him the healthy stuff but your reach will end the moment you leave unless you find a way to get him up and moving. Maybe it means getting the Xbox and iPad taken away until he does some activity. If parents aren't willing to do that then YOU have done all you can. It's 11 years of parenting mistakes. I'm a nanny and I have taken care of a 9yo boy, if left to his own devices (literally) that's all he would do- I did have to take things away to encourage him to get more involved in the home and be active. Yeah he cried but it was my job to take good care of him, not to let him sit around all day. That's not your job or what I'm saying, but you do see that this is beyond your reach, right?4 -
I read page 1 then jumped. So if I am repeating anything, sorry in advance.
I think the MOM needs to go to the dietitian. She is the person who is ill-informed, isn't enforcing better choices, and keeps "forgetting" the nutrition rules. If she shops, cooks, and eats better the son will naturally follow.
Sister, you might help by prominently displaying healthy snack choices like carrot sticks, etc., between meals, and by inviting him (and perhaps one friend) out to activities to get him away from the X-box once in a while.4 -
I think it's great that you're trying to help your brother, and that you've been put in a crap situation. He are my thoughts:
1. Your parents need to be more involved, as many have said. They can't put expectations like this on you and expect you to bear the brunt of this situation. Maybe help your mom create meal plans and shopping lists. Help your dad create a plan to limit Xbox time and set expectations for movement. They need to be the disciplinarians, but you can help them with the tools.
2. Find a way to get him interested in some kind of movement... Anything. Soccer, swimming, playing that new Pokemon Go or whatever it is where you walk around and find Pokemon. Does he have a Kinect for his Xbox? Is there some kind of workout game that can be a compromise?
3. Definitely encourage your parents to take him to the doctor. Your heart is in the right place, but you're not a medical professional and your parents can't expect it of you! It's not fair, you're practically still a child yourself!
Good luck with all of this, but don't push your brother too far, it's a slippery slope as a sibling in a parental role!1 -
Here's a fresh idea no one has mentioned yet. Bribery. eg. Cash (or other item of value) for physical activity points.
What the kid is lacking is physical activity. You've got to sink to his level. Telling him to get off his xbox isn't going to work. If he currently doesn't like to be active, paying him in something he finds valuable eg cash, or even new video games, might be motivating enough. So for now while you're still at home, get him an activity tracker of some sort and find a way to measure points for cash. It could be steps/day or calories burned, I don't know.
If this were to work, he'd go outside and run around, play, do whatever he likes to "earn" the cash and then go back to playing video games. It's win-win. And when you go back to school, he simply shows you his activity points for the week (assuming there's a way for you to verify) and he gets his money.
After he loses weight (or doesn't gain any more), he might have developed enjoyment for being active and it will stick. Hopefully, the ends will justify the means.6 -
I confess I barely read anything, but what I wish would have been done for me as an obese kid is this: The whole family (doesn't matter what they weigh, mine were all normal BMI) from an early age keeping whole-type foods around (I realize that's open to interpretation, but there is a general meaning) and EVERYONE eating those foods with treats remaining treats and not kept in quantity. I also would want the whole family to stay active in fun ways. For a kid, that means playing with them in an active way or family walks and active hobbies. The whole family and the whole process would not be focused on the child's weight or calories. The lifestyle would be normalized and as natural as breathing. As for education, again, normal and natural - positive talk about berries while preparing a fruit salad together. Just casual conversation while cooking together.3
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First things first, I know that nobody on here is going to give dieting advice for a 11 year old kid. I'm not looking for dieting advice, but just help with what I can do to get through to my family.
This is long, but here's just some background:
My brother is 11 years old, 4'10 and 140 pounds. His BMI right now is 29.2 (so at the very top of the overweight category) and only 5 pounds away from obesity. Since I've been losing weight, my entire family has been putting it on me to get him to lose weight. I don't want to put a little kid on a low calorie diet exactly, so I've just been giving him meals such as...
Breakfast: Apple, egg whites (he doesn't like the yolk)
Snack: 100 cal pack of popcorn
Lunch: Grilled chicken breast 5oz, vegetables, and a serving of whole wheat pasta
Snack: Banana/granola bar
Dinner: Salmon, brown rice and vegetables
And maybe another "healthy" snack.
I don't count calories for him, but that should be around 1500-1600 if I had to guess. He's never hungry when I feed him meals like this, and sometimes doesn't even finish his meals. This should be a good amount for him to lose a little weight or at least not gain any as he's getting older.
My mom is in the obese category and doesn't know a single thing about nutrition or losing weight (she thinks diet pills work, and that undercooked pasta has zero calories). I told her what to feed him and she stuck with it for a couple days. I'm trying to get him to eat mostly nutritious food because since he's really young I think it would benefit him to get used to eating food like this.
So far, it's only been a week. I've noticed wrappers for crackers laying around (2, so 500 calories) but he says he only ate one from the pack. He always lies or underestimates how much he eats (which is how got so big in the first place) so I don't think that's true. My mom allows him to eat it because I guess she doesn't realize a couple things here and there add up QUICKLY. Today, she gave him a microwaveable corndog for breakfast. It's only been a week but I can already see the entire plan that we had slowly falling apart and this is the 5th time at least that my mom was on board with him eating less/healthier but then gets too lazy and just gives him other things. How can she be too lazy when her child is almost obese and already at risk for health problems.
I'm only home for the summer, so when I'm not around to talk to my mom about it every single day (since once isn't enough. she constantly needs to be reminded) I know he's gonna go back to his old habits.
My mom wanted to take him to a nutritionist but my brother is extremely picky with food (doesn't like any sauces, doesn't like yolks, doesn't like cheese or sandwiches or burgers or anything except the most plain food. He got fat off of McDonald's McNuggets, multiple bowls of pasta with butter, fried chicken, French fries and constant snacking on chips/chocolate). Also, most days he just sits on Xbox all day long and doesn't move much. The only exercise he does is going on a 15 minute bike ride maybe twice a week (only on his bike downhill and slowly carrying it up when going uphill) and swimming practice for an hour on Saturday. Not even every Saturday either. My mom said that when her friend took her child to the nutritionist/dietician, they gave her a meal plan consisting of things like mushroom soup which my brother wouldn't put in his mouth in a million years. I don't want him to be miserable while eating healthy.
So basically, I'm just not sure what to do. Sorry this is so long.
I don't think there's anything you CAN do, except be a loving and supporting sister no matter what his weight is. Being obese is hard. Being obese and feeling like your family doesn't truly accept you is much worse. Particularly for someone so young, the psychological effects of obesity are far more serious than the physical ones.5 -
I read page 1 then jumped. So if I am repeating anything, sorry in advance.
I think the MOM needs to go to the dietitian. She is the person who is ill-informed, isn't enforcing better choices, and keeps "forgetting" the nutrition rules. If she shops, cooks, and eats better the son will naturally follow.
Sister, you might help by prominently displaying healthy snack choices like carrot sticks, etc., between meals, and by inviting him (and perhaps one friend) out to activities to get him away from the X-box once in a while.
This is good advice. I saw a study with school children that showed if fruits and veggies are prominently displayed that the kids would eat them. But they wouldn't usually go out of their way to ask for them. If sis or mom cuts up apples, puts carrots on the plate with the lunch etc then brother will likely start nibbling on them. I used to limit my boys' drinks to predominantly water, and occasional milk or juice. When they wanted soda I allowed one a day. Also I limited television and encouraged them to bike ride and play outside. They had a tree house, swam in the pool, and spent a lot of time running around in the yard playing with neighborhood friends.0 -
You are an amazing sister. You are not the typical self focused young lady who is worried about the next tat or hair color. You have come here because you know you need guidance. I've read all the advice. I'm saddened by the critical tone some project. Lots of people are reacting perhaps from their own frustrations????
Staying focused on your goal, helping your 11 year old brother who knows you care about him and his health. Keep the open dialogue, invite him to join you in the kitchen preparing his meals. When you are gone he will need to be able to make meals for himself.
No pressure, but example portion control, wise selections etc. yes encourage some movement. Will he enjoy anything with you?? Wish you could come enjoy my pool.
I understand your dilemma with parents who are locked in their own pain ( obesity and I bet depression) They know you care and will help him. Ultimately you are not his parent, but a loving, supportive sister can do a lot of good. You are an amazing young person. I hope you know that your love and encouragement is a priceless gift, but you can't make up for absent parents.3 -
I feel for your situation, being someone who was morbidly obese as a child. My parents exercised no control over what I ate and made me responsible for trying to count my own calories at a young age (I remember trying to calorie count my own food at 8 or 9). My meals were bad, having no veggies and way too much cheese, cream, and butter, but the snacking was worse. If I had done away with the between meal ice creams and cookies, maybe I would not have ever reached 500 lb.
I think the main thing he needs is to snack healthily so that he is not over-hungry at meals and not taking in tons of excess calories throughout the day. For example, My neighbors would always tell their kids to have fruit or carrots if they were hungry between meals. They didn't always like it, but they knew to expect it. A cookie or some crackers as an after dinner snack will keep him from feeling deprived of his sweets. Just getting him used to simple snack guidelines will probably make a huge difference. Especially if you can get him off of soda and sugary beverages. Maybe make him juice from concentrate but up the water when you mix it up so its less sweet and less calorie dense. Have him drink a glass of milk with his meals (which is healthy and filling) and have him drink water when possible.
Those would be simple guidelines that even your parents could understand (no offense, of course, my parents were the same way). They could have a standard list of fruit and veggies and beverages to always buy and then he could choose something he likes as his after dinner snack for the week.
I would say that chances are good that it is not too late to instill healthy habits in him before you leave, especially if you lead by example.1 -
I'm another who has not read the entire thread. Apologies if I repeat.
You're in a hard spot. Kudos to you for trying to help.
It sounds like it will be tough for him to lose the weight until the foods available to him are changed. Either the quantity or the type (quality). To change the foods it is largely the responsibiliy of your parents. Getting rid of the extra crackers, bread or whatever foods he tends to overeat (junk food especially) may go some way towards helping. If it isn't in the house, it will be harder for him to eat it.
Would your parents get on board with that? Would they keep his problem foods out of the house even if it is a favorite of theirs? They can always eat it while out of the house...
I'm a celiac and my kids must be gluten free too. We keep the house gluten free just to simplify things. My husband eats gluten food when away from home. It's unfair to ask young kids to watch a parent eating a food they like but can't or shouldn't have. Your parents would really be helping him if they set up the pantry for his success rather than failure.
And then there are some foods that I don't want my kids eating mch of so I limit it. GF bread is not an overly healthy item. I limit them to one or two slices per day. If I gave them free reign they would eat a loaf a day. My 11 year old does not need 3 grilled cheese sandwiches in a day. I'd rather they ate other, healthier things. Nuts, yogurt and fruits are added instead.
And if it isn't their favorite thing and they don't eat much, that's fine. They don't need their favorites everyday.
Best wishes to you. Good luck!0 -
I think it's great how you want to help your brother! I was shocked reading comments by people telling you to mind your own business and let the parents parent. He is your brother and you are an awesome sister for looking out for him! However I do agree that the meal plan you gave him does seem a little strict for a kid. Maybe you could make homemade cookies with oats, honey, and sugar-free chocolate chips and pack a couple for him for lunch?:) since he is borderline obese, it might be especially hard for him to eat 99% healthy throughout the day right now. I will keep your brother in my thoughts and prayers!
Edit: forgot it's summer and that kids aren't in school. *make him cookies for lunch I should have said
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I read page 1 and 5 and was disappointed at the amount of negativity at the beginning. It seems to me your parents want you to help, and your brother likes you. This could be a recipe for success, except you say you'll be away from home sometime in the near future.1
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My friend's son is a picky eater. She made a deal with him that he had to try ten new foods -- one new food a day for ten days -- then he could get a reward.
Try one new fruit or vegetable a day. Then you are adding something nutritious, instead of taking away the food he likes. The goal is to evolve his taste in food. Eventually, he'll eat mainly healthy food and occasionally some treats, instead of the other way around.3 -
It sounds like you're fighting a losing battle if your mother doesn't understand nutritional basics.
I think you're doing an amazing job and deserve much praise but the problem starts with your mother.
She needs to be educated so that she understands what to feed her family.
You said she is overweight herself. Is there any weight watcher programme she could join? Or is there a class she could take to help with understanding nutrition for her family? You could sell it as a way of helping your brother lose weight, rather than as a criticism of her. It might be good for your brother to get some cooking/nutrition classes too. Is there a summer school he could attend?
I wish there were more I could suggest.
Best of luck to you. Your family is lucky to have such a caring, responsible, intelligent person in their midst.0 -
I have one question for everyone. A lot of parents choose to feed their children mostly healthy food, or don't let them have fast food more than once a year and they're called amazing parents. I want my brother to eat MOSTLY healthy food (as much as he needs to feel full) and not eat fast food unless it's necessary and apparently that's wrong? I'm sure he likes the fried food more but what's so wrong with swapping that with healthier options? He is a CHILD after all. Children don't know better and people who supervise them are supposed to make sure they are given what's good for them. I don't think I should give him anything and everything he wants just because he wants it. Now that's not to say that he can't have a serving of chips or a serving of this and that, but I just don't understand what's so bad about not giving a kid McDonald's twice a week just because he wants it. As adults, I'm sure all of you would love to have fast food for every meal but sometimes it's just not the better option. A child can't make those decisions for himself.
Part of the issue is that an 11 year old is smart enough to know the difference between eating what they always have (be that healthy foods or junk food 24/7) and having the type and amount of food they're eating radically changed suddenly because their family thinks they're fat.
It's really not that the food you're feeding your brother is bad for him- far from it, although that sounds like a pretty dull menu to me personally, it's certainly nutritious, and great if he likes it (although I agree with the other posters who say that if he's sneaking food around meals and not finishing them, he may not actually like it as much as he tells you, the sister he loves and wants to please). It's that the entire scenario- his insecurity about being the fattest one in the row at graduation, his obese mother who says she wants him to lose weight but feeds him high-calorie junk food, his mom pushing nutritional responsibilities off on to his sister, his sister losing weight (and possibly getting praise for it from family/friends?), his sister changing his diet as part of a plan to make him lose weight, snacks that he's already feeling compelled to lie and hide about... this is all SUPER emotionally charged stuff that is tough for adults to handle, let alone 11 year olds.
Toss in the other elements you've mentioned, including it sounds like a dad who might be a challenge of his own? You're both in a rough spot on a lot of levels. But you get to leave and go back to college, and you're becoming an adult with your own autonomy. He isn't even close to that yet. He's got a lot going on, and his body is changing in ways out of his control. Explicit messages about obesity and dieting right now are almost definitely doing more harm than good. He's not actually sticking to this meal plan even in the first week, with the sister he wants to please in the home to help- do you think it's likely that he will do better when you leave? Yet the messages he's learning- that eating healthy is complicated and different than eating that you enjoy, that eating food you don't prefer is necessary to make the people who love you happy, that lying about food and eating in secret is a viable strategy, that his family isn't satisfied with his body- these lessons are *sticky*. They *really last* and can cause enormous damage, often even after someone has grown up in to a healthy weight (check out these boards and you'll see so many people share their similar childhood stories).
The absolute best thing you can do for your brother right now is *not* make meal-by-meal plans (that aren't working anyway) for him, but model some simple behaviors that have some hope of taking root alongside the dysfunctional lessons he's already internalized.
Teach him to cook some meals, and teach him how to read the nutrition information (not in a "and we need to do this to see if we're allowed to eat this" way- it's okay if the meal is something high in calories- the important thing here is that he'll learn cooking skills and basic nutritional literacy, something your parents are not teaching him, and things which are associated with healthy eating in adulthood). Don't make this about "healthy eating", just make this about spending time together and learning some basic kitchen skills.
Take him outside. Go for walks, take him to a park. Even if they're just short walks around the neighborhood every day, teach him that spending time outdoors with his sister is fun. Let him talk to you about what's going on in his life.
Love him and don't talk about his weight. This can feel counterproductive but it is *so important*. This poor kid is already plenty aware that he's fat. Having one unconditionally loving, reliable family member who isn't constantly giving him mixed signals about his weight might be the lifeline necessary to get him through to adulthood without permanent emotional damage to his relationship with his body and food.
Finally, for yourself: when you get back to school, check out the counseling center, they will almost certainly have free counselors for students to talk to. Your family sounds like they're offloading far more responsibility on your than is reasonable to expect, and the comments about your parents made my heart hurt for you. As a young adult, you deserve better consistency and support from your family than you're getting, and while you can't change them, you can get a safe space to talk about it and some tools for handling the difficult situations your parents have forced on you. You're doing the best you can, and it's admirable that you love your little brother so much and want to help him, but the dynamic your parents have created is not fair to either of you, and it's okay to need help with this stuff.5 -
Really @TuneMeInNow how horribly rude of you to spam on a thread like this.0
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kshama2001 wrote: »
Yes, which is my parents fault. I'm 19, obviously I wasn't old enough his entire life to help him make those smarter decisions. I don't think it's too late now, he's 11. It's something he could get used to.I have one question for everyone. A lot of parents choose to feed their children mostly healthy food, or don't let them have fast food more than once a year and they're called amazing parents. I want my brother to eat MOSTLY healthy food (as much as he needs to feel full) and not eat fast food unless it's necessary and apparently that's wrong? I'm sure he likes the fried food more but what's so wrong with swapping that with healthier options? He is a CHILD after all. Children don't know better and people who supervise them are supposed to make sure they are given what's good for them. I don't think I should give him anything and everything he wants just because he wants it. Now that's not to say that he can't have a serving of chips or a serving of this and that, but I just don't understand what's so bad about not giving a kid McDonald's twice a week just because he wants it. As adults, I'm sure all of you would love to have fast food for every meal but sometimes it's just not the better option. A child can't make those decisions for himself.
Yeah, all that. But the kid's already fat. You can close the barn doors after the horses have run off but...
I admire your optimism but I remember being 11 and living on Campbell's chicken noodle soup, Crackerjack, Fluffernutters, Ragu, spaghetti, Tang, Saltines, Count Chocula and ice cream cones. I wasn't fat and I don't know why. My sister ate the exact same food as me and she was fat. No one and nothing could pry that poison from us. We loved it and we lived for it. Your brother probably feels the same way, despite being overweight, sorry.
You were moving more or eating less than she was.
It's not that simple when it comes to children. Thus why MFP is not appropriate for them - children go through drastic changes from 11-18 nutritionally.0 -
if in the U.S there is always the new app on phones called pokemon go. it will get him up and moving and its based off cartoon/video games. its interactive so that may help with the activity part at least. not sure if at 11 he has a phone with data on it.(not all kids have a cell,although most do)0
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i think for kids you should focus more on getting him active as opposed to automatically getting him on a diet. Play pokemon go with him or something0
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Hey there0
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What about a family movie night with healthy pizza, and watch something like "Supersize Me" on Netflix together, then discuss it.
Or there are active games such as Ingress or the new Pokemon Go that he may really enjoy, which would motivate him to get out and move so that he can advance in the game. Or a zombie chase app? If you can get him outside and have fun doing it, I think it'll help.
I like the idea of posting several ideas for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks on the refrigerator. Having a planned menu makes life so much easier for everyone. Add one pack of crackers as a snack option, and make a note that you can only pick one type of snack each day (three snacks, but must be 3 different things).
I think your mom has to be more involved or it's not going to work when your classes start again.0 -
Most doctors/nutritionists tell parents to make small changes in eating and increase physical activity for kids. For example, focus on eating at home for 6 months, cutting out juice for 6 months, or cutting down the amount of chips eaten a day for 6 months, after that change you make another one. This way kids won't sneak eat because they know they can still have the things that other kids do and the things they like to eat. Also, it seems like your parents need to step up and be parents.1
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I know this is a few days after you posted, but your story really struck me. Reading this was like going back in time eight years and looking at my interaction with my younger half-brother.
He sounds just like yours. He was the pickiest eater - plain corndogs, chicken nuggets, and french fries were the only thing he would tolerate. His mom is a health nut, but she couldn't control him and it irked her to no end. When he kept vomiting up the food she made him eat, she put her foot down and told him he needed to cook his own food. Guess what an 11-year-old can make? Frozen chicken nuggets, frozen corndogs, and frozen french fries. She tried to limit his Wii or Xbox 360 time, but he still managed to play games all day long. He was enrolled in a few extra-curricular activities - boy scouts, band, soccer - but he decided that he just didn't want to do them, and she just let him quit.
Like most kids, he did grow out of his picky eating, but his weight continued to rise even after he hit puberty and he grew to be 6'1". His max weight was 235. The doctor told him that he had pediatric nonalcoholic fatty liver disease, which occurs in overweight children. My stepmom freaked. My brother waved away their concerns and continued to gorge himself on fried food and cakes and candies. And you know what? I love that kid. He's basically my best friend, despite the 10 year age difference. He's sensitive, sweet, smart, and as stubborn as an ox. I was so worried about him losing weight, but nothing his mother or I ever said could convince him to change.
And he finally did lose weight! At the age of 19, after his girlfriend broke his heart, he lost 60 pounds in six months (so unhealthy!) So, I guess my advice is to let a girl break your brother's 11-year-old heart? Nothing I ever did could change it.1 -
Oh, and if he has a smart phone, give him Pokemon Go. That'll solve the movement problem in no time.1
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You're story keeps changing. First he is hiding food, now it is just he under estimates...
I get that you want to come off as this amazing person and likely looking for praise for your efforts. However, you are coming across as a know it all who can do no wrong when it comes to your brother. Sorry for the harsh reality, but you may be doing serious emotional and physical damage to him. You NEED to understand that.
Seriously, stop. Her parents asked for her help. She's providing healthier alternatives for food he already likes. Shes not even restricting calories. She's not acting like a know it all, but trying to help us understand the day to day.
Maybe re-read the whole thread because in no way is she hurting him by cooking meals instead of her parents that happen to be less diabetic inducing. And guess what, he can like her food, and like snacks too. He can be cagey about what he eats, minimizing amounts, and also confide in her how he feels about being overweight. It doesn't make her a liar or a story changer. He probably does a little of everything. He's 11. I know when I have a moment of weakness, I don't want to necessarily proclaim it to the person that's hypothetically trying and working to help me. Doesn't mean she is damaging him. And it certainly doesn't mean he won't confide in her about true statements as well, like liking her food.
This poor girl keeps hearing the same thing over and over about it being non of her business and to get a dietician, and I'm over here like, did you even read the thread?
OP, keep kicking a**. I'm really impressed with how well you've done for yourself despite the lack of education provided to you when you were growing up. Well done!3 -
I have one question for everyone. A lot of parents choose to feed their children mostly healthy food, or don't let them have fast food more than once a year and they're called amazing parents. I want my brother to eat MOSTLY healthy food (as much as he needs to feel full) and not eat fast food unless it's necessary and apparently that's wrong? I'm sure he likes the fried food more but what's so wrong with swapping that with healthier options? He is a CHILD after all. Children don't know better and people who supervise them are supposed to make sure they are given what's good for them. I don't think I should give him anything and everything he wants just because he wants it. Now that's not to say that he can't have a serving of chips or a serving of this and that, but I just don't understand what's so bad about not giving a kid McDonald's twice a week just because he wants it. As adults, I'm sure all of you would love to have fast food for every meal but sometimes it's just not the better option. A child can't make those decisions for himself.
i didn't get fast food very often growing up, so i have been making up for it since i moved out of their house. If i was a parent, i would let my child have fast food but help him/her make the healthiest choices possible.0 -
I would encourage you mother to take him to the dietician - I am sure they can take personal tastes into account (maybe the other kid you heard of loves mushrooms - my 9yr old does and would happily have mushroom soup every day).
Also he may not be as picky as you think - sounds like he has taken to your new foods quite happily, so may be more open to trying others.
Good luck - I really think the key is getting your mother involved too though.0
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