I have an (almost) obese brother & need advice!

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Replies

  • JosetteGetsFit
    JosetteGetsFit Posts: 55 Member
    Your decision to have your family see a nutritionist is the best thing you can do for them. It is unfair that your mom has put this on you. I know how it is keeping up with school and life at your age. You have a heart of gold but don't let your family be your demise. Keep being the best sister & daughter you can and keep your head in the books.
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
    Tell your parents to kick his little butt out of the house and go play. You're only home for the summer. You aren't going to do much. You need to teach your parents. They are the ones buying the food. They are the ones allowing him to stay on his Xbox all day. They are the ones enabling this. Now they want to continue to be lazy with him and look to you to help him? Eff all of that. He needs activity. Get him a bike. Go roller blading. Go play basketball. That will go over better than 100 calorie snack packs.
  • st476
    st476 Posts: 357 Member
    MissTattoo wrote: »
    Tell your parents to kick his little butt out of the house and go play. You're only home for the summer. You aren't going to do much. You need to teach your parents. They are the ones buying the food. They are the ones allowing him to stay on his Xbox all day. They are the ones enabling this. Now they want to continue to be lazy with him and look to you to help him? Eff all of that. He needs activity. Get him a bike. Go roller blading. Go play basketball. That will go over better than 100 calorie snack packs.
    That's what I'm saying, you have no idea how hard I try! I know my mom has a bigger power over him than I do, and I've talked to her so many times and told her that she needs to get him off Xbox and she needs to just stop being so easy with him and letting him do whatever he feels like doing. She agrees with me but then it's like she forgot the conversation ever happened

  • baciodolce18
    baciodolce18 Posts: 113 Member
    st476 wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    You're story keeps changing. First he is hiding food, now it is just he under estimates...

    I get that you want to come off as this amazing person and likely looking for praise for your efforts. However, you are coming across as a know it all who can do no wrong when it comes to your brother. Sorry for the harsh reality, but you may be doing serious emotional and physical damage to him. You NEED to understand that.
    No it's not changing because in my original post I said I'm not sure if he's underestimating or lying. And actually yes, I am looking for some praise. I'm a 19 year old who has a lot on her plate and has to also basically parent a little kid and deal with a drunk of a dad and a mom who is too lazy to do anything for him. Considering I have all this to do, obviously I may be doing things wrong or coming on too strong sometimes. But what you need to understand is that you don't know the entire situation so when I tell you that he likes what he's having, or that he doesn't feel restricted, or whatever else then you just need to believe me, okay? I was looking for some advice on what to say to my mom or what to do when it comes to taking him to the doctor, not criticism on what I'm currently feeding him because I know what he's doing now is much better than what he was doing before and I know he likes what he's eating. I know my brother better than what you think you know from a short description. Thanks for the help :)

    Not sure if you saw my original post further up, but I want to add to counter some other posters' suggestions of you controlling his Xbox time- I think that's a terrible idea as his sister. I really resented my sisters when they tried to *police* my behavior- either food or activity. I know they were an extra kind of awful, but I think that should come from the parents. You should be his friend and role model. And I don't even know what the solution is as far as the technology because parents all over struggle with figuring out how to limit screen time without massive fights and tantrums. I personally struggle myself with my own screen time.
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    edited July 2016
    st476 wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    You're story keeps changing. First he is hiding food, now it is just he under estimates...

    I get that you want to come off as this amazing person and likely looking for praise for your efforts. However, you are coming across as a know it all who can do no wrong when it comes to your brother. Sorry for the harsh reality, but you may be doing serious emotional and physical damage to him. You NEED to understand that.
    No it's not changing because in my original post I said I'm not sure if he's underestimating or lying. And actually yes, I am looking for some praise. I'm a 19 year old who has a lot on her plate and has to also basically parent a little kid and deal with a drunk of a dad and a mom who is too lazy to do anything for him. Considering I have all this to do, obviously I may be doing things wrong or coming on too strong sometimes. But what you need to understand is that you don't know the entire situation so when I tell you that he likes what he's having, or that he doesn't feel restricted, or whatever else then you just need to believe me, okay? I was looking for some advice on what to say to my mom or what to do when it comes to taking him to the doctor, not criticism on what I'm currently feeding him because I know what he's doing now is much better than what he was doing before and I know he likes what he's eating. I know my brother better than what you think you know from a short description. Thanks for the help :)

    What you're trying to do is great. Your care for your brother is coming through very clearly. I understand that you love your brother and you want to help him. What some of us are suggesting is that what you're doing may not be helping him and there may be a better way to be there for him and support him. Even when what we're doing comes from a place of love and good intention, it can still cause issues sometimes.

    If you aren't sure if he is lying about his food or just underestimating, I would honestly assume the "worst," that he does feel guilt about what he's eating and may feel the need to hide it from you (or even from himself). So maybe consider paying attention to his emotional needs right now because if his emotional needs get worse, it will probably compromise his physical health more in the long run. I know you know your brother better than we do, but you don't even know if he's lying to you or not.

    You need to help protect yourself and your brother from the boundary issues that your parents have.
  • st476
    st476 Posts: 357 Member
    janejellyroll wrote: »
    sunfastrose wrote: »
    ryount wrote: »
    Just saying for what it's worth . . . keep feeding him granola bars, pasta, and brown rice, and he will continue to gain weight. "Portion control" is a myth. Weight is controlled by hormones, not directly by calories or portion size. These are old wives' tales that has been proven wrong-headed over the last 15 years.

    Since he is already near "obesity," he has an insulin resistance problem, probably caused by too much refined sugar and too much grain (and especially whole grains, which spike blood sugars more than table sugar.) Calories matter, but do not matter nearly as much as cutting down (or better, out) sugars and grains, since the body reacts differently to fat, carb, and protein calories. Your heart is in the right place, but low calorie meals than contain more than 50 grams of carbs a day will not only cause him to gain weight, but will also make him miserable, grumpy, and low energy (his body will fight your best efforts to let go of weight, and eventually he will gain it all back, plus more, and then his body will "set" his "normal weight" higher.

    *insert big ol' NOOOOOPPPEEE gif here*

    Calories at the end of the day are what control whether you gain or lose.

    Not to mention that expecting an eleven-year-old boy who is a picky eater who apparently enjoys carbohydrates to maintain a diet that is free of sugar and grain is setting him up for failure and even more emotional issues around eating.
    Yeah I know all of that was BS.
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
    st476 wrote: »
    MissTattoo wrote: »
    Tell your parents to kick his little butt out of the house and go play. You're only home for the summer. You aren't going to do much. You need to teach your parents. They are the ones buying the food. They are the ones allowing him to stay on his Xbox all day. They are the ones enabling this. Now they want to continue to be lazy with him and look to you to help him? Eff all of that. He needs activity. Get him a bike. Go roller blading. Go play basketball. That will go over better than 100 calorie snack packs.
    That's what I'm saying, you have no idea how hard I try! I know my mom has a bigger power over him than I do, and I've talked to her so many times and told her that she needs to get him off Xbox and she needs to just stop being so easy with him and letting him do whatever he feels like doing. She agrees with me but then it's like she forgot the conversation ever happened

    That sucks because where is all of your effort going to go at the end of the summer when you leave and your mom is like whatever? If I were you, I'd be so pissed right now. I'm pissed at your parents! I have a 9 year old and she likes to play Minecraft, but guess what? There are rules. I tell her that Xbox/PC time is limited to 2 hours a day and outside time is 4-5. I get huffs and puffs, but you know what? Once the kids in the neighborhood come out to play, she's outside all day. Your parents need to suck it up. Let him whine. Take his Xbox away if he's obsessed. Deal with his tantrums. He needs activity.
  • st476
    st476 Posts: 357 Member
    MissTattoo wrote: »
    st476 wrote: »
    MissTattoo wrote: »
    Tell your parents to kick his little butt out of the house and go play. You're only home for the summer. You aren't going to do much. You need to teach your parents. They are the ones buying the food. They are the ones allowing him to stay on his Xbox all day. They are the ones enabling this. Now they want to continue to be lazy with him and look to you to help him? Eff all of that. He needs activity. Get him a bike. Go roller blading. Go play basketball. That will go over better than 100 calorie snack packs.
    That's what I'm saying, you have no idea how hard I try! I know my mom has a bigger power over him than I do, and I've talked to her so many times and told her that she needs to get him off Xbox and she needs to just stop being so easy with him and letting him do whatever he feels like doing. She agrees with me but then it's like she forgot the conversation ever happened

    That sucks because where is all of your effort going to go at the end of the summer when you leave and your mom is like whatever? If I were you, I'd be so pissed right now. I'm pissed at your parents! I have a 9 year old and she likes to play Minecraft, but guess what? There are rules. I tell her that Xbox/PC time is limited to 2 hours a day and outside time is 4-5. I get huffs and puffs, but you know what? Once the kids in the neighborhood come out to play, she's outside all day. Your parents need to suck it up. Let him whine. Take his Xbox away if he's obsessed. Deal with his tantrums. He needs activity.
    That's exactly how I would handle it but unfortunately I don't have the final day. That's exactly what I told my mom to do, but she's just too much of a softie. I'll talk to her again :smile:
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    ryount wrote: »
    Just saying for what it's worth . . . keep feeding him granola bars, pasta, and brown rice, and he will continue to gain weight. "Portion control" is a myth. Weight is controlled by hormones, not directly by calories or portion size. These are old wives' tales that has been proven wrong-headed over the last 15 years.

    Since he is already near "obesity," he has an insulin resistance problem, probably caused by too much refined sugar and too much grain (and especially whole grains, which spike blood sugars more than table sugar.) Calories matter, but do not matter nearly as much as cutting down (or better, out) sugars and grains, since the body reacts differently to fat, carb, and protein calories. Your heart is in the right place, but low calorie meals than contain more than 50 grams of carbs a day will not only cause him to gain weight, but will also make him miserable, grumpy, and low energy (his body will fight your best efforts to let go of weight, and eventually he will gain it all back, plus more, and then his body will "set" his "normal weight" higher.

    Research experts and recent research findings:
    Dr. Jason Fung, Obesity Code
    Dr. William Davis, Wheat Belly Total Health
    Dr. David Perlmutter, Grain Maker and Grain Brain.

    You can also go to Dr. Davis' Facebook page ~https://www.facebook.com/OfficialWheatBelly/~ to see hundreds of stories about this. No, I am not associated with his organization, except as an obese WB follower for the last 19 months. I've lost 40 lbs and regained my health at 68. You can post a question there about low carb high fat eating for children. Your brother may not like giving up pizza, spaghetti-Os, ice cream, and chips, but it is those very things -- whatever the portion size -- that is making America obese, and have been since the USDA published its Food Pyramid ("6-11 servings of grains per day, low fat") in the late 1970s.

    That aside, your parents have put you in a very difficult position. As I said, your heart is in the right place, and that is to help your brother.

    BAD advice and wrong on so many things. eating too much of anything can cause weight gain. there is also no proof he has an insulin resistance problem. my daughter is overweight, she doesnt eat granola bars,pasta,brown rice and yet she is overweight and has NO insulin resistance as she was seeing and endocrinologist because we thought she had one of these issues and come to find out she does not.as for carbs there is nothing wrong with carbs, carbs fuel the body! he doesnt need to be on a low carb diet(from how you are wording it). if pizza,spaghetti O's and so on make you fat then when I was a kid I should have been obese, and I was far from it.same with my son.

    It definitely is all about portion sizes. too much of any food,even salads could make a person fat. I became fat by eating too much period! to me a child should not be on low carb diets unless its proven they have a health issue and a Dr,pediatrician or dietitian puts that child on a low carb diet. Kids are still growing and need more calories than most adults because their body needs the fuel. its not what you eat its how much and that goes for everyone.fat,carbs and protein are all broken down by the body and used for fuel,low carbs is what will probably make him grumpy and tired, I still eat pizza and rice and so on and guess what? I lost weight. if these foods were bad no one here would have lost weight eating those things.
  • DebSozo
    DebSozo Posts: 2,578 Member
    st476 wrote: »
    janejellyroll wrote: »
    st476 wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    If you are not his parent or guardian, then it really is not your business and you should not be controlling what he eats.

    His parent or guardian should take him to a pediatrician and possible a pediatric dietician. Growing children have specific needs and you could be doing more harm than good.
    It is my business. I'm his sister, and his parents put it on me to control what he eats. My mom knows she has no knowledge about nutrition because the only way she ever lose weight was by going on diets such as drinking only milk on Tuesdays (no food) and only vegetables on Wednesdays. It's completely my business. Or wait, should I just "mind my business" and let my brother get 200, 300, 400 pounds?

    And you're telling me giving him healthy food is doing more harm than letting him eat fried food and chips all day long? I'm not limiting his calories. I let him eat as much food as he needs to feel full. My mom refuses to take him to a health specialist.

    The expectations from your parents, that you parent your brother, aren't appropriate. It's okay for you to set boundaries and reject their inappropriate demands.

    Focus on how to be a good *sister* to your brother, not how to parent him. Just because your parents expect you to take over for them doesn't mean you have to.
    I know I don't have to but I want to. I know I won't help as much as a health specialist but I know I'll help a lot more than my mom will.

    I can sense your concern for your brother. It is great that he has a big sis who cares for him. You can set a good example and teach him while you are there, but it will be difficult for him unless your mom somehow gets on board. She is the one buying the groceries and providing food. Your brother might benefit by learning the portion plate method. That is something that he can control somewhat, isn't too difficult to maintain and will get healthy variety in him.
  • st476
    st476 Posts: 357 Member
    baciodolce18 wrote: »
    st476 wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    You're story keeps changing. First he is hiding food, now it is just he under estimates...

    I get that you want to come off as this amazing person and likely looking for praise for your efforts. However, you are coming across as a know it all who can do no wrong when it comes to your brother. Sorry for the harsh reality, but you may be doing serious emotional and physical damage to him. You NEED to understand that.
    No it's not changing because in my original post I said I'm not sure if he's underestimating or lying. And actually yes, I am looking for some praise. I'm a 19 year old who has a lot on her plate and has to also basically parent a little kid and deal with a drunk of a dad and a mom who is too lazy to do anything for him. Considering I have all this to do, obviously I may be doing things wrong or coming on too strong sometimes. But what you need to understand is that you don't know the entire situation so when I tell you that he likes what he's having, or that he doesn't feel restricted, or whatever else then you just need to believe me, okay? I was looking for some advice on what to say to my mom or what to do when it comes to taking him to the doctor, not criticism on what I'm currently feeding him because I know what he's doing now is much better than what he was doing before and I know he likes what he's eating. I know my brother better than what you think you know from a short description. Thanks for the help :)

    Not sure if you saw my original post further up, but I want to add to counter some other posters' suggestions of you controlling his Xbox time- I think that's a terrible idea as his sister. I really resented my sisters when they tried to *police* my behavior- either food or activity. I know they were an extra kind of awful, but I think that should come from the parents. You should be his friend and role model. And I don't even know what the solution is as far as the technology because parents all over struggle with figuring out how to limit screen time without massive fights and tantrums. I personally struggle myself with my own screen time.
    I'm so torn on this. Him and I are really close, he goes to me for everything. I just know that my parents aren't doing anything about his xbox time and eating habits, so it's on me. I choose to put his health over other things, even if that means he's going to hate me for an hour (he doesn't really hold grudges). I feel like as he gets older he's going to understand that I'm doing it because I care about him and don't want to see him become 500 pounds. I sometimes lay in bed all day on my phone or watch Netflix and don't do anything too, and I'm fine with him spending 8am to 9pm on Xbox SOME days. But this is everyday. I think I can be his friend while helping him, especially if I explain to him that I'm doing it because I care.

  • megzchica23
    megzchica23 Posts: 419 Member
    One of the things to consider about an 11 year old is he has a lot of growing to do. He is about to hit puberty and have a growth spurt and it could very well put him at the perfect weight by then. So I wouldn't bombard him with trying to lose weight right now. I would just try and make sure he is eating good nutritious meals and not just pigging out on junk food and TV dinners.
  • st476
    st476 Posts: 357 Member
    DebSozo wrote: »
    st476 wrote: »
    janejellyroll wrote: »
    st476 wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    If you are not his parent or guardian, then it really is not your business and you should not be controlling what he eats.

    His parent or guardian should take him to a pediatrician and possible a pediatric dietician. Growing children have specific needs and you could be doing more harm than good.
    It is my business. I'm his sister, and his parents put it on me to control what he eats. My mom knows she has no knowledge about nutrition because the only way she ever lose weight was by going on diets such as drinking only milk on Tuesdays (no food) and only vegetables on Wednesdays. It's completely my business. Or wait, should I just "mind my business" and let my brother get 200, 300, 400 pounds?

    And you're telling me giving him healthy food is doing more harm than letting him eat fried food and chips all day long? I'm not limiting his calories. I let him eat as much food as he needs to feel full. My mom refuses to take him to a health specialist.

    The expectations from your parents, that you parent your brother, aren't appropriate. It's okay for you to set boundaries and reject their inappropriate demands.

    Focus on how to be a good *sister* to your brother, not how to parent him. Just because your parents expect you to take over for them doesn't mean you have to.
    I know I don't have to but I want to. I know I won't help as much as a health specialist but I know I'll help a lot more than my mom will.

    I can sense your concern for your brother. It is great that he has a big sis who cares for him. You can set a good example and teach him while you are there, but it will be difficult for him unless your mom somehow gets on board. She is the one buying the groceries and providing food. Your brother might benefit by learning the portion plate method. That is something that he can control somewhat, isn't too difficult to maintain and will get healthy variety in him.
    I go with her to buy groceries and she's been cutting back on buying some things or replacing it with better things. I'm not sure if this will last when I leave though, but I hope so! I haven't talked to him about the portion plate thing, but I'll definitely do that! It seems easy enough for him to understand
  • st476
    st476 Posts: 357 Member
    megzchica23 wrote: »
    One of the things to consider about an 11 year old is he has a lot of growing to do. He is about to hit puberty and have a growth spurt and it could very well put him at the perfect weight by then. So I wouldn't bombard him with trying to lose weight right now. I would just try and make sure he is eating good nutritious meals and not just pigging out on junk food and TV dinners.
    Yeah, I'm not exactly trying to get him to lose weight but just not gain it. I just know that as he goes through puberty he could gain even more weight (like a lot of people do) despite a growth spurt if his eating habits aren't controlled. I was so skinny when I was his age but around 13 I just gained A LOT of weight.
  • beaglebrandon
    beaglebrandon Posts: 97 Member
    edited July 2016
    janejellyroll wrote: »
    The expectations from your parents, that you parent your brother, aren't appropriate. It's okay for you to set boundaries and reject their inappropriate demands.

    Focus on how to be a good *sister* to your brother, not how to parent him. Just because your parents expect you to take over for them doesn't mean you have to.

    Wow. That is an incredibly off-base, rude and wrong response.

    Brothers and Sisters play a huge role in development of their siblings. Pawning everything off to parents or doctors is just plain stupid. I emulated what my brothers did as a kid. Both good and bad. I wanted to be liked by them. Even when a brother or sister doesn't try to teach, they do.

    Anyways, I don't think a calorie deficit is good for someone 11 years old - still growing. You need to teach him to eat the right kinds of foods, and to exercise. He doesn't need to lose weight quickly, it's not good for someone 11 years old, unless they are morbidly obese.

    And he also has to WANT to do it. If he's addicted to his Xbox, or iPad, you need to tell your parents to see if they can limit his time, or to see if they can trade 1 hour of exercise outside for 1 hour of gaming. See if he wants to go out bike-riding somewhere with you.

    It's tough. When I was a kid, I wasn't overweight, but I didn't like sports at all, just being on my computer and programming. Worked great to get a job later in life. It wasn't until about age 13 that I loved sports.
  • KassiesJourney
    KassiesJourney Posts: 306 Member
    I really wish everyone would stop being such jerks about her trying to help her brother. I am in a similar situation with my youngest sister who is 14 and obese. I don't live at home so I can't do anything about it. If she can/wants to help him then that is between her, her brother and her parents. Its non of your business is she helps him or not.

    Talk to him, workout a meal plan that maybe includes more snacks. Build a grocery list for your mom. Show her the possibilities if this continues, maybe that will motivate her to be more helpful.
  • fatgirlflow
    fatgirlflow Posts: 13 Member
    edited July 2016
    Try using this to work out his caloric needs instead of just guessing. I used the info you posted and it came out at 2600 calories a day. Feeding him 1600 calories worth of plain chicken and some pasta might work for a little bit, but as someone who was obese as a child, it needs to be reasonable for long term. Instead of just feeding him, take him out. Go swimming with him EVERY weekend. Play basketball with him. Go on walks with him. Do fun stuff that has nothing to do with food, and then spend some time learning what a growing kid needs and how to portion control his favourite foods.

    https://www.bcm.edu/cnrc-apps/bodycomp/energy/energyneeds_calculator.htm
  • st476
    st476 Posts: 357 Member
    TeaBea wrote: »
    st476 wrote: »
    A lot of you are giving great advice (except the people saying it's my parents business and that his "diet" is too restrictive. I understand that but you guys need to understand my family is different from yours. My family is lazy and doesn't want to get involved with his health. And my brother isn't on a restrictive diet, because he honestly likes what he eats. You're just going to have to trust me on that one).

    I don't really know what I was looking for. I've tried everything you guys have said and I know there's not much else to do, so thank you for the help. I'll schedule an appointment with the doctor and tell them straight up what my brother wouldn't eat if they try to give him a meal plan with things he doesn't like.

    Your brother may like what he's eating.....but he sometimes doesn't finish meals. He sneaks snacks & lies to you about it. These are warning flags.

    Does your meal plan EVER include a piece of candy? Does your meal plan EVER include a chip? Does your meal plan EVER include fast food?

    Learning portion control for HIS favorite foods will give him tools to keep the weight off. Your radical menu is temporary. He may lose a few pounds, but will quickly gain them back when you go back to school.
    He doesn't finish it because vegetables as chicken and rice is extremely filling and he's either full or he can't wait to go back to his friends on Xbox. Yes it does include that stuff. And no, so far it hasn't included fast food because it's only been a week. I'm not going to go out of my way to get him fast food. I understand having fast food when we're going on a long drive and the only meal available is fast food or something like that, but otherwise I'm not going to get him fast food. But YES, I do let him have chocolate and a serving of pretzels/chips or whatever else.
  • novio50
    novio50 Posts: 778 Member
    Sounds like younger bro needs to get away from the X-Box and get outside and do some activities. That's always good for a young man, that will help with social skills and motivate him to want to do it more often. I can relate, I try to do some activity with my son as he's not at risk for being an over-weight kid, but he's gotten a little pot belly from staying at home with mom. So, we do an activity everyday for an hour. Even if that means going to the park, taking an hour long walk, which is a while for him, and or running around the parking lot of our complex. Kids need more activity especially if they've sought out refuge in their tv and gaming system.

    Also, my son was a picky eater. He didn't always eat what we've cooked. But when he's hungry, he eats. So he's adapted. Kids learn to bounce back pretty well. Cut off that pasta and them nuggets and give him what he should be eating and he may nibble on it for a few days, but when he's hungry, he'll eat what you give him. It may take a while, but it's nothing short of possible.

    A nutritionist would help, but it sounds like everyone needs to get involved. I had slightly overweight parents growing up and once my dad got sick our habits improved for the better. But it was a family effort and that's what caused all of us to lose weight.

    Although it isn't your responsibility to make him lose weight, someone has to get the ball rolling. You can't do this by yourself, it has to be a group effort or else once you're gone to college, old habits will creep back in and all of your effort will be in vain. Make your parents take responsibility for their actions as well.

  • novio50
    novio50 Posts: 778 Member
    Also, preparation for long trips will prevent fast food stops. Internet has lots of resources to help with food prep. You have to remove the excuses for him and everyone else, face the issues head on, care less the wants and focus more on the needs (easier said than done).
  • st476
    st476 Posts: 357 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    st476 wrote: »
    I have one question for everyone. A lot of parents choose to feed their children mostly healthy food, or don't let them have fast food more than once a year and they're called amazing parents. I want my brother to eat MOSTLY healthy food (as much as he needs to feel full) and not eat fast food unless it's necessary and apparently that's wrong? I'm sure he likes the fried food more but what's so wrong with swapping that with healthier options? He is a CHILD after all. Children don't know better and people who supervise them are supposed to make sure they are given what's good for them. I don't think I should give him anything and everything he wants just because he wants it. Now that's not to say that he can't have a serving of chips or a serving of this and that, but I just don't understand what's so bad about not giving a kid McDonald's twice a week just because he wants it. As adults, I'm sure all of you would love to have fast food for every meal but sometimes it's just not the better option. A child can't make those decisions for himself.

    Yeah, all that. But the kid's already fat. You can close the barn doors after the horses have run off but...
    Yes, which is my parents fault. I'm 19, obviously I wasn't old enough his entire life to help him make those smarter decisions. I don't think it's too late now, he's 11. It's something he could get used to.

  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    OP, you want whats best for your brother,I get that. but there isnt much you can do unless you and your parents become a united front and you all have to do this together. you cant try and help him and then your parents(or his which has been said) let him do whatever and eat whatever. it has to be an understanding and effort on all parties. your brother may like your food but he also has to want to do this. he may say he wants to but in reality he may not want to put in the effort to do it. its hard when a kid is overweight. trust me my one sister was like this but all she wanted to do was eat junk food, she would even go to the store and steal it and my mother wouldnt do anything about it.

    she tried to get me and my hubby to help,but when we would try she would get mad and go against everything we tried to do to help the situation. my sister is now 29 and obese and still eats like crap.(I was raised differently than my sister,my mom spoiled her because she had health issues as a kid-seizures,tourettes,etc). my point is we can try and do whats best for our siblings but if our parents arent willing to help then the effort is for nothing in most cases.I agree with him seeing a dr and possibly a dietitian. if he is sneaking food maybe there is another issue there as well? most kids that sneak food usually do it for a reason.There is some reason why he is doing it.you can talk to him about it,maybe he is truly hungry or maybe not. my daughter is extremely picky as well and she has never snuck food or felt the need to.The best thing I can recommend like everyone else has is to get him outside and find some fun things to do. he doesnt have to be an athletic person,but even long walks can help,go sight seeing,find hiking trails,get him interested in nature if you can. walk and talk about things,his day,etc. before he knows it the walk will be over and he has at least gotten some exercise in.
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