Make me laugh

Haha nice

We have been on the hunt for a second rescue dog to join our family and stumbled across this gorgeous girl...

I'm on a whisky diet, I've lost three days already!

What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?

A penguin rolling down a hill.

This is a true story I learned about last night, and it might make you laugh. It also might trigger you, so beware.
My daughter was 11 years old when the 44th POTUS was elected. For some reason, she became convinced that we were going to become homeless. Ever resourceful, she found a large cardboard box and equipped it with doors, windows, and curtains to serve as our 'home' if the big stick and brick structure were to become unavailable. Then Hurricane Katrina happened and flushed out New Orleans. Again, ever resourceful, she had me buy her a pool noodle to handle that possible danger.

She took a picture and showed me the evidence.

A pirate walks into a bar with a ships wheel stuck to the front of his pants. The bartender asks, "Hey, doesn't that hurt?" The pirate growls, "Aye, it's drivin' me nuts."