Hurtful comments towards my appearance.



  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
    I guess i just cant wrap my head around the jealousy, i helped her lose the 15 pounds she wanted to lose, she weighs a few pounds less then i do. =/ so she had success too.. why be jealous of me?

    I dunno. Competition? You don't both like the same guy, do you? Or going for the same job? Heh. Who knows.

    But here's a weird one. Now I see you actually have some closer than just to say hello familiarity with this person. Is there any chance at all that this wasn't about your weight? I mean from wherever the hell far I sit, I think it was, but now I'm wondering.
  • Whitezombiegirl
    Whitezombiegirl Posts: 1,042 Member
    I get told this all the time. If you just met them today they would accept you as you are. They are just going through a period of adjustment in how they see you.

    Congratulations on the weight loss. I agree with the comments on the makeup though. Not that you need to change it but i agree that lighter eye liner ( maybe just top lid) a bit of sheer blush and lip colour (sheer coral red?) would be more flattering - but thats my taste and also an area of interest for me.

    I changed my hair colour from dyed black to natural brown and had to overhaul my entire makeup. It was fun actually.
  • cnbbnc
    cnbbnc Posts: 1,267 Member
    I think you look great. I've gotten many of the same comments from people and as hard as I try to blow it off, it's still hurtful. I tend to be self conscious all on my own without commentary from others.....

    I will say that the comparison pics you posted (phenomenal change btw!) show your face as being quite thin now. I think this is why they're using the word "gaunt". I have the same exact thing going on though as my face has gotten quite slim. It's just where we lost the weight girl, and there's nothing wrong with it. I think it just startles people seeing so much change, and...,people being people....they don't know when to keep their mouths shut.
  • chunky_pinup
    chunky_pinup Posts: 758 Member
    You are beautiful. I'm sorry for the person who decided to take this opportunity to tell you to tan and change up your makeup...just one more person not to listen to!

    Seriously though, the people saying these things might be so used to seeing you one way, that they don't know what to say. They may be saying these things because they are comparing your "new" face to your "old" one, and comparing the two there is a big difference. I think if you started out at this weight and lost 5 pounds, they wouldn't notice that dramatic a difference, but because the loss was so big (and awesome!) they may see it as a negative out of jealousy, or maybe even concern. Brush it off, look at your beautiful self in the mirror, and smile, because you look great!
  • Needtolosefive
    Needtolosefive Posts: 17 Member
    You look gorgeous, OP. I have the same problem as you. Although I'm not at my goal weight yet (five pounds left) people tell me that my face is unattractive and gaunt and that I look "bony". Don't let it get to you.
  • Jackie_Paper
    Jackie_Paper Posts: 183 Member
    You look cute and not sick, they are probably either jealous or just not used to the comparison. But you're doing this for you, not coworkers
  • shmulyeng
    shmulyeng Posts: 472 Member
    I don't know your co-workers so I can't really comment if they're jealous. But it's very possible that they meant well (albeit, not very tactful about it). I'm commenting based on my experience losing lots of weigh. When certain people, who only see you a couple of days a week, see the huge change in your appearance, it's a huge shock. This change is many times associated with illness. This can lead them to think that something is wrong. After losing >100 pounds, I was approached by a co-worker, who I hardly ever spoke to, and she asked me if I'm feeling well. When I told her I've never felt better, she was visibly relieved. I think she really thought I was losing weigh because of an illness.
  • buckleten
    buckleten Posts: 205 Member
    You look absolutely great, I can only assume that anyone saying otherwise is jealous! Or insecure! X
  • minniemoo1972
    minniemoo1972 Posts: 295 Member
    Shana67 wrote: »
    Thanks for the make up tips, i apologize for not being tanned? i dont really know how to respond to that comment.

    You know... that was her 1st post ever? And please disregard HER comments as well as they were rude. You are not too skinny, you look lovely and your makeup is perfect. What a weirdo (her, not you!!).

    Wonder if this is her rude person ???
  • sdelrie98
    sdelrie98 Posts: 7 Member
    Do you feel well? Strong? Is your energy level up to par? Are you sleeping well? If you can answer yes to all of these, then counter their ah-hem "concerns" with this info. And don't let them get you down. Your picture is very cute. You are a very attractive young lady. It could be jealousy talking. Or (to give them benefit of the doubt) you could have been tired that day (it happens) and your coworkers could have misread tiredness for a "gaunt" look. Either way, just judging from your pics, I think you are a strong warrior, who has accomplished a great feat. I'm proud of and inspired by you! Stay healthy and strong!
  • djones209
    djones209 Posts: 23 Member
    edited July 2016
    You look fabulous. What you must try to tell yourself is that people you work with all day every day are used to seeing you the way that you were before. Because of this, they think that you are too skinny. With that said, they should not have said such comments to you, but they probably didn't realize how they came across. I have lost weight so many times.....every time I lose a lot of weight I have people make some of those kind of remarks to me. I realize that they think I am too thin because they are used to being around me when I was so heavy. Don't let it get to you. Honestly, if you work with people who are saying this, I would probably say something to let them know how hurtful this and hopefully clear the air.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    It is such an accomplishment at your height to get to a healthy goal weight. Very few people will understand the amount of work that represents.

    If this person feels free to comment on your general health again ask her to kindly keep those opinions to herself. You have time and experience on your side.
  • Treece68
    Treece68 Posts: 780 Member
    You look great! You have done a fantastic job!
  • SweetP27
    SweetP27 Posts: 217 Member
    You're beautiful!! Great job - go look in the mirror and remind yourself just how awesome you are!
  • ksamp39
    ksamp39 Posts: 20 Member
    You look happy pretty and as you should proud ,what great determination and strength you had to get where you are now.Oh and if your described as pale then I must be a vampire! but hey we can just go sparkle with all the eyeliner and lipstick we can get on :)
  • singletrackmtbr
    singletrackmtbr Posts: 644 Member
    My neighbor is a nice guy, but heavy set. I've hung out at his house when his brothers come to visit. They have contests to see who can hit the highest number on the scale. I was laughed at once for playing and topping out at 174# (I'm currently 156). They told me that isn't what "a man should weigh."

    Since then, 3 of them have had heart attacks and one needed open heart surgery. They're all in their early 40s.

    Let them say what they want. You've got this.
  • leejoyce31
    leejoyce31 Posts: 794 Member

    I took this photo July 13th 2016.

    Today a couple of co workers told me that I looked Sick and Gaunt.
    I had to google what that word meant as i had never heard it before.
    They told me that my cheeks were thin and my eyes were sunken in and that i didn't look healthy.

    I am 5 foot 3, 139.2 pounds and at my goal weight.
    I cried after i was told this.. Losing 113 pounds, i feel very self conscious still about my body, as far as loose skin goes, etc, but i didn't think i looked that bad?

    Please be honest, do i look ill?

    I was leaving church yesterday morning and the lady said and I quote, "You need to gain some weight. You need to call your doctor. Seriously, you need to gain weight". At the time, I just smiled and kept walking. I have her phone number and texted her that I didn't appreciate it. She claimed concern, but I made it clear that I eat healthy and exercise and that I no longer have high cholesterol. I told her that she embarrassed me since several people were around. I could have been nasty to her when she did it, but I decided to be a better person than she was and address it in private. She apologized, but to be honest, I was still a little upset today. Then, I decided it's not worth the energy and effort. I would say also that you look fine to me.

    What I have learned though is that people who knew me before are the ones that say those things. I think part of it is that they see the drastic change. But people that I meet who didn't know me before say that I look great.

    You don't look gaunt. I have been told that as well. However, I will say that my clavicle bone is very noticeable and protrudes a lot now. I think that adds to the fact that people say I look gaunt. You don't seem to look boney or anything. If you are happy with your appearance, try to look pass what others say. But it can be annoying. No way would I cry because I look at it this way..... Everyone has something about their appearance that I could also comment about. So, who are they is what I tell myself.
  • BewitchedBelinda99
    BewitchedBelinda99 Posts: 253 Member
    edited July 2016
    I really like your make up it suits you! Not that you asked for anyone's opinion on it!!!