Hurtful comments towards my appearance.

I've competed at physique shows, and most of the people I work with don't understand what I'm trying to accomplish, in terms of weight loss. My face usually gets emaciated when I drop down to competition weight, which for most would be a sign of sickness. Instead of being complimented, they would tell me I should eat a burger and fries. The point is, I don't take them seriously, you shouldn't either. Be proud of your accomplishments, regardless of what others think. Haters gonna hate, go and brush your shoulders off.

IMHO, you look fantastic.

Beautiful...that's all I can say! Inspiring is second...May I ask what your motivation was and a little of your journey. Congratulations

@Krisstastic_ Your own insight and honesty about your feelings can be both a burden and yet they can also be used for more positive things like exploring the issues that you still have now even though you have lost weight.

Many times, me included I thought that if I lost all the excess weight then life and my insecurities, self-doubts, worries etc were all going to magically disappear - that did not happen. Yes I had freed myself of the burden of obesity and greatly improved my health but you can't face and deal with all your demons at once.

Self-kindness and having a honest feeling of pride in all you have accomplished is a hard one for people who are fragile. Maybe you are expecting too much from yourself all at once....you are still trying on the new persona as someone who is not defined by the above eating issues.

I'm sorry that the journey was so hard and it sounds very lonely for you - but and it's a big but - You still accomplished your goal and you did it alone.

You must be strong, probably a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. Your insights and experiences can make you all the better person in the long run as you will be able to empathize with others struggles. You seem to me to be very caring and sensitive and that nature I believe has been taken advantage of by your co-worker/s and her/their comments over the time....for someone like you and me, gentle souls who often go out of our way to support and encourage others this is just so devastating...we don't see it coming and we feel powerless to not let it deeply wound us.

I admire those who have the ability to really get to the crux of where the ownership of whose issue it is - the offending party and their stupid, petty remarks. I'm 53 and still trying to develop my self-confidence and esteem, yet a well placed bullet to my heart still knocks me for a six.

I feel for you, but I do know reading that background story of your experiences you are strong....you have to believe that. Keep up building yourself up rather than let others tear you down.

Truly - you are beautiful both outside and I think inside. You have accomplished a miracle many cannot or will not commit to. You did it despite the lack of support and I believe that you can keep going on to accomplish all that you have ever dreamed of.

I do so wish you all the very best.
K

I've been writing down why I eat each item as well as logging the food, and it's been insightful. I'm not sure that'll help with your issues, but in my case I decided to see if I could maybe do that for about ten days and then analyze the data afterwards. Haven't got to that last part yet, but again, the process itself has been very helpful to me.

See now though, your most recent comments would be an example of why I asked if it was possible that your friends' comments may not have necessarily been weight related. I'm still not sure they were helpful, but they may have noticed some of the things you mentioned and tried to intervene in their own way

JaneiR36 wrote: »

See now though, your most recent comments would be an example of why I asked if it was possible that your friends' comments may not have necessarily been weight related. I'm still not sure they were helpful, but they may have noticed some of the things you mentioned and tried to intervene in their own way

Having read the OP's posts and everyone's comments, I agree with @JaneiR36 - the OP's mentions about her depression, and struggles with her self-esteem, may well be where her colleagues are pointing towards when they mention looking sick or ill. Oftentimes, people just can't quite verbalise things they are concerned about, and the comments may have come across as being related to her physicality, when they were trying to pinpoint their worries about her mental health. Talking about mental health, and especially to people we don't know intimately, is one of the most tricky and difficult things, and it can so easily come across as callous, insensitive or just getting it plain wrong.

To the OP, your weight loss is a massive achievement - congratulations. Working on your self-esteem will be a long process, but it's something you can start right now. Of course, it's difficult, and people who haven't dealt with depression will likely never quite understand how easy it is to slip back into the old mindsets of feeling worthless, fat and unloved - even when the reality is you're none of those things.

When I was recovering from my worst depressive episodes about 18 months ago, I discovered that finding a hobby I loved made a lot of difference. In the past year, I've learnt to sew, and I now go to evening classes at my local college, as well as attending a sewing group based in a nearby fabric shop. I also have committed to pilates - which helps with relaxation techniques by understanding how to release tense muscles (yoga would have a similar effect). My advice may only be suitable for me, and not the OP, but I would recommend getting out of the house on a regular basis, even when you want to hide away. I'm lucky that I live 5 minutes walk from a beach, and I go there to clear my head pretty regularly. My pilates group have started barefoot beach walks early in the mornings, and I walk a 4 mile round trip twice a week with them. I can't tell you how much this has improved the start to my days!

Sounds like a serious case of jealousy to me. You're beautiful and you look fabulous! Congratulations on such a huge success! I totally admire you. Ignore those idiots. They say the same things to my daughter. She's 5'5" and 118 lbs. She's stunningly beautiful, but there will always be haters.

People will be jerks a lot of times. You look great.

I can totally see why they think you look "gaunt" even though you look GORGEOUS. They're not used to seeing you at your new size. That was a dramatic transformation! Congratulations!!

Hang in there. You look fantastic and it took a heck of a lot of work to get where you did. Your eyes are bright, your skin is lovely. You're beautiful. It might take people who have only known you at a heavy weight some time to adjust to the new you