Fat Shamed at Grocery Stores

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Replies

  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    And if people are right that you made this up, that doesnt make sense to me either.
  • marmalade225
    marmalade225 Posts: 9 Member
    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »
    Thank you all........I will admit that today I have been having junk food again (a whole large pizza) because I'm still really upset. I can barely get out of bed. I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal but it's really upsetting and I couldn't sleep until the early hours last night. A lot of you are saying I should tell the manager of the stores, but I don't want to get anyone fired :/

    Sorry, but this kind of behavior DESERVES shaming.

    You are in charge of your life, your emotions and your choices. Be a grown up and start taking some responsibility for what goes in your mouth.

    That's really rude /: She's an adult, not a child. Don't tell her she deserves to be shamed, geez. Yes, it's true, a person's decisions is theirs and theirs alone and we each are responsible for what we do. But sometimes when you are really down low, it's not so black and white and easy to see. Sometimes people just need to be reminded that they are in control of themselves. I'm sure you've had a time or two when you felt like crap and wanted to blame everything on the rest of the world. Hopefully you were lucky enough to have someone there to support you through rough times like such, and lucky enough not to have someone there telling you you SHOULD feel ashamed of yourself. I really don't think your harsh comments were necessary; you never know what state of mind a person is at. Just what I think, no offense intended towards anyone :)
  • fineporcelain01
    fineporcelain01 Posts: 23 Member
    benjaminhk wrote: »
    This one time I was fat-shamed by a whole town of people so I got back at them by making myself sick at a pie eating contest. After completing several pies, I started to vomit all over Bill Travis. Before he knew it, he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Bossman Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins, who barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife's t.i.t.s. But when the smell hit the crowd, that's when my plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends. Kids barfed on their parents. A fat lady barfed in her purse. The Donnelley twins barfed on each other, and the Women's Auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes. And I just sat back and enjoyed what I'd created-a complete and total barf-o-rama!

    Do you always steal movie stories and make them yours? This has no relevance here.
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    marmalade225 wrote: »
    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »
    Thank you all........I will admit that today I have been having junk food again (a whole large pizza) because I'm still really upset. I can barely get out of bed. I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal but it's really upsetting and I couldn't sleep until the early hours last night. A lot of you are saying I should tell the manager of the stores, but I don't want to get anyone fired :/

    Sorry, but this kind of behavior DESERVES shaming.

    You are in charge of your life, your emotions and your choices. Be a grown up and start taking some responsibility for what goes in your mouth.

    That's really rude /: She's an adult, not a child. Don't tell her she deserves to be shamed, geez. Yes, it's true, a person's decisions is theirs and theirs alone and we each are responsible for what we do. But sometimes when you are really down low, it's not so black and white and easy to see. Sometimes people just need to be reminded that they are in control of themselves. I'm sure you've had a time or two when you felt like crap and wanted to blame everything on the rest of the world. Hopefully you were lucky enough to have someone there to support you through rough times like such, and lucky enough not to have someone there telling you you SHOULD feel ashamed of yourself. I really don't think your harsh comments were necessary; you never know what state of mind a person is at. Just what I think, no offense intended towards anyone :)

    Using this as an excuse to let her emotions run wild and to binge eat IS acting like a child.

    It is certainly not the approach of a well-adjusted, normal grown up. The appropriate thing to do is to complain so that it doesn't happen to anyone else and then move on with your life and taking care of yourself.
  • 12Sarah2015
    12Sarah2015 Posts: 1,117 Member
    The big problem you have to deal with is why r u eating a whole pizza? Someone random who says something shouldn't hurt you if you don't let it. Have you been to counselling?
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    marmalade225 wrote: »
    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »
    Thank you all........I will admit that today I have been having junk food again (a whole large pizza) because I'm still really upset. I can barely get out of bed. I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal but it's really upsetting and I couldn't sleep until the early hours last night. A lot of you are saying I should tell the manager of the stores, but I don't want to get anyone fired :/

    Sorry, but this kind of behavior DESERVES shaming.

    You are in charge of your life, your emotions and your choices. Be a grown up and start taking some responsibility for what goes in your mouth.

    That's really rude /: She's an adult, not a child. Don't tell her she deserves to be shamed, geez. Yes, it's true, a person's decisions is theirs and theirs alone and we each are responsible for what we do. But sometimes when you are really down low, it's not so black and white and easy to see. Sometimes people just need to be reminded that they are in control of themselves. I'm sure you've had a time or two when you felt like crap and wanted to blame everything on the rest of the world. Hopefully you were lucky enough to have someone there to support you through rough times like such, and lucky enough not to have someone there telling you you SHOULD feel ashamed of yourself. I really don't think your harsh comments were necessary; you never know what state of mind a person is at. Just what I think, no offense intended towards anyone :)

    Using this as an excuse to let her emotions run wild and to binge eat IS acting like a child.

    It is certainly not the approach of a well-adjusted, normal grown up. The appropriate thing to do is to complain so that it doesn't happen to anyone else and then move on with your life and taking care of yourself.

    to me the appropriate thing to do is insult her and cause a scene. i guess i am not well-adjusted normal grown up like you
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »
    *UPDATE* Stuck to healthy eating yesterday and went to the gym :D

    good for you keep at it.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    michelleepotter wrote: »
    Therealobi1 wrote: »
    i was in aldi few months back and this lady went absolutely crazy because they wouldn't let her take her basket full of shopping to the car. you are not allowed to take baskets out of the shop
    sooooooooooooo
    i dont really understand this story. there is no way i would be giving my money to any cashier insulting me. i wouldnt slap them but we would insult each other until the manager is paged. I dont understand this situation.Also the cashier is some rude stranger, why let them get into your head?

    Unfortunately, I understand it too well. I still vividly remember a cashier in a grocery store telling me, "I'd kill you if you were my daughter!" Because I was 22 and having my 4th child. People think if they know one thing about you, they can make assumptions and judgments about the kind of person you are, and then say those opinions out loud. She clearly had some ideas about what kind of a person I must be. What she didn't know is that I was married, all of my children have the same father, I was educated and well-traveled, and financially capable of raising my children. She also didn't know that when I was 19, my new boyfriend's ex-wife showed up on my doorstep and left two small children, and I'd been raising them as my own ever since. Maybe she'd rethink her assessment of me. Maybe not. I don't really care. As long as people can be respectful and keep their damn mouths shut, they can *think* whatever they want.

    bloody hell i am not sure where you guys are shopping. i was a cashier in my youth and just answering back to a customer would get you in trouble. The only customers i was aware of were the ones that smelt really badly otherwise i really couldnt care less who i was serving. I guess these cashiers need to pass the time away and amuse themselves some how.
  • Neanbean13
    Neanbean13 Posts: 211 Member
    I may be 'fat' but hey, atleast I'm not a cashier! *smirk* walk away
  • Isabelle_1929
    Isabelle_1929 Posts: 233 Member
    Where do you live? In a place where no one is fat, I presume?
  • pgarcia1964
    pgarcia1964 Posts: 27 Member
    Wow, I am so sorry you had to deal with this. I have never been confronted with that kind of rudeness. I would have talked to the manager that is just not something that should be allowed.
  • sunnybeaches105
    sunnybeaches105 Posts: 2,831 Member
    Neanbean13 wrote: »
    I may be 'fat' but hey, atleast I'm not a cashier! *smirk* walk away

    I love how people are taking offense to this. There's nothing wrong with cutting someone down to size when they insult you for no reason. Of course, that depends on the veracity of the OP's story.

    Overweight people versus cashiers, rumble in the check out, news at 11 . . .
  • RachelElser
    RachelElser Posts: 427 Member
    fineporcelain01 wrote: »
    I was a cashier for a certain high profile mega discount store. The management knows that there are days that you are going to have bad customers, and I am not saying that she wasn't wrong because she was. 100 Percent. But with your very small shopping choices DONT let these little girls make you feel bad. You are better than that. One commenter said that you should use your phone and record all of your check out transactions. This is a very good idea, and you should do this. Not only for you to have leverage to chat with the manager, but you can also use it for your own motivation. If the manager sees it in real time or recorded then shown, the chances are better that he will do something. Remember, we are here to support you, to motivate you, but you have to stand up for yourself. After the first time, it will get easier for you to do. Log everything you eat, all of your exercises, drink lots of water. REMEMBER, IT DIDN'T GO ON OVERNIGHT AND IT WILL NOT COME OFF OVERNIGHT. Even if you don't see results as quick as you want, dont give up. It takes your body time to adjust and catch up with you. People put others down because there is something in their life that they dont like, so to make them feel better, they have to be mean to someone else. We are here for you. Just dont give up on yourself. Feel free to send me a friend request as I also need support and motivation.. YOU GOT THIS !!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!! YOU ARE A STRONG PERSON!!!

    do make sure you can do one party recording in your state though. IN some states it's illegal to record someone without their knowledge
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    RainaProske wrote: »
    Oh, Honey.
    Neanbean13 wrote: »
    I may be 'fat' but hey, atleast I'm not a cashier! *smirk* walk away
    Really?

    One of my favorite jobs, when I was in my late 20s, was cashiering for Country Club Market in MPLS. There is not a thing wrong with that work. My first husband was a grocery store manager, but when he was killed, they offered me the job, and I jumped at it. Cashiering is a decent job.

    nothing wrong with cashiering. got me through my studies so didnt have to rely on my mum for money.
  • marmalade225
    marmalade225 Posts: 9 Member
    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    marmalade225 wrote: »
    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »
    Thank you all........I will admit that today I have been having junk food again (a whole large pizza) because I'm still really upset. I can barely get out of bed. I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal but it's really upsetting and I couldn't sleep until the early hours last night. A lot of you are saying I should tell the manager of the stores, but I don't want to get anyone fired :/

    Sorry, but this kind of behavior DESERVES shaming.

    You are in charge of your life, your emotions and your choices. Be a grown up and start taking some responsibility for what goes in your mouth.

    That's really rude /: She's an adult, not a child. Don't tell her she deserves to be shamed, geez. Yes, it's true, a person's decisions is theirs and theirs alone and we each are responsible for what we do. But sometimes when you are really down low, it's not so black and white and easy to see. Sometimes people just need to be reminded that they are in control of themselves. I'm sure you've had a time or two when you felt like crap and wanted to blame everything on the rest of the world. Hopefully you were lucky enough to have someone there to support you through rough times like such, and lucky enough not to have someone there telling you you SHOULD feel ashamed of yourself. I really don't think your harsh comments were necessary; you never know what state of mind a person is at. Just what I think, no offense intended towards anyone :)

    Using this as an excuse to let her emotions run wild and to binge eat IS acting like a child.

    It is certainly not the approach of a well-adjusted, normal grown up. The appropriate thing to do is to complain so that it doesn't happen to anyone else and then move on with your life and taking care of yourself.

    You are missing the point that you need to treat other human beings with respect. That is one of the most basic responsibilities you have. I'm going on a rant now, but people around here seem so rude, discouraging and disrespectful. I was hoping to encounter more compassionate and understanding people. I don't know if it's just the people I've been encountering or what, but man. The lack of empathy is seriously killing me, I can't stand to think that people really think and believe that they can act that way and treat people like that. But whatever, I'm just ranting :smile: don't mind me. And all of that was not directed at you specifically, I'm just crabby today and sick of people acting like children. I just don't think I'm going to be posting on these forums much. And by the way, the next time you feel like utter crap, imagine someone standing there yelling in your face that you should be ashamed of yourself and that you're nothing but a child. Please, just once, imagine it. OP, I hope you work things out and don't give up trying to be a healthier you.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    You could respond by cancelling your purchase immediately and walking out of the store.
    You could ask to see the manager immediately or call/write a letter after you leave the store letting them know of the incidents. Let them know that you are being advised by employees not to buy products at their store as well as being personally insulted.
    You could tell your friends, family and neighbors who might shop there instead of internet strangers.
    You could blow it off and just go on with your life. Shop at the stores every week and learn to talk back if someone is rude to you like " Maybe you should get a different job where you aren't working with people. Retail seems to be a really bad fit for you."
    You could talk about your emotional eating with a therapist and work on developing new tools.

    I live in a small town with one grocery store. I would not avoid the store because of a rude, stupid cashier.
    Cashiers are people doing a job. Their job is to sell stuff not be hateful to customers due to size/skin color/gender/religion/poverty, make negative comments about the store's products, telling you their personal problems, or giving unsolicited advice to customers. If they aren't doing their job right you should give feedback to their boss. The boss decides if they get a reprimand, better training or get fired. If it isn't important enough to speak up then it isn't important enough to eat a whole pizza.
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
    Neanbean13 wrote: »
    I may be 'fat' but hey, atleast I'm not a cashier! *smirk* walk away

    Yeah, because 2 wrongs make a right. Smh
  • cmeranda79
    cmeranda79 Posts: 15 Member
    That's bonkers. How is that even helpful in any way? They're not trying to educate you or understand your situation; they're just spouting off because their job sucks and they need to vent.

    I have a few unusual physical attributes (scars, body shape) that people sometimes comment on. Occasionally people are so tone deaf it leaves me reeling. The response that has worked best for me is to become still and quiet (give them a Gandalf look, basically :) ), and then say casually, "Wow. Who says things like that?" And then just wait. It seems to hold up a mirror somehow.

    It sounds like you've got to make this work based on grocery store availability. Remember that you can't control what people say to you or how they act, only how you respond. If this is a big enough grocery store to have management that cares about customer service, I'd wait for someone to say something again and then warn them, "Please don't make derogatory comments about my weight." If they do it again, ask to speak to management or file a complaint with the chain. Treat it like any form of discrimination and know that speaking out might prevent someone else from experiencing the same thing.

    Here's the thing: you've made changes and you're making progress. Your first paragraph shows that YOU feel good about you. That's the thing to trust, not some random 3rd party with dubious motivations. Don't let other people set your boundaries for self-acceptance; it gives them too much power.
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
    edited July 2016
    I would have reported those cashier for their unprofessional comments - they do not belong working w the general public
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