Criticised by a gym professional...

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  • chunky_pinup
    chunky_pinup Posts: 758 Member
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    Do you and this person live in the same town?
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10429647/fat-shamed-at-grocery-stores/p1
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,214 Member
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    Katleskin wrote: »
    As the comment came 2nd hand I'd just let it go - too many 'he said'/'she said's for me to even be bothered with. Yes, I'd probably have been hurt if such a comment filtered back to me too but, you know what, he doesn't have to live your life so why on earth would you let his opinions dictate how you live it?

    Life is too short and potentially too amazing to waste it worrying about what other people (who you barely know) think about you. Honestly, forget about it.

    As for the 'struggling' thing well, who *doesn't* struggle when they try something new? If he enjoys watching you struggle, lets hope he enjoys seeing you succeed because that's exactly what you're going to do! Turn up, kick *kitten*, repeat!

    If you're gonna listen to anyone, listen to Jake.

    uzsk5a3xl2hk.png


    Yup. I sucked at aerobics classes initially. I sucked at tennis initially. I'm currently sucking at golf, I really don't want another "most honest golfer" prize thanks. But I know that, for me at least, it has to begin this way.

  • pondee629
    pondee629 Posts: 2,469 Member
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    There is a reason why this type of comment is not admissible as hearsay in court. It is inherently unreliable. MIL said that someone else said this. So what? Are we now to the point where we are offended second hand?

    You really don't know what the gym professional said, only what your MIL said he said:

    You don't know why he said it, if he did, under what circumstances or if he really meant it as a put down or insult:

    and, as stated above, you really aren't sure if any statement that might or might not have been made was really admiration or a complement. We are often funny to watch when we start a new thing.

    Don't make a thing over it until or unless something is said, or done, to you directly that is offensive.
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
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    "hurt" is a personal choice the OP made. Some people can't help but reach for the victim card as a way of drawing sympathy from others... OP... you signed up, spent good money, bought clothes, and enlisted a friend to embark on this journey. Congratulations!!! what to do with here say evidence that someone "privately" commented on your first efforts? ignore it and get back to work... educate yourself on the machinery, talk to the desk to see if they have an orientation session that will offer you an opportunity to learn the right way... OR get on youtube and educate yourself. knowledge is power... so head up, and get back at it YOU do this for YOU, if it is for any other reason, you will find a million other excuses to quit...this just happened to be the first. I would wish you luck, but luck has nothing to do with people's success here... success is a result of determination, education, and setting realistic goals... put those three things together and what you heard someone say about you becomes totally irrelevant.
  • Golbat
    Golbat Posts: 276 Member
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    I get annoyed when people assume the only reason to go to the gym is to lose weight. I have a thyroid condition and I don't know how much weight I'll lose, but I know exercise is healthy and will help me have greater mobility as I age regardless of whether I ever get thin. The gym exists for people who are overweight too. There are no rules that say only thin people can go there, or even that it's worthless if you don't eventually get thin.
  • chunky_pinup
    chunky_pinup Posts: 758 Member
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    kerrydensmore wrote: »
    chunky_pinup wrote: »
    Do you and this person live in the same town?
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10429647/fat-shamed-at-grocery-stores/p1

    He lives about 30 mins from me.

    But I'm suckin it up and gonna keep my head up and keep on track.

    Thanks everyone

    Oh. Well then...
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
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    summamumma wrote: »
    Just my opinion, but I don't think overweight people should go to the gym, especially not those mega-gyms. Oh, the irony! The only time I have felt good there is when I was already in shape. I would never go there in my current state (60 pounds to lose). I don't workout outside for the same reason. People are mean and as hard as you try not to let it get to you, it still will be in the back of your mind. Getting in shape is hard and you need only positive voices around you, either at home or at a small gym with other overweight people.
    Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. This is absolutely horrible, discouraging and judgmental.

  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,212 Member
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    If he said - or even thought - something like that, it says a lot about him (none of it good) . . . and it says nothing whatsoever about you.

    Definitely do what you want and need to do to be the strong, healthy woman you're striving to be. Don't let a minority of small-minded, insecure people drag you down. I guarantee there are people at that gym admiring your determination, and before long they'll be admiring your progress. It wouldn't surprise me if some of those mature, good-hearted folks from the gym eventually numbered among your friends.

    Keep doing the good stuff; you'll get the rewards. Ignore the rare jerk you meet along the way; they'll find their just desserts as well, eventually.
  • Sarc_Warrior
    Sarc_Warrior Posts: 430 Member
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    Go to the gym. Do work. Tell the haters to get bent...
  • conniedj
    conniedj Posts: 470 Member
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    I agree with much of what has been said. In addition I would add: Don't let emotions be the boss of you! Many a workout has been stolen by moments of sadness that blast your motivation out of the water. You get to choose how you feel. Just choose to smile and wave at all the D-bags out there......
  • AmberSpamber
    AmberSpamber Posts: 391 Member
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    May I ask why it upset you so much? You are there bettering yourself, and making this change for you and no one else. There are always going to be people who say mean things, but that doesn't mean it defines you and it certainly doesn't mean you need to run home and cry. Don't let his dumb comments get to you because it is just a reflection of how he feels about himself on the inside. Instead of backing off, use that arrogant comment to push you harder and give him a reason to shut his mouth.
  • wdunnett1
    wdunnett1 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    Keep going and killing it, and then one day you'll be laughing at him. Because you worked for what you get. Anyone with that mentality and attitude doesn't appreciate what they got and therfore, takes a much lazier approach to the whole fitness lifestyle. I guarantee it
  • owieprone
    owieprone Posts: 217 Member
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    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Sorry to hear that, but how reliable is your source as far as "it got back to" you? Either way, does it really matter? If it was said, then that is just plain rude and immature on their part. I AM confrontational and if I heard it first hand I'd speak to them directly about it. This catches people off guard and sometimes prevents them from doing this type of thing again.

    If not, you just need to work on not letting the silly words of others upset you. YOU are in control of your life and your feelings. Don't give away your power like that! Take charge, do what you want and need to do and forget others.

    BTW, just because that person trains people at a gym doesn't mean they are knowledgeable or better than anyone else that goes there.

    Have to agree with Bzah's post in totality.

    Irrelevant 2nd-hand gossip doesn't matter.

    YOU matter, that is all you need to remember. Well that and exercise is addictive... participate with caution or you'll end up doing crazy stuff like triathlon's, rollerderby, karate, yoga or fencing... or, you know, all 5.


    Never stop :smiley:



  • kerrydensmore
    kerrydensmore Posts: 15 Member
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    AmberSpamber wrote: »
    May I ask why it upset you so much? You are there bettering yourself, and making this change for you and no one else. There are always going to be people who say mean things, but that doesn't mean it defines you and it certainly doesn't mean you need to run home and cry. Don't let his dumb comments get to you because it is just a reflection of how he feels about himself on the inside. Instead of backing off, use that arrogant comment to push you harder and give him a reason to shut his mouth.

    I guess the reason it upset me so much was cause I had a bad home life growing with my dad. And am very timid person. I am trying to over come a lot of things from my past plus stress at my home with my hubby getting hurt at work and doc visits and surgeries for him. This one thing was more of the hair that broke the camel's back I think. But I'm doing better this week. After reading a lot of these comments I'm trying to overcome a lot of issues in my past and present.
  • bubble_wrap0428
    bubble_wrap0428 Posts: 88 Member
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    He shouldn't be in the field of training people if he makes fun of them struggling? I'm sure he didn't pop out of the womb muscled. He had to "struggle" to get where he is at too. I'd let it slide. People say hurtful things about others all the time, least you're trying. The fact that you let his remark stop you is just contradicting to yourself. Push harder! You got this!
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    newmeadow wrote: »
    chunky_pinup wrote: »
    kerrydensmore wrote: »
    chunky_pinup wrote: »
    Do you and this person live in the same town?
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10429647/fat-shamed-at-grocery-stores/p1

    He lives about 30 mins from me.

    But I'm suckin it up and gonna keep my head up and keep on track.

    Thanks everyone

    Oh. Well then...

    Yup. We knew @chunky_pinup.

    Wait. What just happened? :lol:
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    why would your MIL tell you that? she's actually the first person who needs to be taught manners

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