married chit-chatters?

supernurse_84 wrote: »

Married 6 yrs. 3 kids under 5. He's a SAHD and I'm an ICU nurse.

@supernurse_84 Sounds like a busy home AND workplace for you. I am curious how the SAHD situation is working for you all? Are all your children the same gender? I know a family with two boys and the father being home has been fantastic for them. I was just wondering if you could share some more of your experience with the Dad at home scenario. Thanks!

See, thats what attracted me to my hubby - he made me laugh.

RainaProske, thats brilliant!!!

I brought up arguing above, mentioning humor. My husband and I have only had one fight, meaning we both got angry and actually went to bed angry. All that over what I thought of a stupid movie I went to with him, reluctantly.

But debates and arguments? We have plenty. Yesterday, I argued that I had put two appointments on the calendar; he said I had not. Of course, I knew I was right. I got the calendar to show him, and I was WRONG!

But re debates, they saved us!

We were both brought up in the same cult, and when I got strong enough to leave it, I did, while he continued to attend for awhile. We debated the cult, the Bible, etc., and it was an excellent chance for both of us to verbalize what we were thinking, to hear and consider the other's point of view, and to see their proofs. Although we have been away from the cult, we continue our debates occasionally. I love the debates, and I think he does, too.

I met DW 3 July 1966, I had just graduated HS and she was sweet sixteen. We are going back to hometown in Iowa this week for my 50 year HS reunion. She was pleasantly plump by 1960s Iowa standards then, Now she is 5' and 103#, I am positive I have the FITTEST 66yo wife. I was 180 pounds in HS, now at 236 AFTER losing 140 pounds since Jan 2013.
Married 47 years!

Jimb376mfp wrote: »

Motorsheen wrote: »

We have been married for 147 years.




..... I do the math in dog years

Ha ha G1

That puts me at 329 YEARS!!!

Wow does that mean 7 present on anniversary. One for every wonderful year your spouse provided you.

I can't even imagine having people like that in my life. I would tell them to *kitten* off. Would they take comfort in that? Edit to add: If they are an *kitten* to people, they aren't a good friend. Cut them loose. They are holding you back from better friendships.

@lonestar
I have one boy and two girls. It's worked out ok. He feels useless letting his wife work while he stays home but agrees it's best for our kids. I don't harp at him about dinner on the table and a clean house because I know if roles were reversed it would tick me off. He is planning to have chicken houses built soon so he will work from home and I work stop working to be a SAHM once they are paid for. So far so good. We make it work.

kevinf2380 wrote: »

Keeping the tension down is key. The other night my wife was actually wrong for once and I yelled really loud in a Mortal Kombat voice "You Lose!"..... Then she tried to change what she said and ended up being more wrong. Fatality!

Hahah I love the MK reference.

Guns_N_Buns wrote: »

BinaryPulsar wrote: »

I can't even imagine having people like that in my life. I would tell them to *kitten* off. Would they take comfort in that? Edit to add: If they are an *kitten* to people, they aren't a good friend. Cut them loose. They are holding you back from better friendships.

Yes, exactly. I gave her the benefit of the doubt for far too long. It was rough.

Yeah, you were being a sweet friend. Glad it ended. ♥

TonyB0588 wrote: »

thenananator wrote: »

Met July 1982. Engaged in August 1982 - our parents freaked out! Waited to get married until July 1985. Had first daughter in 1987 and then adopted 3 more kids after that, the most recent one adopted last year. Secrets to our 31 years: 1. DO NOT fight over money. Ever. (whether we had any or not. We are on the same team man) 2. Laugh our arses off about stuff that we really should not laugh about, like cancer diagnosis (we laughed) 3. Lots of great you-know-what

Thanks for posting. I was almost feeling strange with so many on here at 3 years or 6 years.
Its 1988 to 2016 for me, and still counting .............

And I agree with your 1, 2, 3, list above.

We aint no rookies

supernurse_84 wrote: »

@lonestar
I have one boy and two girls. It's worked out ok. He feels useless letting his wife work while he stays home but agrees it's best for our kids. I don't harp at him about dinner on the table and a clean house because I know if roles were reversed it would tick me off. He is planning to have chicken houses built soon so he will work from home and I work stop working to be a SAHM once they are paid for. So far so good. We make it work.

I feel like that as a SAHM....like its 'nothing'. Logically i know thats not true, but its hard to get over that mindset.

Reality, for those stay-at-home-parents, is that this is the most important job in the household.

A lot of people bend over backwards, trying to make parents who stay with the children feel better about their work. Where does that come from? Since when must we make silly attempts to appease them? Probably started in the mid-60s when women were shamed for not working outside the home, and it was unheard of for men to take care of their own children. Often, when men took care of their children, we called it "baby sitting." I still hear and read that term being used! We should be ashamed.

RainaProske wrote: »

Reality, for those stay-at-home-parents, is that this is the most important job in the household.

A lot of people bend over backwards, trying to make parents who stay with the children feel better about their work. Where does that come from? Since when must we make silly attempts to appease them? Probably started in the mid-60s when women were shamed for not working outside the home, and it was unheard of for men to take care of their own children. Often, when men took care of their children, we called it "baby sitting." I still hear and read that term being used! We should be ashamed.

I find the opposite to be true. I regularly get derisive comments about being a SAHM.

mntnwmn477 wrote: »

Married here...for now. Ha! But really, let's get serious...we've been together for almost 11 years, married for 8 and have 2 kids (5 &7). I've been working on losing weight and becoming a healthier me since January, so far I've lost 42 pounds and about 25 inches all over. Awesome, right??! Well my hubby doesn't think so, or at least he never says anything to me about the changes I've made. I feel like a new, totally sexy woman and he refuses to comment on any of it! WTH?! He also doesn't want to work on himself....he's 6'3" and probably pushing 300 pounds! A big guy right? And he has noooo desire to change anything about his eating habits or to start exercising. I feel like I'm completely alone in this. And now that I'm feeling better than ever and looking hotter than I ever have, I'm not even sure I'm attracted to him now....have any of you dealt with this feeling? Like I almost feel too good for him, as if he didn't deserve me....seems selfish, but is it really? Especially if he's not giving me attention and complimenting me and encouraging me along this journey? And he's not working on improving himself any....if anything I'd say he's on a downward spiral. I just don't know what to do anymore. I thought becoming a sexier, healthier me would help our relationship but I see that it's completely driven us apart.....

First...congratulations on your great progress!!! I'm sorry to know you are going thru this. I haven't made accolades even close to what you have, but I have the same issue with lack of support from the hubz. Only my hubz is one of those naturally smaller framed people so he struggles to gain weight. (Go figure!)

Nevertheless, I have also been contemplating how this lack of support is affecting me. It makes you look at that person differently, right? But I wonder if your hubz behavior is due to a sense of insecurity. Do you think that maybe he thinks your changes mean you aren't happy with him? Or that you want to leave him? Although I doubt you've said it to him, oftentimes when change occurs the other half becomes self-conscious because their spouse is "leaving them behind."

His behavior now may make you look at him differently, but what was he like before? Did he compliment you then? And did you have a problem with his weight before? While I believe he should support you 100%... if you love him try looking at it from his side. Do you think there is anything that could push him into a healthier lifestyle? If he doesnt support and appreciate your journey (which helps you AND them), then it isn't being selfish. But the optimist in me hopes that he will realize what this means for both of you and your relationship.

I think change is harder on some than others, but I hope for both of us there are ways around it. Maybe the old fashioned sit down talk? Maybe a little distance? Maybe change his meals (assuming you do some cooking), so that he sees some change in his weight that inspites him and opens his eyes?

Clearly, I have no answers. Hopefully, you have something do think about. Good luck in your venture. Maybe another guy can give us some insight!