married chit-chatters?

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  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
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    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    Major in laws drama. Pro-black lives matter folks versus pro-cop on Facebook.

    They are not mutually exclusive.
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
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    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    The reason I work long hours is that sometimes I hate going home in the immediate after-days of one of those fights :'(

    She acts like everything is back to normal after truce has been called.

    I hate when people do this, not because I can't 'let it go', but don't also downplay the fact that you were a total c*nt and sweep things under the rug.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Guns_N_Buns wrote: »
    Also, I've never been a 'tantrum fighter'. I can lose my temper and yell, but I've always worked hard for my things and don't break anything. I remember in my younger years a guy I was dating became a lunatic and grabbed my purse by the handles and chucked it across the room; it smashed into the wall and the leather straps came OFF my Louis Vuitton Papillon bag! I learned an important lesson that day. Don't buy expensive hand bags in conjunction with dating psychos and I'm not materialistic, but I will dump you for breaking my *kitten* over the principle of the matter.

    Speaking of which....that's probably not the right chandelier for a glass breaker... :D

    I was thinking that about the chandelier. Yeah, breaking things is like almost violence. I mean. It's not ok to damage stuff. Maybe it is violence in a way. Like one step away. My husband has only ever lost his temper about two times. Over really weird stuff. Just under stress. One time he didn't believe me that I knew what over-the-counter lotion thing I needed and we were parked at the store. He fought me on it and wouldn't let me go in and yelled at me. At home I was able to prove to him that I knew what I was talking about and he was mistaken. He apologized. I was dealing with difficult health problems (medical injury) and he was preparing for an unexpected presentation he had to travel for. And around that same time I asked him to buy one steak. To see if I could handle eating it. The medical injury caused me to have histamine reactions to food. And for some reason he bought like 15 steaks. And I said something like, "Why did you buy 15? I said buy one." Then he threw the steaks on the counter and stormed out of the house. We laughed about it a week later. But, that was our big family drama moment. It was a very weird time. We were under weird stress.
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
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    MsAmandaNJ wrote: »
    jasamjak wrote: »
    Do any of you not get the support from the better half and find yourself this MFP is the place to get the support?
    I wouldn't say what I get from him is support, it's more enthusiasm that I'm doing something that makes me happy. He has no interest in getting fit, but doesn't knock me for doing it myself. I'm sure talking about it bores him, so I try to limit the exercise talk. MFP is a nice place for me to be able to talk about an aspect of my life others have no interest in.

    Don't talk to him about fitness. Talk to him about health. There are so many unhealthy people who could've avoided heart attack, stroke, diabetes, or hypertension, just by making a few small changes in their lifestyle.
  • joannajohnson295
    joannajohnson295 Posts: 27 Member
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    Kimberly_Phillips wrote: »
    Married for 16 years...3 beautiful children but not so happy. Ready for a change...

    Hi kimberley, that is a familiar notion. Married for 14yr together for 18....need a change too
  • tmjnd0
    tmjnd0 Posts: 52 Member
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    Hey y'all
  • nukephysics
    nukephysics Posts: 406 Member
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    How you doin'?
  • niblue
    niblue Posts: 339 Member
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    BinaryPulsar wrote: »
    My husband has only ever lost his temper about two times

    I'm always nice to my wife and that's not just because she (being army) has access to firearms and I don't...

  • Lonestar5715
    Lonestar5715 Posts: 466 Member
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    KinkJarfld wrote: »
    RainaProske wrote: »
    Love it -- you people who have been married forever. You are great examples for the rest of us. (We two just celebrated our 29th anniversary. I can hardly believe it has been this long -- doesn't seem like it.

    Longevity has to do with trust. Wifey and I trust one another explicitly. That is a very comforting feeling.

    I respect your opinion but I believe there is more to longevity in a marriage than simply trust. Trust certainly needs to be there but I don't feel it is the only component for longevity.
  • Lonestar5715
    Lonestar5715 Posts: 466 Member
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    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    I flipped out at my wife because she freaked out at my re-arranging some unpacked boxes in the house.... I was moving them to the basement actually... Big escalation followed and ended with broken glasses in the kitchen.

    She went back up, and has withdrawn. I cleaned up the floor and I feel like *kitten*. My wife has a temper and so do I. Days like this I wish I never met her.

    Thanks for sharing, you are very transparent on the thread here.

    I would have a very difficult time handling a relationship where my spouse broke items or cut my favorite tie in half. To me that is one tiny step removed from physical abuse. I give you credit for hanging in there and trying to resolve the issue.
  • _sacar
    _sacar Posts: 80 Member
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    Lonestar5715 wrote: »
    KinkJarfld wrote: »
    RainaProske wrote: »
    Love it -- you people who have been married forever. You are great examples for the rest of us. (We two just celebrated our 29th anniversary. I can hardly believe it has been this long -- doesn't seem like it.

    Longevity has to do with trust. Wifey and I trust one another explicitly. That is a very comforting feeling.

    I respect your opinion but I believe there is more to longevity in a marriage than simply trust. Trust certainly needs to be there but I don't feel it is the only component for longevity.

    I'm a newlywed compared to some (3 years in Nov), but communication and warmth is a big part of it too! Not just that, but any or all of these things may falter from time to time over the course of a lifetime (that's a lot of years!), but remaining committed will see you through.

    Just my newbie point of view though.

  • Lonestar5715
    Lonestar5715 Posts: 466 Member
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    _sacar wrote: »
    Lonestar5715 wrote: »
    KinkJarfld wrote: »
    RainaProske wrote: »
    Love it -- you people who have been married forever. You are great examples for the rest of us. (We two just celebrated our 29th anniversary. I can hardly believe it has been this long -- doesn't seem like it.

    Longevity has to do with trust. Wifey and I trust one another explicitly. That is a very comforting feeling.

    I respect your opinion but I believe there is more to longevity in a marriage than simply trust. Trust certainly needs to be there but I don't feel it is the only component for longevity.

    I'm a newlywed compared to some (3 years in Nov), but communication and warmth is a big part of it too! Not just that, but any or all of these things may falter from time to time over the course of a lifetime (that's a lot of years!), but remaining committed will see you through.

    Just my newbie point of view though.

    I believe another hugely important factor is the ability to truly forgive and forget. It is a given that two people are going to get on each other's nerves occasionally.

    If you don't release those "hurts" or accept the other person's differences than eventually the weight of carrying them and/or "keeping score" becomes insurmountable over decades of marriage and either breeds a toxic environment or the marriage crumbles. Just my $.02
  • nukephysics
    nukephysics Posts: 406 Member
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    Lonestar5715 wrote: »
    _sacar wrote: »
    Lonestar5715 wrote: »
    KinkJarfld wrote: »
    RainaProske wrote: »
    Love it -- you people who have been married forever. You are great examples for the rest of us. (We two just celebrated our 29th anniversary. I can hardly believe it has been this long -- doesn't seem like it.

    Longevity has to do with trust. Wifey and I trust one another explicitly. That is a very comforting feeling.

    I respect your opinion but I believe there is more to longevity in a marriage than simply trust. Trust certainly needs to be there but I don't feel it is the only component for longevity.

    I'm a newlywed compared to some (3 years in Nov), but communication and warmth is a big part of it too! Not just that, but any or all of these things may falter from time to time over the course of a lifetime (that's a lot of years!), but remaining committed will see you through.

    Just my newbie point of view though.

    I believe another hugely important factor is the ability to truly forgive and forget. It is a given that two people are going to get on each other's nerves occasionally.

    If you don't release those "hurts" or accept the other person's differences than eventually the weight of carrying them and/or "keeping score" becomes insurmountable over decades of marriage and either breeds a toxic environment or the marriage crumbles. Just my $.02

    Forgiveness is key. If you truly love and want to ensure a happy, healthy marriage, then you must forgive. Also, you cannot continue to relive the past, and once you forgive you can't bring it back up.
  • RunRachelleRun
    RunRachelleRun Posts: 1,854 Member
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    Agreed. As long as he is the one doing most of the forgiving >:) jk I think that is true. I get over things fast and so does my husband. I am sure that is a big part of how we've had a great marriage for 20 years.

    Cutaway, I did throw a book at my husband once. But I was eight months pregnant. I blame hormones. I still feel bad about it and remember how I felt outside of myself, watching the misbehaviour and unable to stop it. I did feel it was abuse, even though I missed and hit the wall the wall. (Softcovers have a mind of their own.) It was violence.

    My teenager went through a phase like that, and I could see he just wasn't in control. My strategy was to not engage. I told him I could see he was very passionate about what he was feeling and I would be happy to listen to all he had to say when he had calmed down and could tell me in a soft voice. I tried to stay as objective as possible, pretending I was a cop or doctor dealing with a crazy person. He didn't get a reaction so he gradually changed his strategy. Now he almost never loses his cool and he never slams doors or punches things. Not sure if that would work in your situation as she's not your child. Hugs!
  • Lonestar5715
    Lonestar5715 Posts: 466 Member
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    RunRachelleRun wrote: »
    My teenager went through a phase like that, and I could see he just wasn't in control. My strategy was to not engage. I told him I could see he was very passionate about what he was feeling and I would be happy to listen to all he had to say when he had calmed down and could tell me in a soft voice. I tried to stay as objective as possible, pretending I was a cop or doctor dealing with a crazy person. He didn't get a reaction so he gradually changed his strategy. Now he almost never loses his cool and he never slams doors or punches things. Not sure if that would work in your situation as she's not your child. Hugs!

    Wow, what a cool and effective way to deal with your son. I love that and appreciate you sharing it.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Very true about being forgiving.
  • cuckoo_jenibeth
    cuckoo_jenibeth Posts: 1,434 Member
    edited July 2016
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    Gareth6484 wrote: »
    Hey, Married from England. How is everyone doing on the fitness side of things? Meeting your goals?

    Married here, too! One of those long, Hollywood back-story kind of things! :) First started dating when I was 15 & he was 16(almost 30 years ago, gulp!), so a lot of history!
    I made goal (weight wise) about 1 year ago. Continue to work on fitness goals. MFP keeps me accountable & motivated!
  • WildEssenceXO
    WildEssenceXO Posts: 64 Member
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    I'm married and a flirt with both men and women. Sorry not sorry! lol

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