married chit-chatters?

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  • MTgal477
    MTgal477 Posts: 829 Member
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    In response to your reply @mskessler89
    -"She's always too busy working out to relax and watch TV with me." We tend to talk like TV is a waste, but a lot of people consider it quality time because you're there together, it gives you a conversation topic, maybe you snuggle. You're no longer doing this activity with him, you're leaving him alone.-
    1st, it's not quality time if I don't have any interest in what he's watching. Basically I feel like I'm just sitting there wasting time, when I could be working out.....and we don't snuggle, rarely ever have.

    -"She finds me so gross that she nags me about my food and wants to force me to exercise." By bothering him about changing, you're telling him he's not good enough/worthy of your love as he is. That's got to feel pretty bad, and it might lead to him comforting himself with food.-
    2nd, I have told him time and time again how I'm attracted to him. I love your beard, your butt is so sexy, you're such a good father, etc....so no, up until lately, I've never found him "gross", and not that I do now, I'm just not sure of how I feel.

    And it's not like I go to the gym for hours....he won't let me get a membership. Plus, I couldn't fit it into my schedule even if I wanted to. With a full time job, 2 young kids and being the one who cooks, cleans, etc., my "gym" is the hour or so I get downstairs in our basement.
  • cross2bear
    cross2bear Posts: 1,106 Member
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    Ok seems like you have an answer for every suggestion - time to kick his butt to the curb.
  • kevinf2380
    kevinf2380 Posts: 256 Member
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    I don't think there's anything wrong with mtnwmn477 thinking about her own happiness. Especially if her spouse isn't. It's easy to say you need to work on the relationship or leave if you're not in it. People seem to forget most of the time when things have gotten to this point you've had MANY conversations and tried different avenues. Usually the situation becomes cyclical. You make things better only for them to go back to $#it again. You get tired of trying because you've seen the same result over and over. It's almost worse to be in a relationship and feel alone than being single. You should be able to confide in your spouse with all of your concerns and feelings. It's devastating when they act like those things don't matter. You can only take that for so long.

    If you do decide to cheat you have to come to terms with that and realize you're not a wife now. You're now a woman that cheats on her husband. I don't know if most can live with that.
  • MTgal477
    MTgal477 Posts: 829 Member
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    Thanks for all your input.....guess I'm a lost cause! LOL
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    cross2bear wrote: »
    Ok seems like you have an answer for every suggestion.

    Sometimes people post until they get the answer they need and want.

    She's good looking, has a great body, and will find someone. That's for sure.

  • MTgal477
    MTgal477 Posts: 829 Member
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    kevinf2380 wrote: »
    I don't think there's anything wrong with mtnwmn477 thinking about her own happiness. Especially if her spouse isn't. It's easy to say you need to work on the relationship or leave if you're not in it. People seem to forget most of the time when things have gotten to this point you've had MANY conversations and tried different avenues. Usually the situation becomes cyclical. You make things better only for them to go back to $#it again. You get tired of trying because you've seen the same result over and over. It's almost worse to be in a relationship and feel alone than being single. You should be able to confide in your spouse with all of your concerns and feelings. It's devastating when they act like those things don't matter. You can only take that for so long.

    Exactly this! Thank you! It sounds exactly what I've been going through. And completely agree about your statement: It's almost worse to be in a relationship and feel alone than being single.
  • MTgal477
    MTgal477 Posts: 829 Member
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    ^^^^^Exactly this! Thank you! It sounds exactly what I've been going through. And completely agree about your statement: It's almost worse to be in a relationship and feel alone than being single.
  • cross2bear
    cross2bear Posts: 1,106 Member
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    Timshel_ wrote: »
    cross2bear wrote: »
    Ok seems like you have an answer for every suggestion.

    Sometimes people post until they get the answer they need and want.

    She's good looking, has a great body, and will find someone. That's for sure.

    You are absolutely right about that - so I gave her an answer - lets see if thats what she REALLY wanted to hear. If not, then I guess she keeps looking.............
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    It's true that if any of us give any "advice" it's all just hypothetical. And we don't know what's best for anyone in their own circumstances. Only they know, and maybe they don't even know (yet). And I understand it's not easy. Sorry to those of you that are struggling with the serious issues. :heart:
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
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    kevinf2380 wrote: »
    I don't think there's anything wrong with mtnwmn477 thinking about her own happiness. Especially if her spouse isn't. It's easy to say you need to work on the relationship or leave if you're not in it. People seem to forget most of the time when things have gotten to this point you've had MANY conversations and tried different avenues. Usually the situation becomes cyclical. You make things better only for them to go back to $#it again. You get tired of trying because you've seen the same result over and over. It's almost worse to be in a relationship and feel alone than being single. You should be able to confide in your spouse with all of your concerns and feelings. It's devastating when they act like those things don't matter. You can only take that for so long.

    If you do decide to cheat you have to come to terms with that and realize you're not a wife now. You're now a woman that cheats on her husband. I don't know if most can live with that.

    I agree!
  • kevinf2380
    kevinf2380 Posts: 256 Member
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    mntnwmn477 wrote: »
    ^^^^^Exactly this! Thank you! It sounds exactly what I've been going through. And completely agree about your statement: It's almost worse to be in a relationship and feel alone than being single.

    I'm in the same boat. Some people just don't get it because they can't relate.
  • MFO3
    MFO3 Posts: 100 Member
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    Hello there everyone.
  • MTgal477
    MTgal477 Posts: 829 Member
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    So, what's for dinner tonight! Any family favorites?
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
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    Tacos! Because I missed the boat yesterday...
  • Lonestar5715
    Lonestar5715 Posts: 466 Member
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    Chicken with lemon sauce plus probably brown rice and a vegetable. Maybe watermelon for desert :)
  • serenityfrye
    serenityfrye Posts: 360 Member
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    Chicken a la king (or some version thereof) with brown rice and popsicles for dessert -best dessert ever when its 100+ outside
  • MTgal477
    MTgal477 Posts: 829 Member
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    Lonestar5715 wrote: »
    Chicken with lemon sauce plus probably brown rice and a vegetable. Maybe watermelon for desert :)

    That sounds good! Does your family like the lemon sauce? I don't know how my kids would react to that....
  • kevinf2380
    kevinf2380 Posts: 256 Member
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    I'm MTN biking tonight so I'll probably stop at Chipotle on the way home.

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