married chit-chatters?
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I spend a lot of time with my kids. I like to get away and do fun adult stuff. But, often before we go out, my husband will do something fun with the kids. And when possible we do stuff together as a family. And make time for each of us to occasionally have one on one time with each kid. Especially my 12 year old daughter likes time with me to talk or we both read a book to talk about (our own book club)0
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I'm with everyone and am glad there's a lot of support out there. I've just started this program again after moving and could use a few friends on my wall. Please feel free to add me. It really helps with motivation.
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Question for all the married people: How often do you and your spouse engage in separate interest? Do these interests conflict with each other?
We exist in the same house.....we dont share many common interests, lol.
We do make sure to be respectful of the other persons choices though...meaning we try to make sure we both get time to do what we want.0 -
Question for all the married people: How often do you and your spouse engage in separate interest? Do these interests conflict with each other?
I'm talking any interest that you guys don't do together. If your spouse gave you an ultimatum of you can't join a gym or I'll divorce you (for example purposes) how would you handle it?
Since I've been sick, he puts up with my being "down" a lot. I'm not happy about that at all.
Since we married 29 years ago, our interests have come together -- a lot. When we married, we both went to the same church, for example. I got kicked out, but I begged him not to let that sway him: that if he left, it would be his choice and not because of me. He stayed another 1.6 years, and I was fine with that, even initially attending with him at first. Now, we both attend my place of worship, and when I can -- like maybe twice a year -- I attend his. I am just now starting to get back out to my place of worship, and he has continued to attend there anyway.
He goes out walking/exercising alone. I encourage that. I am stuck in bed a lot, so I study.
My house cleaning is sporadic, so we both just keep things as clean as possible, and I do what I can. Today, for example, I did a little cleaning, scrubbed two toilets, made dinner, washed the dishes (using a dish washer) and propped up the tomato plants. For me, he did the shopping for the weekend, mailed my package and likely did other things of which I am not aware.
We are still planning on going camping together soon. If I have to stay in the RV a lot, well, so be it. But I'm hoping I will be better. Planning on that. Regardless, he will enjoy himself, even if I am in bed a lot.
However, regarding your next post, I would not take any "ultimatums'" from him. No Stinkin' Way! I am an adult; he is an adult. Ultimatums have no place in our relationship and should not be in ANY real adult relationship.0 -
King_Spicy wrote: »Married man in the building! Shout out to all the married people out there putting in work in the gym, so their significant other does not have to look at other guys and/or females.
No shame in just looking or complimenting. My wife and I point out attractive people all the time. lol
Your right because my wife and I do the samething. Lol!
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King_Spicy wrote: »Married man in the building! Shout out to all the married people out there putting in work in the gym, so their significant other does not have to look at other guys and/or females.
No shame in just looking or complimenting. My wife and I point out attractive people all the time. lol
Your right because my wife and I do the samething. Lol!
We do too. And we also go to those fetish dance parties (as I have mentioned). And definitely point people out there. So, we will sometimes dance with other people. And this involves a little sensual dancing and closeness and touching (just hands on waist, shoulders, chest). But, I don't let guys grind on me. I'm there to dance. Actually dance. Dancing is sexy on it's own. I am ok kissing and touching women, though (as long as they want to).0 -
So folks... question... has social media affected your marriage at all? If so, have you done anything about it?0
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DarlingNikki2011 wrote: »So folks... question... has social media affected your marriage at all? If so, have you done anything about it?
I tend to talk openly about sexual things, and don't find all aspects of it to be as personal as probably some other people do. Because it's such a big aspect of my personality it would seem odd to me to completely hide that. And I am ok with the occasional compliments or flirting or jokey flirting. But, nothing intense, frequent, detailed, or super personal. All of which I would find annoying. Some people definitely cross the line of my boundaries. And that did seem to expand my boundaries in ways I didn't expect. I became more open and talkative in general. But, I put a stop to people that cross my boundaries. But, it did initially catch me off guard. I was more innocent to online flirting than probably people realize because I have an open and experimental personality, so my initial reaction was to ask questions and understand people. I told my husband about it. I am open with him. I unfriend people when needed. I tell people to stop or what my boundaries are. And some people just immediately stop once they know that my boundaries conflict with what they want.
And I keep things interesting in our sex life and go to the fetish parties to get to do some real life flirting with each other, and with others (with him there to stop anyone that tries to go past my boundaries). So, online flirting doesn't hold a huge appeal and I don't particularly like it. I have a high sex drive personality type, so I make sure to keep that fulfilled in my real life and be open with my husband. It can increase at times, and then drop to a normal level. So, I have become aware of that about myself. My husband hasn't had any social media sexual things happen.1 -
Hi happily married no kids1
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aftonthecruiser wrote: »Hi happily married no kids
Welcome0 -
@BinaryPulsar Can you elaborate on what a fetish dance party is? Do you mean themed or they actually revolve around a fetish?0
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kevinf2380 wrote: »@BinaryPulsar Can you elaborate on what a fetish dance party is? Do you mean themed or they actually revolve around a fetish?
Sure. Each party usually has a different theme. You can dress according to the theme. But, you don't have to. There is always a "fetish dress code" though, that you do have to meet with your clothing or you won't get in (even if you bought tickets). You have to dress sexy, fetishy in some way. Some examples: Lingerie, latex, straps, topless, pasties, stockings, net or mesh clothing, sexy shoes, body paint, corset, red or bright colors, electrical tape, sexy costume, cat ears. You can't just show up in plain underwear. Mainly it's just a dance party. There is also rope suspension for people that want to. No full nudity allowed (you have to at least be wearing a thong) and no sex allowed at these parties that I attend (there are other sex parties, but I don't go). Some amount of light bdsm play is allowed (like spanking). It's a nightclub/bar setting. Themes are: sometimes color based like red, black and white. Dress like animals (cat ears or bunny ears for example) or in animal prints, circus, medical (dress like a nurse for example), uniform, fire and ice, fantasy, corsets, gay pride, latex (you have to wear rubber of some kind to go to this). And there are two performers at each event that will put on a short show (dancing usually) twice during the night. Sometimes latex fashion shows also. They happen once a month.0 -
BinaryPulsar wrote: »kevinf2380 wrote: »@BinaryPulsar Can you elaborate on what a fetish dance party is? Do you mean themed or they actually revolve around a fetish?
Sure. Each party usually has a different theme. You can dress according to the theme. But, you don't have to. There is always a "fetish dress code" though, that you do have to meet with your clothing or you won't get in (even if you bought tickets). You have to dress sexy, fetishy in some way. Some examples: Lingerie, latex, straps, topless, pasties, stockings, net or mesh clothing, sexy shoes, body paint, corset, red or bright colors, electrical tape, sexy costume, cat ears. You can't just show up in plain underwear. Mainly it's just a dance party. There is also rope suspension for people that want to. No full nudity allowed (you have to at least be wearing a thong) and no sex allowed at these parties that I attend (there are other sex parties, but I don't go). Some amount of light bdsm play is allowed (like spanking). It's a nightclub/bar setting. Themes are: sometimes color based like red, black and white. Dress like animals (cat ears or bunny ears for example) or in animal prints, circus, medical (dress like a nurse for example), uniform, fire and ice, fantasy, corsets, gay pride, latex (you have to wear rubber of some kind to go to this). And there are two performers at each event that will put on a short show (dancing usually) twice during the night. Sometimes latex fashion shows also. They happen once a month.
That sounds like a typical Tuesday night at our house.
*shrug
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M single but would love to hangout chitchat with a married lady? anyone out der?0
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Motorsheen wrote: »BinaryPulsar wrote: »kevinf2380 wrote: »@BinaryPulsar Can you elaborate on what a fetish dance party is? Do you mean themed or they actually revolve around a fetish?
Sure. Each party usually has a different theme. You can dress according to the theme. But, you don't have to. There is always a "fetish dress code" though, that you do have to meet with your clothing or you won't get in (even if you bought tickets). You have to dress sexy, fetishy in some way. Some examples: Lingerie, latex, straps, topless, pasties, stockings, net or mesh clothing, sexy shoes, body paint, corset, red or bright colors, electrical tape, sexy costume, cat ears. You can't just show up in plain underwear. Mainly it's just a dance party. There is also rope suspension for people that want to. No full nudity allowed (you have to at least be wearing a thong) and no sex allowed at these parties that I attend (there are other sex parties, but I don't go). Some amount of light bdsm play is allowed (like spanking). It's a nightclub/bar setting. Themes are: sometimes color based like red, black and white. Dress like animals (cat ears or bunny ears for example) or in animal prints, circus, medical (dress like a nurse for example), uniform, fire and ice, fantasy, corsets, gay pride, latex (you have to wear rubber of some kind to go to this). And there are two performers at each event that will put on a short show (dancing usually) twice during the night. Sometimes latex fashion shows also. They happen once a month.
That sounds like a typical Tuesday night at our house.
*shrug
Yes, but it's a different dynamic with the crowd, music, public sexy dancing and play, and the shows. As much as I enjoy our time at home. I like the public, community, party, social, and dancing element very much. Plus getting away from the kids.0 -
My husband is going away today and he made a list of things he needs to do. And it was funny. It said stuff like: wake up, eat food, take out trash, call cab, go to nut house, wear plane clothes... I was cracking up and had to ask why it said to go to nut house. It was an abbreviation for Nutrition House (he is getting me something from there).1
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Krishna000 wrote: »M single but would love to hangout chitchat with a married lady? anyone out der?
Hello. I am a very married lady.0 -
KinkJarfld wrote: »I was newly married (married for 35 years now) when Wifey asked why I didn't eat breakfast and only drank coffee. Like what, I asked? Oh, she said, like Cream of Wheat. Yuck, says I, it looks like albino diarrhea. That's when I found out Wifey had a very, very low gag reflex threshold.
Rimshot!
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Krishna000 wrote: »M single but would love to hangout chitchat with a married lady? anyone out der?
May I ask why?0 -
Hehheh @provencal73 0
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Any good subject to talk here ?1
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DarlingNikki2011 wrote: »So folks... question... has social media affected your marriage at all? If so, have you done anything about it?
Very interesting question. I think I can say yes but it is in a very indirect way.
A few years ago I discovered through my companies Wellness program that I had gained about 30 lbs. Up to then I thought gaining weight was inevitable with middle-age and overall health decline etc. You could say I had resigned myself to becoming unhealthy.
A Wellness speaker mentioned mfp as a tool to count calories so I decided to give it a shot. Once I realized the power of logging calories I was surprised I had not gained more. Long story short, I reached my goal and began regularly exercising which made me feel better than I had in decades.
A surprising by-product of my losing weight was gaining confidence in who I was and I began to realize I had allowed myself to be treated in an unhealthy way in my marriage.
Over the next couple of years I gradually addressed it with my wife and we attended counseling and made intentional efforts to reach a better place but I realized it was my wife's nature to treat people that way. That led to a decision to separate for 6 months with the idea that doing so would either improve our relationship or not.
6 weeks after I moved, I receive papers from an attorney my wife had retained and my answer became evident.
With all that being said, the only influence social media had on me was the support of my mfp friends as I lost weight but I even left here for over a year in order to focus on the immediate need in my marriage. I'm not sure what the outcome would have been without mfp but nothing that has happened since has caused me any regret.3 -
BinaryPulsar wrote: »Each party usually has a different theme. You can dress according to the theme. But, you don't have to. There is always a "fetish dress code" though, ... two performers at each event that will put on a short show (dancing usually) twice during the night. Sometimes latex fashion shows also. They happen once a month.
Is this just a Canada thing?
I'm in suburbs Boston, and have never heard of such a thing.
Key word is probably "suburbs", so I must be out of the loop.0 -
BinaryPulsar wrote: »Each party usually has a different theme. You can dress according to the theme. But, you don't have to. There is always a "fetish dress code" though, ... two performers at each event that will put on a short show (dancing usually) twice during the night. Sometimes latex fashion shows also. They happen once a month.
Is this just a Canada thing?
I'm in suburbs Boston, and have never heard of such a thing.
Key word is probably "suburbs", so I must be out of the loop.
I'm originally from Boston suburbs also. This is definitely a city thing. But, not just a Canadian thing. I don't know for certain, but I think they might have events like this in Boston. Where I live just happens to have an abundance of these events. There are so many I don't go to. I have such a variety to choose from. I know there is a big one in Florida called Fetish Factory. And in San Francisco. I think in LA also. And Seattle. And many places. But, it's the dance party element that really makes it great and accessible to anyone. There are parties that are kink play parties, sex parties, swinger parties, bdsm play parties. I personally would have no interest in attending a party that was just sex, bdsm, and talking. I like the fun dance club event. You can find resources, events, groups on fetlife. Or by doing searches for events that are fetish, kink, kinky, bdsm, play, or even burlesque. Sometimes they have events at private clubs and those will have sex on premise (sop). I go to the fetish nights which are more about the outfits, music, dancing, and light play (no sex), and some shows. The parties are very lgbt friendly, and there will be a lot of bisexuality. And you can be single, open relationship, or monogamous relationship, etc. And you could definitely wear that sequin bikini!1 -
Today is my second year anniversary being married to my wife and next month will be 10 years I have been in a relationship.10
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BinaryPulsar wrote: »Each party usually has a different theme. You can dress according to the theme. But, you don't have to. There is always a "fetish dress code" though, ... two performers at each event that will put on a short show (dancing usually) twice during the night. Sometimes latex fashion shows also. They happen once a month.
Is this just a Canada thing?
I'm in suburbs Boston, and have never heard of such a thing.
Key word is probably "suburbs", so I must be out of the loop.
In all seriousness, I think you might have to check out the personals section of Craigslist to find out where some of them are.0 -
Redbeard333 wrote: »BinaryPulsar wrote: »Each party usually has a different theme. You can dress according to the theme. But, you don't have to. There is always a "fetish dress code" though, ... two performers at each event that will put on a short show (dancing usually) twice during the night. Sometimes latex fashion shows also. They happen once a month.
Is this just a Canada thing?
I'm in suburbs Boston, and have never heard of such a thing.
Key word is probably "suburbs", so I must be out of the loop.
In all seriousness, I think you might have to check out the personals section of Craigslist to find out where some of them are.
I don't know about Craig's list. Not so sure I would trust Craig's list. A simple internet search or fetlife is better. And personals are for meeting people. These are dance parties held at dance clubs. I found it from an internet search. And in that search I found fetish mailing lists. There are articles written about the parties in mainstream event reviews. And Info through the host. And info through the clubs they are held at. There are flyers put up around the city. And Facebook pages and groups.1 -
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