Who pays?

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  • saragd012
    saragd012 Posts: 693 Member
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    For me it very much depends on how well the date is going. I go expecting to pay for my portion, if I really enjoyed the date I would either offer to pay for both or accept their offer to pay both with an "ok, but I get the next one" (to make it clear I am interested in a next date). If I know there wont be another date I will insist on paying my half and politely go my own way.
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,834 Member
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    wolverine66 wrote: »
    AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    selina884 wrote: »
    If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.

    Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.

    I think a lot of women wouldn't ask a guy out. So is "whoever initiates" secret code for "he pays?" Because most of the time, he is expected to initiate?

    I've never initiated a first date :o

    yeah. i think i'm on to something here....

    But in the age of internet dating, it makes first dates a little different. Back in the day I'm out somewhere and meet a guy and he calls me and asks me on a date then there's no way I'd ever offer to pay. But if it's a blind date kinda thing I usually go into it expecting that I might be paying for myself.

    If I'm not interested in a guy at all - like, at all - then I'd insist on paying because I don't want him thinking that I owe him anything.
  • rps67
    rps67 Posts: 163 Member
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    I'd pick up the tab on a date, no problem, just like I pick up the lunch tab for friends from time to time. I like doing nice things for other people.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    selina884 wrote: »
    If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.

    Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.

    I think a lot of women wouldn't ask a guy out. So is "whoever initiates" secret code for "he pays?" Because most of the time, he is expected to initiate?

    I've never initiated a first date :o

    yeah. i think i'm on to something here....

    But in the age of internet dating, it makes first dates a little different. Back in the day I'm out somewhere and meet a guy and he calls me and asks me on a date then there's no way I'd ever offer to pay. But if it's a blind date kinda thing I usually go into it expecting that I might be paying for myself.

    If I'm not interested in a guy at all - like, at all - then I'd insist on paying because I don't want him thinking that I owe him anything.

    I dated in the age of Internet dating, thankfully. I'm sure it can be all sorts of confusing for both parties. Like I said before, there are people who get offended if you want to pay and there are people who get offended if you want to go Dutch. And a myriad in between.

    And, seriously, screw anyone who thinks buying a steak entitles him to anything sexual.

  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
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    I wouldn't go to a restaurant on a first date. I would plan a picnic deep in the woods, where nobody is so we can be alone. I would also probably bring my knife collection, because I think it would make a good ice breaker.... oh wait.... :)
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,834 Member
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    cee134 wrote: »
    I wouldn't go to a restaurant on a first date. I would plan a picnic deep in the woods, where nobody is so we can be alone. I would also probably bring my knife collection, because I think it would make a good ice breaker.... oh wait.... :)

    @cee134 don't forget the shovel...
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
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    wolverine66 wrote: »
    AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    selina884 wrote: »
    If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.

    Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.

    I think a lot of women wouldn't ask a guy out. So is "whoever initiates" secret code for "he pays?" Because most of the time, he is expected to initiate?

    I've never initiated a first date :o

    yeah. i think i'm on to something here....

    I have, more than once. One of them I am married to. FWIW, I also proposed to him. He is the most amazing loving, kindest, supportive and smartest man I could have wished for. He just sometimes has trouble making decisions and being forward. So that role is mine :smiley:
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    dutchandkiwi wrote: »
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    selina884 wrote: »
    If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.

    Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.

    I think a lot of women wouldn't ask a guy out. So is "whoever initiates" secret code for "he pays?" Because most of the time, he is expected to initiate?

    I've never initiated a first date :o

    yeah. i think i'm on to something here....

    I have, more than once. One of them I am married to. FWIW, I also proposed to him. He is the most amazing loving, kindest, supportive and smartest man I could have wished for. He just sometimes has trouble making decisions and being forward. So that role is mine :smiley:

    you (and others) are the reason I didn't say "all." Nice going. I am happy things worked out for you. :)
  • RachelElser
    RachelElser Posts: 427 Member
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    Whoever did the inviting.
  • rebel_26
    rebel_26 Posts: 1,826 Member
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    AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    selina884 wrote: »
    If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.

    Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.

    I think a lot of women wouldn't ask a guy out. So is "whoever initiates" secret code for "he pays?" Because most of the time, he is expected to initiate?

    I've never initiated a first date :o

    yeah. i think i'm on to something here....

    But in the age of internet dating, it makes first dates a little different. Back in the day I'm out somewhere and meet a guy and he calls me and asks me on a date then there's no way I'd ever offer to pay. But if it's a blind date kinda thing I usually go into it expecting that I might be paying for myself.

    If I'm not interested in a guy at all - like, at all - then I'd insist on paying because I don't want him thinking that I owe him anything.
    You're in nj . You just call
    Someone to kick his butt if he expects something because he paid for a Meal. I was in OC for 8 days we shoulda got dinner lol.
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,834 Member
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    rebel_26 wrote: »
    AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    selina884 wrote: »
    If a guy doesnt earn alot, he shouldnt be stripped off his right from going on a date or entering a relationship.

    Anyhow, that's what I would like. I earn my own living and always have, but I wouldn't be keen on paying my own way on a date. Unless I was the one who asked the guy out on the date, which I wouldn't do anyway.

    I think a lot of women wouldn't ask a guy out. So is "whoever initiates" secret code for "he pays?" Because most of the time, he is expected to initiate?

    I've never initiated a first date :o

    yeah. i think i'm on to something here....

    But in the age of internet dating, it makes first dates a little different. Back in the day I'm out somewhere and meet a guy and he calls me and asks me on a date then there's no way I'd ever offer to pay. But if it's a blind date kinda thing I usually go into it expecting that I might be paying for myself.

    If I'm not interested in a guy at all - like, at all - then I'd insist on paying because I don't want him thinking that I owe him anything.
    You're in nj . You just call
    Someone to kick his butt if he expects something because he paid for a Meal. I was in OC for 8 days we shoulda got dinner lol.

    OC is 3 hours away from me lololol
  • rebel_26
    rebel_26 Posts: 1,826 Member
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    Nay sayer lol
  • NorthCascades
    NorthCascades Posts: 10,970 Member
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    wolverine66 wrote: »
    And, seriously, screw anyone who thinks buying a steak entitles him to anything sexual.

    This sounds like good advice, but who do vegetarians get to screw? :wink:
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    NorthCascades wrote: »
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    And, seriously, screw anyone who thinks buying a steak entitles him to anything sexual.

    This sounds like good advice, but who do vegetarians get to screw? :wink:

    hmm. yeah. that was really poor phrasing on my part.

    therefore, i volunteer myself, because that's the kind of guy i am.
  • stylistchicky
    stylistchicky Posts: 561 Member
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    Louise1491 wrote: »
    I think it's wrong to expect a man to pay, you want all the equal rights, be prepared to live by it, otherwise get in that kitchen and make him a Damn sammich.

    OP I recommend you perhaps eat light or not atall if you feel he's the insistent type.

    Not all women believe in the 3rd wave feminism cancer. I know some of these women who legit believe the man should pay because he makes more money, has to pay less for the same products...you know all the buzz word stuff.
    They also believe women should be exempt from the draft. So they don't actually believe in equal rights.

    I think the man should pay. Believe it or not it says a lot about him... My love language is not gifts...so its not about that. I just want a gentleman/a real man who isn't cheap AF.

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