Do you really only have one "soulmate"?

I don't believe in soulmates. The older I get, the more I find the idea manipulative. One person trying to get the other not to leave them because "we belong together" rather than "we can work through this". I think it also gives people who believe it unrealistic expectations of how much work they may have to put into their relationship (i.e., soulmates = easy). Personally, I'd rather be chosen than fated.

BTW I'm also happily married.

I used to think so, but not anymore.

One at a time, yes . Seriously, though, I'm a tech geek so am going to take a shot at figuring this out

I think that there is more than one person out there who can make each of us happy. Let's say it's 1 in 1,000.

However, for that person, there's also someone to make them happy and the odds are also 1 in 1,000 that it's you! The odds that both of you are that person for each other increases the chances to 1 in 1,000,000. Assuming you're in the U.S. and want to stay here, there are 242 million adults. Let's say half of them are the sex you're attracted to (if you're bisexual you get to double this number), that means roughly 121 people could be your soulmate. Half of these people are already married so, unless you're willing to break up a marriage, that lowers the number of potential soul mates to 60. Now, let's be generous and say that your soul mate should be at least 18, but no more than 10 years older or younger than you. This lowers the numbers even more.

In short, each person has about 40 potential soul mates! If you're willing to go world-wide, however, then you could have several hundred.

I completely agree with you!

I agree with you. I don't believe in a literal soul mate. Just that it's a term used to describe an experience. Like sometimes my husband and I will be having an amazing conversation and we connect and understand each other so much, and getting so happy and excited. And my husband will say something like, "We are such soul mates. Whatever that means." And the thought/feeling is mutual.

wolverine66 wrote: »

newmeadow wrote: »

Use of the term soulmate = histrionic. I would love to know who invented this romance novelesque term and what agency, think tank or marketing outfit promulgated it into the culturally embedded embarrassment it's become.

It's something that dates back to Ancient Greece. A story presented that humans used to have 4 legs and 4 arms and both sets of genetalia. Zeus split them with lightening. And then individuals were in search of their "other half."

Of course this is hundreds of years B.C. So they had no idea how large the world actually was, so they probably thought that finding one's "soulmate" was something somewhat plausible.

Correct. It is Greek. It comes from Plato's Symposium. Socrates is telling the allegory of the whole person who was split in half. And it was almost more a punishment of the gods for being too happy.

finny11122 wrote: »

Yes it is possible to have a soulmate .
But you got to put the effort in to keep the romance alive .
When one person stops putting their best foot forward , things fall apart .
When one person , does not want to go for walks together , go on vacation together , go to the movies together , go to the pub together , etc etc etc it will fall apart .
If you like lying under the stars at night , walking the beach , going away on a camping weekend , having a bbq , do not enter a relationship or get married to someone that wants to sit around all day watching Dr Phil .
Like attracts like .
Makes no difference if they are the best piece of *kitten* you ever tapped , ye have nothing in common to begin with .
Marry like minded people . It will be alot easier and alot more fun .

Yes, I 100% agree with this.

No.


..... but I did once have a girl mail a pair of her underwear to me; does that count?