Do you really only have one "soulmate"?
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I'm very happily married and my answer to this is a resounding LOL no.
Most all relationships are out of comfort combined with convenience, and individuals with enough in common or that complement each other enough to put up with each other for as long as possible.
If I hadn't met my wife, I'd have found someone else that worked out or kept trying.1 -
I'll stick with timing.0
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No. Even the notion of love to me is just an abstract concept.1
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Nope, it's to discuss whether or not people are really just "meant" for one person in the world. The "soulmate" is just terminology used to describe that. I don't care that people believe if people have souls or not. I do believe that people change. I've seen some of the kindest people I've ever met, then possibly something tragic changes who they used to be and now they are callous and distant from being kind. Or sweet loving little kid, who's environment changes and they are no longer that sweet. "Souls" have nothing to do with that.GypsyFire65 wrote: »Oh Boy. If you don't believe that each person has a soul. Then I guess your Thread about "Soulmates" is just to debate your non belief in having a soul to begin with.
Nevermind then.
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I'm iffy on that. I think people can truly love their children more than they can love a spouse. It's not unheard of a spouse murdering another spouse for greed or to get out of a relationship. It's rarer for someone to murder their child for the same reason.KiwiLifter wrote: »No. Even the notion of love to me is just an abstract concept.
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I agree with others that God, spirituality, a soul, or any other religious concept isn't necessary for a deep connection with another person. I think one of the areas where religion can actually be quite damaging is in its interpretation of human behavior, desires, and needs. I think it's better to respect science generally and evidence-based psychology specifically in these areas of inquiry. We still have much to learn and it's better to look forward. I think it's possible to separate beliefs from scientific inquiry.1
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I'm iffy on that. I think people can truly love their children more than they can love a spouse. It's not unheard of a spouse murdering another spouse for greed or to get out of a relationship. It's rarer for someone to murder their child for the same reason.KiwiLifter wrote: »No. Even the notion of love to me is just an abstract concept.
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The tension between the need for group survival and our strong desire for individual survival is clear, but I think claims that altruism or love don't exist are clearly dispelled at the 101 level. There are far too many counter examples of parents, other family members, and soldiers in combat putting their lives at risk and going so far as to voluntarily sacrifice their lives. One has to start bending the definitions to extremes to make such claims.2 -
no... no... an no..... we are not made to be monogamous, but through traditions and religion have been constrained to the acceptable social norm.0
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People tend to forget that we're just another animal species on this planet. We're smarter by a land slide and well more advanced, but standard instincts are still that of many other animals. We protect our young and will still fight over territory and for our family/relatives, as well as close friends.mountman2012 wrote: »no... no... an no..... we are not made to be monogamous, but through traditions and religion have been constrained to the acceptable social norm.
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I'm iffy on that. I think people can truly love their children more than they can love a spouse. It's not unheard of a spouse murdering another spouse for greed or to get out of a relationship. It's rarer for someone to murder their child for the same reason.KiwiLifter wrote: »No. Even the notion of love to me is just an abstract concept.
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I think your children are part of you. They are part of your soul from the moment they are born. From a biological point of view, our purpose is to pass on our genes so the love you have for your children is very different than the love you have for another adult. That's a much more tenuous connection. Arguably the concept of a soul mate is purely there to make us pair up and have children.1 -
Except for the soul part, I agree. My daughter one time asked me "daddy why are we here?" And my direct answer was "so we can pass on our genes". There's a lot of fun stuff in between, but that's the main reason. She accepts that answer.Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »
I'm iffy on that. I think people can truly love their children more than they can love a spouse. It's not unheard of a spouse murdering another spouse for greed or to get out of a relationship. It's rarer for someone to murder their child for the same reason.KiwiLifter wrote: »No. Even the notion of love to me is just an abstract concept.
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I think your children are part of you. They are part of your soul from the moment they are born. From a biological point of view, our purpose is to pass on our genes so the love you have for your children is very different than the love you have for another adult. That's a much more tenuous connection.
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It seems to me that we may all be using different concepts of "soulmate." Some seem to be taking the word literally in a metaphysical sense, others in an instant bond/love at first sight sense, and still others view it as simply a very deep bond. I tend to go with that last one myself.
Huff Post viewpoint (I raised an eyebrow at number 2): http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3595992
Online dictionaries are hardly the last word, but this is one definition: "a person with whom one has a strong affinity, shared values and tastes, and often a romantic bond."
That's not exactly a soulful definition but I like it.
Semantics . . .
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I think more people define it as "your one and only" person you'll ever have a complete connection with.sunnybeaches105 wrote: »It seems to me that we may all be using different concepts of "soulmate." Some seem to be taking the word literally in a metaphysical sense, others in an instant bond/love at first sight sense, and still others view it as simply a very deep bond. I tend to go with that last one myself.
Huff Post viewpoint (I raised an eyebrow at number 2): http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3595992
Online dictionaries are hardly the last word, but this is one definition: "a person with whom one has a strong affinity, shared values and tastes, and often a romantic bond."
That's not exactly a soulful definition but I like it.
Semantics . . .
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My belief is that soulmates're able to apply, to various types of relationships & therefore we're able to have, more than 1. Such as: when 1 twin needs emergency surgery & the other feels a crippling pain, in the same area; of their own body or when someone's about to inform a mother, that their child's dead but the the mother already knew because they began feeling labor pains. Also some couples have lost their soulmate but were young enough, to still have needs; that their soulmate wasn't there to provide & thus found another soulmate and/or other couples for unselfish reasons, drifted apart but once again came together. I believe that it's possible, to have an instantaneous connection with someone; that otherwise'd have to be built, for instance: couples whom just happened to meet while grocery shopping, a week later; marry each other & have a marriage, that lasts.
I also believe that some people just get caught up, in a fairy tale wish. When I was on Eharmony (their suppose to find, you a compatible match), at 1st they sent me matches; that seemed plausible but it became obvious that they ran out of matches, for me but of course they didn't desire, to lose my business; so they sent me matches that weren't compatible. Therefore I suspect that some of their couples, might not be compatible but're suffering in a relationship because they desire to believe, in the process. The science itself, might be possible but not when it's mixed, with greed.2 -
Soulmate? Not sure what that means. Do I believe that there is only one person out there for anyone? Nope. I do, however, believe that when you find the right person it is unique. Maybe rare. It takes two people to make it work. Two people that are working together to achieve a partnership where both people benefit. Two people that recognize that both people are equally important in decisions and choices made. Two halves of a whole. I found such a person 3 decades ago and my life has never been better.7
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Historically marriage was not about love. It was about financial security, dynastic alliances and (mainly) to reassure men they were the father of their children and because women couldn't work and needed financial support.
Even now, people get married for a lot of reasons. Security, money (I'm sure Trump's wife didn't marry him for his looks) and because society expects us to couple up. Women especially are supposed to get married and have children within a certain window and if they don't are subject to a lot of societal judgement (recently I heard an unmarried 30-something woman referred to as an 'old maid'). Personally I would only marry someone I loved completely and who loved me back but it's naive to assume that everyone does it for that reason.3 -
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i don't think you have to be religious to believe there is a soul in a person. but that's neither here nor there.
i don't think there is one person out there for each person. with the amount of people in the world, that notion seems ridiculous. i do think that there are people who you will click with more than others. I mean, before I met my wife, I would have sworn that I loved a couple of women I dated, but the connection I have with her is so much deeper and being with her feels so much more right, that I'm not really sure about anyone prior to her.
But I also think that I could probably find that with someone else, somewhere in the world. But now I don't have to go searching for it.0 -
I see a lot of debate in the soul existence and how that may or may not guide us in to relationships.
No matter what your spiritual maturity or beliefs are, we are here to learn from one another, and to support each other. That's not always easy, look at the forums here. In fact, it's never easy to step outsiide ourselves and help others grow, particularly our significant others that we know too much about. "Soulmate" should not imply bliss without effort.
tl;dr
I have no doubt, that no matter your spiritual alliance, or lack there of, we are here for each other. It's that simple.
Carry on.2 -
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I love my husband as much as I love my children. But, only because he is worthy of that love. Plus our children are a part of both of us. I don't see how I would love them more than him. I love and care for my children. I want the best for them. They are growing into their own selves. And eventually will move on and form their own relationships (love and friendships). And I look forward to knowing them at every stage of their lives and being close at every stage. My husband is the person I want to do the funnest things with, talk about the deepest things, have the most intimate intimacy with, grow old with. But, of course, if circumstances were different... If anyone ever harmed my children, I would choose my children and not that person. The same would be said of anyone that harmed any child, though. I would never stay with someone that harmed a child. That's why it took so long for my husband to gain my full trust. I didn't go into it lightly. But, that was just what I needed. I met my husband when I was 18. My first thought was that I was going to marry him someday. But, I chose to be friends for two years until he had my full trust and I saw his respect and I learned what love is.1
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Probably we are partially shaped by all of our life experiences. Including relationships. Whether a partner. Or children. People in our lives bring out and cultivate aspects of ourselves and give freedom to choices we might make. I am happy with my husband and my life. But, I am sure people could have more than one potential partner/relationship. And if I had met someone else, and fell in love with that person before or instead of with my husband... they would be different and require something different in a partner. I would still be myself. But, I might have made different choices and cultivated different aspects of myself for our mutual harmony, happiness, compatibility, success. It's interesting to think about. In general I meet people and they seem attracted to me and we have a connection. I can imagine if I was single going on some dates. But, when I imagine us trying to make a marriage work I see many fights due to incompatibility at that level. Most of the strong connections I form now are with female friendships. And relating and talking and sharing and laughing and dancing together. Best friendships don't carry the same amount of intertwined lives as a relationship. And you can have these light hearted, but meaningful and fulfilling connections and relationships. I like having both in my life. Relationship and friendships.0
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I think that there are many people on this earth that one can be happy with...but I also believe that there is one person who can make us the absolute happiest, best version of ourselves. So I do believe in soulmates, but I also think that term that means a lot of things to a lot of people.
That being said I don't think it's only possible to be happy with your soulmate. I know I have found mine in my husband, but that doesn't diminish the other loves I have had in my life...because at that time in my life that person was the "love of my life". When I was 18, I loved my high school sweetheart as much as humanly possible, with all of my heart. Then when I was 21 I loved my college sweetheart as much as humanly possible, with all of my heart. And in all reality I would have had a perfectly lovely life, and have lived happily with either of them...but meeting my husband, and knowing what kind of love I can feel and have returned really showed me what a soulmate means.
Soulmate to me doesn't mean you are in lala land, huggy kissy (although that never hurts), everything is butterflies and unicorns all the time....to me it means that I value myself and my being more because of how my partner sees me. It means that I have constant love and support...that is never outweighed by the desire to be right or my own selfishness. To me it means a lot of things...and not all of them are romantic. The way I am with my husband is the most authentic form of myself...and that is what I think soulmate means.3 -
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I definitely liked the article. I don't believe in past lives. But, I do still have that feeling. I used to believe in it. So, life is certainly an interesting and unexplainable experience. I just don't try to explain the things which are unknown. And I enjoy this life with my husband. And I never want to be separated from him.0
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I believe in the concept of soulmate – two people completely in alignment with goals, dreams, etc., but this is a very short lived window on both parties. As people change in reaction to their environment and experiences their goals and dreams change. If you are with someone you need constant and continuous communication to ensure the needs and wants of both are met. If you don’t do this you dramatically increase chances of separation and divorce. Just as in all things – anything worth having is worth working for.0
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Out of topic but where do people get the idea of aliens? Where did the idea of them having a big round head with bulbous eyes and where did we get the idea/imagination of God, people with wings, spaceship etc it has to stem up from somewhere past lives maybe or maybe from the annunakis?
The idea for God makes sense that people attributed things they didn't understand to something magical and powerful that was both destructive and protective. Clouds, rain, lightening, etc. Bad things seen as punishment. Good as being saved. It's normal for children to think that way about parents. God is like an imaginary parent to punish bad things and provide comfort when a person is afraid and suffering. People can hallucinate when they are under extreme distress (like war or torture). Parents tell stories to encourage children to behave. It's comfort for dealing with the fear of death and punishment to try and control behavior or even to label something as bad when it isn't actually bad (like sex).0 -
It's ok. I like when people talk about their thoughts and ideas. I wouldn't call it silly.1
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