Friends with benefits

petunia773 · September 2016

I've been in a couple of FWB situations. The first one happened to be the younger brother of a man who dumped me and he was my shoulder to cry on and we started hanging out quite a bit and one thing lead to another...neither one of us regrets it and we still talk when we see each other and it isn't awkward. I have no idea if the older brother ever found out about me and the younger brother, but whatevs...

I'm currently in a sorta FWB situation now. Earlier this spring I was going through a rough patch with my boyfriend of 2 years and one night while I was out drinking I texted my ex-bf and ended up spending the night at his house. Well...we would see each other every few weekends for a night of drinking and amazing sex!! This man is the best lover I've ever had. I've since broken up with the boyfriend, but I'm still waiting for him to move his dumb *kitten* out of my house!! I am still seeing the FWB (previous ex-bf) and have admitted to myself that I am still in love with him and do want more than FWB but am happy right now with the current situation because it's not like I can start another relationship while the dumb *kitten* is still living in my house. So...yes...it's complicated for me, but I'm happy with the FWB...cuz like I said...he's the best piece of *kitten* I've ever had. Anyway...not sure if this helps or not, but from a women's point of view, I see nothing wrong with FWB if you are ok with it not turning into a relationship.

wilsoncl6 · September 2016

Scientifically speaking, women typically have more problems with a FWB situation than men for various reasons: Societal expectations, hormonal reactions to intimacy and the like. However, I see nothing wrong with it at all because not every man is meant for every woman and not every woman is meant for every man so why not experience what's out there and have someone safe and useful on the side until you find what you're looking for. If both parties are mature and have a complete understanding of the situation, then there shouldn't be any problems. The problem will likely come when one party or the other is cut off because they've found someone they connect with. I say, go for it, have fun and cut it off if it gets complicated.

Sharsou · September 2016

Do whatever u feel like.. Anything that gives you pleasure and strength to fight this difficult time, till the time u aren't doing drugs.. All's well

cwolfman13 · September 2016

I think it really depends on what you mean by "friend"...like is this a good friend that you hope to hold as a friend or is this just someone you know maybe through the running in the same circles, etc but you don't really have a true friendship necessarily.

If it's the latter then whatever...I've had a few of those and everything worked out fine for the duration of the time we chose to have benefits and then we just parted ways and no biggie. In my experience, this is about 2-3 months worth of gettin' it on and then poof...

If it's truly a friend then I would proceed with caution. I ended up having this kind of FWB thing with a really good friend of mine...we were actually completely platonic for years (even though there was always some attraction there) until one night a hookup happened at a party. Had it stopped there everything would have probably been ok, but we liked it...it was fun...so it kept happening even though we were both still seeing and dating other people.

Eventually (and it didn't take that long) this ultimately altered our existing relationship substantially even though we said and were determined that it never would. We started being jealous of one another and doing the kind of things jealousy tends to bring out...late night calls questioning where she/I was...who were you with...why didn't you text back sooner...WTF I thought we were going to hang out Thursday night and now you're going on a date, etc?

In a nutshell, we both lost a very good friend in each other...we were like opposite sex besties before that and fu$&ing around completely destroyed that...so I guess it just depends on what you're ultimately willing to lose.