Other people's reactions to your weight loss or diet
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Friends have noticed and always compliment me tell me to keep up the good work. My family on the other hand say I starve myself and I've lost the weight too quick
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The pizza lady at Harris Teeter noticed my weight loss. I love their pizzas and on Mondays it's only $7.99 for a large. Anyway, on that day she was working in the deli and I asked for 1 lb of turkey and she said "have you lost weight?" That was the best feeling ever. Although I go to Harris Teeter about once a week, I don't always go to her area so her commenting on my weight loss motivated me to continue on this journey even when I don't feel like it.11
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I just had the first compliment from someone who did NOT know I was trying to lose weight. My boss (male) said "You look good - more awake or alert or something. More happy." I told him I had been eating way better and exercising and had lost 10 lbs and two pants sizes. He was amazed and I was not offended at all. I understand that all men, especially in the workplace, have to watch what they say about women's bodies. But a lot of the "creepy" factor is in how they say things, and where they are staring when they say it.21
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Everyone just tells me I look too skinny now. I got told by someone I've had a crush on for years that I'm too skinny (he likes big girls I just found out ugh). I'm not anywhere close to being "too skinny" for my height...but everyone's reactions make me wonder6
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ericatoday wrote: »My family tells me to stop losing weight because im going to start looking sick im 5'7" and 135lbs i still have lots of jiggle because im not toned and i still have thick thighs. But my whole family is obese so idk of theyre jealous or just use to fat family. Or i hate when people ask how i did it then they say thats too much work.
I WANNA SEE THAT JIGGLE.....LOL1 -
hypodonthaveme wrote: »Where do I start. I have had some excited about me trying to lose weight and this some also mocked me when weight loss started to show. I have been told I'm unhealthy and assume I had cancer or something. Which I don't. I have people who use to talk to me that no longer talk to me. Good thing I am doing this for me and not them. I have had people who have never spoke to me and now they do. My husband and daughter say I am an inspiration to them.
But none of that matters. I am doing this for me. Just let the negatives keep rolling past. I am stronger. I walk faster now. I have more energy. I am doing things that I once thought was impossible. I am the happiest I have been in years. I am enjoying myself for the first time in my life. I love all the things I have learned about myself through my weight loss journey.
I will not quit on myself because of someone else's opinion. I will strive and continue on. I deserve this and I am going to reach goal.
I love this one.
A friend of mine recently came for a visit and after hugging me she poutily said that I used to be much fluffier and cuddlier. That made me laugh.
But I know that true friends will love you regardless of what you look like on the outside. Therefore this transformation is not about the opinion or reaction of others, but about what I feel and want for myself.7 -
It's all been positive. My grandpa and father, both who are feeders, would comment that I will blow away in the wind, but not in a negative way. I still eat well, and everyone knew I wasn't very healthy before losing weight.
And I agree that a lot of people want to know the secret to my weight loss. It gets a little old after a while, especially when no one likes it when you tell them you counted calories and started exercising, lol.5 -
bugsypemberton wrote: »I'm going to focus on something I think is more important: how do you react to others after your weight loss.
Years ago there was a made for TV movie called "the girl most likely to". Played by Stockard Channing, the story revolved around an obese college student who admittedly was not very pretty but was trying her best to fit in. During the course of winding her way through the muck and mire of peerdom, she ended up being the brunt of a joke that was so humiliating to her that she ran out and ended up in an accident that landed her in the hospital getting extreme plastic surgery.
You can probably guess that she ended up beautiful and thin.
And then she exacted her revenge for every hurtful, painful thing anyone ever did to her.
I was 380 pounds. I am now down to 240. I wonder how many in this thread would look at me with disdain still? I hope none would. I would like to think everyone here- even the ones here to gain weight- would say "wow thats great!"
The other day, while sitting in the B&N waiting on some good herbal tea, I looked over and saw a woman eating her scone. They serve very large scones in the one near us. With a custard sauce. She was enjoying it. I would guess her weight to be around 400 or so. She was a big girl.
At first the thought crossed my mind: "doesn't she see how she looks eating that?"
Then I looked over at a very lovely, thin girl and her friends. They were laughing and looking at me. One even said:"Its okay for old ladies to be fat" (she needed to learn how to whisper). Since I was the only woman there with gray hair it was safe to assume who the object was.
It was wrong of me to see someone else the way others see me.
Changing how we see others after we lose our weight is as important as how others see us, I reckon.
I was just telling my bf about this movie two days ago. Jon from "CHiPS" was in it. She cut him loose or something like that while they were sky diving...haha2 -
My oldest sister whines and says, "Yeah, but losing weight (or whatever it is that she's working on personally) is easier for YOU." Whatever. I usually just smile and say, "Yeah. It is."1
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My coworker just said "dang, skinny!" When I came in to a meeting the other day. Was kind of embarrassing as there were like 4 others on the room. I said "skinny is overstating it, but yes I've lost weight"; I'm about 178 and 5'7 so not even close to skinny. I guess nice to be noticed but was kind of unprofessional, or would've been different if was just us two. Friends and family have been encouraging though!10
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My Hubby keeps exclaiming that I have curves, now. I guess he is liking it.
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I've gotten mostly positive reactions. I'm down 60 lbs, with another 65 to go. My family are all very happy that I'm taking better care of myself now and are very supportive of my food and exercise choices. They don't harp on me if they see me eating a burger or ordering a second glass of wine because they also see me eating grilled chicken with veggies most of the time.
While I appreciate all that they have said and how happy they are, I think the best reaction to my progress so far has been this tiny super fit and strong woman that goes to my gym. She's probably 5' tall (I'm 5' 9") but is very muscular and I see her all the time working out. I've never spoken to her other than the occasional "hello". She saw me heading to the cardio machines a few weeks ago and said, "hey there! I've been watching you for a while around here and you're looking great! Keep up the good work!"
Made my day!26 -
Most people are shocked at how I went from a huge 164 lbs at 5'3 (yes it's huge don't kid yourself) down to 100-105 lbs where I am now. They call me anorexic which I'm not but I can tell why they think that since 105 is the lowest for 5'3 and I fluctuate between 100-105. Oh well.9
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Everyone has been very supportive (I lost 30 kilos in 12 months, that's around maybe 65 pounds?). But when I tell them that I didn't change what I was eating, just the quantities, they don't believe me. It's actually a really simple formula, basic physics. But it's like they'd be more likely to believe me if I say I run 10kms a day and eat nothing but lettuce. I suspect that people want it to be super hard so that they have an excuse not to do it. I actually find the best mindset is just to do it - I don't eat less because I want to lose weight, I just eat less. It's just how it is. Much easier than constantly telling yourself you're depriving yourself of something you really want.
I also live about a half hour's walk from where I work, so I walk. I was walking before I started losing weight, but everyone tries to use it to explain my weight loss - "oh, but you exercise all the time". Sorry, an hour of walking a day really isn't all that much exercise (it's like 230 cals, whoopty-do). I get a lot of comments along the lines of "you're so good, you're always exercising!" Doesn't make me 'good', just makes me slightly more proactive.
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JulieSHelms wrote: »My two favorite comments came while at church from older women. One said to me as I walked in the door..."Where's your other half?" I said, "He's parking the car. He'll be right in." She said, "No, I mean the other half of you!" Last week a woman who I know by sight only said I looked amazing and a 'shadow of my former self'. Lol.
One thing I have noticed...I have been complimented a lot, but it's always women. Other than my husband and father, no men have said a word.
Any 40+ married men care to comment on that--I'd love to know what's happening from your perspective on this.
42 year old married man here. First off, I don't think I know any ladies that have had a major weight loss. If I did, though, I'd probably have to know them pretty well to say something about it. I'd be worried a bit about coming off like a creep that was hitting on her. I also feel that pointing out that I notice how much they've lost is also pointing out that I noticed how huge they used to be...lol. It's a weird dynamic, as I'm down almost 60lbs myself, and appreciate the comments when I get them. I worry that by pointing out weight loss to a woman, I'm also pointing out how much heavier she used to be in an insulting way. Hopefully that makes sense.
Exactly this, talking to a woman about her appearance, especially weight, is an absolute minefield!
Usually best to steer well clear. Even when asked directly
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My weight loss has been so slow and gradual that nobody has really noticed. But every once in a while, people will offer me food and question me when I turn it down. I'm trying to watch my intake, I say. "Shut up, you weigh 110," they say. Um, no? Not even close???1
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A few years ago I lost about 65 lbs -ok, I gained a bunch back, but...
My fave question was something like, "HOW did you do it"? And my response was, "I can tell you all but you will NOT like my answer!" (As in it's WORK: watch what you eat, get some exercise... I never went into specifics of calories/MFP, macros, HRM, strength training, C25K, etc, UNLESS the person took the convo to a deeper level.)
Haters gonna hate.
Also: People who never mentioned it (ok, bc I work in a conservative company), and others were definitely supportive & gushing :-)0 -
Since I was chubby/overweight most of my life and dropping 5 dress sizes and keeping it off, my reactions has been all over the place. Mostly positive with a lot of questions and compliments though.
- I've had people not recognize me at all until I started to speak.
- People want to know what diet plan did I use or if I'm eating low carb? When I say I watch my calories and I exercise I always hear that's too much work.
- Some whom I've known for a long time have hugged me yelled "OMG, you look amazing! Where's the rest of you????!!!!" while violating my body at the same time (lol).
- Others have said nothing, just stare and watch my every move like what I'm eating or wearing etc. So creepy.
- When I was losing some worried about me taking it too far and losing my curves.
- I've gotten some "fit shaming" comments because I'm really active.
- Lastly, I have a feeling some people are watching me to see if I gain any weight back. I'm in year 4 of maintenance with no regain and working hard to stay put!
I've come a long way and this has been one wild ride, but it has been so worth it!
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Ugh. My mother in law over Christmas made fun of the fact that I "FINALLY" had some wine on Christmas Eve, and again on Christmas. She kept telling everyone how I had "two tablespoons of wine" like it was the funniest thing ever. Ok lady, I allowed myself a small glass of wine after months of abstaining because it fit within my macros and I felt like I wanted some. Would you prefer that I am a drunk like my husband's ex? She frequently tries to get me to have "just one" of certain items that just don't fit within my plan. I know myself..."Just one" Molasses cookie leads to "just" a dozen. It's just not a good idea for me.
I have lost 189 lbs, and they have seen me lose 131 of them since my daughter was born (and the biggest size she ever knew me to be). I am nearly half the size I was at my max. There's a reason for that.
On the other hand, my sister in law, who is close to my bigger sizes, is a doll. She walks with me from time to time, and did her first 5K with me last Monday. I am SO proud of her, as is my mother in law, and I know in my heart that she is following my example. She is awesome. My husband got dragged along on the exercise bandwagon and he is being pretty supportive. He frequently cooks for me and makes sure to weigh everything and fit it within my macros. Now that we both have fitbits he is really getting on board. He even talked to me about joining MFP last night!
Coworkers and colleagues have generally been positive. Other than the occasional "oh you can't have that right?" from a specific person they have been pretty complimentary, asking what my magic secret is. Hard work. That's the secret. I haven't gotten any "too skinny" comments because while people aren't used to seeing me this size, bluntly put, I'm not. I may be under 200 lbs but I have more to lose. I almost look forward to that day.14 -
For the most part, my family and friends are happy for me and excited at each milestone I pass. I do have some family members that get frustrated with me when I visit because I no longer eat some of the things they fix because it is high calorie, high fat, and carb heavy. I'm not trying to be difficult, but I have changed my eating habits to improve my health. So, I offer to cook when I visit. Takes some of the pressure off them, too. Don't get me wrong. They try to be supportive, but they just don't quite understand me. It's okay, though. At least they like my food.
I think the best comment I get is, "Girl! I didn't even RECOGNIZE you! You have lost so much weight!" 8 -
Most people have been really supportive and I have this one man at a club I belong to make such a big deal the other day it was actually embarrassing as he would not stop, He is not a close friend and he continued to make a big deal after I had thanked him for noticing. Anyone else have anything like this happen and how can you handle it as I felt he was actually making a bit of a scene at the club.2
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Most people have been really supportive and I have this one man at a club I belong to make such a big deal the other day it was actually embarrassing as he would not stop, He is not a close friend and he continued to make a big deal after I had thanked him for noticing. Anyone else have anything like this happen and how can you handle it as I felt he was actually making a bit of a scene at the club.
I would fart really loudly. But I'm pretty uncouth. :laugh:7 -
JulieSHelms wrote: »My two favorite comments came while at church from older women. One said to me as I walked in the door..."Where's your other half?" I said, "He's parking the car. He'll be right in." She said, "No, I mean the other half of you!" Last week a woman who I know by sight only said I looked amazing and a 'shadow of my former self'. Lol.
One thing I have noticed...I have been complimented a lot, but it's always women. Other than my husband and father, no men have said a word.
Any 40+ married men care to comment on that--I'd love to know what's happening from your perspective on this.
42 year old married man here. First off, I don't think I know any ladies that have had a major weight loss. If I did, though, I'd probably have to know them pretty well to say something about it. I'd be worried a bit about coming off like a creep that was hitting on her. I also feel that pointing out that I notice how much they've lost is also pointing out that I noticed how huge they used to be...lol. It's a weird dynamic, as I'm down almost 60lbs myself, and appreciate the comments when I get them. I worry that by pointing out weight loss to a woman, I'm also pointing out how much heavier she used to be in an insulting way. Hopefully that makes sense.
Pretty much what he said (In bold)0 -
I like for men to notice. Usually, they hold off until they know for sure it's not a temporary sickness. But the ones that comment use a "factual" approach. "Hey, have you lost some weight?" No creepiness, no weirdness. Then, I offer yes, I've been cutting calories and trying to get healthier. The conversation is simple and over quickly, and there is positive affirmation from the opposite sex.2
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Chef_Barbell wrote: »Most people have been really supportive and I have this one man at a club I belong to make such a big deal the other day it was actually embarrassing as he would not stop, He is not a close friend and he continued to make a big deal after I had thanked him for noticing. Anyone else have anything like this happen and how can you handle it as I felt he was actually making a bit of a scene at the club.
I would fart really loudly. But I'm pretty uncouth. :laugh:
I think I love you in a totally non-stalker, non-creeper way.6 -
Chef_Barbell wrote: »Most people have been really supportive and I have this one man at a club I belong to make such a big deal the other day it was actually embarrassing as he would not stop, He is not a close friend and he continued to make a big deal after I had thanked him for noticing. Anyone else have anything like this happen and how can you handle it as I felt he was actually making a bit of a scene at the club.
I would fart really loudly. But I'm pretty uncouth. :laugh:
I think I love you in a totally non-stalker, non-creeper way.
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So, I saw my mother for the first time in 6 months last weekend. Since I saw her previously, I had lost 30 lbs. (I am 5'8" and weigh 190 now). I had told my brother I had lost weight before I saw them (and how much). He had gotten weight loss surgery last year (He had numerous health problems) and is down to a mid-low normal weight (and looks fabulous).
Any way, he told mom, I was losing weight before I got there. I see her and her response "I hear you have lost 40 lbs." "No only 30" "Oh well". It kind of pissed me off. Here I am working my butt off (I am now down 36.6 lbs since the end of October - 3 months - I think this is great progress). I'm not losing it as fast as my brother did. But I am losing. (Not mad at my brother - he is quite supportive and I am quite happy for him).
Oh BTW, mom is morbidly obese and cant get in and out of a chair or walk across the room without help (She's 5'3" and wears a size 4X - My top weight was 226 - size 16).4 -
I have lost 14kg since the begnning of November 2016 (that's 30 pounds), and I have another 14kg til I'm at my ideal goal. So far I have had good comments from people. Not that many have actually told me anything to my face. At work three people have commented positively, but I hated it so much when one of them said "you should stop now, it's enough". No It's not enough because I'm still almost obese! I have a long way left to go.
At home, my partner has been mostly positive but I don't like how he comments that before it was soooo damn terrible and it's much better now... it basically implies he thought i was ugly before. I'm sure I wasn't looking as good but I don't want to think of my past self as a failure or inadequate, just someone who needed improvements and successfully recognized it.
The saddest part about losing weight is that I am finding that people are consistently nicer to me now compared to before. It's a subtle, wordless thing; and they probably don't even notice it themselves. It truly shows how people can't help but judge someone just on their appearance.
I did not do this for appearance. I did this for my health because things were slowly but surely getting out of hand with asthma, mobility, heart palpitations, blood cholesterol etc.
When people ask me how I did it and I explain what I cut out of my diet and that I count calories and I exercise, their face falls. It's like people can't be asked to count calories every day to safeguard their health, then they wonder how they got fat.11 -
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I've lost 148 over 2.5 years and have never received anything but totally positive feedback from others!10
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