This is why people gain weight, and why losing it is so hard.

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Replies

  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    jdb3388 wrote: »
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    jdb3388 wrote: »
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    Dano74 wrote: »
    You sound discouraged, my man. If I could offer some hope... 1899 seems extremely low for any kind of maintenance. What are your stats?

    This is what I was going to say. I'm a 5 ft 4 female at with a weight range 140-145 and I maintain in 1960 without exercise, and between 2060 and 2200 with exercise, depending on what I do. OP is a guy. Something is not right with the TDEE calc.

    It's correct. I've tried it out on 3 separate calculators and they all say the same thing.

    No it's not.

    I just used this calculator set at the sedentary setting and came up with much higher numbers. You're inputting wrong information.

    Your TDEE is: 2826 Calories per day
    Your BMR is: 2355 Calories per day
    We suggest the following for your goal to Maintain
    2826 Calories per day

    To lose to pounds a week you'd eat 2260, then your calories would decrease with every ten pounds you lose.

    Let's say you reach your goal weight of 165 (I don't know if that's your goal weight, this is just for demonstration purposes) in 2018 (100 pounds is a lot to lose), then your TDEE at sedentary would be 2063.
    That calculator is very similar to the one I used. I just put in all of my information and calculated it at my goal weight. Other calculators have said 1899, this one says 1967. that's virtually the same thing. 68 calories is not enough to change anything.

    I tried it too for the hell of it. It gave me an extra 88 calories lol. Beats me!
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    The more you move, the more you can eat. The less you weigh, the less you require. When your weight drops to your target weight, you won't be the same kind of "hungry" you are every day now...Go with the flow, keep to the system, stay on plan, and you'll be ok. But my first statement is king....Move more to eat more.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    kimny72 wrote: »
    OP, you seem set on feeling like the rest of your life will be a constant burden of not eating what you want. I don't think you need to worry about it, because with that point of view, you'll never get to goal weight.

    You have a long journey ahead of you. If that journey is successful, your tastes, preferences, energy level, and goals will slowly change over time. If you focus on making small tweaks to the way you eat, one at a time while being patient you will find yourself enjoying different foods and portions and feeling satisfied. If you experiment with your way if eating and keep an open mind, you will find new ways to enjoy your food without eating 4000 calories and being 100 lbs overweight.

    There are hundreds of people here at MFP who lost 100 lbs and even more. Do you actually think they are all miserably eating food they don't like, wishing they could stuff themselves like they used to?

    Stop looking at 2 years from now and making assumptions. Start looking at today and tomorrow and baby steps. Start looking forward to being healthier and more energetic and looking good and feeling more confident and feeling proud of accomplishing your goals and let the rest figure itself out. You won't feel the same way about 2000 calories two years from now as you do now. Don't let yourself set that fear up as an excuse you can use later to give up.

    Things taste vastly different after you've been off the high fat/salt/sugar things for a while. You become able to taste and enjoy subtler flavors. That causes the healthy foods to taste really good. I know it's hard to imagine at first, but it totally happens.
  • T1DCarnivoreRunner
    T1DCarnivoreRunner Posts: 11,502 Member
    auddii wrote: »
    auddii wrote: »
    jdb3388 wrote: »
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    jdb3388 wrote: »
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    Dano74 wrote: »
    You sound discouraged, my man. If I could offer some hope... 1899 seems extremely low for any kind of maintenance. What are your stats?

    This is what I was going to say. I'm a 5 ft 4 female at with a weight range 140-145 and I maintain in 1960 without exercise, and between 2060 and 2200 with exercise, depending on what I do. OP is a guy. Something is not right with the TDEE calc.

    It's correct. I've tried it out on 3 separate calculators and they all say the same thing.

    No it's not.

    I just used this calculator set at the sedentary setting and came up with much higher numbers. You're inputting wrong information.

    Your TDEE is: 2826 Calories per day
    Your BMR is: 2355 Calories per day
    We suggest the following for your goal to Maintain
    2826 Calories per day

    To lose to pounds a week you'd eat 2260, then your calories would decrease with every ten pounds you lose.

    Let's say you reach your goal weight of 165 (I don't know if that's your goal weight, this is just for demonstration purposes) in 2018 (100 pounds is a lot to lose), then your TDEE at sedentary would be 2063.
    That calculator is very similar to the one I used. I just put in all of my information and calculated it at my goal weight. Other calculators have said 1899, this one says 1967. that's virtually the same thing. 68 calories is not enough to change anything.

    There is a huge difference in how each of you is measuring this... @SLLRunner is calculating based on 265 lbs. and you are calculating based on 150 lbs. Of course a 265 lb. man is going to have a higher BMR and TDEE than a 150 lb. man. And since you are talking about what will happen when you reach your goal weight of 150 lbs., @SLLRunner is wrong because she is using the wrong input. Bad inputs = bad outputs.

    And complete reading comprehension fail. She went on to calculate it at 165. That is still a bit higher though than the OP's goal of 150 (which she didn't see).

    OP, I'm going to 9000th everyone else and suggest getting active. Using this same calculator referenced above, I got that at goal weight and sedentary I have a TDEE of 1751. If I workout 3-5 days a week and get moderately active, I can maintain at 2261.

    Those 500 calories per day are so worth it.

    No, click on the link @SLLRunner provided and you will see it is calculated for 265 lbs. In fact, that is embedded into the link itself (as 120.2 kg): http://mytdee.com/#gender=male&yr=27&cm=165.1&kg=120.2&bfp=&goal=maintain&formula=standard&units=imperial&exercise=sedentary

    Yes, which gives a TDEE of 2826. Like she posted. And then if you change it to 165, you get 1967. Like she posted.

    The words, they are there to be read.

    Sure, and the argument is "Your numbers are wrong, and see these numbers I came up with!! Look at these enormous numbers using your current weight!!! They are way bigger than your calculations!" and then "Oh, but by the way, I know it doesn't make any difference and I have no idea what your goal weight is anyway." So the argument is that the numbers are wrong based upon using a bad weight input.

    Here's the sad truth for OP: He will have to eat less after he loses weight. He just realized this and is very discouraged by that fact. Arguing that his TDEE is higher now than it will be later does nothing to help him. He is going to have to come to terms with the fact that weighing less = eating less. I'm already at that point where I am getting close to goal and have to eat very little. So I know firsthand that OP is right to be concerned about what lies ahead in terms of a lack of food intake.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    Francl27 wrote: »
    For me that's why 'you can lose weight without exercise' is a load of BS. I'd never have lost the weight without exercise. I exercise 1.5 hour a day in average at this point... and it's still a *kitten* to maintain the weight loss!

    I basically end up eating less on days when I have more willpower/I'm less hungry so I can indulge occasionally. It's working but still frustrating.

    I do say that it's technically possible to lose weight without exercise, but I personally couldn't do it. I need those exercise calories. I'd be ravenous and miserable without them. Right now, I'm only hungry right before meals.

    I often extol the other virtues of exercise, in short, cardio for the heart and strength training for muscles and bone health.

    Yes I Have lost weight without exercise...prior to knowing about CI/CO...

    I have done it a couple of times.

    once in high school eating 1k calories a day
    once because my job had me on the move all the time.
    once due to illness
  • T1DCarnivoreRunner
    T1DCarnivoreRunner Posts: 11,502 Member
    edited September 2016
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    auddii wrote: »
    auddii wrote: »
    jdb3388 wrote: »
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    jdb3388 wrote: »
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    Dano74 wrote: »
    You sound discouraged, my man. If I could offer some hope... 1899 seems extremely low for any kind of maintenance. What are your stats?

    This is what I was going to say. I'm a 5 ft 4 female at with a weight range 140-145 and I maintain in 1960 without exercise, and between 2060 and 2200 with exercise, depending on what I do. OP is a guy. Something is not right with the TDEE calc.

    It's correct. I've tried it out on 3 separate calculators and they all say the same thing.

    No it's not.

    I just used this calculator set at the sedentary setting and came up with much higher numbers. You're inputting wrong information.

    Your TDEE is: 2826 Calories per day
    Your BMR is: 2355 Calories per day
    We suggest the following for your goal to Maintain
    2826 Calories per day

    To lose to pounds a week you'd eat 2260, then your calories would decrease with every ten pounds you lose.

    Let's say you reach your goal weight of 165 (I don't know if that's your goal weight, this is just for demonstration purposes) in 2018 (100 pounds is a lot to lose), then your TDEE at sedentary would be 2063.
    That calculator is very similar to the one I used. I just put in all of my information and calculated it at my goal weight. Other calculators have said 1899, this one says 1967. that's virtually the same thing. 68 calories is not enough to change anything.

    There is a huge difference in how each of you is measuring this... @SLLRunner is calculating based on 265 lbs. and you are calculating based on 150 lbs. Of course a 265 lb. man is going to have a higher BMR and TDEE than a 150 lb. man. And since you are talking about what will happen when you reach your goal weight of 150 lbs., @SLLRunner is wrong because she is using the wrong input. Bad inputs = bad outputs.

    And complete reading comprehension fail. She went on to calculate it at 165. That is still a bit higher though than the OP's goal of 150 (which she didn't see).

    OP, I'm going to 9000th everyone else and suggest getting active. Using this same calculator referenced above, I got that at goal weight and sedentary I have a TDEE of 1751. If I workout 3-5 days a week and get moderately active, I can maintain at 2261.

    Those 500 calories per day are so worth it.

    No, click on the link @SLLRunner provided and you will see it is calculated for 265 lbs. In fact, that is embedded into the link itself (as 120.2 kg): http://mytdee.com/#gender=male&yr=27&cm=165.1&kg=120.2&bfp=&goal=maintain&formula=standard&units=imperial&exercise=sedentary

    Yes, which gives a TDEE of 2826. Like she posted. And then if you change it to 165, you get 1967. Like she posted.

    The words, they are there to be read.

    Sure, and the argument is "Your numbers are wrong, and see these numbers I came up with!! Look at these enormous numbers using your current weight!!! They are way bigger than your calculations!" and then "Oh, but by the way, I know it doesn't make any difference and I have no idea what your goal weight is anyway." So the argument is that the numbers are wrong based upon using a bad weight input.

    Here's the sad truth for OP: He will have to eat less after he loses weight. He just realized this and is very discouraged by that fact. Arguing that his TDEE is higher now than it will be later does nothing to help him. He is going to have to come to terms with the fact that weighing less = eating less. I'm already at that point where I am getting close to goal and have to eat very little. So I know firsthand that OP is right to be concerned about what lies ahead in terms of a lack of food intake.

    The point was to clarify all the numbers, not just to confirm what his TDEE would be at his goal weight. Showing what his TDEE is today, and what calorie level he needs to eat at in order to lose 1 lb/week provides a solid baseline of what is an appropriate goal based on current stats. Confirming the numbers he was so discouraged by, or finding out that those were actually too conservative based on calculations from another site, is also a helpful piece of information.

    The OP didn't talk about his TDEE of today. He talked about his TDEE of the future, and what his current eating habits were like. One is far too high for his current stats, and one is far too low. The point people are making is that learning how to eat for your current size, then taking a moderate deficit from that, takes effort but it retrains your body. The defeatist attitude of looking at extremes, woe is me I'll never be able to eat like I used to, isn't helpful. The numbers @SLLRunner provided are.

    OP is concerned about how little he will be able to eat when he reaches his goal weight. How exactly does pointing out how much he can eat now help him? If it were me, I would be looking at what I can eat now without gaining any more, look at the much smaller amount to maintain in the future, then the choice to abandon a weight loss goal becomes very attractive. Perhaps this helps, but I'm not seeing it.

    ETA: And now I'm considering how much more delicious food I could eat when I was heavier and I'm thinking about abandoning my diet now... I've been at this a lot longer than OP and didn't start out in this thread ever thinking I would consider stopping, but with the much higher calorie allotments, I am really thinking about this. If that is the case for me, it may very well be that OP looks at those numbers and thinks, "Yep, losing weight is a bad idea."
  • heybales
    heybales Posts: 18,842 Member
    jdb3388 wrote: »
    So here's were the experiment comes into play. I thought, you know what, I've never just booked out a normal "non deiting" day, lets see how many calories that is. So I went into MFP and loaded up what I would eat on a normal day. Over 4500 calories!!! HOLY S**T!!!! No wonder people get so fat so quickly without even realizing whats happening!

    So be aware that unless you were gaining weight very fast - like 1-2 lbs weekly - then your maintenance for your level of activity was likely very close to that.
    If you were gaining 1-2 lbs weekly, then maintenance was really 500-1000 less than that.

    And I'm betting you are doing more now compared to then - which means maintenance is actually higher.

    Many people do just go by estimated calculations - and that's great when you have no clue as to how much you used to eat.

    But if you can log that - you get a much better estimate.

    Now what you do is divide that average eaten (or less some amount if actually gaining weight fast) for maintenance by your calculated BMR.

    There's your activity factor based on results, not estimated. Now, foundation of math is still calculated BMR which you could be higher then, but still.

    So that means as you lost weight, and if you kept your activity level the same, the activity factor would still apply - and you can get decent estimate of calories at new lower weight.

    Of course if you do more now and then with exercise and daily activity - it'll be higher.
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    Stopped reading at page 2 but.. if you're losing weight now just to be able to go back to your old eating habits, you're going to be the same guy again anyway.

    I've learned never to say I don't like anything anymore, or that I prefer something over something else until I've tried it. My habits continue to change even daily and I'm finding I want to nourish myself more and more, rather than "please" myself. Because feeling nourished now pleases me.

    Indulging feels great once in a while, but if I take it too far I feel awful physically. (I stopped letting it bother me mentally, nothing productive comes out of beating yourself up for eating something)

    Anyway, sorry if I've just repeated.
  • bbaugh2014
    bbaugh2014 Posts: 14 Member
    jdb3388 wrote: »
    Sued0nim wrote: »
    Dano74 wrote: »
    jdb3388 wrote: »
    Dano74 wrote: »
    jdb3388 wrote: »
    I'm 5'5'', my goal weight is 150 (which BMI tells me is at the very peak of Normal, just 1 lb away from overweight) and I work a job were I can't get up and walk around often. Comes out to 1899. Even if I take a walk/jog/run in the morning or evenings I'd really only pick up 200-300 calories.

    I'm sure you're running it right- just want to play with/ballpark some numbers, if you don't mind: What's your age and height for BMR? I'm not a big believer in the accuracy of BMI for fat and weight.

    I'm 27, 5'5'' and will (hopefully) weigh in the neighborhood of 150-155

    What do you currently weigh? PM me if you'd like.

    Why you so interested in a nominal BMR? It's only relevant as a base to his activity and purposeful exercise

    He's talking about his maintenance at goal

    As he loses weight he needs to adjust his idea of normal

    Cos seriously..4500 is nowhere near normal

    I know 4500 is more than a lot, and I think I can reasonably get it down to 3000 and still be happy and not just always hating that I can't have this or that. but 1900ish is just super low.



    I understand how you feel..and can relate. I set a goal of losing 1-2 pounds per week. When I realized that exercise wasn't enough because I was eating whatever I wanted. I was shocked at how small my calorie intake is allowed to be and how much WORK it is to maintain it.

    I understand how frustrating it can be not being able to eat something. If your normal calorie intake is 4500.. Then I think that a goal for 3000 to become your norm is a great starting point. Try drinking more water, especially before meals and make trade offs ie. take 10 minutes to walk around the building before you start your day! That will earn you ~70 calories. It doesn't seem like much, but it adds up.

    Setting these small goals and trade offs help make it easier. Don't be surprised if you are still gaining weight while you work towards 3000 a day. Once you make your 3000 a routine, start cutting back to 2500, then 2000, pretty soon 1899 will be your norm!

    You can do this. Remember its not always cutting out food you can't have, its trade offs. Exercise for treats. :)
  • CaptainJoy
    CaptainJoy Posts: 257 Member
    I used to like things that were fried and foods with lots of cheese and/or creamy sauces. I used to like sodas too. I don't know if I still like them because I don't eat or drink them anymore. I eat grilled or blackened fish and poultry or 6 ounce steaks with a serving size of mashed potatoes and a side salad with no dressing. WHY? Because I refuse to go from morbid obesity to normal/healthy weight for no reason. I did not work this hard at tweaking my diet just to regain my weight. If it's not sustainable, throw in the towel and quit now. If you're willing to work for it, find foods that you like now and make them a staple. Find alternatives to sodas. I found a 30 calorie black cherry energy water that I love. The fried food and cheese cravings do go away. The important thing is to find foods that satisfy your hunger and keep you out of the kitchen.
  • serapel
    serapel Posts: 502 Member
    jdb3388 wrote: »
    So I just did a little experiment. I started out just trying to see how many calories I would be able to eat per day once I reach my goal weight. The number was shockingly low. My TDEE, not including any exercise, will be 1899. That number hit me hard, I don't know how I can possibly live my life eating that few calories. I mean right now It's one thing because I am working very hard to cut weight, but to look up and see that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, because maintenance is so low calorie, its very discouraging.

    So here's were the experiment comes into play. I thought, you know what, I've never just booked out a normal "non deiting" day, lets see how many calories that is. So I went into MFP and loaded up what I would eat on a normal day. Over 4500 calories!!! HOLY S**T!!!! No wonder people get so fat so quickly without even realizing whats happening!

    So my takeaway: I don't know whats worse, thinking about how easy it was to get this way without even realizing what was going on, or thinking about how miserable its going to be trying to eat at maintenance once I get to my goal weight.

    I can eat more than you to maintain...2300 cals a day and I'm female and 45 years old.

    I lift very heavy weights four times a week. That's the only difference really.
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    Sued0nim wrote: »
    bccalling wrote: »
    OP, I just wanted to jump in and say that I get where you’re coming from, and I can relate. And you will either succeed in losing the weight, or you won’t. Either way, that’s okay. The weight is not what defines you. I believe you can do this, but it’s also okay if you can’t.

    I know people jump on these boards in an attempt to give good advice, and a lot of it is good advice—these boards have been very helpful for me as I’ve tried to move forward on this journey—but I don’t remember seeing you actually ask for advice. I’m seeing a lot of people talking about how you’re not taking this advice, you’re being negative, etc., and I just have to say, I’m sorry that you’re dealing with these responses. Some of us can’t just “turn off” the negative. People can claim it’s simple all they want, they can tell you you just need to “be positive,” but if you’re anything like me, that’s not how it works. Some of us can’t just “decide” to be positive.

    That does not mean that you are going to fail. It just means you need to take it one step at a time and move forward in the way that is best for you. I’m personally pretty “negative.” And sometimes I need to put those feelings out into the world and ask for support from others so those feelings don’t consume me. The way I read this, OP, you’re looking for support, not advice. Sometimes those are one and the same, but not always.

    It’s okay to feel upset, sad, deprived, negative sometimes. I understand how you feel. This journey is hard, and it’s okay to feel this way and want to voice those emotions. Please don’t take to heart some of the comments you’re seeing here. Yes, mindset is important. But you don’t have to be 100% on and 100% positive to make this work for you. Keep moving forward, one day at a time. Some days you’ll feel more down than others, and that’s okay. You have every right to those feelings, and it’s okay to express them, even when others insist you’re doing it wrong by feeling the way you do. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re trying. That’s the important part.

    Do or do not, there is no try
    Yoda

    @Sued0nim I know you're generally a tough cookie, and this is an example, but I enjoyed this. You tell it like it is. I love Yoda
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    jdb3388 wrote: »
    I'm 5'5'', my goal weight is 150 (which BMI tells me is at the very peak of Normal, just 1 lb away from overweight) and I work a job were I can't get up and walk around often. Comes out to 1899. Even if I take a walk/jog/run in the morning or evenings I'd really only pick up 200-300 calories.

    Uh. As a 5'5 female, 150 is right around the top of the BMI for me.
  • brdnw
    brdnw Posts: 565 Member
    edited September 2016
    i went from 285lbs to 188 at my lightest (with 65lbs of that coming within 7 months). When I weighed 285 I was a very sloppy eater. When i ate fast food, i would get a combo meal and additional side or two. A guy at my work weighed 270 and used to eat 2 chipotle burritos both with double meat. His eating habits were even worse than mine, and i worked with him and now he's 12% bodyfat at 210.

    So in my blab i'm saying I understand feeling like you need to eat alot and how 2000 might not sound like much. But it is. You'll just need to cook more. If you eat lean proteins like chicken breast, seafood, 99% lean ground turkey. You'll see you can get a lot of food without a lot of calories. When i was losing a bulk of my weight i learned to enjoy eating salads. I eat salads that weigh about a pound and just fill it with chicken breast and vegetables. It's very filling and not calorie dense.

    Also fruits/vegetables can be pretty filling snacks. Also consider not drinking any calories. I drink diet soda, flavored waters (mio), there are alot of options out there.
  • seska422
    seska422 Posts: 3,217 Member
    jdb3388 wrote: »
    I'm 5'5'', my goal weight is 150 (which BMI tells me is at the very peak of Normal, just 1 lb away from overweight) and I work a job were I can't get up and walk around often. Comes out to 1899. Even if I take a walk/jog/run in the morning or evenings I'd really only pick up 200-300 calories.

    Uh. As a 5'5 female, 150 is right around the top of the BMI for me.

    BMI ignores gender. That's the main problem with it, IMO.
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
    jdb3388 wrote: »
    So I just did a little experiment. I started out just trying to see how many calories I would be able to eat per day once I reach my goal weight. The number was shockingly low. My TDEE, not including any exercise, will be 1899. That number hit me hard, I don't know how I can possibly live my life eating that few calories. I mean right now It's one thing because I am working very hard to cut weight, but to look up and see that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, because maintenance is so low calorie, its very discouraging.

    So here's were the experiment comes into play. I thought, you know what, I've never just booked out a normal "non deiting" day, lets see how many calories that is. So I went into MFP and loaded up what I would eat on a normal day. Over 4500 calories!!! HOLY S**T!!!! No wonder people get so fat so quickly without even realizing whats happening!

    So my takeaway: I don't know whats worse, thinking about how easy it was to get this way without even realizing what was going on, or thinking about how miserable its going to be trying to eat at maintenance once I get to my goal weight.

    Not sure what's the difference between us, but my calories are currently set at 1810, and most days I don't reach that. Maybe its more a case of what you eat, rather than how much you eat.

    Are you filling in your daily meals on MFP? Look to see what the highest calorie items are and consider making some changes. There's certainly ways to be full without getting in to the 3000 to 4500 range.
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