Weird gender attraction question
Can't believe I'm posting this, but heck.
First let's start by saying that I've very rarely been physically attracted by someone. I'm not a very sexual person and I need to be emotionally involved to even consider getting there, and even when I like someone, having sex is typically not the first thing in my mind (I guess I'm weird. Dunno).
The thing though is that I've met a couple women in my life that I found very attractive... which isn't much, but I can't say I've felt that way about more than a couple men either. Does it mean I'm bi? I mean, I've never even considered having sex with them but frankly there's really one man I can think of that I haven't been with and actually felt physical desire for so... I'm not sure it really means anything. I'd say that 95% of men and women, even if I find them beautiful/handsome, just don't make me feel any attraction whatsoever.
Thoughts? Is it normal?
First let's start by saying that I've very rarely been physically attracted by someone. I'm not a very sexual person and I need to be emotionally involved to even consider getting there, and even when I like someone, having sex is typically not the first thing in my mind (I guess I'm weird. Dunno).
The thing though is that I've met a couple women in my life that I found very attractive... which isn't much, but I can't say I've felt that way about more than a couple men either. Does it mean I'm bi? I mean, I've never even considered having sex with them but frankly there's really one man I can think of that I haven't been with and actually felt physical desire for so... I'm not sure it really means anything. I'd say that 95% of men and women, even if I find them beautiful/handsome, just don't make me feel any attraction whatsoever.
Thoughts? Is it normal?
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Replies
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If you can't get it wet, get it muddy.11
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TavistockToad wrote: »
Lol yeah...0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »
Indeed, but lesbihonest, I was just playin'18 -
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OP, nothing is wrong with you. If you feel an attraction to someone, for any reason, than it is normal.3
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I think you are just emotionally attracted - as in, you could really love them as a friend.
Our society has corrupted people's minds into thinking if you are connected to someone that connection must be sexual.
The Greeks had lost of names for love, which described many different kinds, and only one of them, eros, was sexual. There was brotherly love, friendship love (which you may be experiencing), paternal love and the general goodness/kindness for humanity, agape. There are more, but I can't remember them off hand.
You said your emotions are connected to your ability to be physically attracted. I would say that your physical attraction is a "fantom symptom" of your emotional connection, that if ignored, would go away, while the friendship aspect could flourish.
You should look up lesbian bed death. Even women who really are attracted to women don't stay physically attracted, and just stop having sex.
So why bother starting, and getting yourself confused about your identity over something that is not real?8 -
If you feel attracted to both sexes then you have a larger pool to choose from.
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thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »I think you are just emotionally attracted - as in, you could really love them as a friend.
Our society has corrupted people's minds into thinking if you are connected to someone that connection must be sexual.
The Greeks had lost of names for love, which described many different kinds, and only one of them, eros, was sexual. There was brotherly love, friendship love (which you may be experiencing), paternal love and the general goodness/kindness for humanity, agape. There are more, but I can't remember them off hand.
You said your emotions are connected to your ability to be physically attracted. I would say that your physical attraction is a "fantom symptom" of your emotional connection, that if ignored, would go away, while the friendship aspect could flourish.
You should look up lesbian bed death. Even women who really are attracted to women don't stay physically attracted, and just stop having sex.
So why bother starting, and getting yourself confused about your identity over something that is not real?
Congratulations on completely discrediting an entire group of people.19 -
thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »I think you are just emotionally attracted - as in, you could really love them as a friend.
Our society has corrupted people's minds into thinking if you are connected to someone that connection must be sexual.
The Greeks had lost of names for love, which described many different kinds, and only one of them, eros, was sexual. There was brotherly love, friendship love (which you may be experiencing), paternal love and the general goodness/kindness for humanity, agape. There are more, but I can't remember them off hand.
You said your emotions are connected to your ability to be physically attracted. I would say that your physical attraction is a "fantom symptom" of your emotional connection, that if ignored, would go away, while the friendship aspect could flourish.
You should look up lesbian bed death. Even women who really are attracted to women don't stay physically attracted, and just stop having sex.
So why bother starting, and getting yourself confused about your identity over something that is not real?
Err what? It's 2016. Open up. Don't believe all the anti gay stuff you read.
I wasn't talking about anyone specific, to specify. Hasn't really happened to me in years.4 -
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thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »I think you are just emotionally attracted - as in, you could really love them as a friend.
Our society has corrupted people's minds into thinking if you are connected to someone that connection must be sexual.
The Greeks had lost of names for love, which described many different kinds, and only one of them, eros, was sexual. There was brotherly love, friendship love (which you may be experiencing), paternal love and the general goodness/kindness for humanity, agape. There are more, but I can't remember them off hand.
You said your emotions are connected to your ability to be physically attracted. I would say that your physical attraction is a "fantom symptom" of your emotional connection, that if ignored, would go away, while the friendship aspect could flourish.
You should look up lesbian bed death. Even women who really are attracted to women don't stay physically attracted, and just stop having sex.
So why bother starting, and getting yourself confused about your identity over something that is not real?
Ancient Greeks also slept with young boys...so there is that...11 -
Escloflowne wrote: »thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »I think you are just emotionally attracted - as in, you could really love them as a friend.
Our society has corrupted people's minds into thinking if you are connected to someone that connection must be sexual.
The Greeks had lost of names for love, which described many different kinds, and only one of them, eros, was sexual. There was brotherly love, friendship love (which you may be experiencing), paternal love and the general goodness/kindness for humanity, agape. There are more, but I can't remember them off hand.
You said your emotions are connected to your ability to be physically attracted. I would say that your physical attraction is a "fantom symptom" of your emotional connection, that if ignored, would go away, while the friendship aspect could flourish.
You should look up lesbian bed death. Even women who really are attracted to women don't stay physically attracted, and just stop having sex.
So why bother starting, and getting yourself confused about your identity over something that is not real?
Ancient Greeks also slept with young boys...so there is that...
*golf clap*0 -
thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »I think you are just emotionally attracted - as in, you could really love them as a friend.
Our society has corrupted people's minds into thinking if you are connected to someone that connection must be sexual.
The Greeks had lost of names for love, which described many different kinds, and only one of them, eros, was sexual. There was brotherly love, friendship love (which you may be experiencing), paternal love and the general goodness/kindness for humanity, agape. There are more, but I can't remember them off hand.
You said your emotions are connected to your ability to be physically attracted. I would say that your physical attraction is a "fantom symptom" of your emotional connection, that if ignored, would go away, while the friendship aspect could flourish.
You should look up lesbian bed death. Even women who really are attracted to women don't stay physically attracted, and just stop having sex.
So why bother starting, and getting yourself confused about your identity over something that is not real?
Sources? Mind you Westboro Baptist isn't a credible one.8 -
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Is the issue that the one man you are sexually attracted to isn't your mate?
Sexuality is fluid for many people, desire for sex ebbs and flows - attraction less about genitals and more about appearance and personality. You're fine. Enjoy life.3 -
Usually, I don't judge a book by its cover, but good looks always help0
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Maybe? Only you can identify what you identify with1
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devil_in_a_blue_dress wrote: »Is the issue that the one man you are sexually attracted to isn't your mate?
Sexuality is fluid for many people, desire for sex ebbs and flows - attraction less about genitals and more about appearance and personality. You're fine. Enjoy life.
Pretty much this. All mammals tend to have at least some attraction to both sexes and humans are no different.0 -
Ok it's interesting. Maybe I should add that I typically don't really get along with women either and my best friends have always been guys.0
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Ok it's interesting. Maybe I should add that I typically don't really get along with women either and my best friends have always been guys.
My friends have always been girls, I don't get along with men on a "friend" level, its always romantic
Also Idk if I could be friends with a guy without getting infatuated and falling in love1 -
I would just stick with dudes, OP. Women are so high maintenance and a few days a month it's a no go for sex.0
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Ok it's interesting. Maybe I should add that I typically don't really get along with women either and my best friends have always been guys.
Nah, irrelevant. Unless you aren't friends with women because it always turns romantic.
I have never had any issue making friends with men or women. I'm bi.2 -
devil_in_a_blue_dress wrote: »Is the issue that the one man you are sexually attracted to isn't your mate?
attraction less about genitals and more about appearance and personality.
appearance?
personality?
Drat.
The news just keeps getting worse & worse...
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Karb_Kween wrote: »Ok it's interesting. Maybe I should add that I typically don't really get along with women either and my best friends have always been guys.
My friends have always been girls, I don't get along with men on a "friend" level, its always romantic
Also Idk if I could be friends with a guy without getting infatuated and falling in love
I've had no problem being friends with guys because it's extremely rare for me to actually have a crush on someone. But yeah it unfortunately usually doesn't last forever, so I suppose there's indeed often some romantic stuff getting in the way (either on their side or a jealous girlfriend or something.. I don't really know, but they're typically the ones who drift away).
Not sure why I'm not that easily friend with women. I guess it's because I'm not very much a 'fashion/make up' person and more into the geeky stuff and I just haven't met many who can relate to that.0 -
MeganMoroz89 wrote: »You might feel like you fall into one of these categories:
Pansexual = You can be sexually attracted to any gender, whether or not it is within the male/female binary
Demisexual = You are only sexually attracted to certain people with whom you have an emotional connection
Is there something for 'almost never sexually attracted by anyone'? lol.1 -
Asexual? Wait that can't be right. I thought that's when creatures are able to reproduce by themselves.0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TB73Ko12yiQ
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