We broke up because...

When reading a book, she would only read the even numbered pages..

Switched from a 1-handed backhand to a 2-handed backhand, always hit his approach shots crosscourt, never implemented a slice serve to compliment his flat and kick serve and always foot-faulted on 2nd serves when playing doubles...

She was always handling somebody else's racquet and balls

Was always sticking her nose too far into other people's business ( into the fur )

Hurt his privates when he slipped standing on the top rope trying to execute a flying body slam

There's two of her. I can't handle both

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Attention deprived

The voices in her head didn't get along with the voices in my head...

Would frequently introduce me to her friends as "my 1st husband"...

Although she flossed 3 times a day, it was always during meals...
#VeryHygienic

Although she always showered and applied deodorant, she never did it on the same days...
#NotAsHygienic

He was always chasing a fallen Angel

Criticised constantly

she couldn't accept change.