massage by a man or woman???? does it matter to you????

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Replies

  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    edited December 2016
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    I worked as a Massage Therapist back in the 80's. It's how I met my wife. I rarely get a massage unless we are on vacation, and then I always schedule a couple's massage.

    It was rough trying to make a living as a Massage Therapist. A lot of guys are homophobic and don't want a massage from a guy. And, unfortunately, just based on my looks, a lot of women don't want to be alone in a room, nude, with me.

    Oh man, that stinks. I had no idea that people felt strongly one way or another about who gave them professional massages. Like I said before, I've never had one. You could probably show up wearing a dark hood and carrying a scythe and I'd just think "it seems like those big sleeves would get in the way during a massage but who knows, he's the professional!"
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    givesometogetsome wrote: »
    American culture is weird. Only thing that should matter is the quality of the massage, not the gender of the person giving it. But if it was going to matter, you'd think people would pick the male over the female because of strength assumptions and getting a deeper massage.

    Much of America is sexually repressed...thus non-sexual things become sexual and make people uncomfortable...

    Personally, I'm good to go either way...
  • _BrewingAZ_
    _BrewingAZ_ Posts: 252 Member
    I've had massages from both. From my experience, men seem to really work out the deep issues in the muscle and I leave feeling sore, but better. WOmen tend to give more relaxing massages and I leave feeling chillled the eff out.
  • GaleHawkins
    GaleHawkins Posts: 8,159 Member
    Great deep tissue is my first requirement. I have found females seem to make MT a longer term career. National Board certified therapists have worked out best in my experience. 9+ years with current MT is a record out 24 continuous years of MT. Now that I eat LCHF (2+ years) MT is not totally pain like the first 22 years. Since my best luck has been with female which is best basef on my experience this is NOT a debatable subject at my age.
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    I worked as a Massage Therapist back in the 80's. It's how I met my wife. I rarely get a massage unless we are on vacation, and then I always schedule a couple's massage.

    It was rough trying to make a living as a Massage Therapist. A lot of guys are homophobic and don't want a massage from a guy. And, unfortunately, just based on my looks, a lot of women don't want to be alone in a room, nude, with me.

    Why are males uncomfortable with male therapists, while females aren't uncomfortable with female therapists. Wouldn't the same reasoning apply?
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    TonyB0588 wrote: »
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    I worked as a Massage Therapist back in the 80's. It's how I met my wife. I rarely get a massage unless we are on vacation, and then I always schedule a couple's massage.

    It was rough trying to make a living as a Massage Therapist. A lot of guys are homophobic and don't want a massage from a guy. And, unfortunately, just based on my looks, a lot of women don't want to be alone in a room, nude, with me.

    Why are males uncomfortable with male therapists, while females aren't uncomfortable with female therapists. Wouldn't the same reasoning apply?

    I find that odd too. When my husband needed a prostrate exam years ago he said he would rather go to a woman doctor than a male, which i found really strange.. He said he didnt feel comfortable having a man sticking
    his fingers up his caboose!! Where as I have women doctors for anything female related.

    It must be a manly He man thing, where men shouldnt be touching one another because it's considered "gay". Who the F knows lol
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
    Joanna2012B wrote: »
    Nope doesn't matter...they are professionals!

    This. So much this.

    If they are great at what they do, why would gender matter?
  • slefko
    slefko Posts: 32 Member
    I'm a massage therapist, and to me it really doesn't matter, I just want someone who can give me a great massage. I do know a few male massage therapists who do struggle though. Generally there are a lot of people who come in that aren't comfortable with male massage therapists. I also know male massage therapists that are thriving and doing really well. If they are skilled and present themselves well, they will do just fine!
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
    I've never had a massage and the idea doesn't really appeal to me, but if I were to have one, the gender wouldn't matter.
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
    I've had both, but the one I keep going back to is a male. He's great and I like to give him the support since I know that men are very discriminated against in the industry.
  • robininfl
    robininfl Posts: 1,137 Member
    edited December 2016
    I posted before but:

    My masseur is a gay man, 6 and a half feet tall, big hands, and I think he is a sadist. This works well for me, it often hurts while he is working on me but afterwards it feels so good, and I like that he isn't into women sexually, I can relax completely.

    The guy who comes to our office is a wee bit creepy but it's not enough to be offputting for me, personally, if he enjoys it that's fine, it's a very public setup and more clothes so I feel absolutely safe.

    I do think that it's kind of silly and sexist but my lifelong preference is for a male massage therapist. OP, I think you should hire a man, that diverisfies your staff.

    ETA - Florida has a strong licensing program and massage is seen as a very professional health thing, massage therapy not massage parlor. I don't know if it's like that everywhere.
  • batman12
    batman12 Posts: 16 Member
    edited December 2016
    It is not illegal per se to hire only females if doing so is essential for the normal operation of a company. It is called a bona fide occupational qualiication. Google that term for further explanation. Unfortunately, as is seen in the vast majority of civil cases, the subjectivity involved makes for blurred lines. If I were a judge presiding over a case like this, I would deem a female-only hiring protocol as justifiable as anything even remotely sexual/sensual opens the door for lawsuits. Now if you discriminated for a position that is totally gender-neutral, that is another issue. Hooters has been sued twice for hiring only girls to serve and settled out of court in both instances. A lawyer representing Hooters insisted that this practice complies with BFOQ laws, but the company did not want to be wrapped up in litigation. However, Southwest Airlines in the 80s was sued or hiring only female flight attendants. The firm lost in that case as the court ruled that the airline was in violation of the Civil Rights Act of 1974 (title VII).

    On a personal level, I prefer only girls touching me.
  • richardgavel
    richardgavel Posts: 1,001 Member
    Have you thought about adding chair massages and foot massages? I imagine most clients wouldn't mind men for those and might build a repor with them to move to table.
  • ModernRock
    ModernRock Posts: 372 Member
    batman12 wrote: »
    It is not illegal per se to hire only females if doing so is essential for the normal operation of a company. It is called a bona fide occupational qualiication. Google that term for further explanation. Unfortunately, as is seen in the vast majority of civil cases, the subjectivity involved makes for blurred lines. If I were a judge presiding over a case like this, I would deem a female-only hiring protocol as justifiable as anything even remotely sexual/sensual opens the door for lawsuits.

    In this particular case, it wouldn't even get to a courtroom to make the occupational qualification argument because it sounds like she only has two employees (counting herself) and the issue is not about race or any other protected class that might cause other protections to kick in. The sex discrimination in hiring protection in Title VII only applies to businesses with 15 or more employees. So, barring any protections in her state that would cover situations with only two employees, the complaint wouldn't go anywhere. I am not a lawyer.
  • ModernRock
    ModernRock Posts: 372 Member
    edited December 2016
    After posting my comment, I went back to see the original poster's state. It turns out to be Colorado, which recently implemented hiring protections (Colorado Anti-Discrimination Act) far stricter than the federal law, including complaints regardless of employer size. She may want to seek council prior to turning away any qualified male applicants on the basis of there being an occupational requirement to be female at her particular business.
  • KrazyKrissyy
    KrazyKrissyy Posts: 322 Member
    edited December 2016
    I'm fine with either gender giving massages as I've had experience with both. If I were to decide though, I would honestly choose my cat. The best massages are done by paws ;)
  • redmama70
    redmama70 Posts: 23 Member
    I go monthly. Every therapist is different, not just male female.

    I have had 2 men and the other women.

    One male was so so; one was really good.

    I have had the same female one several times, and I can't have her do it anymore. It hurts...even when she is applying little pressure.

    I don't care male/ female.
  • CTcutie
    CTcutie Posts: 649 Member
    I will see either, but have a preference for a female therapist- because most of the male therapists I've had tend to use too LITTLE pressure, even when I tell them I like moderate.
    I have female friends who will only see a female though bc they feel uncomfortable, fwiw.
  • CasperNaegle
    CasperNaegle Posts: 936 Member
    So long as I get a good massage I don't care.

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