Flirting
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GnothiSeauton23 wrote: »PersianKitty94 wrote: »Apparently I flirt and am a tease. IDK where they get that from. I'm just awesome and they take that as being flirtatious. This is why I never respond to messages on here. One second it's " Hey. How are you?" and the next it's " Wanna get married?"
and this whole time I thought we had something special going on...I even showed you my kitten
Dammit, I knew this day would come.1 -
I don't think it is that straight forward Kas. I converse easily and am naturally a funny fecker. Guys often assume this is flirting just bc people perceive things as they want to. So basically, should I just avoid all interaction with the opposite sex? I think, rather, people should just be less quick to assume...9
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At the same time, I think sometimes some girls do purposely let a guy think they're interested bc they like the attention it gets them. So it's multiple-sided...5
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Is flirting leading somebody on with no intent on fulfilling the desired response? People taking things wrong is one thing but flirting without fulfilling the intent is just mind games.3
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Well what if both parties don't agree on what "the intent" or "the desired response" is? If I am purposely flirting with a stranger out at a bar or something, my "intent" might be: yeah, I might be interested in a date with you. If his idea of "the intent" is that I want to bang him...that's on him.12
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I say if you've stated you don't want to date them and they still talk to you knowing that they like you as something more than that's their own fault. You stated your business and he chose not to believe it.
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^ So by that logic....
If you accidentally act in a way that is perceived as flirting, regardless of your actual intent...you deserve aggressive sexual advances.
If you give out your phone number and message with someone, regardless of intent....you deserve aggressive sexual advances.
If you have a sexy profile picture....you deserve aggressive sexual advances.
If you wear a short skirt....you deserve aggressive sexual advances.
That "you asked for it" or "you let it happen" mentality is really problematic.
Girls should be able to talk to or pursue friendships with members of the opposite sex without fearing that the guys will assume we "owe" them sex.
It's on each of us not to assume what others want from interactions. If you don't know....ask. If you assume, it's on you.
Didn't mean to make it so serious or get over-invested, but this is an issue in society
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Damn, this post got real serious.4
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BrinaBecnel wrote: »GnothiSeauton23 wrote: »littlemissbgiff wrote: »I refuse to flirt to avoid this very thing. Someone's always falling in love with me and it's kinda a hassle.BrinaBecnel wrote: »littlemissbgiff wrote: »I refuse to flirt to avoid this very thing. Someone's always falling in love with me and it's kinda a hassle.
See... I don't really try to flirt... and it's not like Jessica Rabbit flirting! It's like friendly making jokes kind of flirting that just comes out, you know?! I don't know if that makes sense, but it did in my head. Lol But the same thing tends to happen to me even though I'm very clear that I'm not interested in dating.
what a tragedy...how do you deal with such a burden in life to have guys fall for you.
It is when you have to try to let them down gently and they still get hurt. That's why I asked the question in the first place. Am I leading them on if I'm perfectly clear that I don't want a relationship or should I just end the friendship?
I don't think you're leading them on if you're clear you don't want a relationship but I also think you probably shouldn't be flirting with someone you only consider a friend. It will still send mixed signals.3 -
BrinaBecnel wrote: »GnothiSeauton23 wrote: »littlemissbgiff wrote: »I refuse to flirt to avoid this very thing. Someone's always falling in love with me and it's kinda a hassle.BrinaBecnel wrote: »littlemissbgiff wrote: »I refuse to flirt to avoid this very thing. Someone's always falling in love with me and it's kinda a hassle.
See... I don't really try to flirt... and it's not like Jessica Rabbit flirting! It's like friendly making jokes kind of flirting that just comes out, you know?! I don't know if that makes sense, but it did in my head. Lol But the same thing tends to happen to me even though I'm very clear that I'm not interested in dating.
what a tragedy...how do you deal with such a burden in life to have guys fall for you.
It is when you have to try to let them down gently and they still get hurt. That's why I asked the question in the first place. Am I leading them on if I'm perfectly clear that I don't want a relationship or should I just end the friendship?
I don't think you're leading them on if you're clear you don't want a relationship but I also think you probably shouldn't be flirting with someone you only consider a friend. It will still send mixed signals.
Had this happen with a female friend, definitely a difficult position. Being led on is not fun.0 -
Flirting while single is fine. Heck have fun
But once you're taken you should only flirt with your partner. Unfortunately my partner doesn't get that and cheated bc some hoe flirted with him and he's clearly weak.3 -
We're adults. Adults show know how to manage expectations. We need to disable ourselves of being "led on" and being "friendzoned". It reeks of entitlement.7
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If it's what you do naturally and you've straight up told him you don't want to date, then it's whatever. Just realize the guy will probably think he's the exception to that rule and thinks you'll fall for him eventually, so prepare for a headache anyways.5
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Two natural flirts, automatically get this and is not a problem.
Its when one is a natural flirt and the other is not.. The way I see it, when the other one doing the flirting with the non flirt, the non flirt cannot change the fact that they think you are in to them.. It does not matter if you let it be known up front, if it goes on longer than one conversation or two or three, that person is going to interpret that you want to pursue something with them. Past the one or two menial conversations in passing, it becomes mind games.9 -
I flirt with every guy who flirts back, but I'm savage and heartless so I don't care if they think I'm into them when im not. Then again I'm not at the point in my life where relationships are really a thing yet soooo4
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