Non friendly females in the gym.
Replies
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Reading all these comments makes me so happy to be a part of a gym/box where the staff knows my name and everyone is super friendly.
We have a bell we ring when we get a new 1RM and everyone cheers when you run up at it and ring it..
We even cheer each other on and chat in the hot tub and sauna..
We also have an app and a group on Facebook to chat to one another..
I think some of you are worried to much about people who are trying to get into your pants that you're forgetting to have fun and enjoy the journey..
Or maybe we're just all different and having fun and laughing isn't a part of your gym time. We all do what works for us.
I love this so much!!!
Encouragement and motivation from others can enhance what can sometimes end up being a very tedious process.
I may tell my gym we need a bell
yeah, but isn't she in Iceland
the entire nation, they're already on a first name basis with each other.5 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Reading all these comments makes me so happy to be a part of a gym/box where the staff knows my name and everyone is super friendly.
We have a bell we ring when we get a new 1RM and everyone cheers when you run up at it and ring it..
We even cheer each other on and chat in the hot tub and sauna..
We also have an app and a group on Facebook to chat to one another..
I think some of you are worried to much about people who are trying to get into your pants that you're forgetting to have fun and enjoy the journey..
Or maybe we're just all different and having fun and laughing isn't a part of your gym time. We all do what works for us.
I love this so much!!!
Encouragement and motivation from others can enhance what can sometimes end up being a very tedious process.
I may tell my gym we need a bell
yeah, but isn't she in Iceland
the entire nation, they're already on a first name basis with each other.
This is true. But to be fair we don't have a last name.. We have patronymic or matrionymic last names.. So if you'd call me by my last name you'd be calling me my dad's first name and just adding dottir (daughter) behind his name.. That's just wouldn't work lol2 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Reading all these comments makes me so happy to be a part of a gym/box where the staff knows my name and everyone is super friendly.
We have a bell we ring when we get a new 1RM and everyone cheers when you run up at it and ring it..
We even cheer each other on and chat in the hot tub and sauna..
We also have an app and a group on Facebook to chat to one another..
I think some of you are worried to much about people who are trying to get into your pants that you're forgetting to have fun and enjoy the journey..
Or maybe we're just all different and having fun and laughing isn't a part of your gym time. We all do what works for us.
I love this so much!!!
Encouragement and motivation from others can enhance what can sometimes end up being a very tedious process.
I may tell my gym we need a bell
yeah, but isn't she in Iceland
the entire nation, they're already on a first name basis with each other.
This is true. But to be fair we don't have a last name.. We have patronymic or matrionymic last names.. So if you'd call me by my last name you'd be calling me my dad's first name and just adding dottir (daughter) behind his name.. That's just wouldn't work lol
There's what? Like 20 people living in Iceland?
19 when Björk goes on tour...3 -
The notion that women are supposed to be friendly and respond with a smile when approached by a friendly male is rooted in sexism. Sorry bro, but I have to call it like I see it. It's a gym, not a bar or lounge.
I think ALL people should be friendly when approached by another friendly person
nah. all people should be civil unless they're given good grounds not to be, but 'should be friendly' just gets a great big get-real from me.
i realise that i can't get my head around extraversion, but i swear. some people need to learn a little social self-sufficiency even if they are extraverts. if they're old enough to be at the gym without a parent to take care of them, they should be old enough to survive an hour or two with their own company. or if they can't, then imo they ought to bring their own instead of arriving solo and then expecting the general [female?] population to provide some for them.
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I never talk to anyone when I go to the gym either. Truthfully because I'm so intimidated by everyone and don't have the confidence in myself. I just workout at home now.1
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Motorsheen wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »Reading all these comments makes me so happy to be a part of a gym/box where the staff knows my name and everyone is super friendly.
We have a bell we ring when we get a new 1RM and everyone cheers when you run up at it and ring it..
We even cheer each other on and chat in the hot tub and sauna..
We also have an app and a group on Facebook to chat to one another..
I think some of you are worried to much about people who are trying to get into your pants that you're forgetting to have fun and enjoy the journey..
Or maybe we're just all different and having fun and laughing isn't a part of your gym time. We all do what works for us.
I love this so much!!!
Encouragement and motivation from others can enhance what can sometimes end up being a very tedious process.
I may tell my gym we need a bell
yeah, but isn't she in Iceland
the entire nation, they're already on a first name basis with each other.
This is true. But to be fair we don't have a last name.. We have patronymic or matrionymic last names.. So if you'd call me by my last name you'd be calling me my dad's first name and just adding dottir (daughter) behind his name.. That's just wouldn't work lol
There's what? Like 20 people living in Iceland?
19 when Björk goes on tour...
No.. 18, she usually takes her son with her
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I don't have anything new to offer this thread so maybe I shouldn't really post, but...
I'm the same as most people here. I might humor someone on a short conversation if they tried, because I don't want to be rude, but really, the gym is the one place where I don't want to be spoken to. I want to listen to my music in peace and zone out while I exercise.4 -
In my experience, if you just keep it short and friendly they will too (the unfriendly women), but if you stare, get too much in their business, stare some more, try to be noticed, and also you're still staring.... they won't be friendly towards you. They don't have to be either. It's not a bar. It's not a dating site, it's a gym. People are there for THEIR reasons, not your reasons. If you're worrying why the women are not talking to you, reevaluate why you are even going there, because it is not to work out obviously.10
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Women are usually not in the gym to hook up with some creepy gym rat. Most are goal oriented, and time is an investment not to be taken lightly and wasted with chit-chat or idle musings.
Life is not a porn flick....
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I try to keep my head down and do what I came to do. I will smile and say hello if I'm approached, but in my experience being polite like this seems to give guys the impression I want to chat.
If you are looking to make a connection may I suggest checking out other gyms? I have a friend who works at a gym that has a reputation for being a singles hangout. Like a bar, but healthier!2 -
[quote="burtmccleary;38734072"
Life is not a porn flick.... [/quote]
Wait.
What?
.... Well, So You Say.
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canadianlbs wrote: »The notion that women are supposed to be friendly and respond with a smile when approached by a friendly male is rooted in sexism. Sorry bro, but I have to call it like I see it. It's a gym, not a bar or lounge.
I think ALL people should be friendly when approached by another friendly person
nah. all people should be civil unless they're given good grounds not to be, but 'should be friendly' just gets a great big get-real from me.
i realise that i can't get my head around extraversion, but i swear. some people need to learn a little social self-sufficiency even if they are extraverts. if they're old enough to be at the gym without a parent to take care of them, they should be old enough to survive an hour or two with their own company. or if they can't, then imo they ought to bring their own instead of arriving solo and then expecting the general [female?] population to provide some for them.
I meant that in all situations, not just in the gym. I am sad that people have an immediate "shut people out" attitude anywhere. I make eye contact and smile and say hi walking down the street, at the grocery, at the gym, anywhere really. I don't see why that's bad, but to each their own I guess.
It's good to read this and I'm the same. And it makes me happy to be that way and has improved the quality of my life since I made a conscious decision to do this years ago. For anyone who doubts the life affirming power of offering simple, no-strings-attached friendliness everywhere you go in real life - they should try it for one week. I'm sure they'd be pleasantly surprised.
One week?
... how 'bout, fifteen minutes?
That's all I've got in me and even that's a stretch.2 -
Motorsheen wrote: »canadianlbs wrote: »The notion that women are supposed to be friendly and respond with a smile when approached by a friendly male is rooted in sexism. Sorry bro, but I have to call it like I see it. It's a gym, not a bar or lounge.
I think ALL people should be friendly when approached by another friendly person
nah. all people should be civil unless they're given good grounds not to be, but 'should be friendly' just gets a great big get-real from me.
i realise that i can't get my head around extraversion, but i swear. some people need to learn a little social self-sufficiency even if they are extraverts. if they're old enough to be at the gym without a parent to take care of them, they should be old enough to survive an hour or two with their own company. or if they can't, then imo they ought to bring their own instead of arriving solo and then expecting the general [female?] population to provide some for them.
I meant that in all situations, not just in the gym. I am sad that people have an immediate "shut people out" attitude anywhere. I make eye contact and smile and say hi walking down the street, at the grocery, at the gym, anywhere really. I don't see why that's bad, but to each their own I guess.
It's good to read this and I'm the same. And it makes me happy to be that way and has improved the quality of my life since I made a conscious decision to do this years ago. For anyone who doubts the life affirming power of offering simple, no-strings-attached friendliness everywhere you go in real life - they should try it for one week. I'm sure they'd be pleasantly surprised.
One week?
... how 'bout, fifteen minutes?
That's all I've got in me and even that's a stretch.
You can't fool me. I get the feeling you really are a friendly person in real life
Dang!
You called me out.
I like to practice personal violence in the gym and extreme kindness everywhere else.
It's a balance.3 -
The notion that women are supposed to be friendly and respond with a smile when approached by a friendly male is rooted in sexism. Sorry bro, but I have to call it like I see it. It's a gym, not a bar or lounge.
I think ALL people should be friendly when approached by another friendly person
I agree but to an extent. To say that a female should be expected to engage someone because they are friendly is wrong on a few different levels. Yes, a polite "hello" should get at least an equally polite "hello" in return. But we all know that polite hello usually comes with more. My wife deals with that all the time. I think women are often put in awkward situations...be polite and run the risk of having some guy talk their ear off. Or cut the conversation short and be the subject of an MFP thread.
I understand your view. I just look at it like you have to apply lessons you have learned carefully. I have met creeps. I have also met lots of good people. If everyone that approached me was treated with an attitude of "get the *kitten* away from me" then I would have far less friends.
I have gotten food poisoning from a restaurant before, I still eat out sometimes.
I prefer to keep my mind and heart open, some don't and that is their prerogative.
But OP didn't say "why aren't people friendly at the gym?" He specifically called out "females" for not wanting to have a causal chat with him at the gym. There in lies the sexism. He's expecting women to drop what they're doing to talk to him. He's not asking for just a smile or a nod or a "hey how ya doing?" He's asking for a full blown conversation from women who are there to get in a workout and then getting in his feelings because they rebuffed him.
I agree that people should be friendly but they don't have to be and my idea of friendly is different than yours. I smiled politely and kept it moving, that's friendly to me, but just bc I don't want to have a 5-10 minute conversation with someone who I don't know doesn't make me unfriendly.15 -
The notion that women are supposed to be friendly and respond with a smile when approached by a friendly male is rooted in sexism. Sorry bro, but I have to call it like I see it. It's a gym, not a bar or lounge.
I think ALL people should be friendly when approached by another friendly person
I agree but to an extent. To say that a female should be expected to engage someone because they are friendly is wrong on a few different levels. Yes, a polite "hello" should get at least an equally polite "hello" in return. But we all know that polite hello usually comes with more. My wife deals with that all the time. I think women are often put in awkward situations...be polite and run the risk of having some guy talk their ear off. Or cut the conversation short and be the subject of an MFP thread.
I understand your view. I just look at it like you have to apply lessons you have learned carefully. I have met creeps. I have also met lots of good people. If everyone that approached me was treated with an attitude of "get the *kitten* away from me" then I would have far less friends.
I have gotten food poisoning from a restaurant before, I still eat out sometimes.
I prefer to keep my mind and heart open, some don't and that is their prerogative.
But OP didn't say "why aren't people friendly at the gym?" He specifically called out "females" for not wanting to have a causal chat with him at the gym. There in lies the sexism. He's expecting women to drop what they're doing to talk to him. He's not asking for just a smile or a nod or a "hey how ya doing?" He's asking for a full blown conversation from women who are there to get in a workout and then getting in his feelings because they rebuffed him.
I agree that people should be friendly but they don't have to be and my idea of friendly is different than yours. I smiled politely and kept it moving, that's friendly to me, but just bc I don't want to have a 5-10 minute conversation with someone who I don't know doesn't make me unfriendly.
Bolding that last part, because it's so true. People seem to forget that their definition of things is rarely the only definition. Personal preference, cultural norms, introversion vs. extraversion, all sorts of things influence our perception of what's friendly versus unfriendly. What works for one person and makes them personally happy might make another person miserable and vice versa. People really need to stop trying to apply a one size fits all approach to the world or saying theirs is "best." Best for you (general you) is just that. Best for you. Everybody is different.14 -
You gave an opinion that if women don't chat you up, we are "unfriendly". So me not consenting to a conversation because I'm not there to converse makes me unfriendly?6 -
Maybe it's just RBF (resting *kitten* face)--I know I have that whenever I'm at the gym. Maybe that's why no one approaches me :P0
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I don't think ALL of em are unfriendly. I personally use gym time as some of my ME time. Time to get in the zone, unravel from home & work stress. I turn on my music and it's like I'm there all on my own. Of course, except when I've gotta wait for someone to get off the equipment I'd like to use. Lol
I have noticed though many females where I go wear a *kitten* load of make up to the gym. So maybe they're not part of the unfriendly ones you're referring to.
I often wonder if they're there to meet the one... Or what the deal is.
But answering your original post- not everyone is unfriendly. Maybe you should start by saying "hi."2
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